Too thin. you've got to stop remarks.

She is ridiculous. I am 5'6" weigh 158 and am trying to lose weight and I'm not too thin.

You don't need to tell her off, to let her know its not a subject you want to discuss anymore. Go to her directly, and bluntly/convincingly tell her it is not a subject for discussion anymore, if she is going to continue to be negative. Let her know what the repercussions will be if she continues ( disassociation ), and follow thru if she does not comply.

playmadcats wrote: »

Firstly I'm 5 6' high and weigh 165 at the moment. Goal is 140-150 and then may tweak from there.
Am getting the too thin remarks off two or three people ( who all know each other ). One in particular is starting to become really annoying as she is ending phone calls with "you've got to stop dieting". I've tried explaining I look thinner due to working out and I'm not losing much more. However she's not listening. All her family are heavy and not sure if it's a case of her view of a healthy weight is distorted by those around her, or she's miffed as I'm succeeding at my health and fitness goals.
We do voluntary work together so I can't tell her where to get off. Any suggestions. The odd remark I don't mind. But this is becoming her main topic of conversation. Most of my other friends and colleagues have been really great and supportive.

Shut it down. Inform her you don't want to discuss it with her. Only communicate with her regarding business. Do NOT feed her by denying that you've lost weight or are working out more or whatever. None of her business.

I'm your height and I had someone like that around your weight. After several attempts to inform him I didn't want to talk about it, I told him my body goals were simply none of his business. I didn't look at it as being rude--certainly no ruder than commenting on a colleague's body. The remarks ended. I'm 136 right now and no one is telling me I'm too thin.

I am very much in favor of not discussing weight loss with people who don't have an active interest in it. I am very much in favor of telling people my body is not up for discussion. I don't see this as harsh--I am still there to talk about anything else in their life. But my weight loss is personal.

Perhaps you could print out a BMI chart and show her that you're technically still overweight. Two people at the same height could very well look different at the same weight, but showing her that chart might get her to stop nagging you.

Oops. raregem99 beat me to it.

playmadcats wrote: »

Thanks for the bmi suggestion. However I have already pointed out that my Dr, asthma nurse and personal trainer were happy with weight just to get a " well they don't know anything" remark back.

I was going to suggest the Doctor thing but if that's the response you're getting then ignore is the best course of action.

You could try saying something like "I find your comments about my weight very unhelpful and a bit rude. Health-wise I feel the best I have in ages" or just lie and say "I'm actually not trying to lose any more weight I'm eating well and exercising for my health" and just keep plodding along with the weight loss.

It's harder to argue when someone's doing it for health reasons

The next time it happens, be direct: "Jane, I do not appreciate comments about my diet, my weight, or my body. They make me uncomfortable, it's none of your business, and I want you to stop making them."

A good friend will apologize. A questionable friend will try to rationalize, justify, etc etc. A *kitten* friend will attempt to make you the villain. The only reasonable answer is the first one.

Every subsequent instance, disengage, remind, and then, if they won't stop, end the call or literally get up and leave. You cannot control what other people say or do, you don't owe them a justification or excuse or explanation or anything at all. You can, however, control whether you maintain a friendship with them. People who continue to inflict their opinions on you when you've asked them to stop are terrible people, and you don't need that in your life.

"I didn't realise you were such a health and weight loss expert."

First nice stats... I am 5'4 and currently 150, trying for about 140 but am toning up pretty nice so the weight doesn't matter too much to me now. Sometimes friends that don't support our goals can become toxic. Shedding toxic friends is really hard but sometimes very necessary to maintain a tranquil lifestyle. I hope this isn't the case, you have some really good suggestions on how to handle this (these) person (people). Just try to remember that toxic relationships can cause such havoc on us and we need to remember we have the choice to continue or terminate those relationships.

165 is overweight. You are nowhere CLOSE to too thin. She's being a snot because you're making her feel bad about herself.

So just tell her that you want to be a healthy weight and body composition, and it might be strange for her to see you looking healthier, but that you are going this for your health and not other people's comfort.

I wouldn't be much nicer than that.

Or just ask her bluntly why she keeps asking about this? When you have already answered the same questions already.

You can always go with the (often revealing), "Why do you ask?" or "What makes you say that?" It gently turns it back on her and could open a dialog about HER issues (Much more fun to discuss than ones own ). I got some of that from my sister-in-law and realized that she'd never seen me that thin (5'8" and 165!!!) and so was upset to see my collarbones. Just wasn't used to that on me. I was delighted to see them Hugs to you and good luck on your continued journey to good health!

My coworker always attempted to bring up weight and I say Whatever it pisses her off every time I say Whatever. So now she stopped bringing up my diet and exercising.

#1 - "Thank you for your concern."
#2 - Change subject.
Repeat #2 as necessary, until she gets the hint that you're not going to respond to her comments
about your weight.
Or just walk away.

.

spatulathumbs wrote:

The next time it happens, be direct: "Jane, I do not appreciate comments about my diet,
my weight, or my body. They make me uncomfortable, it's none of your business, and I want
you to stop making them."
Every subsequent instance, disengage, remind, and then, if they won't stop, end the call or
literally get up and leave.

Yep.

.

seska wrote:

Tell her that weight loss is a subject that you just don't want to discuss anymore.
After that, say "Hmm" or just ignore that she said anything about it.
If she asks if you are listening to her, tell her no.

I like this too.