Anyone else trying to lose weight with anxiety/perfectionism?
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DuckReconMajor wrote: »
You say that as if anxiety and perfectionism is based on logic. It's not.
I also have an anxiety disorder and O.C.D. I struggle with this a ton. I deal with thoughts of having to do it perfect because otherwise i'd might as well not try.
On one hand it's helped me reach my goals because once i decided to do it that was that (including never cheating on my diet or exercise), but on the other it causes me anxiety to maintain my physique. I feel this huge pressure of all the hard work i've put in and feelings of being a failure for missing even one workout.
It's something i've worked on through meditation, personal growth, and understanding my psychology. I'm able to slowly and more surely walk in the grey. It's difficult, but i am doing it. Learning to let things go, lower your standards for others and yourself, and so on. I cannot tell you how to do this for yourself, but i'd suggest something like shadow work to understand why you are the way you are and why you hold your specific perspective.
My main point is, try and work on this NOW. Do not think that reaching your goal will help. It wont. You will never be good enough for yourself, you will always be a failure to yourself, and no amount of hard work will change that until you change your psychology. The ideal you set is too high, and it's unattainable. (damned if i didn't try and try and try) It's exhausting to live a life like this, so the only option is to make the decision to change. Or dont.0 -
PinkDeerBoy wrote: »I have anxiety too, so I can relate a lot. Do you have any smaller gyms in your area? I used to be intimidated by things like the Y and other big gyms, so I was scared of joining any gym. Now I found a smaller gym, and I'm happy there. We have about a half dozen people in a class and it makes it where I don't feel crowded/overwhelmed but not too small to be awkward for me. Now that I am used to going there and more comfortable with who is usually there, it is a lot easier for me. I think part of it is that whole 'exercise is a great way to manage anxiety' thing that my therapist has always told me.
Smaller gyms may seem too expensive, but it is SO worth it! Way less intimidating and you will actually go! Even better, make a couple friends there so you are even more encouraged to keep going!0 -
same. but actually the process of losing 100 pounds and adding in more and different exercise has helped me overcome much of my anxiety and its helped me manage my perfection tendencies in other areas. and SO MUCH OF THIS "doing something good 80% correctly is 1000x better than doing nothing at all 100% correctly."
Wow, congrats! That's really great to hear
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »Yes, me.
Small steps. First thing I did was start walking and logging my food. That's it - no structured exercise and nothing too overwhelming.
Then I started yoga and weighing my food - but still only fussing with calories.
Then I started paying attention my macros and added in some dumbbell work.
Kept tracking, and then joined a gym (8 months into it), transitioned to free weights, kept yoga and walking.
You don't have to do everything at once. Get one new habit until control at a time.
That is one of my biggest struggles. I try to do everything at once "I'll wake up at 6 every day and work out and write a book and read all the time and pick up the guitar again and and and...." until it all gets to much and I just Stop. Everything. And hide.
You did it so well, I'm really impressed. I need to remember this!grimendale wrote: »I have Asperger's and social anxiety. The trick is to try and make it work for you. Since I can get routinized, I work to set exercise and logging routines. It also helps to remember that failure is not a terrible thing (a huge problem for me). Failure is learning. If you're not failing at least sometimes, then you're probably not setting your goals high enough. I personally have found that a good sweat is about the best remedy for my anxiety. Going out into the garage and doing an insanity routine drives everything else out of my mind and when I'm done, I feel a lot more relaxed and in control.
I feel the same way about a good workout! The anxiety likes to stop me from getting there, from getting started. But once I start and keep going I feel really great. That "in control" feeling is the best!
I have such a hard time believing failure isn't the end of the world, but it isn't, it really isn't. That's great you have your own space to work out! There isn't really a "work out" space in my home, unfortunately.0 -
Anxiety sucks. There are so many of us out there!
Sometimes when I am having a bad anxiety attack and feel like I can't exercise, it actually makes me really angry. I've learned to use that anger to say "eff you anxiety", put my shoes on and get outside for a run. I'm too busy thinking about other things. I just make sure to bring my Ativan and my phone just in case
Having an active life has also helped keep my anxiety at bay.
I tend to stick with solitary exercise like running and cycling because I don't like to be in groups. As well as having social anxiety, my attacks manifest in.....uh....GI problems. If I'm out for a run and have to duck into a bush, I'd rather not be with a friend at the time
I've also learned a few coping mechanisms when I can feel an attack coming on - pressure points, visualization, etc. They help immensely.
Keep at it! I agree with other posters who'v said take it one thing at a time and don't overwhelm yourself0 -
Anxiety sucks. There are so many of us out there!
Sometimes when I am having a bad anxiety attack and feel like I can't exercise, it actually makes me really angry. I've learned to use that anger to say "eff you anxiety", put my shoes on and get outside for a run. I'm too busy thinking about other things. I just make sure to bring my Ativan and my phone just in case Having an active life has also helped keep my anxiety at bay.
I tend to stick with solitary exercise like running and cycling because I don't like to be in groups. As well as having social anxiety, my attacks manifest in.....uh....GI problems. If I'm out for a run and have to duck into a bush, I'd rather not be with a friend at the time
I've also learned a few coping mechanisms when I can feel an attack coming on - pressure points, visualization, etc. They help immensely.
Keep at it! I agree with other posters who'v said take it one thing at a time and don't overwhelm yourself
I get so angry too! What sucks is when I get really angry about it, but 2-3 hours later and it's after dark so I can't go out. But when it happens at the right time, and I can go out and do something, that's great.
Oh man, nervous stomach stuff is the worst. The other day I thought "I can do 2 doctor's appointments and hang out with friends after no problem" and my stomach said "nope" and I had to get my dad to come get me
life is embarrassing. I definitely need to learn some coping mechanisms, I should look that stuff up. 0 -
I have anxiety and I'm also a perfectionist. Bad combination. I try to take it day by day and not beat myself up if I stumble. Best thing for my anxiety is going out for a walk. It's so calming putting music on and just walk. Or I get in an early morning walk and enjoy the sounds of nature.0
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I have social anxiety and agoraphobia. I spent 7 years basically locked in my house. It took multiple last minute cancellations before I could even make it to an appointment. I wouldn't sleep for days leading up to it.
I was ashamed of my weight and how bad I let it get. I started just cutting out fast food and pop, which was fairly easy because due to the anxiety I wasn't the one going out to buy it anyway. As time has gone on things have gotten better for me, I go with my Mom and do all my own groceries (I don't drive, otherwise I could go on my own). I don't do it without anxiety, but knowing that I am buying healthy foods I really don't care if people look in my cart. I never would have thought even two years ago that I would be able to have that kind of attitude.
As for exercise, I take my dog for walks around my neighbourhood every so often (this is still really hard for me so I don't always get to do it). Mostly I do exercise in my house. I walk the hallways, do the stairs etc. Repetition is definitely key. The more you do something and you don't die (like anxiety would have us think) the easier and more confident you feel being able to do it.
I had gotten into a habit of walking the dog every day for about a month. Then I faced an incident that really triggered my anxiety. I've been stuck in avoidance mode for a while now and using the hot weather as an excuse to not go. Add to that that my weight loss is still holding steady and I have been incorporating indoor exercises... I don't feel too guilty about it. However, I do know that I can't let it take me over again. I want a life, and that requires pushing through the hard parts.0 -
I have generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. I finally just went back on meds for my anxiety disorder because it's been getting out of control. I was having anxiety attacks several times a week and just needed help because the littlest thing would set me off. I'm anxious about going to the gym lately because I turned down a personal trainer who gave me a free session, then wanted $180 a month for a year to continue the sessions. I've been so anxious about seeing him and possibly being accosted to try and sign up again that I've been avoiding the gym unless I can go at odd hours. And that kind of sucks because exercise is good for my anxiety. So I do try to walk my neighborhood or walk/run the path near the lake.
I get you, I really do. Anxiety is a pain in my butt.0 -
orchidbutterflies wrote: »I had gotten into a habit of walking the dog every day for about a month. Then I faced an incident that really triggered my anxiety. I've been stuck in avoidance mode for a while now and using the hot weather as an excuse to not go. Add to that that my weight loss is still holding steady and I have been incorporating indoor exercises... I don't feel too guilty about it. However, I do know that I can't let it take me over again. I want a life, and that requires pushing through the hard parts.
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. ((hugs)) I hope you can get yourself out the door soon!
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I'm finding that trying to change my habits is triggering a lot of my anxiety! I am trying to get to the gym, but the more I want to the less I go because I worry about it so much! It's extremely frustrating to want something and feel very afraid or unable. Does anyone else have this experience, or any suggestions?
Anxiety doesn't prevent me from exercising but procrastination does. And lately my favorite form of procrastination is being on the MFP boards >.<
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Just like Nike..."Just Do It!".
And really, stop thinking so much. Put yourself on autopilot, meaning that for routine tasks like eating, exercise, just do them on schedule, and don't think much about it. I am allowed to eat fruit, veggies, protiens...my life is simple. No bread, or products made with flour, rice, sugar...0 -
I have OCD and yes, it does affect me. I can't weigh myself daily. My husband hides the scale because I get obsessive. I can also get obsessive with weighing food. I try hard to know my limits.0
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I recently found this one that works really well: from the top of your inner wrist, measure three finger lengths down. Apply pressure with your thumb in between the tendons in that spot. Push HARD. You will know the spot when you find it (it hurts and sort of twangs). Hold it for 30 seconds and breathe. I do this one at least 5 times a day, even when I'm not having an attack. I do it so hard I leave a mark.Anxiety sucks. There are so many of us out there!
Sometimes when I am having a bad anxiety attack and feel like I can't exercise, it actually makes me really angry. I've learned to use that anger to say "eff you anxiety", put my shoes on and get outside for a run. I'm too busy thinking about other things. I just make sure to bring my Ativan and my phone just in case Having an active life has also helped keep my anxiety at bay.
I tend to stick with solitary exercise like running and cycling because I don't like to be in groups. As well as having social anxiety, my attacks manifest in.....uh....GI problems. If I'm out for a run and have to duck into a bush, I'd rather not be with a friend at the time
I've also learned a few coping mechanisms when I can feel an attack coming on - pressure points, visualization, etc. They help immensely.
Keep at it! I agree with other posters who'v said take it one thing at a time and don't overwhelm yourself
I get so angry too! What sucks is when I get really angry about it, but 2-3 hours later and it's after dark so I can't go out. But when it happens at the right time, and I can go out and do something, that's great.
Oh man, nervous stomach stuff is the worst. The other day I thought "I can do 2 doctor's appointments and hang out with friends after no problem" and my stomach said "nope" and I had to get my dad to come get me life is embarrassing. I definitely need to learn some coping mechanisms, I should look that stuff up.
Recently after a serious car accident (I wasn't physically hurt, but I was "this close" to being wiped off the earth by a tandem dump truck and the left side of my car had bad fire damage. Sadly the driver of that truck died when he burned alive in the accident), my anxiety went through the roof. I couldn't work for 3 days and driving a car was difficult for a long time. I finally got connected with a therapist that does EMDR therapy: Eye Movement Desensititization and Reprogramming. I was skeptical at first because it sounds rather hokey, but after the very first session I felt 1,000 times better. I only went to 4 sessions and was able to get on with normal life. I even drive the same route now as the accident with no issues at all. If you have a specific incident(s) that causes you anxiety, I would highly recommend seeking out this treatment.
Here's a link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing
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I recently found this one that works really well: from the top of your inner wrist, measure three finger lengths down. Apply pressure with your thumb in between the tendons in that spot. Push HARD. You will know the spot when you find it (it hurts and sort of twangs). Hold it for 30 seconds and breathe. I do this one at least 5 times a day, even when I'm not having an attack. I do it so hard I leave a mark.
Recently after a serious car accident (I wasn't physically hurt, but I was "this close" to being wiped off the earth by a tandem dump truck and the left side of my car had bad fire damage. Sadly the driver of that truck died when he burned alive in the accident), my anxiety went through the roof. I couldn't work for 3 days and driving a car was difficult for a long time. I finally got connected with a therapist that does EMDR therapy: Eye Movement Desensititization and Reprogramming. I was skeptical at first because it sounds rather hokey, but after the very first session I felt 1,000 times better. I only went to 4 sessions and was able to get on with normal life. I even drive the same route now as the accident with no issues at all. If you have a specific incident(s) that causes you anxiety, I would highly recommend seeking out this treatment.
Here's a link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing
I don't, but wow! That's really amazing and impressive that you got back after that trauma!0 -
You don't have to go to the gym to get fit! Reddit.com/r/bodyweightfitness is an amazing place to learn about increasing fitness just by using your body. Their recommended routine lets you start at your current level of fitness and go as far as you like. Plenty of knowledgeable and friendly and inspiring people on that forum to help you along, too.0
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I spent an hour and a half laying in my bed staring at the ceiling trying to convince myself to go for a walk until it got too dark and I can't go. It makes me so angry at myself. I did really well the last couple of days getting out to the gym. But I got sore and just wanted to do something small at home. I'm so mad I want to scream. I feel like a lazy piece of s***. Rationally I know this is not a big failure, but it feels like it's "setting the tone" for the whole thing, an "omen" that I can't do this, that I'm lazy and will give up, that it's useless, etc. It's just so frustrating when this happens, and I have nothing to blame but myself.0
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I deal with anxiety by turning it to my advantage - I focus on the anxiety of what happens if I *don't* follow through. Since that produces an even bigger anxiety....bob's yer uncle...0
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i suffer with anxiety and depression. have a fear of going to the doctors so i havent got my meds i usually take for sleeping and stabilizing because i cant bring myself to go and ask for them. first time i went to the pool i was terrified. but then i felt good because id done it. i go 3/4 times per week now and to be honest although once im there and in i enjoy it, getting through the doors is still a struggle a fair bit of the time. theres no easy way around itand i have no answers for you, but. your here your doing something as are we all. thats got to be worth a thumbs up xx 0
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Nothing is going to make it worse than not doing it. If it is really bad find a good therapist, I wish when I was younger I wasn't so scared of asking for help.0
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