In Desperate Need of Motivation and Support

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So in the last couple months I have seem to have lost my motivation. I started a new job five months ago so I don't get out as much as I did before. I try to eat as healthy as I can but noticed lately I am snacking on the wrong things again.

My husband and I have two children (7 & 2), and I really don't want them to end up in the situation we are in now. I want them to be healthy and make good food/exercise choices. I want to lose this weight for them so we can have more fun and we can go on trips to amusement parks; places I am afraid to go becuase I am too big.

**RANT**My husband says he supports me, but actions speak louder than words. Granted he needs to lose some serious weight, he says once he has his surgery for a medical condition he has we will go workout together. He uses this as his excuse to not working out now, so what is his excuse going to be after the surgery. When I bring up things to go do, that won't cause him a lot of pain, like going for a walk, go swimming, anything that involves the outdoors, he always says he doesn't want to.

I just don't know what to do, anyone have any great motivation tips for me?

Replies

  • ThisIsRae
    ThisIsRae Posts: 13 Member
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    Do not let him get you down! Maybe he needs to see you succeed before he will really be able to make the commitment it takes to lose weight. Your motivation can be taken from any of the users here, from your children, from other websites/bloggers/books/wherever you can find it, but equally as important is what comes from you. Your children will learn from your example, and if they see their mommy losing weight to be happier and healthier, that's great! If he doesn't want to go for a walk/go swimming/etc...then take your kids, and if you need time away from them then tell him he can watch them while you work out, since he doesn't want to go work out anyway. If you are willing to commit to eating healthy and working out to the best of your ability then you can do it! You are worth every bit of effort, and you will show your husband and your children what you are capable of :) Just be strong and keep on keeping on and eventually you will see the results you are looking for!
    Luck :)
  • AnnieMusicing
    AnnieMusicing Posts: 6 Member
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    Yup: the good old proverb:
    "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it."

    I am in the same exact boat as you! Hubby has promised time and again to join me and exercise, but he is too tired to go in the morning, and too exhausted to go at night. Sooooo...
    I am doing it by myself! The interesting thing is: last time I lost a significant amount of weight (25 lbs), hubby also dropped 10 lbs.
    So don't worry bout him, worry about yourself and how you are truly setting an example for everyone in your family!
    Best of luck :)
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    Find your own motivation for YOURSELF and work from there. Don't base your reasons for losing weight or getting into shape on other people. Motivation from others wanes and waxes all the time, while motivation from within is always there. Your reasons may change along the road, but you have to take charge of motivating yourself, not base it on others.

    And you can't force your husband to go along with you for exercise. No reason not to try, but don't push it. Just make a comment "i'm going for a walk, want to come along?" and if he says no, just tell him you love him and you'll be back later. Don't ever make him think that he HAS to lose weight to be with you. Even if you're not saying it, it's very easy to imply it without realizing it, and that doesn't make anyone feel good. Over time, he'll see how things are working out for you and that might prompt him to start for himself. I was in really bad shape, and as much as I wanted to walk with my husband (and tried several times), it took finding my own reasons to do so to get me to actually start something. Those reasons didn't have anything to do with him, either. I like that now when we can take walks together he doesn't have to hold back on speed anymore, that makes me feel good, but I'm perfectly happy taking walks alone.
  • Rachaelm2003
    Rachaelm2003 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you all for your insight. I think I need to reevaluate, regroup, and begin again.
  • NEWMEKELLIB
    NEWMEKELLIB Posts: 49 Member
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    I just say goodluck on your journey.... I too think once he sees your happiness and thriving with your goals, it may change him... Like you said reevalute, regroup, and Begin! I am in the same rut you ar with losing motivation. I got a new postion / location ... Im all by myself.. where I eat alone and for a person with binge eating probz I have found myself relapsing. And over the course of 5 months I have gained about 15-17lbs.. I am with you !!! At the end of the day remind yourself you are worth it! and you can do it! and do it for you NO ONE ELSE! your actions will motivate your family :) ... long walks by yourself or with a child Is mind freeing
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    I've been in this by myself all along. There is no way my husband is going to exercise just to exercise. He considers it a total waste of time. And there's no way I can push him to do that or anything else.

    Do it for yourself! Maybe he will join you sometime; maybe he won't.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Change your mindset.

    Cut the husband out of the equation and stop using him as an excuse, his progress or non progress is irrelevant. You really dont need him for your diet and hes a distraction.

    Focus on yourself and lose the weight for you. It then becomes a whole lot simpler.

    Learn how to lose weight. Buy some scales. Its all about deficit.
    Plan it.
    Make achievable realistic targets.
    Get the right mindset and just start it one day at a time.
    Progress becomes motivating.
  • mzkat17
    mzkat17 Posts: 2 Member
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    Hey I'm right with you my husband thinks if i fry his foods and just don't eat any that's helping!! NOT!!
  • AmyBecky74
    AmyBecky74 Posts: 437 Member
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    Please feel free to add me as a friend. I just got back from the store where I had to buy new shorts that are 2 sizes larger than I was. I was in tears in the dressing room. I need support and I will give lots of support.
  • Rachaelm2003
    Rachaelm2003 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you ALL!!! I have taken some time and thought about exactly what I want, and you're right I need to stop using him as an excuse. It is my time and I am going to make the best of it!