I have an eating disorder and i want to escape it

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Replies

  • chloealaine23
    chloealaine23 Posts: 8 Member
    digglekim wrote: »
    jill7755 wrote: »
    I guess people forget what it's like to be 18. It's hard to venture out and do things independently sometimes. Especially when it's something as hard as seeking help for an ED. I know this, I lived this. Please don't keep it to yourself. Keeping it a secret makes it easier for it to control and consume you. Tell some people that you trust that will help you get help. You do need professional help because breaking those habits and thought patterns is really hard and you need someone outside of yourself to help pull you out and give you a different perspective - a new way of thinking. You can beat this, I did it! Best of luck to you!

    Absolutely this, please try to read the above post often. You can do it.

    Thank you for your concern about this. Really appreciate it!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    +1 for professional help. You've been given resources in this thread that can at least get you started.
    Recovery is tough, and you have to be willing to fight for yourself. Take the 1st steps. You're worth it.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I am bulimic for the past two years. I am not overweight or underweight as well. I want to maintain my current weight right now so i do some exercise once a week like muai thai. But everytime i eat something, i always feel guilty so when i feel like i overate, i'd keep eating everything and i won't stop until i finish it then i'd purge everything as well right after. It became my daily routine now and it is getting really worse. I don't wanna get fat and struggling to lose weight because of an upcoming event. I tried to be vegan but tempted to eat meat so i purge when i eat meat as well. I always crave sweets and starve myself but ending up binging and purging. I need help. Please.

    Chloe, I struggled with bulimia from the time I was about 17 until I was 24. At first, bingeing and purging was occasional, but it progressed rapidly when my mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was 22, and then really got bad when she passed away. Back then, I made deals with myself: if I could stop myself from binging and throwing up, then I could have whatever I wanted at that time. Well, I was able to stop cold turkey, but after I went through a divorce in my early thirties the urges came back.

    Instead of giving in to the urges, I immediately called my doctor and he got me into a treatment program right away. I have not engaged in bulimic behavior in about 30 years, and I'm very lucky that I didn't suffer health consequences, but I remember the feelings of self hatred, shame, guilt, and especially how I had no control over my urges.

    Group and individual therapy helped me understand how when practicing bulimia I was stuffing feelings I could deal with, then purging to get rid of the feelings, especially a lot of self hatred. With group/individual therapy, I realized the urges came back because I was not dealing with my feelings over my divorce in a healthy way. I am so glad I did not give into the urges, but it was the support and love of other people with similar issues, and the therapists too, that helped me find recovery.

    I encourage you to call your doctor immediately and tell him/he what is going on with you and ask for a referral to an eating disorder program. If you continue this behavior you can cause serious damage to your body. You cannot do this alone, you need the help and support of qualified people in real life, not on an internet forum.

    I hope some of what I've said will help you.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    It's nit easy to get professional help. Especially when your parents doesn't take it seriously and they wont believe that it's a serious disorder

    My mom didn't take it seriously either. She told me to immediately make myself stop throwing up. I couldn't stop, and she didn't now what to do. She was in denial and didn't know how to handle it.

    I was bulimic even when I moved out on my own.

    Your parents are in denial, they don't now how to handle it.

    If you are 18 or over, you have to take responsibility for yourself and get yourself help before it's too late.

    If you under 18, you should not be on this forum.

    You need to immediately call your doctor.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Thank you for your time reading this. Do you think i can still heal myself without professional help?

    Absolutely NOT.

    I'll say it again: call your doctor immediately and get help before it's too late.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    I am bulimic for the past two years. I am not overweight or underweight as well. I want to maintain my current weight right now so i do some exercise once a week like muai thai. But everytime i eat something, i always feel guilty so when i feel like i overate, i'd keep eating everything and i won't stop until i finish it then i'd purge everything as well right after. It became my daily routine now and it is getting really worse. I don't wanna get fat and struggling to lose weight because of an upcoming event. I tried to be vegan but tempted to eat meat so i purge when i eat meat as well. I always crave sweets and starve myself but ending up binging and purging. I need help. Please.

    Chloe, I struggled with bulimia from the time I was about 17 until I was 24. At first, bingeing and purging was occasional, but it progressed rapidly when my mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was 22, and then really got bad when she passed away. Back then, I made deals with myself: if I could stop myself from binging and throwing up, then I could have whatever I wanted at that time. Well, I was able to stop cold turkey, but after I went through a divorce in my early thirties the urges came back.

    Instead of giving in to the urges, I immediately called my doctor and he got me into a treatment program right away. I have not engaged in bulimic behavior in about 30 years, and I'm very lucky that I didn't suffer health consequences, but I remember the feelings of self hatred, shame, guilt, and especially how I had no control over my urges.

    Group and individual therapy helped me understand how when practicing bulimia I was stuffing feelings I could deal with, then purging to get rid of the feelings, especially a lot of self hatred. With group/individual therapy, I realized the urges came back because I was not dealing with my feelings over my divorce in a healthy way. I am so glad I did not give into the urges, but it was the support and love of other people with similar issues, and the therapists too, that helped me find recovery.

    I encourage you to call your doctor immediately and tell him/he what is going on with you and ask for a referral to an eating disorder program. If you continue this behavior you can cause serious damage to your body. You cannot do this alone, you need the help and support of qualified people in real life, not on an internet forum.

    I hope some of what I've said will help you.

    That was really nice of you to share. Good on you.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Kalikel wrote: »
    The best thing to do, if your parents are useless, is to seek some help from someone at school. If there is a psychologist, ask to see them. If there isn't, find a teacher who seems normal, reasonable and nice and tell them your problem and ask them if they could help you find someone who could help you.

    Her parents are in denial. That does not make them useless, it makes them scared and hiding behind that denial.
    Church. If you go, you may already know someone there you can ask. Priests and rabbis are trained to act as counselors. Some are better than others, lol, but it's not an unfamiliar place for them, helping people with problems. That's what they do! Some churches these days have Free Medical Care day where doctors and nurses volunteer their time. I bet there is someone in your church who would volunteer to help you.

    They are not trained in dealing with eating disorders. Anyone with bulimia needs qualified personnel trained in eating disorders, not religious counseling.
    Until then, I don't know. Try eating more peanut butter. ;)

    Why are you telling a bulimic to try eating more peanut butter. Why would you even say such a thing?
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    The best thing to do, if your parents are useless, is to seek some help from someone at school. If there is a psychologist, ask to see them. If there isn't, find a teacher who seems normal, reasonable and nice and tell them your problem and ask them if they could help you find someone who could help you.

    Her parents are in denial. That does not make them useless, it makes them scared and hiding behind that denial.
    Church. If you go, you may already know someone there you can ask. Priests and rabbis are trained to act as counselors. Some are better than others, lol, but it's not an unfamiliar place for them, helping people with problems. That's what they do! Some churches these days have Free Medical Care day where doctors and nurses volunteer their time. I bet there is someone in your church who would volunteer to help you.

    They are not trained in dealing with eating disorders. Anyone with bulimia needs qualified personnel trained in eating disorders, not religious counseling.
    Until then, I don't know. Try eating more peanut butter. ;)

    Why are you telling a bulimic to try eating more peanut butter. Why would you even say such a thing?
    If her parents are unable to help, whether they're in denial or don't care or are too drunk or what ER their problem may be, they're useless to her. Your assumption that they're in denial isn't the gospel truth. It might be and it might not be the case. But the reason behind the uselessness is not this girl's problem.

    Priests and rabbis know what they're trained to do and what they need to find other help for. They CAN find her the help she needs. That's what they do. Sometimes they find it in their congregation and sometimes they find it elsewhere, but they find it.

    The PB thing was a joke, hence the wink. It's harder to bring up, as you must know. I assume she got that.

    I'm sorry you don't like what I posted. Best I can do. I think it's all good advice.

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    edited June 2015
    Kalikel wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    The best thing to do, if your parents are useless, is to seek some help from someone at school. If there is a psychologist, ask to see them. If there isn't, find a teacher who seems normal, reasonable and nice and tell them your problem and ask them if they could help you find someone who could help you.

    Her parents are in denial. That does not make them useless, it makes them scared and hiding behind that denial.
    Church. If you go, you may already know someone there you can ask. Priests and rabbis are trained to act as counselors. Some are better than others, lol, but it's not an unfamiliar place for them, helping people with problems. That's what they do! Some churches these days have Free Medical Care day where doctors and nurses volunteer their time. I bet there is someone in your church who would volunteer to help you.

    They are not trained in dealing with eating disorders. Anyone with bulimia needs qualified personnel trained in eating disorders, not religious counseling.
    Until then, I don't know. Try eating more peanut butter. ;)

    Why are you telling a bulimic to try eating more peanut butter. Why would you even say such a thing?
    If her parents are unable to help, whether they're in denial or don't care or are too drunk or what ER their problem may be, they're useless to her. Your assumption that they're in denial isn't the gospel truth. It might be and it might not be the case. But the reason behind the uselessness is not this girl's problem.

    Priests and rabbis know what they're trained to do and what they need to find other help for. They CAN find her the help she needs. That's what they do. Sometimes they find it in their congregation and sometimes they find it elsewhere, but they find it.

    The PB thing was a joke, hence the wink. It's harder to bring up, as you must know. I assume she got that.

    I'm sorry you don't like what I posted. Best I can do. I think it's all good advice.

    Fair enough on directing the OP to others who might be able t help. However, your joke about the peanut butter is not funny at all. Believe me, I vomited peanut butter just fine.
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