Boyfriend problems
Replies
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trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
Guy A (the ex) treated her well but was ugly
Guy B (the current) is awesomesauce attractive, but isn't emotionally available
Both of the have serious priority issues and one or both might be using OP for her money.
OP wants to know which one she should be with.0 -
chandelierbee wrote: »
Yeah I'm in college right now
What's your major? Psychology?
Why would you ask if it's psychology? I'm actually going in for computer science/business and manufacturing0 -
chandelierbee wrote: »williamwj2014 wrote: »holy sht, that's long..couldn't even get through the first paragraph. Sounds like you need to grow up and find yourself tbh. Go find a friend to talk to, don't post this sht here.
Of course I need to grow up, I'm only 20. But like I said, I had no one to talk to about this, not even my mom and shes my support system. This is a support thread not a "post your *kitten* here" thread :c I keep my feelings to myself for the most part but I drag things on that make me unhappy. Idk why I torture myself like this, maybe it's bc I've been too shy to make friends. If you have nothing nice to say (or suggestions) don't say nothing at all
How about instead of relying on others for help, you learn how to help yourself? Seriously. If you want to be taken seriously, write your pity story clearer and readable and not something that has the reader frustrated with how silly it sounds from the get-go.0 -
chandelierbee wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »
well I don't think you are stupid. What I do find that you can see is you are attracted to some very interesting fellas. Would you agree?
I'm always open to anything. I look at either personality or looks but I swoon for looks. I just a little bad for him bc he never really had stability and having a gf is like piling on the work load
Is there any chance these relationship were build from playing Halo? That is were I used to meet a lot of online folks.
Mainly COD black ops. Halo... Never really played.
Why own the xbox and not play the game that can sell the xbox by itself?
And black ops too? I am going to guess zombies?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »So are you also opposed to interracial dating, or is that just him?
No of course not, I'm open to anything and I was afraid I didn't make it clear. He just hates the idea of it now bc she picked bad guys in the past and they happened to be black. He's got a super close black friend who's dating a white girl and doesn't care bc he's not a gangster wannabe black guy and he's not sexually innapropriate. The guy that my bf's mom is dating is black, he's a huge comic book nerd, believes in chivalry and tries to act like a father but he says innapropriate jokes in front of his younger brother and he's a big drinker that brings his friends over for late night body shots and sleepovers and his mom is too nice and let's it happen bc she's into that sort of thing, all while the boys are sleeping. In the past, my bf regularly stayed up so he could unlock the door for his mom once she got home, bc she and her bf were too drunk to open the door.
hmmm. What is that saying again about black men?
Huuuuuuu..... Those are HISadjectives, not mine.
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chandelierbee wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »So are you also opposed to interracial dating, or is that just him?
No of course not, I'm open to anything and I was afraid I didn't make it clear. He just hates the idea of it now bc she picked bad guys in the past and they happened to be black. He's got a super close black friend who's dating a white girl and doesn't care bc he's not a gangster wannabe black guy and he's not sexually innapropriate. The guy that my bf's mom is dating is black, he's a huge comic book nerd, believes in chivalry and tries to act like a father but he says innapropriate jokes in front of his younger brother and he's a big drinker that brings his friends over for late night body shots and sleepovers and his mom is too nice and let's it happen bc she's into that sort of thing, all while the boys are sleeping. In the past, my bf regularly stayed up so he could unlock the door for his mom once she got home, bc she and her bf were too drunk to open the door.
hmmm. What is that saying again about black men?
Huuuuuuu..... Those are HISadjectives, not mine.
I was on the once you go black you never go back. Well I know one girl who can say that proudly 100%.
BTW I knew what you he is talking about. Wannabe black guys I know of. You don't see me chilling with that crowd. "He's not sexually inappropriate" that one I might disagree with.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »So are you also opposed to interracial dating, or is that just him?
No of course not, I'm open to anything and I was afraid I didn't make it clear. He just hates the idea of it now bc she picked bad guys in the past and they happened to be black. He's got a super close black friend who's dating a white girl and doesn't care bc he's not a gangster wannabe black guy and he's not sexually innapropriate. The guy that my bf's mom is dating is black, he's a huge comic book nerd, believes in chivalry and tries to act like a father but he says innapropriate jokes in front of his younger brother and he's a big drinker that brings his friends over for late night body shots and sleepovers and his mom is too nice and let's it happen bc she's into that sort of thing, all while the boys are sleeping. In the past, my bf regularly stayed up so he could unlock the door for his mom once she got home, bc she and her bf were too drunk to open the door.
hmmm. What is that saying again about black men?
Huuuuuuu..... Those are HISadjectives, not mine.
I was on the once you go black you never go back. Well I know one girl who can say that proudly 100%.
BTW I knew what you he is talking about. Wannabe black guys I know of. You don't see me chilling with that crowd. "He's not sexually inappropriate" that one I might disagree with.
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Alluminati wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »So are you also opposed to interracial dating, or is that just him?
No of course not, I'm open to anything and I was afraid I didn't make it clear. He just hates the idea of it now bc she picked bad guys in the past and they happened to be black. He's got a super close black friend who's dating a white girl and doesn't care bc he's not a gangster wannabe black guy and he's not sexually innapropriate. The guy that my bf's mom is dating is black, he's a huge comic book nerd, believes in chivalry and tries to act like a father but he says innapropriate jokes in front of his younger brother and he's a big drinker that brings his friends over for late night body shots and sleepovers and his mom is too nice and let's it happen bc she's into that sort of thing, all while the boys are sleeping. In the past, my bf regularly stayed up so he could unlock the door for his mom once she got home, bc she and her bf were too drunk to open the door.
hmmm. What is that saying again about black men?
Huuuuuuu..... Those are HISadjectives, not mine.
I was on the once you go black you never go back. Well I know one girl who can say that proudly 100%.
BTW I knew what you he is talking about. Wannabe black guys I know of. You don't see me chilling with that crowd. "He's not sexually inappropriate" that one I might disagree with.
Any questions?
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williamwj2014 wrote: »chandelierbee wrote: »williamwj2014 wrote: »holy sht, that's long..couldn't even get through the first paragraph. Sounds like you need to grow up and find yourself tbh. Go find a friend to talk to, don't post this sht here.
Of course I need to grow up, I'm only 20. But like I said, I had no one to talk to about this, not even my mom and shes my support system. This is a support thread not a "post your *kitten* here" thread :c I keep my feelings to myself for the most part but I drag things on that make me unhappy. Idk why I torture myself like this, maybe it's bc I've been too shy to make friends. If you have nothing nice to say (or suggestions) don't say nothing at all
How about instead of relying on others for help, you learn how to help yourself? Seriously. If you want to be taken seriously, write your pity story clearer and readable and not something that has the reader frustrated with how silly it sounds from the get-go.
They were both close to me and its next to impossible to make friends for me bc I was so self conscious. And why would you say that? You didn't even read through the first paragraph. I wanted to vent and if I was someone else I would dump him but Ive lost so many friends just from them moving away. I think your right but your answer at the same time is mean, I could be mean and say from your "supportive" answer, I'd guess you can't keep a gf, it's mean! Just leave.
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Chief_Rocka wrote: »I'm going to go out on a limb and guess he thinks you talk too much
Snort!0 -
ManiacalLaugh wrote: »trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
Guy A (the ex) treated her well but was ugly
Guy B (the current) is awesomesauce attractive, but isn't emotionally available
Both of the have serious priority issues and one or both might be using OP for her money.
OP wants to know which one she should be with.
Thanks, this obviously will take some serious thought to make sure OP gets sensible advice.
... my serious thinking came up with this
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trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
Her parents let her 19 year old, unemployed, high school dropout boyfriend move into their house with her.
This is definitely going to end well ...
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ManiacalLaugh wrote: »trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
Guy A (the ex) treated her well but was ugly
Guy B (the current) is awesomesauce attractive, but isn't emotionally available
Both of the have serious priority issues and one or both might be using OP for her money.
OP wants to know which one she should be with.
Thank you.
Neither0 -
So I read that whoooole thing! & to me (do correct me if I'm wrong), you had the perfect guy personality wise with your first boyfriend & you dumped him because he didn't come up to scratch physically. You then got with this second fella who apparently has a "supermodel body & face" but his personality is sorely lacking.
Soooo uhm perhaps next time you find a boyfriend, you focus a bit more on personality than looks? I mean obviously you'll need to be physically attracted to him but whenever you get to know someone, they become a lot cuter simply because you like them.
In regards to your current boyfriend, if you can't deal with his life ambitions and personality, you should split up. You can't change a person simply by trying to force them.
Good luck & I know you're just uhm I think 18? but pleaseee embrace being a powerful woman. You don't need a man to earn a nice paycheck, you can earn that yourself. You don't need a man to take care of you, you can take care of yourself. A relationship should be based on equality, not outdated 50's relationship values.0 -
It's better to have no friends and no boyfriend than to have some unmotivated leech mooching off of you and your parents. Seriously....just break up. Even if he's pretty to look at he's not worth it.
Also, punctuation and paragraphs are super useful if you're going to write a story.
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I vote neither0
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ManiacalLaugh wrote: »trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
Guy A (the ex) treated her well but was ugly
Guy B (the current) is awesomesauce attractive, but isn't emotionally available
Both of the have serious priority issues and one or both might be using OP for her money.
OP wants to know which one she should be with.
You can be the official thread summariser. Thanks.
Ok based on the above:
There are zillions of boys you might meet in the future who you cna be friends with, not just these 2 guys. Neither of them seems right for you, so maybe dont worry about either and keep uopir eye out for someone who treats you well, but you can also fancy. As there are many millions of potentials its just a case of you being able to select one from the available pool.
So neither and get on enjoying being you. Dont take what people post here to heart its just a forum, nobody means any harm and if they did just ignore them. I hope you get it sorted out, but there looks to be better options than choose a or b. Choose yourself.0 -
I suck at writing. Sorry to those who I wrote too much. I just wanted to write down every instance of when I was frustrated. But this is why I'm not a fan of the Internet bc there's little troll people out there that like to come up from the shadows of their basements and be mean :c I'm a simpleton and not all that bright, but yet I'm an A student and I keep on going when someone takes me down. I have someone now who's dragging me down and I'm gonna go ahead and cut the chord. Hopefully just getting my story out there, my mom would read it and somewhat understand. Afterwards I'm just gonna delete my stupid post. Thanks again to those with actual advice and sorry to those it was confusing. Just have a nice day0
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khaleesikhaleesi wrote: »The "Xbox LIVE friends" part gets me.
I was just going to say that . . . like are these actual friends? Is this how you guys met before? . . . . like what about real life friends? I was with someone for 5 1/2 years and we are now separated (were common law) and our friends had a hard time with it because we met through mutual friends, however I don't get how an XBOX live friend makes any difference? Like you're saying you don't go out at all, so how you "socialize" is by playing video games and talking to people through one of those head set things???
Anyways, I was with someone for a long time - 51/2 years, as I said - and he wasn't good for me. I went through 6 years of post secondary, 4 of them being with him. It was abusive and manipulative and he just wasn't good for me. We took about 6 months apart and reconnected when he contacted me that he wanted to work on things. Things were GREAT!! GREAT!! until we moved in together and then everything went back to how it was. He was disrespectful and in the end, it came down to the fact that he saw a very, very comfy life with me (as I make pretty good money) and I would always make sure bills were paid, food is in the fridge, laundry is done, apartment was clean, etc etc. But I didn't expect anything out of him, and I put up with him being gone all the time, working on friend's cars, taking his car to the raceway, etc etc. It was always, always about the cars. One of the final straws for me was this: he had been very grumpy and upset for a couple weeks, and finally I was like wtf is wrong? You're just being a jerk. And he was like I just can't be happy. So I said care to elaborate on that . . . . like why? He looked at me and seriously said I can't be happy because you've ruined me. With that, I didn't yell or scream or cry, I just said there's the door, if you can't be happy with me or feel like I'm ruining your life I'd suggest you use it, now.
And we were over. But once we were over it was a relief. It was like I somehow knew he was the wrong one for me but it took all of the fights and arguments and punching holes in walls to see that this isn't who I wanted to be with forever.
If you don't demand this new guy treat you with respect, he never will. You've allowed him to live rent free, responsibility free and haven't demanded anything out of him. Most people do what's expected of them. If you expect things from your partner, don't settle for anything else. If you tell him things need to change and they don't, you need to be prepared to make the hard decision. You can't say change or else, and then he doesn't and you stay anyways. When I told my ex there's the door, it was the hardest decision I ever made and some days I wanted to go back and say it was a mistake and let's work things out but I stuck to my decision and I moved on, as hard as it was.
I think you need to end things - he doesn't respect you or your parents and is taking advantage of you guys by just living there and not contributing to his portion of the house responsibilities.
Best of luck - relationships can be tough sometimes.
ETA: and by demanding I don't mean like sit down and give him a list of things, or yell at him or whatever. I mean you have to know that you're worth respecting, and if he wants to be with you that means respecting you; it means no name calling, fight fairly, be willing to work on things and don't just say I don't feel like doing this anymore, it means showing you that you're someone worth respecting and loving. You have to know your self worth.
If you believe now that you made a mistake - even if your ex doesn't want to be with you anymore (and it's very possible he has moved on) then you still need to make that choice, and stick to it! I'd so much rather be single for the next 5 years than be with the wrong person. It can turn you into someone you never wanted to be (IE throwing/pushing a chair - I went through that, I punched a counter so hard my hand was swollen and purple for weeks and I have never been like that) and it will take its toll on who you are as a person, long term. My best advice is get out now, cut the ties and move on. It's hard and it's tough but I think if you know now he isn't the right guy for you, you need to follow your gut and your instinct and move on.0 -
Dump them both. Move on. Have awesome sexy time with lots of people at college and settle down eventually with the one with the perfect personality and looks, who also plays Xboxlive. That person does exist.
Career advice - if you have a choice between computer science and business/manufacturing, go for CS. You can do a job in business or manufacturing with a degree in CS but not the other way around.0 -
I'm afraid of losing MFP friends... So there's that.0
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trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
OP is a teenager who uses Xbox Live to find relationships. Her first X-box bf, was not hot but was whipped. She broke it off with him to date X-box bf #2 who was much hotter. Although #2 is hot and will buy her anything he does not compliment her all the time. He even called her a bit*h once. OP is thinking he may not be her soulmate and is wondering if dumping #1 was a good idea. #1 cheated on her, but it was to save their relationship and he at least complimented her allot. There was some stuff about #2 moving in, but I think this pretty much sums it up.0 -
trinatrina1984 wrote: »Can someone give me the TL;DR version?
There isn't one.0 -
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This is amazing.0
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