Ive been trying for years & i just cant do it

You can do this. Knowledge is power. You do have to figure out what works for you. What worked for me was finding out how much I actually ate, and how many calories were in what I ate. Food logging and informed choices have helped me lose 75 pounds in the past year.

How much control do you have in terms of your food choices? Do you feel you have to eat whatever someone else fixes, or can you choose the foods and the preparation?

The greater the extent to which you can make healthy choices in terms of what you eat and how it is prepared, the easier this will be.

Find the power you do have, embrace it, and maximize it. Don't worry about the gym. How much can you build in walking? Is it practicable to adopt strategies like parking farther away, getting off the bus at a more distant stop, etc.? You might be surprised at how fast little things add up.

And - sadly - the maxim that you cannot out-exercise your "fork lift" is (in my experience) pretty much true. You don't need to make artificially low-fat or non-fat choices to make healthy choices, but content and volume do matter. Weight loss pretty much does start with what is on your plate.

A determined mind can do anything! Believe in yourself! You look beautiful in your profile pic. Start by going for walks. I found walking with my music playing was therapeutic and very relaxing. I'm so sorry for the bullying.

There is lots of good advice here-- remember, the haters and bullies are telling a truth about themselves when they bully you or criticize you, not about YOU. It is easy to get overwhelmed when you first start out-- I spent two weeks tracking my food regularly before I even tried to lose weight. It was completely eye opening! I was mostly eating healthy stuff, but way, way too much of it. Just being accountable to myself to really look at what I was eating led to better choices. Although it can seem boring and time consuming to weigh and measure your food and to only eat a single portion size, even those changes can make a huge difference. I highly recommend Judith Beck's "The Beck Diet Solution" and "The Diet Trap Solution". Not a diet, but ways to change your thinking process so that it easier to stay motivated.