Hanging out with friends just ruins all the calorie counting!

self discipline...you either want to lose the weight or you don't...there is nothing we can do to help you with that...other than tell you to just do it...

are they holding you down and shoving food in your mouth? no? well then say no thanks and keep enjoying their company. You control what goes in your body - it has nothing to do with anyone else.

It can take a lot of time and discomfort to avoid structuring social events around food -- it's a totally normal thing in our culture, and as someone who loves cooking for friends, I'm a fan.

That said, the best way to cope with this is to do something to keep yourself from eating (keep a glass of water in hand, sit away from the snacks, whatever works best for you) or just be honest with your friends that you're trying to lose weight and have trouble resisting certain snacks.

On the other hand, you can also either accept that you're going to go over your calorie goals (I do sometimes on D&D night) or eat light on days you know you're going to be hanging out with friends so that you have adequate room for dining out/snacking/drinks. (Whatever your social group's thing is.)

Overall, it'll come down to just deciding to deal with the discomfort of breaking a habit. It'll take time, but you'll get there if you just keep working at it.

mleneis wrote: »

Wow. There are some seriously narky people posting here. Is today "Tough Love Tuesday"? It's a legitimate problem with a complex psychological background.

I totally agree. Be nice people!! This game of weight loss is mostly psychological, I believe. If it were easy to be fit and healthy, don't you think more people would be?? The reasons people get heavy and unhealthy are widely varied and very complicated. I struggle with the same problem when I am around my friends. And funny thing is, most of my friends are very thin and very fit. The problem does lie with me (and oh boy, do I have a host of problems when it comes to food), however the context of our get-togethers does involve food, 99% of the time. This is just basic human social behavior. Lately, what I've found helpful is to suggest meeting for more active activities, such as a walk, bike ride, or just being outside. Unfortunately there is no magic bullet with this stuff, just gotta keep trying, and if you fall off the wagon, don't throw in the towel. Just climb back on.

If your eating behavior is more extreme, I can suggest something that I did when I quit smoking (and it isn't the most attractive option): basically just become antisocial and stop hanging out with the people that trigger you until you can get some defense strategies in place. It takes a while, and you deserve that time to get yourself healthy, both physically and mentally. Just remember, food is just as powerful as a drug. Put yourself first.

I had that problem when I first started this, but I just had to sit my friends & family down & say, I need your help with this. Instead of hanging out at someone's house eating pizza let's go for a hike or go throw horseshoes or go to a movie or go to a local craft fair or something. Anything that doesn't revolve around food. My family are the worst offenders, it's like they're allergic to vegetables. They're Polish so it's all about sausage & cheese & beer & other terrible things. Since I know they're not going to change their ways any time soon I make sure to bring something healthy to our family functions & then sit as far away from the food as possible. It's not easy, but you can do it!

And the snarky people who say too bad, eat less: get off your high horse, she asked for a little advise, not your sanctimonious b.s. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem & ask for help, stop shaming her for doing so.

Sorry, gotta weigh in (haha). I was wining once and someone said to me "this isn't hard, losing a loved one is hard, natural child birth is hard, this isn't hard!!". That stuck in my mind since I know the difficulty of natural child birth (3 X's) and losing a loved one (too many X's) and I just keep thinking of that when my mind thinks it's going to take over my will power. Hope it helps.

self control...exercise it.

i very much enjoy hanging with my friends and social events...and I enjoy eating at these types events as well...but I eat a reasonable portion of food...just because theirs food out on a platter doesn't mean you have to eat all the food...eat a reasonable portion and move on.

I gave up alcohol & went very clean eating back in December.

I am going through this same scenario this summer...we spend every weekend at the beach with a group of partying friends. Eating, drinking & eating some more. Because that's what you do at the beach. Ugh! I spent the last few months worrying if I was going to have self-control. Proud to say that I have remained alcohol & junk food free. I have actually surprised myself.

1. Talk to your friends about your weight loss goals and strategies including why it is important to you so that they understand that you may make some different choices when you are out with them.
2. Suggest scheduling more active outings - going for walks, hikes, bike rides - instead of or in addition to doing things that exclusively revolve around food and/or alcohol.
3. Plan ahead. I'm guessing that most of your outings with your friends are not completely spontaneous, "hey let's meet at the mexican restaurant in 20 minutes for chips, salsa, margaritas and giant burritos". If you have plans a couple of days ahead of time, you can bank some calories every day, make lighter choices the day of the event, and exercise a little more to give yourself more calories to work with.
4. Make better choices when you are out with them. Just because you go to that mexican restaurant, doesn't mean you have to have all of the things I listed above. Look online and get a rough idea of calorie counts before you go - being armed with a plan of what you might order makes it easier to avoid the temptation of "ZOMG they have fried cheesesticks that sounds so awesome right now!"
5. Instead of going out = have a girls night in. It's a lot easier to plan for and control the calories when you are cooking at home, plus it is cheaper and you can wear yoga pants and servers don't keep interrupting you...

I have great friends and we love eating in nice restaurants and drinking good wine. But what we love more than that is hanging out and catching up with each other - regardless of the activity or what food and drink is in front of us.