anyone else struggle with their relatives trying to discourage you??
Options
Replies
-
Sort of. I'm always being asked what I would like to eat - 'would I like X as well... You're not eating very much.'0
-
I've lost 65 pounds in the last two years and comparing my current weight to my old weight, yes it is a dramatic difference. I have had people comment that I'm getting too skinny or that I shouldn't lose any more weight. I believe they are just so used to seeing you with the additional weight that it seems different to see you with less weight. People generally don't like change, so they feel like you are doing something that isn't healthy. You should just tell them that you feel great and are healthy so you'll do what's best for you. Do what makes you feel best in regards to your body weight and health.0
-
Nope... I don't discuss my weight loss goals with family or anyone.0
-
Just my 2 cents......
Do you want pie/ice cream/bread etc.? No is a complete sentence! Please respect my no. To avoid hurt feelings at family events: Dear Auntie, Mom, Dad, Sis you make the best cake, pie, cookies, etc, no thank you I'm full may I take some home for later. You don't need to tell them it is going in the trash.
Offer to help clean the kitchen - squirt dish detergent on tempting foods - nobody wants to eat soap.
When someone says hurtful things - exclaim "OUCH!!!" and walk away. Most people are shocked and shut up. T
Any time we change, our relationships change. People like the status quo and will react/behave in odd ways to keep things the same. It takes time for folks to catch up to the change - remember we have been working really hard for a long time to see results. Sometimes our weight loss success is a magnifying glass of their failures & insecurities. Love them! Bless them and forgive them for being human.
Silently chant/think.....THANK YOU!! Your opinion/concern/ignorance/indifference gives me the courage, strength & resolve to keep going. Thank you for reminding me, I love ME more than your opinion. THANK YOU!!0 -
@aggelikik I'm 5'2 I'm not really trying to lose quickly, I have felt good with what I've been eating but she always says that if you lose wight by counting you will gain it back.
0 -
I've started and failed so many times it got to where I could practically hear people rolling their eyes when I mentioned my new diet plans. I keep it to myself now, share only with MFP pals.0
-
sugarcoated2015 wrote: »@aggelikik I'm 5'2 I'm not really trying to lose quickly, I have felt good with what I've been eating but she always says that if you lose wight by counting you will gain it back.
Is she a doctor or dietitian? No? Then I would say her opinion doesn't really count for much.
0 -
happygalah wrote: »Yes, my husband. ugh.
I have lost a total of 43 lbs since I started losing weight and he has not said one word, not a one.
He said well he sees me everyday but seriously how do you not notice someone has gone from a size 18 to a 10?
He also complained I was too happy.
Have you ever seen The Other Guys? Theres a part where Will Ferrell explains why he is so mean to his wife. Something like if he admits she's beautiful, and kind and wonderful that she might start realizing it too and leave him (I haven't seen the movie in a while, so I'm paraphrasing). I think he thinks if he gives you praise, your ego will inflate and you'll leave him for someone hotter. You may want to have a chat with him, or consider marriage counseling or something. This doesnt sit right, he should be happy for you.
Honestly, I don't really tell people I'm losing weight. I'll let them bring it up. I have a feeling that a lot of the negativity is from people who arent happy, but dont want to do anything about it, instead using their energy on being jealous. I don't have room for negativity. If the person will be happy for you usually they're start with "you look great!" or "have you lost weight?".0 -
happygalah wrote: »Yes, my husband. ugh.
I have lost a total of 43 lbs since I started losing weight and he has not said one word, not a one.
He said well he sees me everyday but seriously how do you not notice someone has gone from a size 18 to a 10?
He also complained I was too happy.
What a terrible attitude he has to your success.
Keep going, you're doing so well!
0 -
happygalah wrote: »Yes, my husband. ugh.
I have lost a total of 43 lbs since I started losing weight and he has not said one word, not a one.
He said well he sees me everyday but seriously how do you not notice someone has gone from a size 18 to a 10?
He also complained I was too happy.
No such thing as being too happy! Your joy comes from within. Shine on Beautiful!
0 -
sugarcoated2015 wrote: »Man I don't know why people can't try to be happy for you or encourage you to keep working hard.I excitedly told my aunt and showed her my clothes were fitting looser and she was like "yeah yeah you already told me.whatever." and god forbid I get a headache or a stomache because she automatically says that it's because of the diet.
I just feel like people never like seeing others feel good like why all the hate??
The thing I thought of was maybe she doesn't want to hear about it anymore. You said she responded with "you already told me." I had a friend that was doing really well with her dietary changes and I got sick of hearing her talk about it. Maybe your aunt has reached the point that she's heard enough?
Whatever the reason, perhaps it is best to just not bring it up with her anymore if you don't want to hear her complain. Some people will be negative no matter the situation.0 -
It's sad that the people closest to us can't be supportive of our successes.
My closest friend has been supportive, my next closest friend makes nice comments (calls me "slim" LOL!), my
mom says she likes the changes, my doctors & their staff are all happy with the changes.
I'm lucky to not have experienced serious discouragement. I've gotten a couple comments (from the same person,
not a relative, and I don't put much stock in his opinion re: my weight) that I'm skinny enough already. I'm still 25
lb over the top of a healthy BMI range. Not stopping 'til I get there.
The only real discouragement I've gotten was from my doctor, who thought that my goal of 165 wasn't attainable.
Um, excuse me, that's only 10 lb under the top of a healthy BMI for my height, and I'd still be well toward the top
of the range.
Once I get there, I'll see how I feel & look. Might maintain, might lose a little more. Don't know yet.
Nice way to rub a little salt into her wound lol
People who cut you down for your achievements, especially family, are toxic. Sorry I know that's an overused word right now, but it's the right one. Don't talk to these idiots about your goals. They *are* being idiots, and they will try to pull you down so they don't feel as badly about their own failures.
Find some supportive friends. You deserve some pats on the back and some encouragement.
0 -
Just my 2 cents......
Do you want pie/ice cream/bread etc.? No is a complete sentence! Please respect my no. To avoid hurt feelings at family events: Dear Auntie, Mom, Dad, Sis you make the best cake, pie, cookies, etc, no thank you I'm full may I take some home for later. You don't need to tell them it is going in the trash.
Offer to help clean the kitchen - squirt dish detergent on tempting foods - nobody wants to eat soap.
When someone says hurtful things - exclaim "OUCH!!!" and walk away. Most people are shocked and shut up. T
Any time we change, our relationships change. People like the status quo and will react/behave in odd ways to keep things the same. It takes time for folks to catch up to the change - remember we have been working really hard for a long time to see results. Sometimes our weight loss success is a magnifying glass of their failures & insecurities. Love them! Bless them and forgive them for being human.
Silently chant/think.....THANK YOU!! Your opinion/concern/ignorance/indifference gives me the courage, strength & resolve to keep going. Thank you for reminding me, I love ME more than your opinion. THANK YOU!!
This is a great post. It made me stop and think......you're right people DON'T like change from the status quo, my husband of 20 years is packing his things and moving out. He is convinced that I am doing this for some random lover that apparently I've picked up and not for myself. It's been horrible but I think you are right, I should be saying "thank-you"0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »I had a friend who was like that ALL THE TIME about EVERYTHING. She was depressed and in a crappy place so she wanted to drag down others--not consciously.
I mostly ignored it. Eventually, she got un-depressed (looong story, not relevant) and she stopped trying to tear successful people down and started to get ambitious herself.
Oh gosh yes, this sounds like my husband.
0 -
sugarcoated2015 wrote: »@happygalah sorry that your husband does that, like others say, maybe he has issues he hasn't taken care of etc.
@aggelikik I weigh 169 and am 18, I eat like 1200 cal daily, sometimes a little less sometimes a little more.She just thinks that one is starving if one doesn't eat bread or tortillas.
Thanks. It's sounds like you are doing great with your weight loss. I would try to ignore the best you can. The nice thing about getting to your goal is that people will get used to it and they won't bother you anymore about it. It will just be normal to them.0 -
Have you ever seen The Other Guys? Theres a part where Will Ferrell explains why he is so mean to his wife. Something like if he admits she's beautiful, and kind and wonderful that she might start realizing it too and leave him (I haven't seen the movie in a while, so I'm paraphrasing). I think he thinks if he gives you praise, your ego will inflate and you'll leave him for someone hotter. You may want to have a chat with him, or consider marriage counseling or something. This doesnt sit right, he should be happy for you.
Honestly, I don't really tell people I'm losing weight. I'll let them bring it up. I have a feeling that a lot of the negativity is from people who arent happy, but dont want to do anything about it, instead using their energy on being jealous. I don't have room for negativity. If the person will be happy for you usually they're start with "you look great!" or "have you lost weight?".
No, I haven't seen it but what you are saying makes so much sense. He has never been one to give me any type of compliment. His friends have said I was his hot trophy wife.
He is the only one who knows I am losing weight, well besides my doctor. I kinda had to tell him since the trigger for starting the weight loss was a trip to the hospital.
It does make me mad as I was not well at all and all this hard work has made me healthy and feel 100% better. He should be at least happy for my improved health.
0 -
It's sad that most of us wanna share with our relatives but they just don't want ro know, people at the workplace seem to do the same, especially if they are the same gender as one.0
-
sugarcoated2015 wrote: »It's sad that most of us wanna share with our relatives but they just don't want ro know, people at the workplace seem to do the same, especially if they are the same gender as one.
You're literally on a site where people want to talk about this stuff all day.
My suggestion, make some more MFPals and leave your family and friends out of it, if they don't wanna. It may really just be about interests at that point - no need to force the issue
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.5K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 391 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 923 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions