Weight redistribution - any recovered/recovering anorexics on here?
worldofalice
Posts: 148 Member
I've been maintaining a nearly weight-restored bmi of about 17.5-18 (46 kg, from 37 last year) since December now, and although I know I have maybe a kilo or two to go I was hoping that my body would have started to respond by now. I was hoping for my period, boobs, sex drive, more even weight distribution - however none of this is happening. I have huge tree trunk legs, a flabby lower stomach, yet from the belly button up I am scrawny and can't even fill out a training bra. This obviously makes the prospect of gaining even more very daunting as I am sure it will continue to go straight to my abdomen and thighs. I don't feel like I look like I need to gain any more and get the same impression from friends, so this makes me question if I'm doing the right thing. Maybe this is just my natural body shape, and more gaining will just make it worse? Does anybody have any advice/experience with weight redistribution?
(Additional information if it's helpful - I go to the gym about 5-6 times a week and do gentle lifting, and for the past few months have been eating around 1500 calories, although recently I am happy to hit nearly 2000 occasionally. I even reached 2500+ a couple of times, with the help of alcohol and hangover munchies)
(Additional information if it's helpful - I go to the gym about 5-6 times a week and do gentle lifting, and for the past few months have been eating around 1500 calories, although recently I am happy to hit nearly 2000 occasionally. I even reached 2500+ a couple of times, with the help of alcohol and hangover munchies)
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From what I know from experience is that genetics determine where the weight goes.
When I was underweight my breast had become smaller, but I still had a belly pooch...
Also, sounds like you have a pear shape body, me too. I feel like my weight distribution is about the same as before I became underweight.
As to callories it sounds like you are on the right track and getting closer to eating a healthy amount!
Especially with working out so often it is important to keep fueling your body. So I'm glad to hear you are starting to figure it out
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Anorexics usually lose a ton of lean mass, too. IF you can control it, I would strongly recommend doing weight training to get a healthy balance of lean and fat mass back0
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Im also recovering and know exactly how all this feels0
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Hi there I understand how your feeling it is a very frustrating point of recovery that you are at (I'm just passing that point now) you may know this already but as you start weight restoration your body stores your weight first in your trunk because its first priority is to protect all your inportant organs. After you reach and start to maintain your body's natural weight the body begins to redistribute the weight you have gained in recovery. My guess is that you have not yet hit a healthy weight for your body and once you do you will see much improvement in your health, maybe to check in with a doctor or other health professional and see if they can help. good luck and keep going your doing well 0
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Remember that your ideas about your "tree trunk legs" etc. May well be inaccurate due to body dysmorphia- someone with your bmi will definitely not have too large/flabby anything, low self confidence sounds like it's still a real issue and I hope you have some good support around you it is also well known that once you reach your 'set point' (I'm sure you're sick of hearing about this!) Your weight will redistribute... at least that's what I'm hoping for! Well done for getting this far, the hardest part is over and you just need to have faith in yourself that you will recover fully with time. Good luck 0
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i've been in what i call recovery for over a year now, and the weird thing is, even after i thought i was eating more, i still ended up losing my period when i lost too much weight a few months ago unintentionally (think it has been hormonal issues as well). it took months for my period to come back, so when i lost it i got scared & began eating even more & actually gained weight back and now am up to a healthy weight with a returned period.
however, i think my period may now be irregular, and i still experience hairloss due to all the imbalances i created. it is getting better but has been chronic for over a year now. sometimes going so long without eating properly can cause chronic issues that overlap into recovery. it's not fun, gaining weight when you are so used to losing, and feeling like you have ruined all 'progress', whatever that may be. but i love seeing my skin healthier, my hair getting stronger, and not being cold or dizzy all the time. as for the sex drive, mine is still relatively low due to hormonal imbalances & depression. and depression/anxiety can be fueled by ED & stress in my own experience.
the weight you gain is gonna go wherever it's gonna go, you can thank genetics. but you can always tone it up, once you reach an optimal healthy weight for your height. try recomping! it's what i'm about to start working on. when i gained back weight, i did not (and still don't tbh) like everywhere i gained. but i know it's better & i can always improve it, if i don't get carried away and hurt myself.
as for all the side effects of your ED still affecting you, there's really no set time for when things will return to normal, but please don't let that discourage you. just because you're not seeing major improvements yet doesn't mean fall back down. you just gotta keep going & taking care of your body. everyone's body responds differently, but recovery is always always the right answer. i still struggle too at times. best of luck!!!0 -
I'm so proud of you for recovering.
Although I was never underweight during my struggle with eating disorders, I can definitely say that when I started eating normally I had crazy misconceptions about how my body looked, despite being ok with the food I was eating.
I can assure you that with time, and slow but steady progress, you will relearn to love and trust your body again (or, for the first time), which is ultimately the most important thing.0 -
Thanks so much for your help everyone - it's really good to hear some down-to-earth responses! I'm going to keep ploughing through, as even if my weight does stay unevenly distributed - it's better than the alternative. Fighting the body dysmorphia is tough! And good luck to all of you fighting similar battles
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I can totally relate ,, but we just have to keep on fighting ! Staying that -- Good luck all you fighters on here ! So glad to here you all are doing well ! Remember there will always be bumps in the road but recovery will be worth it ! It will only bring you health and happiness for the future ! Lots of love to you all xx0
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Anyone thought of starting a support Group or something to encourage each other?0
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I have no idea how to start a support group but that is a really fab idea!0
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I think it would be a good idea0
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I never had an actual "eating disorder" per se, but I didn't eat well (depression issues) and was at a BMI of a 14. The doctor obviously flipped out and put me on a weight gain diet. I have stayed at a BMI of the 18-20 range for the past 3 years. It is a constant struggle in the mirror when shopping because I am no longer the size I still feel accustomed to. When the pounds came on they didn't distribute and I had the same thing as you. What I would recommend is that you try heavy lifting. You will have to build up obviously, but low rep high weight workouts helped even my arms with my legs and I even moved some of that pooch to my butt. Idk what your body goal is, but no matter what people say, you will not bulk unless you are going crazy at the gym. I maintained a normal diet, but made sure I had protein and I was pleased with the results. My jeans fit way better in the butt and the waist now 0
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Take a look at the girl in my profile picture. I was several months pregnant with her before I knew it because recovery is a long process and my periods were still very hit and miss even after 18 months at my healthy weight. I am so very blessed that my foolish failures and continued body dysmorphia issues didn't hurt her. She's 21. I'm 46. Keep doing what you're doing - all of you- from my side of recovery, the view is wonderful and the work is worth it.
And, yes, the weight will redistribute itself and no, you don't look like a tree trunk, even when you feel like it.0 -
Those tree trunk legs of yours - that's your disorder talking. You're too focused on the eensy-weensy bit of fat and not seeing yourself clearly. I'd say you're still recovering and not quite recovered.
It will take some time for everything to get back in shape and it will happen slowly. Don't get discouraged. Keep eating, get your nutrients, follow your plan. I'm assuming you have a plan and a care team there. You do, right? If you don't have a therapist who specializes in EDs, get one and discuss these things!!
You should keep a journal of what you're doing and how you're feeling so that others might be able to learn from it. An honest journal. With the truth about what you're doing and don't BS on the feelings. Just write them down as they are.
Even though your ED is telling you that you have tree trunk legs, you are still eating. That really shows how far you've come. You should be really proud of your progress.
You're going to be so proud of yourself when you're done! You'll be happier and healthier. It's going to be great. So hang in there!!
Keep up the good work.
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I'm in recovery as well and I agree with a post above. When I was in the refeeding process, all my weight went straight to my thighs and stomach. I know it's frustrating and can be triggering but seriously, wait it out. I didn't change my calorie intake at all and it started redistributing on it's own.0
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I ended up getting pregnant so it kind of "forced me to eat" I noticed the way I regained was different the way I carried the baby was different. Now I am legitimately overweight. Trying to be healthy again is hard. Especially when Anorexia and Bulimia are fairly well ingrained. I'm 31 and it feels awkward trying to lose excess in a healthy way. My therapist noted that I am extremely controlling over my caloric intake and I don't know how to not be, even when its within a guideline that meets the AHA amount.0
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Having gone through recovery from a pretty unhealthy weight and really rigid and twisted thinking (and now having a great relationship with food and exercise) hopefully I can provide some reassurance that your body will start to look better with time - as depressing as this might sound, it took 2 years for me to regain my old muscle tone because I lost so much of it when I lost weight, but with gentle exercise and weightlifting I'm pretty much back to normal!
I had the opposite problem to you in that all the weight I gained went straight to my stomach which really put me off at times, after a while though your body starts to realise it's not going to be tortured again and seems to let the fat spread out around your body, and the fat around my body also seems to be more dense (ie no water retention so you look leaner). Just rest assured in the fact that there's absolutely no way you're going to look fat to anyone with a healthy mind at that bmi - it's just not physically possible!
Best of luck with your health and sorry about the awful formatting, I'm really bad at paragraphing
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Have you noticed a decrease in your general anxiety levels since getting to a healthy weight?0
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tiffanyaiv wrote: »Have you noticed a decrease in your general anxiety levels since getting to a healthy weight?
Absolutely. I've had new issues to deal with, but they pale in comparison the the daily struggles of my old life. Starvation does funny things to the brain - once you start nourishing your body, the fog will clear and your mind will start working properly again. You just have to trust the process.0 -
worldofalice wrote: »tiffanyaiv wrote: »Have you noticed a decrease in your general anxiety levels since getting to a healthy weight?
Absolutely. I've had new issues to deal with, but they pale in comparison the the daily struggles of my old life. Starvation does funny things to the brain - once you start nourishing your body, the fog will clear and your mind will start working properly again. You just have to trust the process.
Thank you do you have any other effects that you have noticed? Positive ones?
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Having gone through recovery from a pretty unhealthy weight and really rigid and twisted thinking (and now having a great relationship with food and exercise) hopefully I can provide some reassurance that your body will start to look better with time - as depressing as this might sound, it took 2 years for me to regain my old muscle tone because I lost so much of it when I lost weight, but with gentle exercise and weightlifting I'm pretty much back to normal!
I had the opposite problem to you in that all the weight I gained went straight to my stomach which really put me off at times, after a while though your body starts to realise it's not going to be tortured again and seems to let the fat spread out around your body, and the fat around my body also seems to be more dense (ie no water retention so you look leaner). Just rest assured in the fact that there's absolutely no way you're going to look fat to anyone with a healthy mind at that bmi - it's just not physically possible!
Best of luck with your health and sorry about the awful formatting, I'm really bad at paragraphing
This is so helpful to hear0 -
Hi guys. I have been struggling with anorexia for a long time and I am now weight restored. I have many tips to recovery and how you can also become weight restored. I also want to remind you guys that even though recovery is extremely hard you are very much worth it 0
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Thank you to those that have posted their recovery accounts. I'm currently IP - 2 months now (second time around too) and it's getting hard...er.
All my weight is going to my tummy and I'm getting flabby - arms and back are becoming softer.
I'll be needing to work out as soon as I get out of here...
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Well, let's see. Perhaps if you have a protein shake before heading to the gym it will encourage your body to build back muscle. Whey protein has been helpful to me. Having enough muscle, I believe, is key to having a good healthy body shape overall. You won't get manly looking. 0
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there are so many long replies here, so I'm sorry if this is repeated. I've talked to my dietitian about this as well and apparently it usually takes at LEAST a year of maintaining at a healthy weight for your body to really start redistributing. & it just takes a lot of consistency- no ups and downs in behaviours- just steady nourishment. it takes a long time, but it will happen. slowly. my weight is just starting to distribute and I didn't even notice it until it happened and I had stopped looking for it.0
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looks like youve got plenty of good responses here, but as a struggler of severe anorexia for 8-9 years, ive now been fully recovered psychologically for almost 3 years and physically for over a year and have run the GAMBIT of struggles. deathly thin to flabby thin to just flabby, unfit to fit, undereating, reactive eating, etc. finally have fixed my metaboism and have a wonderfully easy relationship with food, exercise and my body but know and relate with all the struggles and self-loathing that goes along with an ED. feel free to message me with any questions
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THE_BadRomancer wrote: »there are so many long replies here, so I'm sorry if this is repeated. I've talked to my dietitian about this as well and apparently it usually takes at LEAST a year of maintaining at a healthy weight for your body to really start redistributing. & it just takes a lot of consistency- no ups and downs in behaviours- just steady nourishment. it takes a long time, but it will happen. slowly. my weight is just starting to distribute and I didn't even notice it until it happened and I had stopped looking for it.
Thank you for this, really helpful!! Sometimes I do wonder if I am the exception to the rule, and my body was just meant to be this way... I can I ask how much you've been maintaining on?0 -
worldofalice wrote: »tiffanyaiv wrote: »Have you noticed a decrease in your general anxiety levels since getting to a healthy weight?
Absolutely. I've had new issues to deal with, but they pale in comparison the the daily struggles of my old life. Starvation does funny things to the brain - once you start nourishing your body, the fog will clear and your mind will start working properly again. You just have to trust the process.
Thank you do you have any other effects that you have noticed? Positive ones?
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