Post Anorexic, physically recovered

First off, congrats on recovery. It is very hard, but so so much better than being sick. A lot of the questions that you ask are very individual and depend on a host of other factors like your length of illness, general mental/ physical health etc... but I can share my experience.

I had anorexia for a few years when I was a teenager, and I would say it took me about three years to stop being nervous around food and reminding myself to trust my body and just eat when I felt that way. My period returned before I was fully weight restored, it is different for everyone. A few months into recovery is not that long, your body will re-adapt as you keep up healthy eating/ weight.

There are probably a few remnants of my eating disorder in my behaviour, but the only thing I notice is that I still have to be strict with myself about skipping meals or getting too hungry because if I do then it can take me a few days to get back to not thinking about food too much. You sort of have to be more healthy than normal in your approach to food/ eating to get over the disordered thinking and attitude to food in my experience. I also can't really be around people on 'diets'. I've been recovered for nearly 20 years and I am only now comfortable tracking my diet and exercise without fear of a relapse. My goal after recovery was intuitive eating, and I maintained eating that way for years. I'm tracking now because I have some fitness goals that require that I pay attention to my macros, and a schedule that means I have to do more meal planning to ensure I meet them.

If I could go back in time I would have spent more time learning about meal planning from my dietician, and I would have done some cognitive behavioural therapy just to gain better coping skills more quickly. Research shows that it can be really helpful for avoiding relapse. I had a good treatment team, but that wasn't really the thing back then.

I congratulate you on your recovery! I am a recovering EDNOS. I had a weird mix of orthorexic and anorexic behaviors, and while my BMI was not as low as yours, I was on the way to being there. What I found helpful was to think less of calories and more about nutrition, and if you take up a sport, as I did, you may be more willing to fuel yourself for the sport rather than thinking of eating/not eating.

I can't give you a time frame on your recovery or your period. Your period will depend on your body, and I advise you to see an endocrinologist to check it out.

As for eating anxiety, you will eventually have a better relationship with food. I'm undergoing therapy, and it is very helpful to see what emotional issues lie under the disordered behavior. Maybe you could give therapy a try. But most importantly, give yourself some time and some compassion for having made it this far, and remember that one bad day doesn't negate all the work you put in to recover. You will return to normal eating, and the doubts that you have about recovery are also normal.

I am at a healthy BMI, and I think I've reached my set point. I am able to keep the same clothing size and weight (within a certain range) without deprivation. I can't say that my relationship with food is perfect, but I am much better with it now. I can eat once "off limits" foods without too much anxiety or purging via exercise.

If you didn't really overshoot your pre weight, and you're maintaining it, you're doing very well. I would give your period a few months; it took me a good 3+ months of steadily eating enough to get my period back.

I am glad that you're doing some exercise. Do something that you like. Life is too short to punish yourself with grueling workouts. And if you want to build muscle, eat some protein and carbs, and lift weights. If you want to chat more, message me.

in high school I was diagnosed with EDNOS, it was a bad combination of restricting and purging. I would occasionally have big binges and purge but usually I would eat "normal amounts" (ex ppnj sandwich) and immediately throw it up. I recovered over 8 years ago when I got pregnant with my daughter. since then I've gained a great deal of weight and am on the process of losing it now. I still have ana/mia whispering in my ear every day. I don't think it's something that goes away (at least not for me) and I have to be conscious of it every day. I remind myself that it's more important to be healthy than to lose weight fast.

I had bulimia in my late teens and early 20's, stopped cold turkey for several years, then got into therapy/treatment in my early 30's when I thought about engaging in bulimic behavior again. I'm find myself very blessed for not giving into the urges and calling my doctor right away. He wasted no time getting me into group therapy for bulimics (also did individual therapy). My disordered thoughts about bulimia have not returned, though it has taken a lot of hard work to learn how to stay healthy around food and weight management.

@mollyBirchall, congratulations on your recovery. Keep the forward movement.

boogiewookie wrote: »

in high school I was diagnosed with EDNOS, it was a bad combination of restricting and purging. I would occasionally have big binges and purge but usually I would eat "normal amounts" (ex ppnj sandwich) and immediately throw it up. I recovered over 8 years ago when I got pregnant with my daughter. since then I've gained a great deal of weight and am on the process of losing it now. I still have ana/mia whispering in my ear every day. I don't think it's something that goes away (at least not for me) and I have to be conscious of it every day. I remind myself that it's more important to be healthy than to lose weight fast.

@boogiewookie, have you sought therapy and/or treatment to deal with your recurring disordered thoughts around your past eating disorder?

boogiewookie wrote: »

I was in inpatient treatment and did years of therapy. even though I still have the thoughts and always will I've learned to recognise when I'm having unhealthy or compulsive thoughts and I can resist them. I don't let them control my lifr

boogiewookie wrote: »

in high school I was diagnosed with EDNOS, it was a bad combination of restricting and purging. I would occasionally have big binges and purge but usually I would eat "normal amounts" (ex ppnj sandwich) and immediately throw it up. I recovered over 8 years ago when I got pregnant with my daughter. since then I've gained a great deal of weight and am on the process of losing it now. I still have ana/mia whispering in my ear every day. I don't think it's something that goes away (at least not for me) and I have to be conscious of it every day. I remind myself that it's more important to be healthy than to lose weight fast.

@boogiewookie, have you sought therapy and/or treatment to deal with your recurring disordered thoughts around your past eating disorder?

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Thanks for clarifying, I was just curious. The best of luck to you.

First off, congratulations on your weight recovery. It's a huge step already, especially with such poor help and support from the professional world.

I am myself on my last stretch of therapy. I was diagnosed with EDNOS about 3 years ago. My lowest BMI was 18 with a body fat percentage of about 8%. Like you, I have recovered a (very) healthy weight, but am still very much struggling with the mental side.

I've gotten a lot better with food since my 'lowest point', but there are still a lot of things I struggle with. I started calorie counting again to make sure I was eating enough (I know eat 1800/2100, if I don't count I tend to end up around 1400/1500), but have to admit I also count because I need/like the control and find it very, very difficult to let go of this. I can eat certain 'unhealthy' foods when I plan them in, but still have big issues with eating out, eating fully 'unhealthy' meals etc.

One of my main struggles is to find a balance between what is healthy and what is restrictive. I too work in the fitness/health sector hence being surrounded by people who pay close attention to their diet. The major difference between them and me is that they can have a guilt free burger and ice cream kinda night, and I can't.

As for my period: I have been on birth control pills throughout my disorder which tend to invoke your period even if you wouldn't naturally have it anymore, so I can't really say much on that point. Nor can I, I suppose, tell you much about the post-ED life as I am still recovering myself. But I will be following this thread closely and wish you all the best and luck with your mental recovery!!