Please Help!

Lattiuss · June 2015

I'm at my wits end and just don't know what to do. I'm so close to giving up :-( I'm really really hoping there's someone out there who can relate to me and teach me how to overcome this detrimental feeling.

I'm a 31 year old woman, and I've been overweight my entire life, to the point of very obese (230lbs at 5'7''). Some how I found motivation three years ago, and went on a very restrictive diet and got down to 168. Now, three years later, I was back to 195. I've been yo-yoing from 175-195 for two years now. I was 175 for my wedding 11 months ago, and now I've gained 20 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!

Crash dieting wasn't working, so 5 weeks ago, I decided to try the old fashioned way of diet and exercise. I went from not working out or doing any kind of activity (5 weeks ago) to doing some kind of activity 5-6 times a week, so I'm very active now. However in these 5 weeks, I've only lost 3 lbs, because I cannot get my diet under control!!!! I'm just so frustrated I could scream!

Please someone help me!!! I dread cooking. Drawing up a menu and going grocery shopping is my most hated chore :-( How am I supposed to lose weight if I can't stand cooking? What does anyone suggest??? I'm so torn between the easy way (eating out and frozen food) and the healthy way (organic). I managed to eat organic for about 5 days 5 weeks ago and I noticed I felt really good! Why isn't that feeling powerful enough to motivate myself to feel like that every day?!?!

I'm terrified of the winter when I shut down. I hate the weather so much, that I'm not motivated to do any kind of activity, and if I can't figure out a diet/ meal plan, I'm really screwed.

Please, please please, if any of you out there have any positive thoughts, comments, or help, I am ALL EARS.

Thank you,
Kendra

icandothis5769 · June 2015

Are you addicted to carbs? Try high protein low carb. It will help with the cravings. You could try the carbohydrate addict diet. Limiting my carbs only to the evening really helps me.

bpetrosky · June 2015

First things first: weight loss starts in the kitchen. Gym time is for fitness, but only helps weight loss when you have your diet under control.

You've already gone the crash diet route, and you know that doesn't work. So you're here. That's good.

If you really hate cooking, your job is harder because it is more difficult to keep track of your calories from a lot of restaurant food. You end up making guesses, and often the portions are too big for your needs.

Organic isn't necessary for weight loss. Calories are what you need to concern yourself with first. Macros (protein, carbs, fats) are next. You can work out what proportions work best for your needs.

Does anyone in your family enjoy cooking? Maybe you can look into a service like Blue Apron, which delivers the ingredients to you in the right proportions. You still have to cook them, but it can take away some of the stress of shopping at the King Soopers.

You do have to decide which way works best for you, but there's a lot of ways to make it work. If you're willing to stretch yourself a little bit, it gives you even more options.

Good luck

kimny72 · June 2015

OP, you don't need to eat organic, or a specific diet, or spend hours cooking gourmet meals to lose weight. Just put your stats into MFP, and eat the calories it gives you. Eating more veggies and lean protein helps many people fill up without eating over their goal, but everyone is different and you need to find what works for you.

Something that may help - eat the way you are most comfortable and log that food for several days to see how many calories you eat. Then look back and do some analysis - how many calories do you need to cut to get to your goal? Are there specific foods or meals that are taking up more calories than they are worth? See where your calories are going so you know where to start.

I find frozen veggies, cooked rotisserie chicken from the deli section, canned tuna, eggs, and bagged salad greens are a great help for filling out meals with manageable calories. Just find what works for you and BE PATIENT. Read the sticky posts at the top of each forum category, they are really helpful. Good luck :drinker:

Psychgrrl · June 2015

Welcome to My Fitness Pal and the Message Boards!

Don't give up! If you do, things will never change. You're here, you want to be healthier, that's a HUGE step!

Here are some key MFP posts to get you started, in case you haven't seen them:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177907/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177910/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads#latest

Take a deep breath and take a look. We've all been where you are. Some of us will probably be there again. It takes time, effort and patience to find that healthier you. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Know you're in it for the long haul and commit. You've got lots of support here!

I'm not a cook. I own three frying pans and a pasta pot. And a lot of pyrex. And a blender. I make a lot of stuff in the microwave, including most of my lunches I take to work (protein and veggie, sometimes a carb).

Try tweaking your macros and make sure you're getting enough healthy fat, protein and fiber. These can help control hunger and the protein can help prevent muscle loss when you're losing weight. Weight all slid foods and measure all liquids so you know how many calories you're consuming. This includes packaged foods like bread.

Cut yourself some slack, nobody's perfect and no one figures this out overnight. Or in a week or month. It takes time, but it's soon worth it!

hstull82 · June 2015

I can relate in so many ways! You are not alone. I've had to overcome a lot of health issues and it has taken a lot of hard work, & patience to get to where I am today. I will add you as a friend so we can give each other support. I am a daily logger with an open diary. You might find some food ideas if you take a peek. I am gluten free because it has helped me tremendously with my health issues and I eat a lot of the same healthy easy foods everyday. I know you can do this...I believe in you! -Heather

seeingthelight · June 2015

Start simple. Breakfast, a dish of cereal or greek yogurt or an egg and toast, or peanut butter toast with fruit for breakfast. A salad or sandwich with some baby carrots and or fruit for lunch. A chicken breast or pork chop or small steak with frozen veggies and a sweet potato for dinner. I generally eat the same things for breakfast and lunch and add a little variety at dinner. I try to get in 5 fruits and vegetables a day and a good source of protein at each meal.

As to shopping - my favorite grocery store is Meijers so I look at their ad on Thursday or Friday - decide what I want to eat, try to use as many sale items as possible and shop over the weekend for the coming week. EAT BEFORE YOU SHOP or you will come home with a lot of garbage food.

Then-- I find I am most successful if I decide what I am going to eat for the day while I am eating breakfast and log it, staying within my calorie range. When I have eaten all the food I have logged, I am done eating. I do add in food to cover some of my exercise calories- usually a treat like pudding or ice-cream(small amounts) .

This really works for me -when I do it- unfortunately I get complacent and stop logging and gain weight. I never had a weight problem until I hit my 30's and then I was surprised to discover I could no longer eat whatever I wanted and continue to get into my clothes.... Unfortunately I repeatedly forget this awful truth and have a go at candy and ice cream and anything else that catches my eye. Believe me it gets harder and harder to drop the weight- so do it now!

I recently had a BD and decided THIS IS THE YEAR --I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT(THUS THE NAME)-- and I plan to log into this site everyday I have access to the internet- it is the only way.

Good luck to you.

Merkavar · June 2015

This might be the wrong idea here but why do you feel a need to cook?

Start by eating what you used to eat, just less of it. Did you eat frozen food (requires some cooking doesn't it) and take away. Maybe try eating the same foods but cut back. Like for me I used to polish off a whole pizza, no trouble for dinner, now if I have pizza I eat half a pizza for like 600 cals.

Maybe start cooking simple meals, like minimal ingredients, simple recipes.

By cooking do you mean something like a shepards pie which has like 10 ingredients and like 2 different cooking methods. Or do you also hate simple cooking like boiling an egg or making mash potatoes.

I think you may be working your self into failure by have high or unrealistic expectations and assumptions.

You seem to have tried restrictive diets and found they don't work and then you created your own restrictive diet that consists of organic foods and spending hours in the kitchen cooking.

Use the KISS method

Keep it simple, stupid!

triciab79 · June 2015

I hate doing groceries and planning basic meals (I like to cook but only bad stuff like cookies and pies). Its my chore though along with the cooking for the house so I have a set day that I plan and shop and I have a set schedule for making everyone's breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I hate to say this but you are 31 years old and sometimes you need to do things that you don't like doing. Its called being a grown up. Start by clearing every single easy high calorie item out of your house. Ban yourself from visiting fast food. Only keep items within reach that either require cooking or are low calorie and can be eaten as is (like veggies, lunch meat, berries, ect). Its like credit cards. They are fun to charge up and live like there is no tomorrow but at some point you have to pay for it. This bill is due and this is how you pay. Good Luck!

LKArgh · June 2015

You do nto need to cook organic, build 5 course menus or spend hours in the kitchen cooking to eat "better" or to lose weight. You need to figure out if you are eating too much (as in too large portions) or food too dense in calories, or both. Log your meals for a couple of weeks to figure out what the problem is, if you do nto already know. Then figure out what to do: eat smaller portions, figure out alternatives with lower calories?
If you believe you have limited choices because you hate cooking, then you need to figure out better choices when buying prepackaged food (a premade salad, fruit, yoghurt etc are all low calorie options and do not need cooking or any preparation), be more careful when ordering meals (set a realistic calorie goal and check calories before ordering) and learn to do some basic meal planning and preparation, which does not necesserily mean cooking: preplanning what you will have for meals and snacks (even you do not cook any of them) is all that it takes. And if thsi is getting too hard or not affordable, there are basic recipes that literally take 10 minutes max to prepare and have very few ingredients, like omelettes, scrambled eggs, sandwiches, pasta, grilled meat or fish.

terbusha · June 2015

I take the simple approach. I do flexible dieting, which is basically eating the foods I like in a way that I hit my calorie, macro, and fiber goals for the day. I eat a bunch of fruits and veggies, but I still allow myself to have treat foods every now and then. It's good for the mentality of healthy eating. If 85% of your diet is healthy, the 15% will not stop your progress, especially when you stick to your calorie goal.

It's a journey. Work on consistency over the long term. That's where you'll win at this. You don't need to be perfect. You need consistency.

If you're on Facebook, I help to run a great support and accountability group on Facebook for people looking to improve their health and fitness. It's just a bunch of people supporting and encouraging each other to make progress towards their goals. It's an awesome community. If you're interested in it, I'd be glad to chat with you about it. We also have a 4 week bootcamp where we give you a meal plan and some short workouts to help you get started.

Let me know if that sounds like something you'd be interested in.

conniehgtv · June 2015

I buy staples that are easy
potatoe in microwave with ICBINbutter or yogurt or ffsour cream
hummus is good to have on hand dip with crackers or pretzels
mix hummus with tuna and relish on lettuce wrap
frozen diet pizza
olives
nuts
I also find a good salad bar in my grocery and fill 5 or six containers 1/2 full of different ingredents (onion, peppers ,sprouts)(olives celery blue cheese) then buy a bag of spinach or lettuce to fill out
yogurt and cottage cheese are good meals
Good Luck!!

leggup · June 2015

Although it's great that you're active, if you rely on your activity to create a calorie deficit, you're going to have a hard time consistently losing weight. You don't have to eat all organic, all fresh, all meal-planned. Frozen broccoli is cheap and easy to cook. Frozen 'steam in the bag' veggies are even easier to work with. Seriously. I'm lazy on week days. My dinner takes 5 minutes to cook.

Here's a sample day of mine that is easy, low cooking, and fits my needs. You don't have to cook if you don't want to. I am a vegetarian but even my husband eats my veggie black bean burgers for dinner all the time because they're so easy to microwave and eat.
Breakfast: granola bar / yoghurt
Lunch: Can of lentil soup, bag of crackers. OR veggie chicken burger and a bag of steamers rice and broccoli. (Prep: microwave only)
Snack: fruit OR snackbar OR nuts
Dinner: Protein (veggie burger, fake meat substitute, etc) + bag of steamed veggies + pasta/rice (made in microwave).
Dessert: Chocolate chips mixed with peanut butter, froyo popsicles, chocolate.

I keep a variety of mix-n-match foods in the house, like mozzarella sticks + craisens, hummus + carrots, pecans + swiss cheese, salsa + tortilla chips, indv. mac n cheese cups, canned soup + crackers.

Liftng4Lis · June 2015

Caloric deficit equals weight loss. STOP dieting and make a lifestyle change. It's that simple.

acorsaut89 · June 2015

So biggest thing to know is that you can eat anything you want and drop the pounds, if you portion it correctly. It is possible to lose weight by eating frozen food, and it's possible to gain it by eating "clean" or "healthy".

You have to know that in order to lose you have to burn more than you eat, it's really very much so that simple. If you can't do that then you'll be in trouble.

Eat what you want (I do!!) but portion it. If you can learn to portion control, you'll be golden. It's not easy - very not easy! I was 340lbs at 5'9 so I was BIG! I'm still big at ~260lbs but I think I've done ok all things considered, so far.

You don't have to deprive yourself of the things you like . . . that will lead to binges, usually. You just have to figure out how much of it you can have and fit into your daily calorie goals. Also, as someone else said don't necessarily rely on exercise to create your daily deficit. You should have a deficit if you don't exercise. That being said, your MFP goal has already accounted for some kind of deficit in the number it gives you. That deficit will depend on what you said your goals were (losing 0.5, 1 or 2lbs/week). So if you can eat to your number there then you're at a deficit, provided everything is accurate.

Feel free to add me or reach out if you ever wanna chat - it's not an easy road, by any means, but it's definitely rewarding knowing how hard you've worked.

thelettermegan · June 2015

I'm 32, and I also hate cooking, so in the last year I cooked up a meal plan that involves unprocessed food with very little cooking:

Breakfast: two eggs + dollop of milk scrambled in a mug in the microwave for 2:30, eat with salsa (maybe a couple tortilla chips)

Lunch: pack everything needed for salad creation into bag, bring to work on Monday and leave in company fridge. Make salads for three-four days. Take home on Thursday, go out for lunch on Friday. (It doesn't always work that way, but I usually get about five to six salad days for every two weeks) Also I should note that there's a bit of a trend going on with this now, at least at my company.

Dinner: On Sunday, break out slow cooker, cook up a low carb meat-and-vegetable meal (there's too many on the internet to list here, but it's nice b/c you can dump it into the cooker when you wake up, then go do things that you want to do that do not involve cooking - OH and when you're at the butcher's counter buying two-three pounds of meat, ask them to cube it for you. That makes it way easier.) Stick some in Fridge, some in the freezer. Reheat portions for dinner after work. Another option is baking up several chicken thighs with some spices and olive oil - I leave the skin on! If I have enough time to really "cook", I put a fillet of Tilapia in the broiler with some brussel spouts and olive oil for about five minutes.

Don't bother with pasta. It won't fill you up the way protein and vegetables do. Go with plain nuts or string cheese for snacks. Pumpkin seeds and celery sticks with a little salt and pepper are also nice. Don't eat granola bars. Cut out juice as much as possible. Never ever ever ever ever ever drink pop.

If you haven't done so, watch the documentary "Fed Up", which will scare you off junk food just long enough to kick those twenty pounds - It's certainly working for me!

discretekim · June 2015

3 pounds in five weeks isn't bad. I'm at five weeks and have lost about 4 total. I consider this a success. You are just too used to the crash diets from before. If you want this to stick then it needs to be a lifestyle change and it may very well be slow. That is okay. You might need to work on consistently still, but you should also work at seeing this as progress. You are getting there and doing it properly. It takes time but if your goal is lifelong health then that doesn't mean anything.

mbaker566 · June 2015

try skinny taste. maybe make cooking a family event.

and I so disagree that pasta won't fill you up. mmm pasta.
soda is fine if it fits in your calorie allotment

really, it's all ok so long as it fits in your calorie allotment.

Please Help!

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