Apathy?

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keladry89
keladry89 Posts: 42 Member
in Motivation and Support
I successfully lost 100 pounds. And then I lost 10 more, and I was at 40% of my body weight. I've gained about 10 pounds back, and I want to continue to lose weight, but I am really struggling. I don't really know. I was so successful at losing weight before, once I got really going, and now, I'm just not. I don't want to log my food, I don't really want to exercise either. I recently joined the YMCA so that is good (because now I feel a financial obligation to go work out, and that really is helpful), and I've been attempting to getting back into logging my food, but I seem to just, not. I don't really know. I don't know what to do. I'm just not motivated? Like obviously, I knew how to lose weight before, so I should be able to do it again if I really want to, right? I find it so hard though. Especially since with my smaller body it is a lot harder to get the same burn at the gym to correct for over eating. I know the eating is the key, but it's been a sore spot lately, I just can't seem to get it under control.

The goal is 164 by October 1, because that seems like totally doable, but I am still concerned that I won't actually do it.

I don't know what exactly I'm expecting to get out of this posting, sorry about that. I just. I need help, but probably just from myself?

Any thoughts, admonishments, encouragements, advice is welcome.

I'm going to go for a jog now. I had been running, but it got too hot. It's cool today so I better go before it heats up. I'm hoping that my Y membership will help with that, too.

Thanks for listening, MFP friends <3

Replies

  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    If you wnat it enough then just get on with it. Maybe you cna settle for a break, change of routine etc but it vecomes a different game when youve done most of the work and its boring. If you wnat it enough then get on with it you know the score. If you cnat be bothered then its not importnat enough to you at the moment.
  • paris458
    paris458 Posts: 229 Member
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    after I lost 40lbs I just couldnt do it anymore. so I just maintained for a few years. I gained back about 10 pounds but after a while I could do it again. sometimes you just need a mental break.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    maybe you need to find a nonscale goal? like to fit in a "pant size" or losing an inch on your waist, or to run for a determined length of time.
  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
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    Motivation isn't a key to success - consistency is. The feeling of "motivation" is a fickle emotional high and the people who rely on this feeling to make smart choices find themselves failing very quickly. (Think of a marriage that was built on both parties believing they always had to feel "butterflies" about each other in order to ensure their love was real. It'd be doomed to failure at that first fight - and if they never argued, it would still fail about six months in when the Honeymoon phase faded away and reality set in.)

    Eating and dieting by our emotional state is exactly what got many of us into trouble in the first place, so one shouldn't rely on "motivation" to drive us to our goals. (Look at all of the "need motivation buddies!" posts on the forum. I bet more than half of those people vanish when they realize that the emotional high they're chasing isn't always going to be there.) Instead, one needs to learn how to make the right choices, even when the right choice is the last thing we want to do.

    So ask yourself, do you still want to lose weight/get fit? If the answer is "yes," then you just need to do it. This isn't meant to get you down or to seem insensitive, but both failure and success depends on the choices we make. Don't feel like logging? Open MFP and do it anyway, even if it's just an estimation (better than nothing). Don't feel like exercising? Put your tenniss shoes on anyway and move somehow. Feel like eating an entire pizza? Close the box. Throw away the left overs. Walk away.

    Once again, not trying to sound insensitive, but this is something that I wish I had learned in the beginning. There have been so many days when I've had to pull myself up through this thing by the scruff of my neck. But every choice I made when I didn't feel like making it has added up to success.
  • discretekim
    discretekim Posts: 314 Member
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    Sometimes you need a break. And it's probably a good idea to learn how to maintain your weight. But this reminds me of something my therapist told me. Someone with an eating disorder often stalls out in their weight recovery ( up or down) when they are approaching a normal size. Have you considered you may have body image issues that makes you self conscious or worried about being seen as attractive by others? You may want to see a therapist.
  • keladry89
    keladry89 Posts: 42 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Tigger: No, I know.

    Paris: Maybe I've had my break? I don't know, I really want to get back into it, but I'm just not doing it very well.

    Moyer: My non-scale goals are to run a marathon next May -I ran the half this year). I'm thinking the best help for that is to sign up for another race in the fall, I was just looking at them and actually almost didn't finish this reply haha.

    I would like to be a size 2-4 (i'm a size 6-8 right now). I'm not sure if my hip and ribs will come in enough for this, but we shall see.

    I'm also working on getting stronger. I need a formal plan for this though as just occasionally lifting some weights isn't really going to do anything. And trying to get my rowing time down and my distance up (I'm at 8:13 for 2000 m as my fastest currently.

    Maniacal: I don't think I use motivation (the word) the way you think? I mean I used to look at having some ice cream and just think, I don't want to eat that more than I want to lose weight. Now, I don't feel that. Motivation for me is the ability to make good choices. I've been doing okay, since I have been motivated at the grocery store. I don't mean motivation like, I NEED TO FIND MY MOTIVATION. I mean, I'm like I want this ice cream and damn the consequences. So... I don't know.

    I know that consistency is key, and when I was successfully managing my weight I would OFTEN just put an estimate of the calories I was eating because I would basically just know. Like at the end of the day I used to be able to tell, like I'm not going to lose weight today, but that's okay I won't gain, based on how hungry I was at the end of the day, or, I'm a little hungry now, this is probably half a pound a weeks worth. I was doing that even after I stopped logging, but I don't have that ability anymore. Probably because I stopped logging? I still have a pretty good idea after I eat something like, oh that felt like 400 calories. It's not the best, but you are right that I could start logging that way and see if I get any results or just give up and go back to real logging.

    kim: I am all ready kind of hot? I'm fairly certain I am a normal size? I mean, I but medium clothes now. I want to be buying small clothes. I get a lot of attention when I go out now, sometimes I feel like I might be the hottest person in the room (which I used to be the fattest person in a room)... Now, HONESTLY this makes me a little uncomfortable, and maybe I do need to do some introspection on that. I'm not saying I don't need therapy, I am saying that I am all ready conventionally attractive.
  • discretekim
    discretekim Posts: 314 Member
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    Lol. Just thought I'd offer the possibility. Also I'm just generally a big proponent of therapy for everyone. Good luck. I hope you reach your goals.

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