The cheesiest chat up lines you've heard

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  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Are those astronaut pants... because your *kitten* is out of this world!
  • donby
    donby Posts: 28 Member
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    Just for fun:

    1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

    2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

    3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

    4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

    5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

    6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking
    to you.

    7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have
    you seen one?

    8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

    9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

    10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you
    all day long for a quarter.

    11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

    12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

    13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

    14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
    switch away.

    15. Are those real?

    16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

    17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for
    that thing you do with your tongue.

    18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

    19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

    20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

    21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

    2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

    23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

    24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

    25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

    26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

    27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

    28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

    29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

    30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

    31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we
    could do it in public.

    32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

    33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

    34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

    35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

    36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this
    cheap motel room.

    37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet
  • JGCowboy
    JGCowboy Posts: 58
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    What, me? No....I'm not really this tall, I'm just sitting on my wallet tonight! :laugh:
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    OMG these are crackin me up !!!
  • Driagnor
    Driagnor Posts: 323 Member
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    A friend of mine actually used this one in a club: "I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my ear-muffs. Could I borrow your thighs?"
  • fh1951
    fh1951 Posts: 441 Member
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    Steve Martin as Vinnie in 'My Blue Heaven':

    Vinnie: You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section.
    Shaldeen: Why is that?
    Vinnie: Because you could melt all this stuff.
  • DESIREE1210
    DESIREE1210 Posts: 177 Member
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    Standing in a parking lot talking to a friend when this guy pulls up in a Pontiac and said "GET ON THIS PONTIAC AND RIDE" and pointed to his private area, of course, I flipped him off, and shouted several bad words his way.
    Should have told him you only ride Mustangs............
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    so not really a pick-up line but the absolute best line ever used on me was from a guy i was dating at the time. we were at a bar with a bunch of friends and he was quite drunk. he walks up to me, grabs me by the waist, pulls me real close, looks deep in my eyes, and says in this deep, whispy voice......

    "baby......you're so sexy when i'm drunk."

    i started cracking up laughing. but silly me, it must have worked. we dated and got married last august on our 12 year anniversary!
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
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    so not really a pick-up line but the absolute best line ever used on me was from a guy i was dating at the time. we were at a bar with a bunch of friends and he was quite drunk. he walks up to me, grabs me by the waist, pulls me real close, looks deep in my eyes, and says in this deep, whispy voice......

    "baby......you're so sexy when i'm drunk."

    i started cracking up laughing. but silly me, it must have worked. we dated and got married last august on our 12 year anniversary!

    hahaha, that so woulda worked on me :)
  • Micheller1210
    Micheller1210 Posts: 460 Member
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    When I was younger I heard Damn! Those curves were meant to be driven..and I know just the car.............you have the most beautiful hair and it would look so lovley on my pillow.........and this one wow you have the body to make an honest man sin.......hmmmm wonders why am over weight now oh ya back in the day before sex harrassment...I would be pinched,or patted
  • Linnleex3
    Linnleex3 Posts: 20
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    Just for fun:

    1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

    2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

    3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

    4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

    5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

    6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking
    to you.

    7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have
    you seen one?

    8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

    9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

    10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you
    all day long for a quarter.

    11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

    12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

    13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

    14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
    switch away.

    15. Are those real?

    16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

    17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for
    that thing you do with your tongue.

    18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

    19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

    20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

    21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

    2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

    23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

    24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

    25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

    26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

    27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

    28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

    29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

    30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

    31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we
    could do it in public.

    32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

    33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

    34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

    35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

    36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this
    cheap motel room.

    37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet


    Lmfao!! I Love all of em! :)
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    Standing in a parking lot talking to a friend when this guy pulls up in a Pontiac and said "GET ON THIS PONTIAC AND RIDE" and pointed to his private area, of course, I flipped him off, and shouted several bad words his way.
    Should have told him you only ride Mustangs............

    lol:laugh:
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you?
  • Hopie17
    Hopie17 Posts: 53
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    lmao girls eat up compliments (not cheesy ones).
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    you know what would look really good on you? ME!!!