Socializing Is Ruining My Diet!

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Skinny100
Skinny100 Posts: 77
in Health and Weight Loss
I get invited to a lot of social outings that involve a lot of food. Dinner parties, brunch/dinner with friends, etc. This is during the week as well as weekends. I try to make a diet for myself, but then I really start to lose momentum when I know that I have to break my diet and have something fatty at a friends house on Saturday. I don't want to give up my social life, but I feel like it makes it very difficult to focus on my diet. Also, many of the people I know are food-pushers. How do you turn them down without seeming rude? I only have about 20 lbs to lose, and I don't always feel comfortable telling people I'm on a diet. Does anyone else have this issue? Any advice?

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  • Barneystinson
    Barneystinson Posts: 1,357 Member
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    Just say "no thank you" and move on. They'll get over it and probably will learn in time to stop pushing food.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    There's a lot of folks - myself included - who'll eat well during the week and allow themselves one meal (or evening) over the weekend where they don't give a damn about calories. It hasn't harmed my progress towards my goals.
  • sam23030
    sam23030 Posts: 76
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    I'm in exactly the same boat, I don't have much to lose and a lot of the people I tell I am on a diet to, say you don't need to lose weight and don't take it seriously.

    I have dinner at a friends house once a week and am out or have people round almost every weekend. So far the only way I have found to suceed is to eat extra well earlier on in the day and get in some exercise so I can have a larger calorie intake. I will usually eat the dinner and turn down desert as well as trying to take a smaller portion if given the option.

    When we have people to ours, I tend to buy things like crisps in flavours I don't really like so I'm not tempted by them and make favourite foods but lower calorie, such as pizzas but with low fat cheese or mozarella on and chicken instead of pepporoni.

    When it comes to alcohol I usually take my own and try to stick to something lower calories such as vodka, diet lemonade and lime cordial.

    Good luck, if you find a way to do it, let me know!!
  • rfcollins33
    rfcollins33 Posts: 630
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    You have to stop worrying about them and start worrying about you. A lot of times it actually is people trying to sabotage you. I had a friend who'd I'd been talking about losing weight with and right after that, she buys me an ice cream while she was in store. I told her no and refused to eat it, I wasn't rude, but straight forward. Then there's people who don't have problems with weight and don't see why you can't eat it and be 90lbs like them. Then there are just people who are trying to be nice and offer. Either of these three, you still need to be able to say no while being straightforward but not just mean. That can be achieved with a short and simple "No, thank you." If they keep pushing, just say, "I am watching what I eat and have already eaten something healthy, so I'm good. Thanks"
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
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    bump
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    If you are really with a pushy person tell them you are allergic or are being allergy tested so you can't have *fill in the blank*. Nothing slows down a pushy person like allergic reactions, thats also what I tell people when I order food so they won't screw up my order haha.
  • LushLoni
    LushLoni Posts: 161 Member
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    Why don't you try instigating social events that don't have to be about food? Go shopping, and get a coffee or a healthy salad together, or even say you can make a lunch but could meet a bit later for a drink and catch up?

    If I'm doing something on the hop I buy a low-calorie wrap that I can eat on my way there and I only drink water when I'm out. There is an annoying stigma attached to not drinking (i.e. people think you're no fun now) but once they get over it and realise that you still are the pressure is off.

    Food pushers I find really grotesquely annoying - a guy at work always throws chocolate at me or empties half a packet of crisps/nuts on my desk when I say "No I'm okay thank you", so I've taken to just leaving the food where he's left it until he finally feels a bit silly and comes and takes it off my desk - but it's SO rude. My flatmate also knows I'm trying to eat healthily and she keeps offering me wine, or chocolate n stuff, I'm like "NO thank you" through gritted teeth... I guess they don't know what impact they are having by doing it but wowzer it winds me up.
  • luv2ash
    luv2ash Posts: 1,903 Member
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    If you truly want to socialize, then by all means you should go to the event---but you have to remember its not about the food! it is about you enjoying the company of the other people you are around. Think of food as fuel and not as pleasure. Never go hungry. And just because you go to an event like that, does not mean that you HAVE to eat. Who cares what other people think if you don't eat something----its your body, not theirs.
  • SusanMcAvoy
    SusanMcAvoy Posts: 445 Member
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    I was asked just yesterday to meet some friends for dinner and drinks. I turned them down by letting them know I am on a diet. I feel bad but I have been working too hard. As it is I have to go to a graduation party at an Italian restaurant on Saturday and do not want to go but have to. Italian food is loaded with calories and so is the wine that I'll be drinking. I won't go out again for at least a few weeks. Good luck on your journey.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    Eat before you go to these outings. That way if you do grab something you won't over eat. If these are close friends of your then you should be able to tell them that you've changed your eating habits. Of course don't mention it at the last minute but during general convo. When they ask hey what have you been up to....oh not much I've just been going to the gym and I've revamped my eating habits...I'm just trying to live more healthier.They may add a salad to their menu or something else to accommodate you.

    My family and friends know that I have changed my lifestyle for the better (I'm not on a diet) so they aren't offended if I decline their offering. I sometimes bring my own food or they will have something on the menu that I can eat if they know I'm coming.

    I've come to the point that this is me. I eat what I want when I REALLY want it. I don't just put something in my mouth because its being offered and I don't want to be rude. So if its something you REALLY want to it then eat it. If its not then eat before so that you aren't hungry when you get there.
  • peacehawk
    peacehawk Posts: 421 Member
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    I've found that when I am with friends, they tend to be supportive when I tell them I'm watching what I eat. They are getting used to me pulling out my android to enter in food before I eat anything to see how much I can get away with for that meal. Also, have you tried having the gatherings at your house,where you can control the menu? Maybe offering to bring the salad or a side dish would help you to have some control over what is laid out before you. I know that some people equate fod with love, and providing food as providing love. Providing healthy food is a way to show love for yourself and your friends. There are all kinds of yumy things you can offer to bring~ fruit and a yogurt/honey dipping sauce for dessert, raw veggies for before the meal, whole grain crusty bread, baked sweet potatoes, baked apples, meat for grilling, etc. Often it makes the gathering more fun to cook together, skewer your own kabobs or make personal pizzas or tacos. Offer to be an active participant in the food preparation to make it fun, delicious and healthier for you and your friends. When they see your gourmet, simple fare, they may start liking it better and join your food bandwagon without feeling deprived. Have fun and good luck :-)
  • DESIREE1210
    DESIREE1210 Posts: 177 Member
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    Oh can I relate to this. Were in a motorcycle club and we have parties every weekend, tons of food and drinking. Most times I have diet coke and a piece of turkey sub or something. It kills me not having all the goodies and some cold beers.
  • BrayyNicole
    BrayyNicole Posts: 56 Member
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    I COMPLETELY know where you are coming from. Especially since my MAVS have been in the playoff beast mode, my mother likes to invite me out for a little pre-game happy hour. I rarely get to see her, so this is a time for us to catchup during the week. ALCOHOL + HIGH SODIUM, HIGH CALORIE, HIGH FAT FOODS = failure. Ive tried so many times to just order the necessary..

    This last time was actually a success story for me..

    Before I left to meet my mother at Zenna's (happy hour heaven :love: ) I made sure to eat something so that when I got there I wouldnt be entirely too hungry. Also, I uped my water intake a bunch that day and the day before.. So, when I got to the restaurant, I only ordered Yakitori Chicken (which is basically a chicken tenderloin on a skewer with sauce) and had one alcoholic beverage which was vodka tonic with 2 fresh squeezed limes.. After I ordered, I gave the menu to the server and that was it! Yay :blushing: When I got home, I felt awesome and a little less guilty..

    Hope my success story gave you some advice! Good luck at the next social gathering!
  • RNewton4269
    RNewton4269 Posts: 663 Member
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    Bring your own food! That has worked for me. Good luck to you!
  • Chrissle
    Chrissle Posts: 46 Member
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    I'm exactly the same way! It isn't from people pushing food on me though, it is from my own weakness...I do well when we go out to eat, for the most part, but the beer gets me every time. :)
  • lipglossjunky73
    lipglossjunky73 Posts: 497 Member
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    I always eat a high protein and high fiber snack before any get together where food will be the main focus.

    As for food pushers, he are some things you can say:

    You can simply say you aren't hungry. That you ate before you left because you were starving, and now you're still full.
    You discovered you have food allergies and your doctor wants you to start eliminate certain foods
    You can tell people you get a bad reaction to certain foods. For example, I personally get bad reactions with dairy, and with foods that have too much oil. I get bad stomach issues. I have no problem telling people that.
    You can say you aren't a big fan of (whatever food it is). But you would love to try (insert healthier food option here)
    Or.... If you are at a party, or a gathering in someone's home, load up your plate. I find people don't both me as long as the is tons of food on my plate. And then nibble. Its a waste, but I'd rath waste food than gain weight!
  • stuffinmuffin
    stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
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    I totally know how this feels, I have the same, and get the funny looks when I'm sat there with a diet coke and a salad! I only have ten pounds now to shift so some of my friends are bigger than me and this makes it worse.

    Some solutions I've found are....
    Going to a friends for lunch I'll offer to buy a portion of the meal...i.e. the meat, so I'll get some nice cuts of fish or something, and generally always take a salad for everyone.

    Research restaurant menus, quite a lot of the chain restaurants have their nutrition online. I've become a big fan of Pizza Express for this reason and you can get in and out of there (and the best bit - eat pizza) for less than 600 cals if you want.

    Also the usual trick of saving calories throughout the day - I do this especially if I'm going to be drinking. Beginning to begrudge my precious calories going on the booze sometimes but man cannot live on water alone! ; )

    ...and finally totally agree with the poster who mentioned have the odd blow out. It's essentially a lifestyle change and we still have to enjoy and get involved in occasions that involve food and drink - so enjoy it, don't feel guilty and carry on normal afterwards!
  • Skinny100
    Skinny100 Posts: 77
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    Wow!!! Thank you so much everyone! Great advice :)

    I think I'll have what I think is a good portion for me and then just say "No thank you" to the rest.

    Maybe I can ask my host if they have an herbal tea instead of having dessert. Or I can ask for dessert to go and give it to my hubby :)

    I get so annoyed when people look at what I've put on my plate and tell me to take more, lol. I try to avoid red meat b/c my family has a high rate of high cholesterol, and mine is perfect so far (thank God!), but some people just keep pushing and pushing, lol. For one particular friend, I feel like it's her own insecurity for eating too much, so she has to make me try everything on the menu.

    I'll try to be more firm and remember that they shouldn't equate my love to how much of their food I eat, lol.

    I think it would help to eat very slow as well. I think if you finish your plate before everyone else, the host sees an empty plate that needs filling!

    Thanks again for the tips everyone!!

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