overweight bulimic/ binge eater, clinically depressed doesnt

freakybeanie
freakybeanie Posts: 6
edited September 27 in Introduce Yourself
Ok, so hi, I am 36 and have had depression for 23yrs, now being assessed for Bipolar disorder.
I used to be slim until I had kids, and for last 15 year have swung between being overweight/binge eating/ average weight/bulimic. It's worse since my marriage breakup and I now live alone. I binge most nights and 5/7 throw up. but my weight is creeping up so trying not to purge is not helping in that respect. :indifferent:
I'm tired, I'm lost and I'm lonely and I don't know what to focus on first. I have only been on this site for a few days, but have found recording my food has helped a bit already.

Replies

  • registers
    registers Posts: 782 Member
    Focus on bettering your self, your diet will help all the areas you mentioned. If you're not in a good mental state you can't help other people around you.
  • Kirsty_UK
    Kirsty_UK Posts: 964 Member
    Welcome to MFP. I hope you find it a supportive environment. My advice - baby steps! Don't look at everything you want to achieve, it will seem too huge, focus on little goals, one day at a time. And if you don't do as well as you'd hoped one day, it does not mean you've failed. Pick yourself up, and try and do better the next day.
  • CarolMorris66
    CarolMorris66 Posts: 59
    Urm, are we related?? You could be talking about me.... its hard, very hard.... I have been anorexic and bulemic, no lets talk past tense, I WAS anorexic and bulemic for many years, 15 or so? Reason, an unhappy marriage, violent husband, low, very low self esteem, to the point I absolutely hated myself... but you can move on... I did, I have and boy, how good do I feel now.

    At my worse I was 6st 7lbs :-o I am 5ft 9inches tall and of medium frame... I was underweight, and it wasn't until my ex beat me up once and I had no choice but to run that I was found a weeping wreck and taken to casulty and I was 'found out'... moving on several years, I am now 10st 10lbs, same height :-) and happy... infact getting married in 4 weeks to a wonderful guy who has been a god send!

    It can be done... it takes time,.. and more than time or anything else, you have got to do it for YOU! Nobody else. Not the kids, not the dog, not for a man... for YOU!

    Add me as a friend if you want and I will try to support you the best I can, but please.. take it from me... its not worth the pain you are suffering. Pull yourself out of it and move on. I did and I am proof that it can be done. I had been told that I had less that one year to live because of the damage I had done to my internal organs.... 6 years on, I am about to take part in the UK Trailwalker challenge which is walking solid, 62 miles in less than 30 hours with nothing more than 10 minute breaks....

    So without being harsh, cos that is sometimes what you need... Pick yourself up.. brush yourself down and Pull yourself together and get better..... :-) Help is here!

    Carol xx
  • lanenalatina
    lanenalatina Posts: 239 Member
    Welcome to MFP. I hope you find it a supportive environment. My advice - baby steps! Don't look at everything you want to achieve, it will seem too huge, focus on little goals, one day at a time. And if you don't do as well as you'd hoped one day, it does not mean you've failed. Pick yourself up, and try and do better the next day.

    I think u should focus on ur kids they should be ur most priority motivation and I agree with whar Kristy_UK said too good luck and keep up the good work:flowerforyou:
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    HUGE hug hun, I know the joys of depression, that bl**dy black dog just refuses to obey! :mad:

    The illness is horrible, but remember YOU are NOT horrible. You deserve to be happy and healthy! For all the helpful advice people offer with depression, as you're probably found, the best way to deal with it is just to work through it yourself. It took me a very long time to realise what was making me depressed, thus causing me to eat for England!

    Keeping a food diary is great, it means that you can see everything that you're eating, which obviously gives you a great feeling of control, and stops the guilt that you have eaten too much thus want to purge, as you can see that you are eating healthy amounts.

    I've sent you a friend request too :flowerforyou: We're here to hold your hand when things look bleak and I'm sure there are lots of us here who have dealt with depression, an eating disorder or a combination of both at one point or another, so you'll never be alone :smooched:
  • helloiloveukitty
    helloiloveukitty Posts: 448 Member
    This is somewhat cliche but there IS light at the end of the tunnel doll, anything youre doing and feeling right now can change and become healthy and happy and wonderful but it is a lot of hard work to change those attitudes and habits but you are totally worth it! Youre here, you seem to want to change and I know you have the strength to do it, like you said being here has already helped.
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
    i hope you are under a doctors care. that is probably the first step you need to take.

    things go hand in hand..you need to feel good enough to get motivated to make your body healthy.

    healthy mind, healthy body.
  • freakybeanie
    freakybeanie Posts: 6
    Wow, thanks everyone!
    @carolah I was under 7st when I split up with a previous abusive partner, the in 'joke' was I didn't need to eat today as I'd had a cornflake and teaspoon of milk three days before.
    I can't believe I am not the other end of the spectrum.
    @lanenalatina I try, but they live with their father, and the depression doesn't help with 'bad Mum' feelings etc, but thank you
    @xraychick yes I am and am currently being 're assessed ' as my GP thinks I may have been mis diagnosed and am actually Bipolar, so another change in meds.

    I have stopped drinking alcohol this year, as that didn't help anything at all.
    So deep breath, baby steps and here we go.....
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