NSV - mind games

Hi All,

I wanted to share with you my recent NSV. I hope you’ll read this and know that nothing can stop you if you have faith in yourself – not even your weight. Here’s a little background. I have always been overweight but was very active and in decent cardiovascular and strength shape as a young adult. I played soccer, basketball, softball until the 8th grade. When I entered high school I found the love of my life – volleyball. I played volleyball all 4 years of high school all year round and went on to play in college, as well as coach two high school varsity teams. When I graduated college I started working for a medical software company as a traveling implementation specialist. That left no time for coaching or pick up leagues. After 7 years of traveling and an extra 30lbs I decided to retire my wings and get a job that didn’t require travel. It’s been 2 years since I have stopped traveling for work.

In the past 2 years I have searched for volleyball leagues and found many that would work with my schedule. I signed up for zero of them. Why? My weight. Sadly I realized I’ve been letting my weight control what I think I can and cannot do in my life. I kept saying to myself, when I lose 30 pounds I’ll start playing again. I’m not in good enough shape to play. I got tired of hearing myself saying things like this. I missed playing volleyball so much and I felt like there was a whole in my heart because I couldn’t and wouldn’t play.

Well a couple of weeks ago I bit the bullet and signed up for a co-ed beach league. I was feeling pretty good about myself after losing 10 pounds in two months. I felt like I could do anything. Well let me tell you the mind is a very powerful thing. It can push you to do great things as well as hold you back. Leading up to last night (my first game) my mind did everything it could to scare me! I went from feeling like I could accomplish anything to OMG what have I done. I had thoughts like "Why in the world did I sign up for beach volleyball?" “I won’t be able to play to their level” “I hope my t shirt fits me” “Am I too heavy to wear shorts?” “Will the other girls be in bathing suits?” "Will the guys judge my weight and not take me seriously?" Oh my god it was crazy how much I was psyching myself out. I had a nervous pit in my stomach when I showed up last night. I was even shaking a little bit. I'm not going to lie it took an incredible amount of will power to push through those fears and just show up to play.

So how did it go?

Well, I jumped into the first game and all of those silly thoughts melted away. Could I play at the level of others, hell yes! It was like riding a bike. Was I extremely winded? You bet but I didn’t care. I pushed through the huffing and puffing and had the time of my life. I made some great plays and contributed quite a few points to our matches. I can’t wait for next Monday.

I wanted to share this story with you all, because if you’re like me you may be letting your weight control your life. If you’ve ever wanted to do something and not done it because you felt self conscious about your weight you know what I’m talking about. This experience has opened my eyes. I started to look at other areas of my life and wondered where else am I letting my weight control how I act or what I do? Well let me tell you I found a few more areas – but no more will I let my weight control me. I am pushing myself to become a better me. I will continue to put myself into uncomfortable situations until I learn that there aren’t any! I’m just as capable as anyone else if I put my mind to it.

So far I’ve lost 14lbs and I have a long way to go until I reach my goal weight. Last night I reached a goal that has been on my mind since the day I played my last game in college. It feels amazing. I can already feel my confidence building back up. If people were judging me last night I didn’t notice, nor do I care! I hope after reading this NSV it will inspire you to try something you've always wanted to but your weight has been mentally holding you back.

Best,
Erica