Body image issues after weight loss?

First of all: You are not crazy. And you are not alone.

However. I don't think that seeing a therapist would be a bad idea. A large part is mental and losing that much weight is a big deal. It could really help to talk through things with someone who is impartial and who can help you feel better about yourself mentally.

Second, you have options. 15 months is not a long time, really, to make such a big change to your body. It sounds crazy but your skin will tighten, you have your youth working for you there. It's not going to be quick but it will start to happen. If it never gets to a point you're happy with surgery is an option as well.

You're working with a trainer so that's good too--(s)he can help you get stronger/tighten up what can be tightened with exercise and muscle toning.

You have done an incredible thing and done it at a young age so that you can live the rest of your life in a healthy, active way. The hard days are going to be hard but don't be afraid to ask for some extra help (therapy) and know that you are still a work in progress.

First of all, the GREAT news is that you're 19. That means you have the best possible chances for your skin to shrink!

Second, there will be options with surgery, RF, collagen induction therapy, etc., in time if you need it. I do recommend waiting a while--like tow years--to see how much it goes back on its own first.

Making changes to your body won't give you a more loveable body. It just won't. There's no end to the changes that ANYONE could want. Seriously. But if you DO decide to change that thing, know that it's possible, even if it isn't possible to be "perfect."

I've found that some people who start out heavy and have never been thin imagine that they will have a body to love when they get to their goal, but the fact that it has flaws is really upsets them. Or they feel like their body isn't even their own anymore because it looks so different. But love yourself first and be proud of your new strength and health.

MamaBirdBoss wrote: »

First of all, the GREAT news is that you're 19. That means you have the best possible chances for your skin to shrink!

Second, there will be options with surgery, RF, collagen induction therapy, etc., in time if you need it. I do recommend waiting a while--like tow years--to see how much it goes back on its own first.

Making changes to your body won't give you a more loveable body. It just won't. There's no end to the changes that ANYONE could want. Seriously. But if you DO decide to change that thing, know that it's possible, even if it isn't possible to be "perfect."

I've found that some people who start out heavy and have never been thin imagine that they will have a body to love when they get to their goal, but the fact that it has flaws is really upsets them. Or they feel like their body isn't even their own anymore because it looks so different. But love yourself first and be proud of your new strength and health.

This.

Also, you are definitely not alone. Not by a long shot. I'm 30, 250 lbs and every time I look in the mirror, I still see 350lb 16 year old me. I haven't been that big in almost 10 years, but still, it's all I see sometimes.

I agree with most of the other replies - your age is a great bonus for you. Your skin will still be elastic and it will reduce in time, but that's the thing, you must give your body time! I have lost 128 lbs and am definitely living up to my mfp name but I am old (53) and I can't expect my skin to ping back after being over 300 lbs for years. I don't like the saggy skin much but I look much better than I did fat. It does sound as if you need to love yourself (as you are) a little more and you need to be able to feel proud of your progress and learn to accept what you can't change and change what you can. Wishing you all the best!

If your family isn't giving you a good outlet (nothing you are feeling is "crazy" - it may be "emotional" but that's NOT a bad thing - most people have emotions), don't knock going to a therapist, or counselor, or someone else. Therapy can be really awesome and helpful. Don't think of it as a negative. Losing weight is just as much a mental battle as a physical one - everything you're feeling is normal, but you should find someone to talk to. We all need a sounding board, you know?

If you think I'm full of nonsense about people being hard on themselves...

When I was 19, exactly your age, I thought that my thighs were too big (I was a weightlifter--they were bigger than expected for my build partly because of that) and my upper arms were too big (ditto) and I didn't like my nose with a bump or my chubby cheeks that I felt made me look cute rather than pretty. And I didn't like my smile. Plus, clothes never fit right, so that meant that clearly I was wrong.

These weren't BIG things. But I did feel them to the point. And to me that made me not worthy of particular attention from anyone.

But from the distance of age, I know now that I looked INCREDIBLE. And I didn't freaking appreciate it. I was 5'6". Sub-120lbs, but with 32DDs that soon became DDDs and a 23.5" waist and 35.5" hips. I had hair to my butt. I had no cellulite except for a teeeeeny patch on my butt that was visible only when I flexed it. My stomach did not even fold into a wrinkle when I bent over.

When I wore a swimsuit, even a one-piece, heads swiveled on the beach. Men walked into things staring at me. They started cursing under their breath. I was in NROTC and wore the most covering swimsuit I had for the swim test, which covered more than any of the other girls', and even the real officers (not student officers) acted painfully self-conscious around me for weeks after. (And a couple of the girls turned mean.) In form-fitting pants and dresses, same sort of thing.

I considered it a curse to be noticed so much. I mostly avoided figure-hugging clothes and didn't often go to the pool or beach because it was extremely embarrassing.

This is something that I don't talk about and never have where people know my name because it sounds like fake-modesty bragging. It's not. I was so far into my own head that my reality was that warped. I knew when I got dressed to go swimming that no matter what I wore, lots of people were going to stare at me. And a number would even comment. Some woman, at least one, had a good chance of just being nasty to me for no reason, out of the blue. Sometimes it would be someone I thought was a friend. It made me sick to my stomach. I dreaded it.

When I dressed even somewhat nicely and did makeup--heck, even NOW--strangers would/do come up to me out of the blue and complement my appearance. Small children tell/told me I'm beautiful. That started when I was about 13, and even middle school boys would do it into my 20s! For many years, when I saw a guy approaching me in a purposeful way, I'd get a knot in my stomach, afraid that he'd say something about my appearance...because it made me want to melt into the ground and disappear. (Until I started deliberately dressing badly, it happened all the time.) It was acutely, horrifically uncomfortable. Friends cracked jokes about hating me because I was beautiful, but it never once occurred to me that they felt the slightest bit of seriousness beneath it.

In high school, a bunch of people tried to get me on the ballot for homecoming queen. I got myself off. I thought they were either being mean or too nice--and I wasn't even sure which.

For years, I thought, "But my thighs are too big. But my arms look funny. But my knees aren't pretty. But my cheeks look fat. But my nose has a funny little bump. Why are you saying these things?"

It wasn't that I was brainwashed by media images, even. I'd think, "Why is that guy coming to me? X has better hair. Y has a better smile. Z can actually deal with guys without feeling humiliated by the attention."

It wasn't until after I had my second kid about six years ago that I was able to face down guys who blurt out compliments with grace and to be truly happy with who and what I was and not focus on who I wasn't. I'm NOT model material. But I can accept myself as worthy of the attention that some people choose to give me instead of honestly believing that a fair segment of the population seemed to be under a mass delusion when it came to my appearance. (Because that makes TOTAL sense, right?)

My thighs are even bigger, and so are my upper arms. And my cheeks have slimmed down with age, but my nose is the same. But now I'm happy to love those things--and even to accept the natural changes that have come with three babies and a number of years. Yes, I want to get fit and toned. But I want the changes because I want the best for the self that I already love, not to make my body worthy of me loving it. Because nothing, literally nothing, could.