A tiny tip I thought I would share
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I don't know. I have various ideas of how this may all work out. I am now where a lot of people are when they begin, about 40 pounds to go. And I don't know how it's going to be when I'm done. Possible theories:Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »A question: if you tell yourself you can have XYZ at maintenance, but not now, (aka, just delaying it all), how will you maintain?
If this is a true lifestyle/healthstyle, don't you need a plan for incorporating those things you plant to eat regularly now? I guess I don't get how you're planning to do this?
I've been maintaining for 14 years by doing what I've been doing, and eating what I ate when I was losing...I never "went off" my diet. It's the way I eat. Regardless, good luck!
1. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and eventually it'll get so hard that I just say, "Screw it, I'm done," and that will be my new weight. At this point, indulgences would have to be made up for with exercise or eating a little less before and/or after. This is Theory #1 because it's where I have my money, but who freaking knows. I'm too old to pretend I have all the answers and can see the future, lol
2. I'll keep losing and it'll never get too hard, so when I'm done, I can just work in an occasional treat and will maintain easily.
3. I'll have fluctuations and will occasionally have to lose a couple pounds.
That's what I don't know. What I do know:
1. I cannot possibly "work in" every single thing I like to eat and still lose weight. There are literally hundreds (possibly more) of foods I'd love to have, about a dozen at Dunkin Donuts alone. If I worked in ALL those foods on a regular basis, I'd be as big as a house, so saying "No" to things makes sense if I want to lose weight. An extra 500-1000 (or more) calories a day wouldn't work for me. Heck, even when I paid no attention to what I ate, I could not eat ALL the foods I liked on a regular basis. There are just too many of them!
2. While there's nothing wrong with eating whatever tastes good whenever you want to have it, there is also nothing wrong saying, "No, I can't have that" when one is dieting.
3. There is nothing wrong with choosing to have a healthier diet. Sometimes - especially at first! - it means having a little discipline and selecting the healthier food choices.
I've received lots of advice. Doctors, dietitian, supportive people, unsupportive people, randoms who like to take weight loss - I've listened to them all. But in the end, I have to lose my weight. They can't lose it for me. So, I have to go with my own plan and hope for the best.
It's working well so far. 85 pounds down, all the blood work is good or has improved and I feel great. So, I'm doing something right.
In the end, I'd rather fail because I was wrong than because I thought someone else knew how to run my weight loss better than I do. So, even if I fail at some point, it'll be ME that fails and I'll have nobody to blame but me.
And if I succeed, it's all me, there, too. 0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
There are probably going to be more calories available at maintenance, so "fitting something in" would be easier.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »A question: if you tell yourself you can have XYZ at maintenance, but not now, (aka, just delaying it all), how will you maintain?
If this is a true lifestyle/healthstyle, don't you need a plan for incorporating those things you plant to eat regularly now? I guess I don't get how you're planning to do this?
I mean, people always say "Don't make a change that you don't want to do forever." I didn't want to eat at a deficit forever, but I did it in the relatively short term. I might not want to give up Triple Chocolate Brownie Calorie Bomb Fudge Cake forever, but it might be feasible to do so until there is more breathing space in the calorie goal.
I guess I like that you said "probably" about more calories at maintenance. Like Stef said it does depend on your chosen rate of loss. For me I'm always stuck on the fact that someone who's maybe starting out at 210 lbs feels she'll suddenly have all this extra food to eat when she's 150. Heck the numbers might even make sense but I just can't wrap my mind around it. Add to that whether or not you'll choose to exercise at the same intensity or frequency. And also the fact that your smaller body will burn less calories with the same exercise...
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Kalikel, my biggest curiosity whenever you've mentioned "hundreds of things" is, are you saying at any given time, there's literally hundreds of things you could eat but choose not to? I mean I have pretty much a massive appetitive for hugely calorie dense things, but I don't actually feel like consuming every decadent thing all the time and would indeed turn them down if offered. That or something with less calories is close enough for me (diet pop for example) that it's not even worth it0
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DeguelloTex wrote: »
There are probably going to be more calories available at maintenance, so "fitting something in" would be easier.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »A question: if you tell yourself you can have XYZ at maintenance, but not now, (aka, just delaying it all), how will you maintain?
If this is a true lifestyle/healthstyle, don't you need a plan for incorporating those things you plant to eat regularly now? I guess I don't get how you're planning to do this?
I mean, people always say "Don't make a change that you don't want to do forever." I didn't want to eat at a deficit forever, but I did it in the relatively short term. I might not want to give up Triple Chocolate Brownie Calorie Bomb Fudge Cake forever, but it might be feasible to do so until there is more breathing space in the calorie goal.
I agree with Tex to a point however lots of "us" choose to do this weight loss thing at a slower rate so we have more room to play with our food and calories.
When I am at maintenance I added in a Large coffee from Tim horton's everyday and maybe the odd splurge of ice cream..(not the biggest ice cream fan actually *waits for the boooooo's) but for me giving up my favorite food which is calorie dense is not feasible ie chocolate...and I do eat it every night usually...might miss a few nights a month.
this time when I hit maintenance I am not sure what I will add in as I make Tim's coffee at home (kcups), and ice cream season doesn't last long here...who knows.
But that's the nice thing I eat what I want now...maybe I will just eat bigger portions...however last night proved I physically can't (ordered a medium poutine and could only eat half *cries*)
Okay first of all, reported for your unnatural feelings about ice cream. Second, I did give up a lot of things when I first started losing--and am now maintaining (before working on vanity weight) while enjoying foods I believe to be worth the calories. I don't necessarily agree that denying yourself things leads to binging at the end, unless you are on an insanely restrictive diet.
If writing cravings down helps you, I'm glad. Just make sure you don't restrict too much and go on a multi-week binge at the end.0 -
barbecuesauce wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
There are probably going to be more calories available at maintenance, so "fitting something in" would be easier.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »A question: if you tell yourself you can have XYZ at maintenance, but not now, (aka, just delaying it all), how will you maintain?
If this is a true lifestyle/healthstyle, don't you need a plan for incorporating those things you plant to eat regularly now? I guess I don't get how you're planning to do this?
I mean, people always say "Don't make a change that you don't want to do forever." I didn't want to eat at a deficit forever, but I did it in the relatively short term. I might not want to give up Triple Chocolate Brownie Calorie Bomb Fudge Cake forever, but it might be feasible to do so until there is more breathing space in the calorie goal.
I agree with Tex to a point however lots of "us" choose to do this weight loss thing at a slower rate so we have more room to play with our food and calories.
When I am at maintenance I added in a Large coffee from Tim horton's everyday and maybe the odd splurge of ice cream..(not the biggest ice cream fan actually *waits for the boooooo's) but for me giving up my favorite food which is calorie dense is not feasible ie chocolate...and I do eat it every night usually...might miss a few nights a month.
this time when I hit maintenance I am not sure what I will add in as I make Tim's coffee at home (kcups), and ice cream season doesn't last long here...who knows.
But that's the nice thing I eat what I want now...maybe I will just eat bigger portions...however last night proved I physically can't (ordered a medium poutine and could only eat half *cries*)
Okay first of all, reported for your unnatural feelings about ice cream. Second, I did give up a lot of things when I first started losing--and am now maintaining (before working on vanity weight) while enjoying foods I believe to be worth the calories. I don't necessarily agree that denying yourself things leads to binging at the end, unless you are on an insanely restrictive diet.
If writing cravings down helps you, I'm glad. Just make sure you don't restrict too much and go on a multi-week binge at the end.
*looks behind shoulder for ice cream police.
I did to at first but realized I didn't have to which was great.
I to eat foods that are worth it...I turned down birthday cupcakes this week at work as they just aren't worth the calories...dried out store bought icky is not worth 360 calories. Prior to joining MFP I would have eaten it anyway.
I also agree that if writing down stuff for later helps have at...Kalikel, my biggest curiosity whenever you've mentioned "hundreds of things" is, are you saying at any given time, there's literally hundreds of things you could eat but choose not to? I mean I have pretty much a massive appetitive for hugely calorie dense things, but I don't actually feel like consuming every decadent thing all the time and would indeed turn them down if offered. That or something with less calories is close enough for me (diet pop for example) that it's not even worth it
Ditto here...I love food and love to cook. For example I make a brownie bottomed peanut butter cup cheese cake...about once a year...I eat half a piece and I am good. I free half of it for later when I want it again...but to eat that everyday would make me ill.0 -
I love food but have never binged, obsessed or been miserable about it...unless miserable because I ate a bit too much and sat too much over the winter and put on a few pounds. I think people have different feelings about food. Putting off a food would not make me binge on it later at all. I will occasionally eat things that I have not worked into my daily calorie budget but I have never once regretted NOT eating something.
I often think about my current goals and if a food just doesn't fit I figure I can have it at a later date when it does fit in. I've never thought to write it down though. :-)
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I do this all the time. Sometimes I'm like, "When I'm done, I can indulge once in a while, not yet."
Other times, when it's really bad, I decide to have it the next day if I really, really want it. Next day comes and I'm like, "Tomorrow."
I've been promising myself I'll have a Dunkin Donuts muffin tomorrow for weeks now. Each day, I mean it. Each day, I put it off. Eventually, the desire will pass and I'll move on to some other treat and then I'll put that off.
Geez, since you're fixating on the same freaking muffin for weeks, now, just have the damn thing, log it and move on already! Life's too short.
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Yup. I could list hundreds of things that I'd like to eat and would enjoy at any given time. There are probably 50 (maybe more) in the 7-11 alone. Not even counting what I make, just going through the grocery store, I could point to so very many.Kalikel, my biggest curiosity whenever you've mentioned "hundreds of things" is, are you saying at any given time, there's literally hundreds of things you could eat but choose not to? I mean I have pretty much a massive appetitive for hugely calorie dense things, but I don't actually feel like consuming every decadent thing all the time and would indeed turn them down if offered. That or something with less calories is close enough for me (diet pop for example) that it's not even worth it
Maybe I enjoy more foods than some other people. Maybe they are pickier than I am? I don't know.
But there is no way on Earth that I could eat all the foods I like and eat them all the time, lol. Even when I was at my fattest, I didn't work in everything I liked on a regular basis.
I wish I was pickier or could eat all the foods, all the time, but I can't. C'est la vie.
I don't have that problem where if I don't eat some right now, I will later lose all control of myself and binge on it. I know some people struggle with that, so of course they would need to eat small amounts.
To each, his own. 0 -
It's a good strategy for me - I process "deferred" much differently than "forbidden." It seems like it works for others, too (viz. "cheat days," e.g.) I don't "defer" until goal weight (I am maintaining inside my "healthy weight range" for the time being - or maybe forever, I haven't decided yet) but I will often "defer" until tomorrow and then just plan whatever it is in to the day. It will never be fast food - but could well be a hamburger with cheddar, grilled onions and hot peppers from Dotty Dumpling's Dowry
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Out of sight and smell, is out of mind for me. I do not obsess about food unless I see it over and over again, like commercial adds, cooking shows, or wafting yummy smells. This is why I don't watch TV or walk through the food court.0
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Yup. I could list hundreds of things that I'd like to eat and would enjoy at any given time. There are probably 50 (maybe more) in the 7-11 alone. Not even counting what I make, just going through the grocery store, I could point to so very many.Kalikel, my biggest curiosity whenever you've mentioned "hundreds of things" is, are you saying at any given time, there's literally hundreds of things you could eat but choose not to? I mean I have pretty much a massive appetitive for hugely calorie dense things, but I don't actually feel like consuming every decadent thing all the time and would indeed turn them down if offered. That or something with less calories is close enough for me (diet pop for example) that it's not even worth it
Maybe I enjoy more foods than some other people. Maybe they are pickier than I am? I don't know.
But there is no way on Earth that I could eat all the foods I like and eat them all the time, lol. Even when I was at my fattest, I didn't work in everything I liked on a regular basis.
This just makes me think everyone is talking past each other.
There are thousands of foods I'd get excited about eating (not many in a 7-11, though, to be honest), but that doesn't mean that I want to eat all of them right now. If I go to a restaurant with lots of options I like, I might have trouble choosing, but even in my worst "don't care about calories or restraint" days I never was tempted to order 4-5 entrees so I could have everything. Don't people typically want one meal, so you choose between things without choosing (I'm not having this or that or this other thing)?
I'm frankly curious about this--if I think, hmm, guess I'll have lamb for dinner, I don't think of that as meaning that I'd choosing to not have chicken, since once I decide on the lamb, the lamb is what I want, not all the things I'm not having.
My impression is that when people talk about not having foods they "want," they don't mean not having foods they'd theoretically enjoy but don't think about that much unless it's specifically offered, but a food that's in their mind actively tempting them. So when people say "eat the foods you like," they mean eat a diet you will enjoy and if there are foods you really want to eat, find a way to fit them in.
I don't know, maybe I'm lucky that I don't often find myself really wanting foods that are especially tough to fit in. I really like, say, fish and chips and that's a calorie bomb, so I eat it really rarely vs. a couple times a month, but there are plenty of other things I like just as much so I don't perceive that as a deprivation. If it were hanging out in my mind as something I'm dying to have I'd probably fit it in.
I'm not being critical, or arguing for my way vs. another way, but just interested in the different ways of thinking of this. Related to OP's strategy, maybe, what I do sometimes if I'm wanting a particular taste is think of whether I can make dinner in a way that suits that taste--often I want spicy or something or a combination of flavors vs. a specific food once I think about it.0 -
daniwilford wrote: »Out of sight and smell, is out of mind for me. I do not obsess about food unless I see it over and over again, like commercial adds, cooking shows, or wafting yummy smells. This is why I don't watch TV or walk through the food court.
I don't watch the Food Network for just that reason. The last thing I need is to develop cravings for stuff I didn't even know I wanted! lol0 -
That's a good tip - I think sometimes in the urgency of wanting something now, you forget that actually all that stuff will still be there when you're at goal - it's probably not going anywhere!! I try to eat more calorie dense things when I reach a mini goal. I don't really consider them to be 'treats' either (hate that word), since I actually like the food I eat on a daily basis. It's just sometimes I want something that's higher in calories and I can't afford to work it in because it means I would go over calories or not hit my macros.0
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Thanks I'll keep this in mind.0
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I know you read here, so you know there are people who give nothing up. They can work in every single food they like on a regular basis and never, ever deny themselves anything except, maybe, a larger portion. It works for them and it's a great thing! Everything that works is great, IMO.lemurcat12 wrote: »
Yup. I could list hundreds of things that I'd like to eat and would enjoy at any given time. There are probably 50 (maybe more) in the 7-11 alone. Not even counting what I make, just going through the grocery store, I could point to so very many.Kalikel, my biggest curiosity whenever you've mentioned "hundreds of things" is, are you saying at any given time, there's literally hundreds of things you could eat but choose not to? I mean I have pretty much a massive appetitive for hugely calorie dense things, but I don't actually feel like consuming every decadent thing all the time and would indeed turn them down if offered. That or something with less calories is close enough for me (diet pop for example) that it's not even worth it
Maybe I enjoy more foods than some other people. Maybe they are pickier than I am? I don't know.
But there is no way on Earth that I could eat all the foods I like and eat them all the time, lol. Even when I was at my fattest, I didn't work in everything I liked on a regular basis.
This just makes me think everyone is talking past each other.
There are thousands of foods I'd get excited about eating (not many in a 7-11, though, to be honest), but that doesn't mean that I want to eat all of them right now. If I go to a restaurant with lots of options I like, I might have trouble choosing, but even in my worst "don't care about calories or restraint" days I never was tempted to order 4-5 entrees so I could have everything. Don't people typically want one meal, so you choose between things without choosing (I'm not having this or that or this other thing)?
I'm frankly curious about this--if I think, hmm, guess I'll have lamb for dinner, I don't think of that as meaning that I'd choosing to not have chicken, since once I decide on the lamb, the lamb is what I want, not all the things I'm not having.
My impression is that when people talk about not having foods they "want," they don't mean not having foods they'd theoretically enjoy but don't think about that much unless it's specifically offered, but a food that's in their mind actively tempting them. So when people say "eat the foods you like," they mean eat a diet you will enjoy and if there are foods you really want to eat, find a way to fit them in.
I don't know, maybe I'm lucky that I don't often find myself really wanting foods that are especially tough to fit in. I really like, say, fish and chips and that's a calorie bomb, so I eat it really rarely vs. a couple times a month, but there are plenty of other things I like just as much so I don't perceive that as a deprivation. If it were hanging out in my mind as something I'm dying to have I'd probably fit it in.
I'm not being critical, or arguing for my way vs. another way, but just interested in the different ways of thinking of this. Related to OP's strategy, maybe, what I do sometimes if I'm wanting a particular taste is think of whether I can make dinner in a way that suits that taste--often I want spicy or something or a combination of flavors vs. a specific food once I think about it.
I have a LOT - hundreds! - of foods that I really like. Some that I'd like to try, but don't, like some of those cupcakes on that very stupid Cupcake Wars show. The list of yummy things I like isn't even limited to treats. Plenty of savory and/or umami things I don't eat.
I simply cannot work them all in. There's no way in heaven or hell that I could do it. Even if I committed to it and ate eensy-weensy portions of a dozen calorie-laden things per meal, I'd go broke buying all that food and tossing it. It simply cannot be done by me.
Sometimes, I have to say, "No, can't eat that."
I've flipped my diet around so that I don't. Even when I took my break, I didn't stop eating fruits, whole grains, etc. I like what I eat and when I'm tempted to have something very yummy but doesn't work for me, I put it off to the next day. The next day, I put it off again. One day, I really will eat it. I may go to Dunkin Donuts tomorrow and get me a muffin.
I don't view it as a deprivation! On the contrary - I view it as giving myself a healthier lifestyle. I can skip the Dunkin Donuts and not feel deprived...especially since I can go tomorrow, lol.
As time has gone on, it's been easier and easier. But I still have my moments, my sweet tooth, etc. when I started, it was much harder and I spent a LOT of time thinking about yummier treats and being generally grumpy, a bit like a spoiled brat who suddenly encountered discipline and was NOT happy about hearing, "No." But I told myself No and just like the temper-tantrum throwing child, I got over it and learned better behavior.
I like a lot of foods. I don't eat them all. I can't.
I keep it in check like the OP does. "I can have that later."
Not suggesting everyone do it, of course, but it works for me.
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I know you read here, so you know there are people who give nothing up. They can work in every single food they like on a regular basis and never, ever deny themselves anything except, maybe, a larger portion. It works for them and it's a great thing! Everything that works is great, IMO.
Sure, some people have super high calorie limits.
Lots of people (like me) have more moderate calorie limits, yet will say we don't give anything up, because, well, we don't. But that doesn't mean I eat every food I really like regularly. I didn't eat every food I really liked regularly when I was fat either. (I love homemade pie, but I'm the main one who would have to bake it and I'm fundamentally lazy when it comes to baking. I love prime rib but make it like once a year, on Christmas.)
I don't think saying "I don't give anything up" means that you necessarily eat high calorie foods all the time any more than saying "I don't watch calories" ever meant that I ate 4 lunches.I simply cannot work them all in. There's no way in heaven or hell that I could do it. Even if I committed to it and ate eensy-weensy portions of a dozen calorie-laden things per meal, I'd go broke buying all that food and tossing it. It simply cannot be done by me.
Of course not. I really don't think that's what people are talking about. I think "I don't give stuff up" means that on the relatively rare occasion that I am really wanting some Chicago style pizza from my favorite place (Pequod's) I will figure out a way to fit it in or go over my calories for that day. I won't think "oh, no, I don't eat pizza any more." But it is of course true that I eat Chicago style pizza less than I used to. This isn't really cutting it out, since the food I eat instead is food I desire and enjoy as much as the pizza, although every once in a while I do really want the pizza instead of anything else.Sometimes, I have to say, "No, can't eat that."
I say that all the time. (Or, really, no, don't want to eat that.) Someone brings in a box of donuts and bagels from Dunkin Donuts. Sure, I'd like a few munchkins or a donut, but I had breakfast and have a plan for the day and don't want it more than the food I'd be displacing from my plan, so I choose not to have it. NOT because I can't have donuts (although if someone chooses to give up donuts I don't care), but because I want more than a donut the delicious balanced lunch I have planned and the dinner I have planned and my evening ice cream. (If someone brought in a super amazing donut or piece of homemade pie, I might decide, on rare occasion, to switch things around to fit it in.)I like what I eat and when I'm tempted to have something very yummy but doesn't work for me, I put it off to the next day.
If you like what you eat, I'd call that eating what you like. I eat mostly nutrient dense foods, but I make sure they are foods I really enjoy and am happily choosing to eat. I think the discussion usually is about people who see the choices as between foods they like, which they perceive as bad, and foods they have to eat to diet (which they often seem not to enjoy that much or to choose based on a preconceived idea of diet foods). My point is usually that you can eat regular foods you love on a weight loss plan.
I get the impression that you focused more on changing your palate as part of this or finding new foods you loved, whereas I mostly ate foods I already was used to and loved, but just did a better job of planning so I could have them around and make them and changing portion sizes or the proportion of veggies to other things, but for me the fundamental make up of my foods hasn't really changed. I use less oil/butter when cooking and cook at home more consistently.
I wasn't suggesting that you feel deprived but that you seem to have a different idea of what "eat what you like" means than I do. I don't think it means eat regularly every food you like, as that's not possible.0 -
I don't know what other people are doing. I gave up trying to understand wth most people are talking about because it turned into a mess and I never got a real answer. I just know some people give up nothing. I don't even ask people what they mean by "clean" or "in moderation" anymore, lol.lemurcat12 wrote: »I know you read here, so you know there are people who give nothing up. They can work in every single food they like on a regular basis and never, ever deny themselves anything except, maybe, a larger portion. It works for them and it's a great thing! Everything that works is great, IMO.
Sure, some people have super high calorie limits.
Lots of people (like me) have more moderate calorie limits, yet will say we don't give anything up, because, well, we don't. But that doesn't mean I eat every food I really like regularly. I didn't eat every food I really liked regularly when I was fat either. (I love homemade pie, but I'm the main one who would have to bake it and I'm fundamentally lazy when it comes to baking. I love prime rib but make it like once a year, on Christmas.)
I don't think saying "I don't give anything up" means that you necessarily eat high calorie foods all the time any more than saying "I don't watch calories" ever meant that I ate 4 lunches.I simply cannot work them all in. There's no way in heaven or hell that I could do it. Even if I committed to it and ate eensy-weensy portions of a dozen calorie-laden things per meal, I'd go broke buying all that food and tossing it. It simply cannot be done by me.
Of course not. I really don't think that's what people are talking about. I think "I don't give stuff up" means that on the relatively rare occasion that I am really wanting some Chicago style pizza from my favorite place (Pequod's) I will figure out a way to fit it in or go over my calories for that day. I won't think "oh, no, I don't eat pizza any more." But it is of course true that I eat Chicago style pizza less than I used to. This isn't really cutting it out, since the food I eat instead is food I desire and enjoy as much as the pizza, although every once in a while I do really want the pizza instead of anything else.Sometimes, I have to say, "No, can't eat that."
I say that all the time. (Or, really, no, don't want to eat that.) Someone brings in a box of donuts and bagels from Dunkin Donuts. Sure, I'd like a few munchkins or a donut, but I had breakfast and have a plan for the day and don't want it more than the food I'd be displacing from my plan, so I choose not to have it. NOT because I can't have donuts (although if someone chooses to give up donuts I don't care), but because I want more than a donut the delicious balanced lunch I have planned and the dinner I have planned and my evening ice cream. (If someone brought in a super amazing donut or piece of homemade pie, I might decide, on rare occasion, to switch things around to fit it in.)I like what I eat and when I'm tempted to have something very yummy but doesn't work for me, I put it off to the next day.
If you like what you eat, I'd call that eating what you like. I eat mostly nutrient dense foods, but I make sure they are foods I really enjoy and am happily choosing to eat. I think the discussion usually is about people who see the choices as between foods they like, which they perceive as bad, and foods they have to eat to diet (which they often seem not to enjoy that much or to choose based on a preconceived idea of diet foods). My point is usually that you can eat regular foods you love on a weight loss plan.
I get the impression that you focused more on changing your palate as part of this or finding new foods you loved, whereas I mostly ate foods I already was used to and loved, but just did a better job of planning so I could have them around and make them and changing portion sizes or the proportion of veggies to other things, but for me the fundamental make up of my foods hasn't really changed. I use less oil/butter when cooking and cook at home more consistently.
I wasn't suggesting that you feel deprived but that you seem to have a different idea of what "eat what you like" means than I do. I don't think it means eat regularly every food you like, as that's not possible.
I've read before about what you do. It's a very thoughtful approach, IMO. I always enjoy your posts because I know you're going at this the second time and may have learned extra for it. I'm pretty confident that I won't gain it back. Kinda very. But I know everyone thinks that and I don't want to be too cocky. So I'm always especially interested to hear what you have to say. You and anyone else who did and regained: what they learned, what they do differently, WHY they regained (not "life happened" - life didn't shove food down your throat, KWIM?) and why they think this time will be different.
I had to change my palate. I was raised on an extremely unhealthy diet and when the doctor put me on a special diet that consisted mostly of dust and sand and little bits of Kleenex, I had to find some way to make things taste better. I was like, "I cannot eat one more piece of baked chicken!" So, I did. Necessity being the mother of invention, I tried new foods and learned to make stuff I like out of what I was allowed, which wasn't freaking much. Mixing, spicing, etc.
I don't love everything I eat and I don't eat everything I love, but I like what I do.
Still, it means I have to push off the Dunkin Donuts sometimes. I can't work everything in, so some stuff had to go. I'm fine with that. I don't feel deprived, I won't lose all control of myself and binge, lol, and I won't cry about it. I'll just push it off for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. 0 -
I don't know what other people are doing. I gave up trying to understand wth most people are talking about because it turned into a mess and I never got a real answer. I just know some people give up nothing. I don't even ask people what they mean by "clean" or "in moderation" anymore, lol.lemurcat12 wrote: »I know you read here, so you know there are people who give nothing up. They can work in every single food they like on a regular basis and never, ever deny themselves anything except, maybe, a larger portion. It works for them and it's a great thing! Everything that works is great, IMO.
Sure, some people have super high calorie limits.
Lots of people (like me) have more moderate calorie limits, yet will say we don't give anything up, because, well, we don't. But that doesn't mean I eat every food I really like regularly. I didn't eat every food I really liked regularly when I was fat either. (I love homemade pie, but I'm the main one who would have to bake it and I'm fundamentally lazy when it comes to baking. I love prime rib but make it like once a year, on Christmas.)
I don't think saying "I don't give anything up" means that you necessarily eat high calorie foods all the time any more than saying "I don't watch calories" ever meant that I ate 4 lunches.I simply cannot work them all in. There's no way in heaven or hell that I could do it. Even if I committed to it and ate eensy-weensy portions of a dozen calorie-laden things per meal, I'd go broke buying all that food and tossing it. It simply cannot be done by me.
Of course not. I really don't think that's what people are talking about. I think "I don't give stuff up" means that on the relatively rare occasion that I am really wanting some Chicago style pizza from my favorite place (Pequod's) I will figure out a way to fit it in or go over my calories for that day. I won't think "oh, no, I don't eat pizza any more." But it is of course true that I eat Chicago style pizza less than I used to. This isn't really cutting it out, since the food I eat instead is food I desire and enjoy as much as the pizza, although every once in a while I do really want the pizza instead of anything else.Sometimes, I have to say, "No, can't eat that."
I say that all the time. (Or, really, no, don't want to eat that.) Someone brings in a box of donuts and bagels from Dunkin Donuts. Sure, I'd like a few munchkins or a donut, but I had breakfast and have a plan for the day and don't want it more than the food I'd be displacing from my plan, so I choose not to have it. NOT because I can't have donuts (although if someone chooses to give up donuts I don't care), but because I want more than a donut the delicious balanced lunch I have planned and the dinner I have planned and my evening ice cream. (If someone brought in a super amazing donut or piece of homemade pie, I might decide, on rare occasion, to switch things around to fit it in.)I like what I eat and when I'm tempted to have something very yummy but doesn't work for me, I put it off to the next day.
If you like what you eat, I'd call that eating what you like. I eat mostly nutrient dense foods, but I make sure they are foods I really enjoy and am happily choosing to eat. I think the discussion usually is about people who see the choices as between foods they like, which they perceive as bad, and foods they have to eat to diet (which they often seem not to enjoy that much or to choose based on a preconceived idea of diet foods). My point is usually that you can eat regular foods you love on a weight loss plan.
I get the impression that you focused more on changing your palate as part of this or finding new foods you loved, whereas I mostly ate foods I already was used to and loved, but just did a better job of planning so I could have them around and make them and changing portion sizes or the proportion of veggies to other things, but for me the fundamental make up of my foods hasn't really changed. I use less oil/butter when cooking and cook at home more consistently.
I wasn't suggesting that you feel deprived but that you seem to have a different idea of what "eat what you like" means than I do. I don't think it means eat regularly every food you like, as that's not possible.
I've read before about what you do. It's a very thoughtful approach, IMO. I always enjoy your posts because I know you're going at this the second time and may have learned extra for it. I'm pretty confident that I won't gain it back. Kinda very. But I know everyone thinks that and I don't want to be too cocky. So I'm always especially interested to hear what you have to say. You and anyone else who did and regained: what they learned, what they do differently, WHY they regained (not "life happened" - life didn't shove food down your throat, KWIM?) and why they think this time will be different.
I had to change my palate. I was raised on an extremely unhealthy diet and when the doctor put me on a special diet that consisted mostly of dust and sand and little bits of Kleenex, I had to find some way to make things taste better. I was like, "I cannot eat one more piece of baked chicken!" So, I did. Necessity being the mother of invention, I tried new foods and learned to make stuff I like out of what I was allowed, which wasn't freaking much. Mixing, spicing, etc.
I don't love everything I eat and I don't eat everything I love, but I like what I do.
Still, it means I have to push off the Dunkin Donuts sometimes. I can't work everything in, so some stuff had to go. I'm fine with that. I don't feel deprived, I won't lose all control of myself and binge, lol, and I won't cry about it. I'll just push it off for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
So basically you are doing what lots of us do...decide if you want it bad enough, love it enough to fit it in...
I love Tim Horton's Sausage Breakfast sandwich made with a buttermilk biscuit...do I eat it everyday...nope.
But I fit it in when I really want one...just like you do...so basically you've been arguing the same thing...0 -
I like to remind myself of a quote that really changed my thinking in regards to binge eating or just snacking in general, which is "discipline is the choice between what you want now and what you want most". every time I'm about to grab some chips and boredom eat or go for seconds when I dont need it, I just think of that and the desire for that food goes right away.0
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I don't know what other people are doing. I gave up trying to understand wth most people are talking about because it turned into a mess and I never got a real answer. I just know some people give up nothing. I don't even ask people what they mean by "clean" or "in moderation" anymore, lol.lemurcat12 wrote: »I know you read here, so you know there are people who give nothing up. They can work in every single food they like on a regular basis and never, ever deny themselves anything except, maybe, a larger portion. It works for them and it's a great thing! Everything that works is great, IMO.
Sure, some people have super high calorie limits.
Lots of people (like me) have more moderate calorie limits, yet will say we don't give anything up, because, well, we don't. But that doesn't mean I eat every food I really like regularly. I didn't eat every food I really liked regularly when I was fat either. (I love homemade pie, but I'm the main one who would have to bake it and I'm fundamentally lazy when it comes to baking. I love prime rib but make it like once a year, on Christmas.)
I don't think saying "I don't give anything up" means that you necessarily eat high calorie foods all the time any more than saying "I don't watch calories" ever meant that I ate 4 lunches.I simply cannot work them all in. There's no way in heaven or hell that I could do it. Even if I committed to it and ate eensy-weensy portions of a dozen calorie-laden things per meal, I'd go broke buying all that food and tossing it. It simply cannot be done by me.
Of course not. I really don't think that's what people are talking about. I think "I don't give stuff up" means that on the relatively rare occasion that I am really wanting some Chicago style pizza from my favorite place (Pequod's) I will figure out a way to fit it in or go over my calories for that day. I won't think "oh, no, I don't eat pizza any more." But it is of course true that I eat Chicago style pizza less than I used to. This isn't really cutting it out, since the food I eat instead is food I desire and enjoy as much as the pizza, although every once in a while I do really want the pizza instead of anything else.Sometimes, I have to say, "No, can't eat that."
I say that all the time. (Or, really, no, don't want to eat that.) Someone brings in a box of donuts and bagels from Dunkin Donuts. Sure, I'd like a few munchkins or a donut, but I had breakfast and have a plan for the day and don't want it more than the food I'd be displacing from my plan, so I choose not to have it. NOT because I can't have donuts (although if someone chooses to give up donuts I don't care), but because I want more than a donut the delicious balanced lunch I have planned and the dinner I have planned and my evening ice cream. (If someone brought in a super amazing donut or piece of homemade pie, I might decide, on rare occasion, to switch things around to fit it in.)I like what I eat and when I'm tempted to have something very yummy but doesn't work for me, I put it off to the next day.
If you like what you eat, I'd call that eating what you like. I eat mostly nutrient dense foods, but I make sure they are foods I really enjoy and am happily choosing to eat. I think the discussion usually is about people who see the choices as between foods they like, which they perceive as bad, and foods they have to eat to diet (which they often seem not to enjoy that much or to choose based on a preconceived idea of diet foods). My point is usually that you can eat regular foods you love on a weight loss plan.
I get the impression that you focused more on changing your palate as part of this or finding new foods you loved, whereas I mostly ate foods I already was used to and loved, but just did a better job of planning so I could have them around and make them and changing portion sizes or the proportion of veggies to other things, but for me the fundamental make up of my foods hasn't really changed. I use less oil/butter when cooking and cook at home more consistently.
I wasn't suggesting that you feel deprived but that you seem to have a different idea of what "eat what you like" means than I do. I don't think it means eat regularly every food you like, as that's not possible.
I've read before about what you do. It's a very thoughtful approach, IMO. I always enjoy your posts because I know you're going at this the second time and may have learned extra for it. I'm pretty confident that I won't gain it back. Kinda very. But I know everyone thinks that and I don't want to be too cocky. So I'm always especially interested to hear what you have to say. You and anyone else who did and regained: what they learned, what they do differently, WHY they regained (not "life happened" - life didn't shove food down your throat, KWIM?) and why they think this time will be different.
I had to change my palate. I was raised on an extremely unhealthy diet and when the doctor put me on a special diet that consisted mostly of dust and sand and little bits of Kleenex, I had to find some way to make things taste better. I was like, "I cannot eat one more piece of baked chicken!" So, I did. Necessity being the mother of invention, I tried new foods and learned to make stuff I like out of what I was allowed, which wasn't freaking much. Mixing, spicing, etc.
I don't love everything I eat and I don't eat everything I love, but I like what I do.
Still, it means I have to push off the Dunkin Donuts sometimes. I can't work everything in, so some stuff had to go. I'm fine with that. I don't feel deprived, I won't lose all control of myself and binge, lol, and I won't cry about it. I'll just push it off for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
Kalikel--- I totally get it. Thanks for the post of what has worked for you. I struggle with similar LOVE of food AND huge variety- it is indeed infinite...0 -
Good tip!0
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115Everest wrote: »So lately when I am craving something that will send me flying over my calorie limit or is just plain bad for me to have that day (or any day), as soon as I identify it, I write whatever it is down and say to myself "When I am at my goal weight, if I still want it, I can have it." For whatever reason, it allows me to move on without giving in. In fact I move on almost as soon as I jot it down.
It just hit me how helpful doing this has been, and people are often asking for tips to help them stay on task, so I thought I would share it in case it helps anyone else power through a craving.
I think this tip could be very helpful. The point is not waiting until your goal weight to have a treat, but to get rid of the craving. Writing it down is a good tool to "exorcise the demon". Of course you can budget treats into your day. I personally need to avoid triggers.. Thanks for posting ---0 -
Im sorry but im stuck on the comments that ppl think theyll get "all this extra "food once they start to maintain. That isnt how it always works. I got an extra 135calories when i started to maintain. Lol...so there still isn't a lot of extra calories to play with for some. Thats exactly why i couldn't have been someone that could hold off having ice cream until maitaince, i just fit it in my day when i could.0
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With certain foods I do this too.. Most things I will work in but some things that I crave may cause a binge. Things I really love such as cake, pie, cookies, fudge... I just can't have a normal serving and be good with it. So it's better to wait for another time when I am stronger.0
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thorsmom01 wrote: »Im sorry but im stuck on the comments that ppl think theyll get "all this extra "food once they start to maintain. That isnt how it always works. I got an extra 135calories when i started to maintain. Lol...so there still isn't a lot of extra calories to play with for some. Thats exactly why i couldn't have been someone that could hold off having ice cream until maitaince, i just fit it in my day when i could.
Yah I hear you...as you lose weight your maintenance goes down it's just a fact hence why I get to add in a coffee...that's it...maybe some ice cream in the summer when I am more active but otherwise it's not a huge jump.
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