Jabba the Hutt: A story of bullying

I am sorry this is happening to you.

This is about them not you at all and while they called you that name, its not about weight. It makes them feel good to belittle someone to make them feel better about themselves. The bitterness of the small minds of the collective! What type of organisation do you work for?

The social isolation and ganging up is bullying no doubt about it. Is there a team leader or HR person you can take it to. Is there an Acceptable Behaviour (or similar) policy? If not, http://www.workcover.nsw.gov.au/health-and-safety/safety-topics-a-z/bullying - look it up, they will have resources for you

There is also
http://www.fairwork.gov.au/employee-entitlements/bullying-and-harassment

Remember this is not about you and what you are worth....it's totally about them and their total lack of character, ethics and morals.

Does your workplace have an employee assistance program that includes counselling? If so, it would be great for you to get support from there

Please do something about this, do not let it continue any further, ensure these people are held accountable. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect and treated fairly and you should be able to feel comfortable at work, without feeling of being gossiped about or ganged up on.

When I moved back into my old house a neighbor of mine that had not seen me in a long time exclaimed at how fat I had gotten. What she said really bothered me and it was the final straw that would lead to a lot of diet and exercise. I soon realized that what she said didn't bother me because SHE thought I was fat. What she said bothered me because I thought I was fat. But it also caused me to loose 25lbs and get my health together. If my neighbor had said I was too tall it would not have phased me because I like my height. The truth is you have to be happy with you. People will ALWAYS say something bad about you behind your back. Whether it's mean spirited, cruel or just criticism. You can't let what others say determine how you feel about yourself. If your happiness is tethered to the actions and thoughts of people you don't like you will never be happy.
My general rule--- If you are not my friend I assume you are saying something bad about me. May seem negative but I don't let it keep me from smiling.

PS
I think you are a little hottie! What do you think?<--IMPORTANT QUESTION

Jabba the Hutt???? You don't look very big at all.

Print the e-mail and bring it to Human Resources immediately. I work in HR and bullying/harassment is a very serious offense. The individuals who are harassing you need to face the consequences of that type of behaviour. It's totally unacceptable and I'm sorry you've been put in a position where you have to deal with it.

Try your best to let it roll off your shoulder. I noticed that bullies mostly bully to get satisfaction from their victims. In high school I had a guy nickname me UPS(ugly piece of sh--). When I didn't give any reaction when he kept saying it he eventually stopped. Hard toll emotionally though.

Don't let them have that place in your head/heart. They do not deserve your energy. Call your friends that build you up and see you for the great person that you are. Please realize that they are lacking character, not you.

I've no advice beyond what others have said, but I am sorry you have to experience such childish nastiness!

I would probably respond by showing up to work in a Darth Vader mask, but that's just because I'm rude that way.

Unfortunately, because your supervisor / HR are not responding to this other than finger wagging, which is making it worse because now they've been caught out and instead of stopping, they're blaming you, you may feel like your only option may *be* to leave.

The problem is, that's the equivalent of handing over your paycheck because you're being beat up for your coffee money. It won't solve the problem, and it won't leave you feeling very good.

As Primal Girl said with physical evidence, you have the option of going over your supervisor's head, who obviously isn't taking this seriously. You may need to. Not necessarily because you want to get even, but because if you run away, you may never stop running. (Says the girl who tried that route once or twice and realized that running doesn't solve the problem.)

Look, even if your work visa is dependent on a job, the government s not going to stand for clear cut harassment with evidence, because there are laws about that sort of thing.

You are beautiful, and whatever you choose, I hope you find peace and joy and grace and don't let these people break you. They're not worth it. Do what you need to do to nourish your heart.

-Betty-

PrimalGirl wrote: »

Hi
That's absolutely awful, but as someone who works in a law firm I can tell you right now that you have a case - with hard evidence - and you can take your company and those individuals to court. You're being bullied and your manager hasn't done anything about it.
If you threaten legal action, they will have to act - either disciplining or dismissing the people who are bullying you. I know that's a massive step to take, but they probably expect to get away with it because they know you need the job. But you're the one who has the power - your company is legally obliged to deal with this and if they don't, you can sue them.
So take your power back - from them, from their comments. You're beautiful. Now you need to be strong too.
Good luck!

^^^^^^^^^^This!

You mention your visa dependency - from your profile as you are in NSW, I think this is an Aussie visa?
A friend of mine had a bullying (and some other things) case called against her employer when on a non-resident NZ visa. She won and her visa was not directly affected, her lawyer made damn sure of that. Now that was NZ and 10 years ago, but still being on a visa does not mean having to roll over and play dead. You do have rights too, and if the emploer does not protect you they may be liable too.

When I was on my workvisa in NZ I recall that the visa was transferable in certain circumstances. You can call the immigration services on that sort of thing pretty easily, plus a lot is on the websites, just investigate and talk to a good lawyer if needed, but do take it up with HR again. I found this Australian website and may contain some useful information for you https://www.fwc.gov.au/

So sorry you have to go through this.

Livgetfit wrote: »

Today is one of the worst days I've ever had. Today, through a message missent to me instead of the intended recipient, I found out that my colleagues call me Jabba the Hutt behind my back.

This is just one part of the scenario playing out at my work. There's a much bigger bullying situation going on where 3 of a team of just 5 of us make nasty comments about me. I've been threatened with social isolation at work. The truth is I'm already isolated but the confrontation devastated me none the less.

People can be horrible. People who hurt others intentionally are beyond my understanding.

My question to you is, has anyone ever had to shake something like this off? If so how have you gone about it?

I'm in a bit of a state to be honest. This comment is so personal and so targeted at my appearance. I'm struggling not go back to my old emotional eating reaction.

What's it all worth if people are going to call me that anyway? What am I worth when that's what people see when they look at me?

I just want to give up and never get out of bed again

Here's what I have told , or would tell any one of my loved ones dealing with situations similar:

I think there a couple of things going on here: Some of it is within your control, some of it is not.

Your workplace is infected with bullies. Is there something you can do about this? Take the missent email up the corporate ladder, chain of command, etc? Ask that person(s) for help: HOW you can/should deal with the situation?

Unless/until someone stands up to the bullying, it will continue.

What someone else thinks of you is not your business. Really. It took me along time to understand this.

What's important is what you think of yourself. FWIW, I'll tell you who I see when I see your profile pic and read what you've written in this post:

You are a kind, caring, compassionate person. You are hard working, you deserve to feel very proud of what you have accomplished, and you are a person worth getting to know. You may very well be someone's best friend EVER!

It must suck living in a bully's skin. Think about it, the only way they can feel good about themselves, is to belittle someone else. I would not want to live life like that.

You are well on your way towards your goal and DON'T give up to be the best YOU can be, just because a couple of dimwits wrote something nasty about you.

You are better than that!

I just looked at your profile and u look nothing like jaba the hutt. Im guessing they just pulled that name out of their arses because it makes so sense at all. Please hire a lawyer if your boss wont take action. This behavior isnt acceptable.

jabba the hutt, renown galactic gangster and immune to jedi mind tricks?? why is that so bad?

Hey there! I'm so sorry. They are undoubtedly jealous of you or intimidated by you to pick on you and not get to know you. You're no Jabba the Hutt, not even a little bit. I understand that your Visa depends on this job. And I know that this seems really raw at this moment and that you are full of dread about going to work and facing them. HOWEVER, if you are able to go in there, chin held high, victorious in knowing that you're right and they're wrong for treating you this way, and still act amicable to them, it's all you can do for now. Be the first to say good morning. Look them in the eye. Be polite and complimentary - not *kitten* kissing nice, but cordial. And then, if you can pursue action legally, do. And if you can't, please look for another job that will support your Visa. Not because you want them to win, but because you shouldn't have to work with a bunch of d-bag losers who don't deserve to know you.

Never doubt that you're awesome. Don't listen to anything these jerks say. They just suck. Listen to all the kind people on this thread...we think you're beautiful!!!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I'm so sorry they did that, that is terrible! I've dealt with bullying in the workplace as well, it's so hard. I agree with others that if your manager is not taking action to make it better, than you should take it to either a law firm or the HR person. That is unacceptable behavior.