body image issue? Diet or maintain.

indoubt
indoubt Posts: 20 Member
edited November 20 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all,

please let me say first of all I'm not trying to fish for compliments or something similar. I think I'm having body image problems and would like to hear your opinion on maintaining or continuing to diet. Over the last 11 months I've lost 17kg (37.5lbs) with small maintenance breaks, and am at a healthy BMI of 20.3 now.

Though when I look in the mirror I have the feeling I don't look like other people of similar size and weight. I think parts of it is due to my large pelvis, but also due to my legs. While they've lost quite some inches they remain big at the uppermost inner thighs and lowermost lower legs. It's not oedema I'd say: it's soft squishy fat that doesn't get bigger in the course of the day. But maybe it's just my head playing tricks with me. I know I'm not fat and look kind of fit, but either I was expecting to look differently after 20 years of being slightly overweight, or my mind didn't keep up with the changes and is still in chubby mode.

Stats
Female, 42
Weight 58kg
Size: 169cm
Run 3x per week and do bodyweight exercises 2-3x per week, sometimes with addition of 8 and 12kg kettlebells (Turkish getups, clean and press, etc). I don't have access to a gym to lift heavy.

I've uploaded some photos (might delete them again later on as I'm not comfortable with having them on the net) and would like your opinion: continue diet or maintain? Just looking at the numbers I feel like I should not lose more weight as I'm close to a BMI below 20, on the other hand I feel like there's still so much fat on my legs and arms that something must be wrong with the numbers (that's the head thingy I suppose). I don't have friends to ask so I'm asking you.

front

side

somewhat better light

flexed
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Replies

  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    edited June 2015
    Oh no! How do I edit the profile photo in the forum? :s

    edit: oh, just needed a minute to update. Phew!
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    Sometimes it takes time for our brain to catch up with our body. I hope you can look at the pictures and see a pretty decent figure.... For a 41 year old, I think you look sensational.

    Personally, I'd consider eating at maintenance and keep lifting... Your legs will keep losing fat slowly (I would hope, as in a recomp) and you might just become happier with your shape.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    You look great. Give yourself four or five months to get used to the new you. Keep lifting. :star::star::star:
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited June 2015
    You look great.

    I do know how you feel, though. I think a lot of women feel the same way - our thighs really resist giving up fat, for hormonal reasons. (Apparently, it changes after menopause.) I think it's easier/less of a headgame to not try to, at your BMI.

    I agree with the person above me - maintain, and keep working on shaping leg and glute muscles.
  • Gianfranco_R
    Gianfranco_R Posts: 1,297 Member
    you already look great, eat at maintenance, keep exercising, and you'll recomp
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    You look good. Lots of younger women would envy a tummy like yours. I understand what you are saying about your legs, but this is how you are built and it is definitely not unique or weird or bad looking. I think it is a matter of learning to love your body type.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,322 Member
    Catcall <smack>; but, honey she looks GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!

    Eating at maintenance and continuing to exercise will help you get closer to where you want to be and it will give your head time to wrap itself around its new reality :smile:
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    I think you look awesome

    Yes to maintenance and adjusting your self-perception

    Yes to a good bodyweight programme .. http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/ (there's also an advanced one)

    You have so got this
  • rugratz2015
    rugratz2015 Posts: 593 Member
    You look fabulous!!! You have a similar body build as me, except you have the slim version, it is a case of learning to appreciate what you have and dressing well to flaunt your assets. Keep maintaining and exercising and you will get the results you want :smiley:
  • SkinnyWannabeGal
    SkinnyWannabeGal Posts: 143 Member
    I think you look really awesome!

    Same thing happened to me when I lost around 35 pounds a couple of years ago. I was expecting my thighs to be smaller than they were. I felt like they were not proportionate with the rest of my body. When I looked in the mirror I saw a flat tummy and chunky thighs. However, no one else I knew thought they were big, just me. I have since accepted them.

    You most definitely do not look like you need to lose anymore weight. I had gained some of my weight back so my tummy now matches my thighs (in my mind) :/ so I'm back on another weightloss journey now.

    P.s. you look fantastic! I want my body to look more like yours again!
  • wils5150
    wils5150 Posts: 149 Member
    You look really great. Can see those abs popping in that flexed pic
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Recomp! You look great! Stick with what you are doing and just up the intensity/difficulty. Bodyweight moves can be progressed very far.
  • genki90
    genki90 Posts: 94 Member
    In my opinion you look awesome! But it doesn't matter as long as you can't see that.
    The biggest mistake we make is comparing our body to others. When we start losing weight we usually imagine our ideal body using someone elses image, our friends legs, our sisters abs, some celebrity's butt etc. So we set our goals with that in mind. But in reality we can never achieve this body, because we are all different and unique! (Each person carries his/her weight differently, some have larger pelvis, some longer torso and others tiny shoulders.)
    We should try to love our body before, during and after our transformation. In the end in won't look like anyone else's body and that's okay. It's the only body we have and the one that's keeping us alive and active every day.
  • FitnessTim
    FitnessTim Posts: 234 Member
    As others have said you look great. At this point any more improvement would be vanity purposes only which is okay. If you still want to improve how you look in a bikini, you could try reducing your body fat even further while continuing to build muscle. For women 20% body fat is healthy but some people are able to sustain even lower levels.

    By very careful monitoring of my diet and plenty of working out, I had managed to get my body fat down to 10% a couple of years ago. While it looked great, I was not able to maintain that level for long. For me 16-18% is a comfortable range.

    The photos in fitness magazines or in Youtube videos are often extreme examples. If it is your job to look a certain way it is more feasible to maintain that look.

    For me personally, I still like to strive for under 15% body fat. I consider it a hobby that also motivates me to stay healthy and fit.

    Don't minimize the positive. Feel proud of what you have achieved. It is great that you are looking beyond you latest accomplishment but don't forget what it took for you to get where you are today.
  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    Sorry all for just replying now. I got an upset tummy yesterday and spent the rest of the day in bed.

    Anyway, thanks a lot for all your answers. Some of them really made me shed a little tear because they are so right. Especially you, @genki90 I realized yesterday that I could actually wear short skirts, if I find something for my lowermost legs (I hate it that I'm not really thin around the ankles and achilles heal, like pretty much everyone else). So yes, I've come a long way and I think I will pick up your comments and stop dieting and start maintaining while keeping up the workouts.

    @rabbitjb nice workouts! At the moment I'm usually doing 2 workouts from Bodyrock (there's a website with all old Zuzka workouts) and change them slightly to something that makes more sense where necessary. That way I get about 40-50 minutes of workout time, or around 30 without the breaks and get to know many variations. Sometimes, when I feel like it I do circuits for arms/shoulders, core and legs/butt and try to find a new variation of each group in each round of 20 in total or so. Something I read here a while ago. It's a lot of fun and keeps things interesting. Other days I might just do a challenge of x pushups, x slow squats, x burpees, etc. I don't think I'll be able to build as much muscle with bodyweight as with barbell exercises, but at least it's not boring.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    I think you look great :) Just keep doing what you are doing and you'll start to see how great you look. You deserve the compliments your getting!!!
  • professionalHobbyist
    professionalHobbyist Posts: 1,316 Member
    Self image is a progressive progress thing for lots of people

    It takes time to let our new self image catch up with our new body

    You look great and maybe it is that time of adjusting your comfort leve with that fact

    Negative self talk and even comments from others add up like old paint on a house. Sometimes it had to be stripped away and new paint applied.

    It sounds so simple. But I know myself it is not.

    Best wishes on your journey of seeing yourself clearly and living who you are.
  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    PAV8888 wrote: »
    Catcall <smack>; but, honey she looks GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!

    Eating at maintenance and continuing to exercise will help you get closer to where you want to be and it will give your head time to wrap itself around its new reality :smile:

    I'd like to quote this one as it made me smile big time :blush: Hey, thanks a lot!

    But the thanks also goes to everyone else of course. <3

    Looks like I really need to work on my self image. Maybe I should finally get rid of the chubby clothes and go shopping. I don't know what size will fit and the current fashionable colours are not really mine, but my size 42 trousers are certainly too big, even with a belt.
  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    Hmmpf.. looking at those photos again I think I should finally throw out the dead plant that's been standing there for at least half a year... and tidy up the bathroom :*
  • bubaluboo
    bubaluboo Posts: 2,098 Member
    I could have written a very similar post. I'm 177cm and 65Kg making a bmi of 20.7. Most of my excess fat is carried between my belly button and upper thighs and I'm sure if I took a picture of that region only so if I focus on that area, I think I look fat. I have to say you do look much better than me. My thought is to continue to lose fat until the stubborn chubby bits are gone (as long as it's still in the healthy range) and then concentrate on bulking a little to add muscle. I don't know if that's the best approach and happy to be guided if there's a better way :)
  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    bubaluboo wrote: »
    I could have written a very similar post. I'm 177cm and 65Kg making a bmi of 20.7. Most of my excess fat is carried between my belly button and upper thighs and I'm sure if I took a picture of that region only so if I focus on that area, I think I look fat. I have to say you do look much better than me. My thought is to continue to lose fat until the stubborn chubby bits are gone (as long as it's still in the healthy range) and then concentrate on bulking a little to add muscle. I don't know if that's the best approach and happy to be guided if there's a better way :)

    Yes, please do ask here. Looks like we're having the same body issues, though my lower abdomen is not really chubby, and my hips on the side just below the pelvis are actually a bit thinner than that darn piece of bone there. Legs and arms problem here, in my own body image anyway. ;)

    But hey, I did find some old photos on my phone from the time I started losing weight. And man, it's a big change! I'm glad I have those photos.
  • evileen99
    evileen99 Posts: 1,564 Member
    I think you look pretty damn good. I have wide, boxy hip bones that are never going to look the way I'd like, so I understand how you have a hard time looking past them. Good job!
  • viclrstew
    viclrstew Posts: 15 Member
    I think you look great!! Just keep lifting weights. Congratulations on your tremendous progress!
  • wils5150
    wils5150 Posts: 149 Member
    Everyone has areas of there body they don't like. Usually no one else notices them lol, looking at your pics you look very fit and you have a great tummy which is very hard to obtain for some,
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    indoubt wrote: »
    Hmmpf.. looking at those photos again I think I should finally throw out the dead plant that's been standing there for at least half a year... and tidy up the bathroom :*

    This made me laugh. Whenever I take pics I'm checking out the background to make sure it's not messy.

    I think you look great! I agree with others that say that you just might need to wait for your head to catch up with what is in the mirror. It might also help to take one of those pictures and put it side by side with one of the old pictures you found. I was getting really frustrated about not seeing any change in my face but when I put an old picture next to a current one it became really obvious.
  • genki90
    genki90 Posts: 94 Member
    @indoubt tip for thick ankles! (mine are huge.. :sweat_smile: ) Try shoes with the Mary Jane strap, it's the one that goes around your instep instead of going around your ankle. Makes a huge difference! ;)
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    If you think you look bad when you look in the mirror, spend less time in front of the mirror. No one else analyzes every single detail of your body like you do. In fact, the clothes you choose to wear makes a bigger impression on people than how big your pelvis is. If you smile at people, you could look like a deformed toad and people wouldn't notice. They would just think, there's a nice lady.
  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    genki90 wrote: »
    @indoubt tip for thick ankles! (mine are huge.. :sweat_smile: ) Try shoes with the Mary Jane strap, it's the one that goes around your instep instead of going around your ankle. Makes a huge difference! ;)

    Hey, I might try that! I do like those kind of shoes actually! Thanks a lot.
  • indoubt
    indoubt Posts: 20 Member
    jkal1979 wrote: »
    indoubt wrote: »
    Hmmpf.. looking at those photos again I think I should finally throw out the dead plant that's been standing there for at least half a year... and tidy up the bathroom :*

    This made me laugh. Whenever I take pics I'm checking out the background to make sure it's not messy.

    Well... *cough* spontaneous idea and all... the plant is still there though. Need to find something else to fill up that huge empty space.

    Anyway, thanks a lot all :blush: Feels good to hear some opinions. I'm sure my head will eventually catch up.

    Btw, with some of the discussions here about women being pear shaped, apples or bananas: what do you think I might be? pearish? Not that it's important, just curious.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    You look great, I'm envious of your flat tum :smile: learn to love yourself, you've done great. It does take the mind a long time to catch on that you are indeed now very slim, I know it took me about a year for my head to catch up.
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