So here's the problem: I can't cook.

You can learn. Anyone can learn to cook basic stuff. Start trying and accept that you're going to screw up and need a fall back plan (sandwiches or take out or something) some nights. That's ok you'll learn from the mistakes too. My hubby brags to friends about what a good cook I am now, but the first year of our marriage had some interesting cooking adventures. (I'm remembering th time I tried to broil salmon, got it too close to the element and set off the smoke alarms in our apt, then broke the blinds trying to get the window open. The salmon was inedible, blacked is an understatement, the apt was filled with smoke and we went out for chinese)

Do you have the kind of relationship with your mom that you could ask her to teach you a few basic dishes? Or a good friend would work too.

I second watching Food Network, specifically Alton Brown, Ina Garten, and Giadia DeLaurents (sp?)

Also, for cooking meat, a good thermometer is a great tool. I have one like this (link at the end of my post) that has the probe at the end of a cord so you can stick it in the meat in the oven and keep the part with the temp reading out of the oven. Mine also has an alarm that you can set to go off when it gets to a specific temp. Dry, tough overcooked meat is nasty and an easy mistake to make. The meat thermometer is an easy fix. Remember the temp will continue to rise a bit after you take it out of the over, so set the temp alarm 5-10 degrees before the temp you want.

Meat thermometer link http://www.amazon.com/Polder-Original-Cooking-Timer-Thermometer/dp/B0000CF5MT/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1306552477&sr=8-13

The two sites I recommend for very easy and healthy cooking are:

www.hungry-girl.com
www.skinnytaste.com

I really like the skinnytaste website because she uses a lot of very basic ingredients that you can just stock your pantry/fridge with and you can make lots of different recipes!

Some of my favorite easy recipes from the hungry girl website that might be a good start are her foil packs and TRIOS (recipes with only 3 ingredients!). You can do a search for those. One word of caution is that a lot of her recipes use processed foods, but she uses a lot of "healthier" processed foods. And let's face it, we can't eat 100% clean all the time!

OK. Put your favorite vinegarette in a skillet (about 1/3 of a cup, but you don't have to measure, just a squiggle in the bottom of the pan is fine.), and you can cook just about any meat in it. Pork and chicken are my favorite. It adds flavor and keeps it moist, and if you have a lid for your skillet, you can cook from frozen without the outside burning, sticking or drying out. If you pour in a little fresh fruit juice, especially a citrus, you'll get a teriyaki flavor (it does tend to stick more to the bottom of the pan because of the sugar though). Veggies, just pour frozen veggies into a tupperware container, throw it in the microwave for 5 minutes. You don't even have to season it. Canned veggies, different story- butter and a sprinkle of season all. You can throw in some almond slices or something like that to dress them up.
You can turn any cream of _____ (chicken, mushroom, potato, tomato, whatever) soup into a sauce by only using half of the milk called for on the directions. Toss some pasta and veggies in it, good to go.
You can make fat free refried beans by just leaving any kind of beans to overcook in your crockpot. Stir them occasionally to keep them from burning, and just let them cook all day on medium or high, the beans will eventually swell to the point of breaking open and go pasty if you keep stirring it about once an hour. Technically bean curd, but tastes and looks like refried beans. Throw some cheese on it, serve it with pico, no one ever knows the difference.