Question for older people who were morbidly obese for decades before losing...(this is long!)

Take up a sport or activity that makes the most of your new fitness and shape. Look at other fit people in the same age range and you'll realise that you are meant to look as you do now.

If it gets too overwhelming, see a counsellor. Do it sober rather than later so you can enjoy your body and fitness that you've worked so hard for.

Although I did not lose as much as you, I have to reply because I still feel like I get you!

I think you should know what you're feeling is perfectly normal and understandable, especially in the context of such a dramatic change from a long term weight. A lot of people are only at their biggest for a short time, and just have a little weight to lose to 'go back' to how they were, how they actually conceive of themselves. You got used to your weight over years, many of them formative years; it felt like part of you, and to be without it may make you feel a little... exposed, maybe, or vulnerable/fragile?

Although it's dated a bit, Susie Orbach's Fat is a Feminist Issue makes really interesting reading on this (whether you're a woman or not!). She comes at being overweight from a very interesting perspective -that our fat is actually doing something positive for us psychologically or physically, even though we may not realise it consciously, and that is why it is so hard to get it off - because it's hard to give up.

As we all know who've gone through it, actually losing weight can be very simple practically - eat less/differently, do more - but something in our mind won't LET us do those simple things, sometimes for a very long time. Having pushed through that, and lost the weight, it's not surprising you're freaked out, as you're no longer getting whatever it was your fat was doing for you. Whatever that was, it would be worth thinking about your anxieties/ambivalence about your new thinner body to try and work it out, and see if you can find some reassurance that that protection/comfort/message to the world about what kind of person you are inside is still available to you in some other, healthier form. But give yourself time!

Even though I've lost very little compared to you, I am a bit stop-and-start because I do get lightly freaked out now and then when I've been on a successful losing streak. I think for me, just the idea i could reach goal, and then have to actually settle at a weight - not always being 'on a diet' or 'needing to go on a diet', but just being responsible for maintaining my healthy body as it is - is quite intimidating, so every time I get close to it, I have to stop, regroup, get used to the new weight, and then move on to the next couple of pounds loss. It's not a race - maybe take some time to get used to this new you before attacking those last 20-40lbs? Be gentle with yourself - you've done so well!

I've actually been talking to my therapist about this, so I'm going to tell you how it works for me, even though I haven't lost as much weight yet.

I've also started gaining when I was young (~12 yo), and kept gaining even until last year. I'm at 255 lbs right now, and my highest was 262 lbs. I realized that I know I can lose the weight, but I was terribly afraid to do so because of two reasons:

(1) My body image formed around the weight because I was already big during my adolescence; I simply do not know how to be anything else than fat... thus, I tend to cling to this part of myself since it is part of my identity;

(2) Being fat has given me certain benefits/perks... to name a couple: it's a good defense mechanism and a good excuse when I need one.

From what you've written, I think you have the same issues I will have regarding point nr. 1. I'm not quite there yet, because I haven't lost that much weight, but I'm already a bit scared because if I'm not "fluffy", then I don't know how else I can be. For this, I've started working with The Body Image Workbook, by Thomas Cash (along with my usual therapy, which is focused mainly on point nr. 2). I suggest you take a look at it. It has a corny title, the first time I read it I was "8-step program to like your body? Really?", but it has helped a lot. And it's not just about liking your body, it's also about getting to know your body, especially since you have a new body to get used to. I guess it takes time to adapt, but I think the exercises in that book could help the process along faster.