Sorry About The Lazy

OldAssDude
OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
edited November 21 in Health and Weight Loss
Yesterday I started a thread which is now closed. I called people lazy for not including exercise in their weight loss plan, and also called them a lump on a log if they did not include the exercise.

I would like to apologize for this and say that "I am the one who was a lazy lump on a log" up until about 7 months ago when I discovered activity trackers.

I was in my early thirties when I got out of the army back in 1989. A couple years after that a drunk driver ran a stop sign and broadsided my car doing about 70mph. He hit right on my door and smashed the side of my car in about a third of the way in. I sustained a collapsed left lung, broken left rib cage, a ruptured spleen, a ruptured diaphragm, my stomach was pushed through my diaphragm into my chest, and both shoulders were partially dislocated.

Before this happened I was still working out to stay in shape and never had a problem maintaining a healthy weight because I was at a good fitness level. After they put me all back together, removed my spleen, and inflated my left lung, they told me I could not exercise for at least a year so my injuries could fully heal. For almost 2 months I couldn't even wipe my own butt, or walk up 2 or 3 steps. I couldn't get up or lay down by myself. My family members had to help me do everything.

I eventually healed up enough to get back to work, any I was in industrial maintenance, so my job was very physical which allowed my do stay in fairly decent shape, but not good enough. I started putting on a little weight over the next year, and after the year passed and I was allowed to work out again, I just got "lazy".

At that point I was probably about 10 pounds over weight. over the years that followed I probably put on another 10 to 20 pounds. I made a career change at about 40 and became a computer programmer, so my job went from a very active job to sitting on my butt all day, and then going home and sitting on my butt until bed time. My weight started going out of control. I still ate the same as I always have, but it was the total lack of activity that caused this problem.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with diverticulitis, and my colon was abscessed. Over the next couple years of trying to control the attacks with diet, I was hospitalized several times, and it got to the point that I had to have surgery. I had to get pulmonary and cardiac clearances for the surgery, and during those tests they told me that I had COPD, and there was a small part at the bottom of my heart that was slightly enlarged, and that I probably had a mini heart attack at some point. I have also had problems with blood clots in my lungs and liver, and am currently on blood thinners.

All of this made me start thinking about my weight and my health, and if I keep going like this, and keep smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day, I am not going to be around much longer. At this point I'm 57 years old, 5'8", and 225 pound of lump on a log, and too lazy to get up off my butt and do something about it.

after a year of sitting on my lazy butt thinking about it, I discovered activity trackers. They looked like a gimmick to my, but I was still curious about them, so I went and picked one up just to try it. I set it up with the app, and set it to lose 1 pound per week, and set the step goal to 5,000 steps a day to start. I started logging my food and trying to get my 5,000 steps a day in. the steps were hard at first because I got winded walking up a couple flights of stairs, and my feet and shins were killing me when I started trying to walk around my apartment complex at a fast pace. But I kept pushing myself a little at a time. Once I got to 1 mile and it became easy, I bumped it up to 1.5, then 2. Now I can do 3 miles easy at about a 4mph pace. I started getting bored with just walking so I went out and bought a bicycle. I started doing about 3 miles on that, and slowly worked my way up. I can now do 10 miles at a cardio pace with no problem.

I log my food for the most part, but I think the increased activity helped more. As I said, I never really changed my diet, but it was the total lack of activity that caused me to gain all that weight. I have been losing about a pound a week since I started using the activity tracker, and it made it so easy because I didn't have to keep records of everything, or do any math. The tracker takes care of all of that, and I'm too much of a "lazy lump on as log" to do it myself. It tracks my calories burned and automatically adds them to the calories I can eat. It automatically deducts the calories to lose whatever I set to lose per week. All I have to do is scan my food in (or search for a similar food if there is no way to scan it), and it keeps track of the rest for me.

I have lost over 30 pounds so far over the past 7 months, and although I am more aware of what I eat, and have been learning more about nutrition along the way, I still attribute most of the success to the increased activity, and the activity tracker is a very motivational tool too. The one I have now vibrates on my wrist if I have been inactive for too long, and reminds me to get up off my "lazy lump on a log" butt, and take at least 200 steps. My goal now is 10,000 steps a day and I have been making that consistently (except for an abscessed tooth I had a few weeks back, so I only made about 7,000 for a couple days).

I feel so much better now, and never realized how bad I felt all the time because I was so used to feeling bad all the time, and I feel that fitness level is just as important (if not more) than diet alone. And I am not saying you have to exercise like crazy either, just increase your activity to what is comfortable for you gradually.

I started watching this forum more and saw thread after thread after thread of people struggling to lose weight and many gave the impression (to me) of just counting calories without increased activity. It inspired me to start that thread, and I know I called people 'lazy lumps on a log", but I meant it to be motivational because that's the way they did it back when I was in the army, and it seemed to work. And, I include myself in the lazy lump on as log category as well, because that is what caused me to gain all that weight and become so out of shape.

Anyway, I fully understand if you do not accept my apology, and I chose a bad way in trying to help.
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Replies

  • Bshmerlie
    Bshmerlie Posts: 1,026 Member
    Wow...thank you for the apology. I saw your thread yesterday and chose not to respond because I felt like it was so way out of line it didn't even deserve my time. Everyone is at a different point in their life. It's human nature to put things off. Sometimes it takes a doctor telling us we have a serious health condition to finally get us off our butt and do something about it. But just because we have gotten to that point doesn't mean someone else has. Everyone is different.

    The same thing you said about exercise and being lazy could also be applied to a great many things like one's education, volunteering in your local community or doing something to improve the environment. We all have priorities. Your priority may be riding your bike for ten miles but someone else's may be finishing up their Masters Degree or someone else may be taking care of an elderly parent. You never know what is going on in someone's life. That's why we shouldn't judge.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    It's very big of you to apologize.

    Congratulations on your success.
  • kandell
    kandell Posts: 473 Member
    It takes a lot of maturity to apologize for something, and most people flat out won't do it. That's awesome that you're willing to apologize to the people you offended!

    When I was younger, I was extremely active. I was never thin, but I was in shape due to gymnastics and other sports. One summer I broke my arms (yes, both), and was unable to do pretty much anything for months. It broke me out of being an active kid, and I think that has a lot to do with how difficult it's been to try and keep my weight in check and get active as a teen/adult. I totally understand where you're coming from, because lately I've found that I feel so much better when I do exercise. And it can be hard to see people who don't seem to share the same priorities, especially when it can affect their health.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    I wasn't involved in the original thread, but I just have to say what a beautiful quality it is in a person to be able to step back and admit a mistake. Your story is encouraging and you set a good example :)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Admittance in error is how people learn and grow. It's also a humbling gesture.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • Bshmerlie
    Bshmerlie Posts: 1,026 Member
    Sometimes we have to take a step back and identify the things we do wrong and then admit to ourselves and others and say, "Hey, I screwed up and could have said that in a little different way and could have reached more people." Being able to evaluate ourselves and how we come across to others is a vital step in our progression as good human beings. It's easy to trash the "lazy" people, it's hard to motivate and inspire them in a positive way to accomplish the same goal.
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    Hats off to you for apologizing. I wish you continued success.

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    Hey this is huge :) Very few people are able to recognize when they're projecting like that (which happens all the time, because our own experiences - particularly our experiences of success - are so convincing they feel like universal truths). Fewer people apologize. Nice to see :)

    Congrats on everything & best to you
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited July 2015
    Bshmerlie wrote: »
    Wow...thank you for the apology. I saw your thread yesterday and chose not to respond because I felt like it was so way out of line it didn't even deserve my time. Everyone is at a different point in their life. It's human nature to put things off. Sometimes it takes a doctor telling us we have a serious health condition to finally get us off our butt and do something about it. But just because we have gotten to that point doesn't mean someone else has. Everyone is different.

    The same thing you said about exercise and being lazy could also be applied to a great many things like one's education, volunteering in your local community or doing something to improve the environment. We all have priorities. Your priority may be riding your bike for ten miles but someone else's may be finishing up their Masters Degree or someone else may be taking care of an elderly parent. You never know what is going on in someone's life. That's why we shouldn't judge.

    This is exactly what I wanted to say to the original post (but it was already well in progress and I didn't want to pile on).

    Anyway, I appreciate your correction and apology, OP. So often what we are hardest on relates to what we are judging in ourselves.
    bcalvanese wrote: »
    I log my food for the most part, but I think the increased activity helped more. As I said, I never really changed my diet, but it was the total lack of activity that caused me to gain all that weight.

    I can relate to this. I gained weight in large part because I went from being a very active person to a completely sedentary person. Eating and activity are intertwined for me, though--I tend to eat much better without having to think about it when I'm exercising and more active--but it's been really important this time that I started slowly and just built up the activity I did daily somewhat gradually (starting by just deciding I'd take advantage of living in a city and get my 10,000+ steps every day), and also that I kept in mind that if something happened so exercise didn't seem possible to fit in I could still control my calories and continue to lose.

    A huge part of this process is figuring out how to make changes that work with your lifestyle. For me the exercise has ended up being an important part of that, but if something happens so that's not as possible for a period of time I am glad I know there are other ways too.
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  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    You aren't the first person to take the "It works for me, so it must be good for everyone!" idea and run with it...running a little too far.

    People have said much worse. Much, much worse.

    Again, you've been through a lot and have a lot to be proud of. Congrats on your success. :)

  • BWBTrish
    BWBTrish Posts: 2,817 Member
    Respect!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    @bcalvanese your OP here and that of your other thread are great examples of how the same message is received different ways depending on how it is packaged. Focusing on sharing your story is much more compelling than mostly trying to motivate Army style. (Or tough love, for that matter.)
  • Cjbiobaby
    Cjbiobaby Posts: 16 Member
    when I first started reading this, I wanted to stop and just reply YOURE A BULLY, an ignorant BULLY. but then, I kept reading and felt very compassionate towards you. the courage and strength you had to plug on through all of your trauma. the courage you had to apologize to everyone. you most likely were acting out due to your own pain. thank you, although it didn't personally affect me, thank you for being the big person and apologizing to folks you may have hurt. Your story is such an inspiration to me. and Thank you for serving in our nations Army. thanks for this post. you just made my day!!
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  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,645 Member
    Congrats on getting your life back. You were an active person who became inactive due to circumstance, but your "motivation" wouldn't do a thing for someone who was never an active person and has no interest in becoming one. For that person, correcting the diet is the first, and sometimes the only thing that needs to be done.

    Anyway, thanks for clearing it up. Try not to make so many assumptions and judgements about someone's lifestyle next time.
  • discretekim
    discretekim Posts: 314 Member
    I didn't see your post, but I had a couple of similar issues. I have too been trying to be positive and not judge others. I really like these forums and had personally been very concerned I would be kicked out. I think it's important to learn from your mistakes and see things from another perspective.
  • skittlsv2
    skittlsv2 Posts: 85 Member
    A home run. Well done. Respect you for apologizing and for digging deeper to reach others with a different approach. We all need motivation and as a first time dieter I know I need it. I had a wreck and was laid up for 6-8 months on meds too. So I gained and then became depressed because I gained weight. For 2 years I was the ultimate "couch potato". Zero activity and very poor diet. 40 lbs to lose now with healthier eating and exercise. I feel better in the last 7 weeks than I have on over 3 years.
    Congrats on your success so far and wishing you continued good health.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Pretty big deal to come out here and apologize!
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  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    Now *that's* class, my friend. <3
  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
    Thank you soooooooooo much everyone. I will try to be more considerate of others going forward.

    I try to keep all that army stuff at bay, but they drill it into you so deep, it kind of becomes part of you, but it did make me a better person, and probably saved my life.

    I was an intravenous drug user before going in the army, and lost my brother and several friends to drugs and drug related things. I knew I was headed down the wrong road, and knew I had to do something drastic to get away from all that stuff. I joined the army in 1983 and have not done any drugs since.

    Thanks again everyone, and keep doing whatever you are doing to meet your goals.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,346 Member
    Good for you for making an apology. You have a hell of a story and it would be a shame if it were to be overshadowed by unpleasantness. Congrats on your success so far!
  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
    Caitwn wrote: »
    A sincere and thoughtful apology like this is a class act. Well done.

    I'm one of the folks who reacted badly to your original thread, but now that you're in a place of simply sharing your perspective, I feel OK saying that I also come from having survived an extremely bad accident (thanks to yet another drunk driver). After lots of orthopedic surgeries, becoming ambidextrous because I was without the use of my right arm for so long, a long while in a wheelchair before "graduating" to crutches and eventually to a cane and (FINALLY, yay!!) to walking, I was informed I'd always have significant range of motion limitations. And that prediction turned out to be total BS thanks to exercise and weights.

    So please know that I really get it, like down to my core get it, when you try to emphasize the power of exercise. I see now that you just tried to do it with 'army-style motivation', haha...and that does in fact come across pretty badly on message boards, EVEN THOUGH I think that kind of talk is great between folks who know each other well enough to understand that it's not just someone trashing them.

    I really appreciate your sharing your story - there's no question you've faced a lot, and your commitment and determination shine through, which is contagious in a good way.

    I wish you the very best in continuing to improve your health. Since I think you do believe in being straightforward, I'll also say that I really, really hope you're able to get free of the smoking addiction (if you have and I missed that, I'm sorry!). It's a godawful tough one to kick, but I think it may be even more important to your health than weight loss.

    Blessings, strength, and good wishes to you.

    Thank you very much, and thank you for sharing your story too.

    Sounds like you have overcome major obstacles, even disproving what your doctors told you.

    I solute you, and wish you all the best.
  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
    kandell wrote: »
    It takes a lot of maturity to apologize for something, and most people flat out won't do it. That's awesome that you're willing to apologize to the people you offended!

    When I was younger, I was extremely active. I was never thin, but I was in shape due to gymnastics and other sports. One summer I broke my arms (yes, both), and was unable to do pretty much anything for months. It broke me out of being an active kid, and I think that has a lot to do with how difficult it's been to try and keep my weight in check and get active as a teen/adult. I totally understand where you're coming from, because lately I've found that I feel so much better when I do exercise. And it can be hard to see people who don't seem to share the same priorities, especially when it can affect their health.

    How did you break both arms?

    I almost dislocated both arms doing a dislocate on the rings in high school. I did the kip up, but did not have all my weight off before turning my shoulders and arms out, but I let go real quick and hit the mat before they popped.
  • MelissaPhippsFeagins
    MelissaPhippsFeagins Posts: 8,063 Member
    Thank you for your service in my dad's Army. I grew up afraid my dad might not be able to bounce a quarter off of my bed, it motivates, but it isn't optimal.

    It is very good of you to publicly apologize. Congratulations on your perseverance through trauma and humility.
  • Bshmerlie
    Bshmerlie Posts: 1,026 Member
    ....and this thread is what your first post was supposed to be about. I'm glad we could finally get there.

    My personal story....I went from body builder and triathalons in my 20's to almost nothing overnight when I took on a high paying upper management job after college. I was making six figures right out of college and thought I was hot stuff making a bunch of money but all at the same time my physical being went down hill drastically. I gained 75 pounds by the time I was 30 and another 50 by the time I hit 40. Only now that I'm 45 and I'm financially set that I feel it's time to focus on what's really important. I just got too wrapped up in the career and collecting real estate that I didn't focus on me. My mistake. One that I plan to rectify.
  • kk_inprogress
    kk_inprogress Posts: 3,077 Member
    I missed the original thread, but you're a class act for posting this. I started off with some rude commentary when I first joined the forums and though I am still very honest about my opinions, I try to be more gentle and compassionate because I will never know someone else's story just from a post in a forum.

    Congrats on all you've overcome and good luck on your journey!
  • loulamb7
    loulamb7 Posts: 801 Member
    Kudos to you! Nicely done.
  • Carol_
    Carol_ Posts: 469 Member
    You know, communication on line can leave out a lot. Like body language, or a person correcting what they said, seconds after. I saw that post. I did not see it as being 'mean'. You seemed like a nice person and tried several times to 're word' what you said.. in spite of everyone objecting to your view. Please don't let this stop you from posting. :) Now, I will go finish reading what you posted..above. :)
  • crazyjerseygirl
    crazyjerseygirl Posts: 1,252 Member
    I work in the sciences, and it's known that the hardest part isn't memorizing pathways or learning technical stuff, it's knowing when to stand back from an experiment and realize that your hypothesis was wrong.

    Bravo for the apology (I too turned tail from your last thread!)

    As for the army stuff, at least now if I see it I'll know where it's coming from!
This discussion has been closed.