Help me

TheCulturedSwine1304
TheCulturedSwine1304 Posts: 5 Member
edited November 2024 in Introduce Yourself
hi, my name is Sylvia. I've always been the heavy one and at 5"7 I topped out at 180 during Junior high. I've struggled with losing weight and being heavy my whole life. I have always been teased about my weight by friends, family and kids at school. When I started high school my weight really became noticable, what with all the skinny girls in school. I became desperate to be thin and turned into a bulimic. I've NEVER told anyone about this. Not my mom, not my best friend, NO ONE.
I lost the weight at an increasing pace and ended up 145 within the month and stopped purging since I was finally thin.
The hardest part is that the temptation to purge is still so real now that I've gained weight after starting college. I don't think I'll ever not be bulimic. The thought is always there and I run back to Mia (bulimia) all the time. I now weigh 170 and everyone has taken notice. Especially my mom. She doesn't know how much I weigh and frankly, I don't want her to know. She says she's going to weight me July 15th and I am terrified of what she'll say.
I want to lose weight so she'll stop giving my looks. I want to lose weight so I can be happy, but most of all I want to lose weight so Mia will leave
me alone.

I need help.

Replies

  • Nthiaan
    Nthiaan Posts: 19 Member
    Hi Sylvia, I know it is very hard after you once started with throwing up to stop doing it. I also am very good in binge eating and throwing it all up afterwards. What they say online is: don't do a too strict diet, because then you will start binge eating again, and throwing up. I still struggling with it, since I am 15 (I am now 23..) I keep gaining weight and losing weight and then gaining weight again. (Also, I never told anyone about it, because it is just not good for you and I didn't wanted to be criticized).
    I once was weighing around 120, now I am back at 187. I have tried the last couple of years so many times to lose weight and I keep failing. Like you, my family is also really criticizing me and looking at me with disgust. They say it is such a shame that I gained all that weight back, how could I do that. And just because of that I am getting sad and eat only more.
    So now I started 5 days ago with dieting, hoping it will work this time. I hope I will not fail this time!

    What kind of help do you want?
  • TheCulturedSwine1304
    TheCulturedSwine1304 Posts: 5 Member
    A friend would be nice. I just feel so gross running at the gym. I feel like everyone is watching me run and I'm not all that great at it either. Do you ever feel like that when you workout?
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