HELPPPPPPP!!!!!

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EAT0023
EAT0023 Posts: 23 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need some serious support, motivation and advice right now. I recently moved (6 months ago) to a new state, and to this day my boyfriend has been my only friend and workout buddy since the move. Saturday he left for a week long(9 day) trip with his dad and i am here all alone. I am eating like crazy and i cant seem to find the same motivation and drive i have when he is around . He is a personal trainer and really entourages me, which helps be tremendously with staying on track with our work outs and eat right (most of the time). Not having him around is proving to be very difficult and being in a town with no friends or family is lonely. I don't workout as hard at the gym, and i have eat 2x the calories everyday that i would usually be eating. I know its because i am stressed and feeling slightly alone, but that is just an excuse. I need to learn how to stay motivated for myself and not let little hangups like this get me down. The last thing i want is for my boyfriend to come home to a 10 pound heavier girlfriend. Please anyone who has advice or just wants to be my accountability buddy for the next week (or forever, lol) please feel free to reply or PM me. Thanks!

Replies

  • greenheadhunter
    greenheadhunter Posts: 19 Member
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    May I ask a question that might help?
  • MelvinMissa
    MelvinMissa Posts: 2 Member
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    My boyfriend just grabs my fat but then tells me I don't need to lose weight. I'll help support u
  • EAT0023
    EAT0023 Posts: 23 Member
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    greenheadhunter wrote: »
    May I ask a question that might help?
    Sure.
  • Sapphiretransformed
    Sapphiretransformed Posts: 15 Member
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    I hear where you're coming from. It's not easy doing it alone. I'm here for you. I think of my goal body and use that as a motivation. Nice and toned and I follow ppl on ig that also help me stay focused. I tell myself that the small cheats are not worth it. One cheat meal once a week is OK. I know that I have dedication but sometimes I fail. If you need a push add me
  • debubbie
    debubbie Posts: 767 Member
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    You may want to see if there are running or workout groups in your area that you can join to help you find some friends in your area that have similar workout goals to yours. This way you have some workout buddies in case he has to take trips like this again and friends that can help you get acclimated to the new area.
  • EAT0023
    EAT0023 Posts: 23 Member
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    debubbie wrote: »
    You may want to see if there are running or workout groups in your area that you can join to help you find some friends in your area that have similar workout goals to yours. This way you have some workout buddies in case he has to take trips like this again and friends that can help you get acclimated to the new area.
    Thats a great idea. There is a local hiiing meet up, i just need to put myself out there and join. I am kinda shy, so i have that working against me. Something i am working on too.


  • EAT0023
    EAT0023 Posts: 23 Member
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    EAT0023 wrote: »
    debubbie wrote: »
    You may want to see if there are running or workout groups in your area that you can join to help you find some friends in your area that have similar workout goals to yours. This way you have some workout buddies in case he has to take trips like this again and friends that can help you get acclimated to the new area.
    Thats a great idea. There is a local hiiing meet up, i just need to put myself out there and join. I am kinda shy, so i have that working against me. Something i am working on too.

    hiking


  • greenheadhunter
    greenheadhunter Posts: 19 Member
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    EAT0023 wrote: »
    greenheadhunter wrote: »
    May I ask a question that might help?
    Sure.

    I recently discovered similar about myself and found that I found my value and who I was in my spouse. . I had no identity of my own, hence when she was gone I stressed out and ate and didn't take care of myself.. I also discovered I only did exercise and healthy eating for her. Not myself. I began to examine myself and realized I was extremely addicted to my spouse... And not in a healthy was.. Like a very codependent way. Maybe a good question to ask yourself might be why do you not consider yourself as being enough to take care of yourself. O hope you receive this as a positive effect encouragement but maybe from a different angle.

    I hope you get on track like you have asked.

    Go for it!

    Lee
  • greenheadhunter
    greenheadhunter Posts: 19 Member
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    Sorry for the typos
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    See if you can surprise him with weight loss! :)
  • rbiss
    rbiss Posts: 422 Member
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    Join Meetup and start talking to people. Also, you need to motivate yourself. If it comes from another person, you won't be able to stand alone. Really try to be independent and make friends the next few months. While he is away this week, get out of the house too. Even if you're hiking alone, your being active and not eating. Good luck!
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    That was a fun trick for me. It got me to lose an inch in my waist while he was gone...and got me that much closer to my final goal.
  • karmagirl71
    karmagirl71 Posts: 4 Member
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    I agree with greenheadhunter. Until I learned that *I* am worth the effort, any change I made for someone else wasn't sustainable. When my partner is away on business, I think of it as extra time to take care of myself without feeling bad for not spending time with him. Now I actually do more when he's away. I take the time to cook food I want, do the exercises I never have time for, and whatnot. He's leaving for ten days next week, and I've put repairing my bike tire on his to-do list so I can get out on my bike while he's away. But if I'm feeling unmotivated while he's away, I text him my goals for the next day because I know he'll ask about them and I want to be able to say I achieved them.

    And debubbie's idea is a great one. Getting out with like-minded people can be so energizing.

    I believe you can do this. It's hard, I know, but in the end, it comes down to you being worth the effort, and you really are. :smile:
  • lorelei68
    lorelei68 Posts: 30 Member
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    If you are working out in a gym, maybe try something different such as a group class? It could open a few doors for friends with similar interests while you chat during class. Also, look for a volunteer opportunity with a local organization, it would get you away from the house and again meet more people. Put yourself out there! Good luck!
  • EAT0023
    EAT0023 Posts: 23 Member
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    Thanks you all so much! I went to the gym today, alone, but got an excellent workout. I do need to learn how to be more positively independent and find drive with in myself. I will look up the local meetup and be a part of something. Also i think that losing weight during the next week is an great idea. I would love fo m bf to notice improvements in me. Thanks everyone!
  • greenheadhunter
    greenheadhunter Posts: 19 Member
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    Good luck with your week and journey
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    weight loss should be done for you anyways. it's nice to do it for someone else too but essentially it needs to be done for you to stick.

    you can look for meetups or you can get out there and hike and enjoy the solitude too. or walk around the neighborhood and say hi to the neighbors that are outside.
  • EAT0023
    EAT0023 Posts: 23 Member
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    I have always done it for myself, but its good for me to have a "buddy" through it. We all have had our ups and downs with our fitness journeys, and it is nice to have a certain some one you can be open and honest with about the struggles. Thats what my bf is, and so much more. Thanks everyone for the support and time to reply. It means alot.

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