I hate being like this

K, you have a pretty good handle on the things you hate. What do you like? What kind of life do you want? I have a few ideas on things you can try.

1. Set your target to 1700 calories a day, leaving 200 calories for a sweet snack in the evening. Easier target, less likely to fail.
2. Can you negotiate a different pattern with your dad, asking him NOT to bring home cake? It can be something lovely and inedible, like a flower.
3. You day is highly unstructured. You will have to do all the motivating and structure yourself. This is very, very hard. So pick ONE thing to structure in your day and stick with that for a few weeks. Then when that is established pick something else. It might be breakfast at the same time every day, with a full hour wait before snacking.
4. Pre-package your snack allotment for the entire day the night before. When it's gone, it's gone. Be generous with yourself, simply reducing it by say, 75% of what you are doing now. Then whittle away at it.
5. Write a story of what your future life will be like and put in all the things you want in it. Then make a bucket list of things you can change to get to that future life. It won't happen all at once, but putting some texture and meaning to that future will help.

britishbeau wrote: »

Im here, Im here, just had some stuff to sort out. thank you all for the replies. I am very hard on myself i guess. i am unhappy with my life and where i am, the weight is a part of it, but also dealing with parents who drink too much ect. i feel like i have to motivate myself and everyone else, people are very draining for me.

you all give such great advice. i think i am eating too little, and i turn into the hulk when im hungry. im 5'3, 147lbs. i think i am eating too little. but mfp is telling me i have to eat 1200 to just lose 1lb. which is so frustrating. ive just looked and it says to lose .5lb i should eat 1490, or i could go for maintainence level and not eat back my exercise calories?

im thinking of getting a fitbit but its alot of money i dont have and ive heard mixed reviews on its accuracy

You should watch Kat WIlliams stand up I think it is this one.

There is a take home message that you might pick up on. If not well its very funny.

I feel fortunate that I never enjoyed foods like that from the time I was young. I never ate cake, even on my birthday, never enjoyed chocolate or candy, I'd give it away to my friends on Halloween for example, I've never even eaten a potato chip in my life. Which is all the more reason why it was hard to gain weight when I needed to (I played rugby in college), and harder to lose it when I decided to join the military afterwards. I'm still working on that last part.

As a result, I don't have a triumphant 'here's how I did it!' story for you. I do however have a few words of encouragement: you can do it, and you are ready. It's quite simple really, your issues are cyclical. You are upset over the situation, and eating provides a comfort and results in the body producing dopamine. The guilt you feel after the fact is the dopamine wearing off, as the 'high' is temporary. Just understand that that's okay.

You need a replacement, something you can find that you enjoy to supplement that. For me, the gym is my favourite thng in the world, though it may not be yours: and that's okay. Find something else that you can gradually replace eating with. I also love videogames, for example, and reading. There's a vast world out there that can serve to stimulate your interest and give you satisfaction beyond eating and hurting your fitness goals.

Good luck!

britishbeau wrote: »

Im here, Im here, just had some stuff to sort out. thank you all for the replies. I am very hard on myself i guess. i am unhappy with my life and where i am, the weight is a part of it, but also dealing with parents who drink too much ect. i feel like i have to motivate myself and everyone else, people are very draining for me.

you all give such great advice. i think i am eating too little, and i turn into the hulk when im hungry. im 5'3, 147lbs. i think i am eating too little. but mfp is telling me i have to eat 1200 to just lose 1lb. which is so frustrating. ive just looked and it says to lose .5lb i should eat 1490, or i could go for maintainence level and not eat back my exercise calories?

im thinking of getting a fitbit but its alot of money i dont have and ive heard mixed reviews on its accuracy

All you have to do to lose is eat less than you've been eating so far, and burn a little more. That's why I suggested tracking your usual diet (no changes, just what you would have eaten like a month ago) for about a week, and then taking 200-300 off of that for your gross intake.

Then, do whatever kind of exercise burns an additional 200-300. At your weight, that might be 30-40 minutes on the elliptical or walking on a treadmill or outside, at a fast clip). Or an exercise DVD, like Jillian Michaels stuff, if you want to work out at home. FitnessBlender has some good free videos with estimated calorie burns (for an average, it won't be precise for you, but if you work hard and with intensity, you'll get a reasonable burn). Do that 4-5 times a week and you'll get those calories burned.

That's 400-600 calories less per day than you're consuming/holding now, which over 7 days will get you to the .5 lb loss rate.

You don't need a FitBit if you use the TDEE method - which just involves logging your food intake, but not your exercise. If you work out consistently, you should be able to roughly count on that burn.

I personally feel that a small deficit, like I described above, is much more manageable than a bigger deficit, and doesn't lead to feelings of deprivation. Much easier to make the helpful tweaks.

britishbeau wrote: »

smotheredincheese wrote: »

britishbeau wrote: »

its hard enough planning 3 meals that fit, let alone room for snacks.

How many calories do you eat a day and what sort of thing do you normally have for your meals?

i try to eat 1200 like mfp tells me to, but im just so hungry on that. i usually end up eating 1800-2000. my problem is i hate nearly all veg. and i definately cant eat it cooked, i can eat raw carrot and cucumber, yellow pepper, plum tomatoes at a push but thats about it. i love meats. chicken, turkey, steak, bacon, salmon. i eat alot of pastas, baked potatoes, bread and rice, mostly because theres nothing else in. i also find a battle with my family. last night my bro went to pizza hut and 'out of the kindness of his heart' bought me potatoe wedges that i didnt ask for and then tried to guilt me into eating them. i didnt. its ok for him to eat a whole pizza and dessert though, he just stays skinny even though he eats take out 7-8 times a week atleast.

i try so hard to plan my meals but when i comes to it i just dont want that. or im not full and want more. i crave sweet things alot after ive finished a meal. and i really wish i didnt. and over the past 2 years ive just slowly put on more and more weight.

I would be hungry all the time if the bulk of my calories came from pasta, bread, and rice. I do eat pasta and rice - but proportionally small amounts, for example - 1/2 C of rice with 3.5 ounces of chicken (and veggies).

I have found the less simple carbs I eat, the less I want, and the more energy I have. I'm eating more protein and veggies, quite a bit of fat, and exercising more. Most of the time, I no longer want a sweet after a meal, or if I do this is satisfied with a few strawberries or a dried plum.

I hear that you only like a few veggies - but are you making a concerted effort to eat them? Veggies will help you feel fuller.

How many grams of protein are you getting per day?

cleback wrote: »

To be honest, if you hate yourself and are depressed from a difficult family situation, no amount of weight loss will make you happy. I'd focus on your emotional well-being first. Sure, make some healthier choices, but do so to help your mood, not for weight loss. Good luck, OP!

+1

if your needs are not being met by you family or yourself then there is little chance of success. You need to be in an emotional place where you can prioritise your goals. It sounds like you want something else - I'd start with a few small changes and build on it slowly.

147 is not huge for your height, maybe things feel worse than they really are?

Dawn410 wrote: »

I_Will_End_You wrote: »

acarr214 wrote: »

You're hungry all the time because, as you said, you eat a lot of sugar. Sugar puts you on a vicious cycle of ALWAYS being hungry and NEVER feeling satisfied. And I say this from a huge amount of experience. You need to either do a sugar detox (which will cause some withdrawal symptoms) or ween your self off sugar slowly. Either way, it should be your #1 focus. Get off the sugar and you will find it MUCH easier to stay on your diet.

Sugar doesn't make you hungry all the time. I had a chocolate peanut butter cookie this morning and I'm not hungry. Imagine that! It's more likely that she's hungry all of the time because she's trying to stick to a very low calorie goal.

Insulin spikes and crashes from eating sugar all the time can make you hungry all the time. One peanut butter cookie won't do it, but eating lots of sugar can do it. Eating large amounts of sugar is like a drug. And trying to come off of it can cause intense symptoms ( ask anyone who has gone low carb and had "keto flu").

OP, I missed what you do for a living. Is your work portable? It sounds like being near food all the time is a weakness. Can you maybe go to a library, and office, a friend's house and do your work? That way you won't have as much temptation around?

Or maybe find a tea that you like and sip that while you work instead of eating.

Mabye a lot of sugar makes you hungry, but that does not mean everybody has this happen. I eat plenty of sugar and I am not hungry all the time, even if I choose to eat 2 or 3 cookies, which I might do if my calorie goals allow it.

Also, just because to you eating loads of sugar is like a drug doe s not mean it's the same for everyone.

Your are extrapollating your views and applying them to everyone.