Playing catch up and just some general thoughts

Sometimes by the end of a couple of days or by the end of the week I feel as if I have such a big calorie deficit that I just can't catch up. I track my calories daily (aside from this past weekend where I de-railed! LOL). I sometimes look at the average of the week as well and find that I'm down so far there's no way I could eat enough to fill the gap between what I've burned and where I'm supposed to be. Not a bad thing really. I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this.

I de-railed myself over the weekend! I ate fairly clean and healthy, but I ate a lot. More than I normally do. It was ok... I mean I didn't stuff myself but I went over my calorie target that's for sure. I didn't log my dinner on Saturday, we went out for sushi YUM, and I had a bunch of sashimi and low carb rolls like always, but I also had regular maki sushi rolls. It was delicious and comforting. I rationalized by say "I lifted today" so I can use the extra carbs and calories haha! By the end of the day I had burned 1800 calories in exercise and even though I didn't log my dinner I'm sure I broke even for the day. Yesterday was different... Took my dad for a fathers day brunch, at mainly proteins (except for the waffle) , then later in the evening had fish tacos and chicken wings. I never eat that stuff! I only had around 800 to 900 calories burned through exercise but I'm sure I went over my target. I wasn't totally accurate with logging. I was looking at my diary for the past couple of weeks vs. the past couple of days. It's like two different people!

In a way it's good and healthy to take a day or two off sometimes. I feel that my body/mind/weight loss/maintenenace benefits from that. But at the same time I feel so gross! my body isn't used to that and my mind says "WTF"! haha

I know that one day of overeating won't cause significant weight gain just like one day of calorie restriction won't cause significant weight loss. But after having done this for so long it just feels very odd to break out of the habit of clean eating, logging and restricting.

I remember a couple of years ago when I would eat like that all the time. I'd think nothing of having a bagel sandwich for breakfast, coffee with extra cream and sugar, a big sub for lunch with chips and a soda, I'd eat the sweets in the afternoon or grab a bag of chips for a snack, then I'd either cook a giant meal (Have a little bread with your pasta!) or we would order a pizza or chinese food or go out to eat. I can't even guess at how many calories per day I used to eat without any exercise at all! Oh my... I feel like I was a totally different person back then and can't imagine ever going back to that!

Oh well... back to my "new" normal self today

Anyway, just some things on my mind that I wanted to get out in the open. Feel free to read, comment, ignore, etc.