the opposite of support id say

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bigislandgrrl
bigislandgrrl Posts: 196 Member
in Motivation and Support
I dont understand why some of the mfp community come in here to bag on people in a public forum. Of course it would be assinine for me to suggest that people not judge others, but human nature shall prevail.
I for one, came here for support, and people that will hold me accountable for my behaviors that have gotten me to where I am. What I didnt come here for, was passive aggressive comments posted chastizing people for what you deem to be unsatisfactory.
I have lost weight and gained it back so many times Ive forgotten. Ive known all kinds of folks as well and what I can say is that people are different. What works for one, doesnt necessarily work for another. I think we are all on a path to better ourselves, but we dont need comments from the peanut gallery about "oh, some people are not eating all their calories, and their friends congratulate them for it, it makes me so sad", or "I cant belive some of the things people are eating.", and any other judgmental comments and remarks that are probably better kept to yourselves.
Thats fine if you want to obsess over what others are eating, how much and when. Personally, Im doing just fine obsessing over that for myself, but thanks for the added concentration! But oh wait, whats going on with you? Have you forgotten about you??
I also think some of these folks are just down right jealous that some are able to eat some fun things and still tick off some pounds. I say, more power to em, I would if I could, but for now, ILL DO WHAT WORKS FOR ME!
Thanks for allowing my rant!
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Replies

  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    Nice post Im in 99.9% agreement lol
  • SilentRenegade
    SilentRenegade Posts: 245 Member
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    Too bad there isn't a "like" option on this site. I definitely agree with you!
  • erinnicolette
    erinnicolette Posts: 22
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    Is there a way to report a negative person like that? We are here to support each other- no matter how many times some fall off the band wagon- yes, we knew it was wrong, and NO, we don't need you to put us down- right? I'm on your side gf!
  • ♥AngelKisses♥
    ♥AngelKisses♥ Posts: 86
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    :drinker: Cheers darling! I eat processed "crap" and chocolate and as long as I am still losing I'm ok with that. I get kinda down when I read other people talking about how horrible processed foods are and what not. But I try to just let it roll off my back.. BUT again I agree whole heartedly!
  • shalynna89
    shalynna89 Posts: 324 Member
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    Completely Agree!!!
  • Sunshine_Girlie
    Sunshine_Girlie Posts: 618 Member
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    While it's great to have a bunch of support and I see where you're coming from, if I am having a rough day, it's nice to know that people are looking at what I'm putting in my body. When I add someone, I don't mind them giving me their opinion and input. If I don't agree, I simply let them know. If it's that big of a deal, I'll delete them.

    Just make sure you keep your friend list to the people who truly support you and your needs. :]
    And as for forums, just ignore their remarks.
  • Lindz2323
    Lindz2323 Posts: 261 Member
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    I definitely agree with you!! Great point!
  • bigislandgrrl
    bigislandgrrl Posts: 196 Member
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    Thanks girls! After posting I was asking myself if maybe I was just being over sensitive. I can be a bit emotional at times.
  • anitamartina
    anitamartina Posts: 18
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    Amen Sister!

    Maybe you can block those who are snarky so you don't have to hear them? I'm not really sure how the mechanics of this software work, but there could be some privacy stuff to do to keep the jealous ones out of your food and exercise diary.

    From how you describe their actions and remarks, they sure sound like they're in junior high. :grumble:

    Take care.

    -Anita :happy:
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
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    So I have to "support" the girl eating at McDonald's every day and logging in "cleaning" as her only exercise, otherwise I'm evil. Wow.
  • srp2011
    srp2011 Posts: 1,829 Member
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    If the comments are just petty, I would agree with you, and I don't know all of the comments you are referring to, but I think some of the comments are actually more supportive than the mindless rah-rah-ing that is considered "support". How is it supporting someone to let them continue to think that they are eating healthy when they are not? It may be harsh, but sometimes people need a wake-up call. Sure, they may feel great if you tell them a 3 month "plateau" is just water weight or that they are building muscle, but when the truth is they're frequently eating junk and going over their calorie count, how is that really helping them? Maybe some people are genuinely concerned about people who aren't eating enough, or are continuing unhealthy eating habits, and are concerned about other people encouraging their unhealthy habits, or are concerned with some of the misinformation that unfortunately gets passed around in open forums like this.
  • StabR80
    StabR80 Posts: 320 Member
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    So I have to "support" the girl eating at McDonald's every day and logging in "cleaning" as her only exercise, otherwise I'm evil. Wow.

    Maybe she is a mother of 4 kids ages 5 and under and has her activity level set to sedentary. That may be the only "exercise" she gets most days outside of chasing her kids around all day. :blushing:
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
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    So I have to "support" the girl eating at McDonald's every day and logging in "cleaning" as her only exercise, otherwise I'm evil. Wow.

    Maybe she is a mother of 4 kids ages 5 and under and has her activity level set to sedentary. That may be the only "exercise" she gets most days outside of chasing her kids around all day. :blushing:
    i

    I actually agree, that hypothetical "she" might only get that exercise... some people are that busy. But she eats ONLY, EXCLUSIVELY crap at the same time... I mean, where's the effort? And to be honest I feel for her kids.
    I just deleted someone like that from my page, it made me want to shoot myself every time I read her updates.

    So... not so hypothetical after all :laugh:
  • StabR80
    StabR80 Posts: 320 Member
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    So I have to "support" the girl eating at McDonald's every day and logging in "cleaning" as her only exercise, otherwise I'm evil. Wow.

    Maybe she is a mother of 4 kids ages 5 and under and has her activity level set to sedentary. That may be the only "exercise" she gets most days outside of chasing her kids around all day. :blushing:
    i



    I actually agree, that hypothetical "she" might only get that exercise... some people are that busy. But she eats ONLY, EXCLUSIVELY crap at the same time... I mean, where's the effort? And to be honest I feel for her kids.
    I just deleted someone like that from my page, it made me want to shoot myself every time I read her updates.

    So... not so hypothetical after all :laugh:

    I get ya! :bigsmile:
  • paulaGetshealthy
    paulaGetshealthy Posts: 464
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    I love this.
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
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    I actually feel that the majority of people on MFP are genuine, polite and sensitive people. Are their exceptions? Of course! But if you compare he boards here, to most others, the degree of civility is much higher than usual.

    But people are still people. Some are not as well mannered, and part of being in a community is learning to deal with people who have opposing views.

    Personally, I just (figuratively) walk away from these and realize that they are not part of my life... Unless I choose to allow them to affecte emotional state - and that is so not worth it!
  • bigislandgrrl
    bigislandgrrl Posts: 196 Member
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    I guess a point I failed to make was that IM HERE to be held accountable, so CALL ME ON IT! If you think Im eating crap, or NOT eating enough calories, say so. Dont hide behind some snide public remark so that girls already low on self esteem can worry about whether this idiot is talking about them... I notice this site is predominantly women, and many I would venture to assume are trying to build a better body image while they build a better body.
    As far as I can see, there is no benefit to what I described above.
    Now to address the support of the girl eating at McDs. I never once said you should support someone making choices that YOU deem right or wrong in any way. What I said was to either call the person on it, or keep it to yourself. No need to create an environment of paranoia. It reminds me of more than a few "catty" offices Ive worked in before. Its not a pleasant environment.
  • bigislandgrrl
    bigislandgrrl Posts: 196 Member
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    I guess a point I failed to make was that IM HERE to be held accountable, so CALL ME ON IT! If you think Im eating crap, or NOT eating enough calories, say so. Dont hide behind some snide public remark so that girls already low on self esteem can worry about whether this idiot is talking about them... I notice this site is predominantly women, and many I would venture to assume are trying to build a better body image while they build a better body.
    As far as I can see, there is no benefit to what I described above.
    Now to address the support of the girl eating at McDs. I never once said you should support someone making choices that YOU deem right or wrong in any way. What I said was to either call the person on it, or keep it to yourself. No need to create an environment of paranoia. It reminds me of more than a few "catty" offices Ive worked in before. Its not a pleasant environment.
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
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    I guess a point I failed to make was that IM HERE to be held accountable, so CALL ME ON IT! If you think Im eating crap, or NOT eating enough calories, say so. Dont hide behind some snide public remark so that girls already low on self esteem can worry about whether this idiot is talking about them... I notice this site is predominantly women, and many I would venture to assume are trying to build a better body image while they build a better body.
    As far as I can see, there is no benefit to what I described above.
    Now to address the support of the girl eating at McDs. I never once said you should support someone making choices that YOU deem right or wrong in any way. What I said was to either call the person on it, or keep it to yourself. No need to create an environment of paranoia. It reminds me of more than a few "catty" offices Ive worked in before. Its not a pleasant environment.

    Got you now. I actually DID tell her directly; I'm like that...
    I thought you were the kind (of which there are also many here) that want people to applaud every time they do... well... nothing. Now it's clear you aren't... awesome :love:
  • srp2011
    srp2011 Posts: 1,829 Member
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    I get what you're saying now and agree with you completely. I always point it out directly to the person. I just don't believe in applauding poor choices for the sake of being warm and fuzzy :-)

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