On "ability" (especially athletic)

I've only been here a little while, but something that has struck a chord with me is seeing posters who feel that, because they find starting an exercising program extremely difficult, that maybe they cannot (as in, are not capable) do that exercise. They fear they can't run, or lift, or use the machines, or follow this or that program, because when they try, they are struggling and failing, or getting so sore that they have trouble moving the next day.

It seems to me that people tend to vastly over-estimate how much natural talent and athletic ability come into play with exercise, while they simultaneously underestimate how much of exercise and athleticism is based on skill-building, muscle memory, and muscular adaptation over time.

My mother always drops out of group classes within a few weeks because she personally feels humiliated when she sees other people in the class "getting it faster" than she does. To her mind, she is not very capable of learning physical tasks, so she backs away and stops learning. And she had done this all her life, having always felt less capable than her peers. I, too, have often felt that I was not gifted in terms of my physical coordination. I certainly was--for many years--a 'weakling' (97 lbs at 5'4ish", slight frame, and the amount of muscle that you'd expect from that).

But I have learned something over time which gives me a big advantage over my mother. I have come to realize that there is actually a lot of skill and knowledge involved in working out. Skills and knowledge that you can build over time. If you get involved in one kind of physical activity and stick it out, you'll get better at moving your body, learning steps, following a teacher's movement. If you stick with one kind of exercise (walking, swimming), you'll gradually build a base of fitness that will make each new physical task a little bit easier.

I have realized that I did myself a great disservice for the first 27-30 years of my life by telling myself that I was not athletic. It means that I did not build that base of skills and body knowledge. When I go into a class, I am learning things for the first time, whereas some of the other people there have encountered those moves before and have the muscle memory that allows them to execute moves with much less mental effort. I had less of a base to build on. But in the last seven or eight years, I have cycled through various kinds of activities (pilates, yoga, weight machines, kickboxing, running, dance), and to my great pleasure I have found that each new thing I start is a little easier than it was a few years ago. I have developed body awareness, I have learned how to better mimic others' movements, my muscles "remember" various kinds of movements so I don't have to stumble and think about them anymore. I have a more solid base of strength and endurance.

I want to encourage everyone here to reframe their thoughts about exercising and sports. It really isn't about raw talent. Yes, there are some people who seem a bit quicker, and some people naturally tackle physical tasks with greater ease. But for most, it is an accumulation of skill over time. This "ability" is not innate, it is cultivated. If you are lucky, perhaps you've been developing it since childhood. If you are like me, you had to wait until adulthood. But it isn't too late. I promise. You don't have to be like my mother, always convinced that she's just not good at that stuff (because she was born that way). That attitude robs you of so many opportunities!

I invite you to embrace it when exercise is challenging. When a movement feels unnatural, unfamiliar, or awkward. It means you are adding something to your skillset. You are learning a new way of moving (that, if you keep practicing, you'll never forget). You are building strength. The fact that five or ten minutes is all you can do at the start is not a condemnation of your ability. It's an achievement, something to build upon.

Give yourself time. I know it is uncomfortable to feel like you are failing, but it is through repetition and practice that you'll reach that place of ease.

Good luck.