How has your relationship with your significant other changed since weight loss?

Congratulations on your weight loss!
Maybe you guys should talk to a professional? Wishing you all the best...

My husband is not enjoying my new found confidence. I can't imagine what it will be like 40 lbs from now

You know, when I first met my husband I weighed 175 pounds. At that time I was about fifteen pounds down from my highest weight ever, which was the result of an anomalous year of binging. Anyway maybe over the next six months or so I dropped back to my normal weight of about 145 pounds, so that's thirty pounds down in six months. I hate to say this because I'd like to commiserate with you, but nothing changed. And now we're getting serious in the gym, and I'm trying to improve my body even more. He supports me fully and is motivated by me. He's not as serious as I am about diet, but he supports me. And believe you me, I sometimes get anxious that my body is going to change in ways that will make me less attractive to him, and I voice those concerns to him. He reassures me that he'll think I'm beautiful no matter what. And of course what person in his/her right mind wouldn't say that to the person he/she loves most, but the thing is, I believe him. If I may ask, what reason does he give for sleeping in separate rooms, and have you noticed any other changes?

I've experienced it first hand, seen it happen, and read posts on here of it happening. That said, I think it's simply a catalyst of some other underlying problem. My wife was overweight. She underwent gastric bypass surgery, lost a lot of weight, and while our relationship didn't change, her relationship with her female friends and co-workers did; they stopped inviting her to outings, saving her a seat at meetings, and started distancing themselves. Another male friend of hers had his wife forbid him from spending time with my wife, suddenly worried that they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off of each other now that she had lost 100+ pounds.

On the other hand, I was always skinny. A few years ago I recommitted to exercising and I've put on a lot of mass. Now my wife is the one that's insecure, and worried that I will leave her for some "hot thing at the gym." It's not gotten to the point that we're sleeping in separate rooms, but I think it's has a lot to do with the person's own insecurities manifesting.

A friend of mine admitted that she dates unattractive, out of shape men, because those are the guys that will feel as though they are lucky to be with her, and be utterly devoted to her as a result. I asked her "why not date a guy that you're attracted to, and trust that he will be devoted to you?" Her answer was "if a guy is attractive, he knows that he can do better than me, so he'll leave me for the first hottie that comes along." I told her that was a messed up way of thinking, that also made it seem as though she had a low sense of self worth; thinking that she had to date "ugly" guys because she wasn't pretty enough to hold onto an attractive guy.

Sleeping in different rooms is rather severe. You need to decide how you're going address it, because it's only going lead to him brewing over whatever "injustice" he feels he's suffered, and the longer you wait, the worse that bomb is going to be when it finally detonates.

You're sleeping in separate rooms? Do you know why? I'm sorry

I've lost 83 pounds, and my relationship has gotten stronger, because I'm happier and more confident.

Hasn't changed at all. My DW lost over 30lbs last year and I've maintained the last umpteen years. We still talk alot, have sex, and are together a lot during the week doing the weekly dinner date out.
Lots of couples don't like change and many don't do well when one achieves more than the other. Unfortunately I've seen this happen lots of times with clients who succeed and their SO's don't or don't care.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

My boyfriend loves it. He let it slip that he prefers it...to before. But it didn't offend me. Who wouldn't? It's been nice feeling like I can walk around naked in the daylight in front of him too.

Plus he started lifting after he saw how strong I was getting, which has been fun because now I can talk to him a little about fitness and he understands what I am doing.

I'm forever alone. > A>; But I'd say you two need to talk to a professional if you are sleeping in separate rooms for reasons other than 'I hate literally sleeping next to you, let's get our own beds' 'hell yeah, you snoring partner!' '-highfive-'

One thing that probably used to make the other half crazy, was how I counted ABSOLUTLEY ALL MY CALORIES. I was constantly scanning things, and comparing calories etc etc... until HE JOINED MFP TOO! Now hes just as obsessed & we're stronger cause we're doing it together. It's definitely nice to have that accountability. I LOVE THAT HES A MEMBER NOW!

I feel my marriage has become stronger since I've lost weight -- we met when I was 40 pounds heavier than I am now and at my highest weight -- I was over 70 pounds heavier. My husband has always been in good shape and quite active but never made me feel unattractive or anything like that when I was bigger. I think the big thing was I was unable to do a lot of activities that we could've done together when I was bigger. Now -- we spend a lot of time doing things I've always stayed away from because I felt I was too big and we have a blast! He's always been so supportive of me throughout our whole relationship and I'm so thankful for him. He tells me all the time he just wants me to be happy and healthy. I think insecurities come in the way of relationships and instead of facing them head on -- we tend to hide behind them or are too embarrassed to talk about it. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship -- even if it is a tough conversation, not talking about it and keeping it inside will just make it worse.

My bf's doctor told him to cut carbs to lose weight, but he wasn't doing that, so I got him to join MFP and start tracking calories with me. Seeing your man read food labels while shopping is HAWT! I'd rather go straight upstairs afterward than put groceries away.

ETA: In all seriousness, discussions should be had in your relationship. Whether it's your weight loss or something else, that's no way to live.

Overall my relationship is solid. But my dh isn't supportive which kind of frustrates me because he needs to lose more weight than I do. I try to be patient with him and lead by example with diet and exercise. But I do worry that my new healthier lifestyle may cause conflict in the future.