Wedding blues

Hello,

Well I am getting married in 3 months and have put on weight from a car accident which led to major limitations, bedrest, therapy, etc. Anyway, I am extremely depressed about it because now I feel like I can't enjoy my day knowing what I used to be able to do and how I used to appear. In addition, I have tried Advocare, Weight Watchers (which has helped before) but none really seem to last. Because I want to lose 30 pounds in three months, I have been limited to a 1200 calorie intake because I am short and the weight I currently am (would rather not say). I also cannot workout due to my condition. I have been ordered some aquatic therapy ( just twice a week) which helps burn some calories. If I do this is stick to my cal intake can I lose weight? So far, after two weeks I have not lost a pound. I am extremely confused, please help I am so frustrated! Feel free to send me a message privately. Thank you.
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Replies

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Sorry about your accident.

    Forget about the fad diet plans.

    Keep your calories in less than your calories out (CI<CO).

    I've got friends doing water jogging losing weight here. You can do it too. But you don't need to exercise to lose weight. CI<CO.

    This should help:

    MFP%20Flowchart%20lemonlionheart_zps3s3xqead.jpg

    Don't focus on looking good on your wedding day. It's much more important to everyone who loves you that you recover from your accident and feel healthy.

    Plan to keep an eye on your calories for the rest of your life.

    You don't need to log them forever, but logging here for several months will make you "caloric aware" which will prepare you for a healthy life.

  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,574 Member
    Buy a food scale, weigh and measure your food to put in the diary. After we week or two you will get used to the diary. Set your goals to about one to one and a half pounds a week. Aqua exercises are good.
    Focus on being happy and in good spirits on your wedding day. <3
  • NoIdea101NoIdea
    NoIdea101NoIdea Posts: 659 Member
    You will have to accept that losing 10lbs in 3 months, especially if you can't exercise, is just most likely not going to be possible; I know that isn't what you want to hear, but unless you give yourself realistic expectations, then you are just going to be bitterly disappointed, and a wedding is something which should be enjoyed!

    But yes, as the others have said, use MFP to work out how many calories you should be eating a day, buy a food scale and weigh and log everything. Aqua exercises would be a good idea, or could you manage dumbbells?

    The main thing to remember is that this is your wedding day; everyone will be too happy for you to be judging like that, especially considering the accident. And you should be too :)
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,427 Member
    edited July 2015
    You could lose some weight in 3 months. 10-20 lbs is probably more realistic. 30 lbs is pretty aggresive for 3 months and you might not be looking or feeling your best. Be patient and create a lasting healthy change.
    Set a goal of 1 lb a week. Eat the calories MFP gives you. Measure and weigh food and drinks and log everything as accurately as you can. If you haven't lost then you are probably not logging accurately.
  • WeddedBliss1992
    WeddedBliss1992 Posts: 414 Member
    getting married should be about the marriage, not about the wedding; at least, not ALL about the wedding. i know the wedding day is important, but so many people focus on that day, and don't take much time to consider the rest of their life together. focus on healthy eating and get into a healthy lifestyle that you and your spouse can live with for the rest of your life. that is more important than dropping 30 pounds. i really think that is too lofty a goal for 3 months. you want to be HEALTHY, you want your skin to be glowing in your photos, you want to be happy, you also don't want to pass-out at the altar because you haven't eaten properly all summer! i have been married for 23 year and yes my wedding day was awesome, but i can honestly say that there are 1000 little things that are far more memorable than that day, and you will be much more fulfilled in your relationship if you will focus on the internal things rather than how you look. congrats, BTW :smile:
  • KateSimpson17
    KateSimpson17 Posts: 282 Member
    It's so unfortunate that you've had such a terrible thing happen so close to your wedding. Everyone here has given you great advice, but I just wanted to add that I've seen very skinny/fit brides, very large brides, very in-between brides... and all of them are equally gorgeous because the happiness of getting married radiates from them.
    I totally understand wanting to look perfect for your wedding... I'm not even engaged, but that's why I started growing my hair out 3 years ago (before I'd even had my first boyfriend), that's why I finally decided to start losing weight (I want to be READY when the day comes), etc. But we could honestly show up to the wedding in our pjs with messy hair and a massive food baby, and that man would still want to marry us. That's the beautiful thing about love. You don't have to worry about how anyone else feels about the way you look except him, and he thinks your beautiful no matter what. And if it's the pictures you're worried about, remember that you can always get super cute anniversary pictures done when you get where you want to be. Congratulations, and good luck!
  • zebrablueyes
    zebrablueyes Posts: 22 Member
    Thanks everyone! But what I think confuses me the most is calorie on should be less than calories out as Orphia was explaining. When I do water therapy on average I burn 200 calories wearing my polar. If I did that ip to 5 days a week that's only 1000 calories. Are you including calories burned as in TOTAL calories burned per day without excersises? My fit but says I burn 1500 on average without exercising and I don't believe that. If if was true 1500+ 200 is 1700 minus the 200 for workout is 1500 calories burned per day? How is this possible? So then I'd be burning around 7500 calories a week averaging to 2 lbs a week? I'm so confused
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,605 Member
    To lose weight it's Calories In < Calories Out

    The calories in is what you eat, that much should be obvious.

    The calories out is everything your body burns which includes your BMR (what your body burns just to stay alive), your motion throughout the day, and your intentional exercise. This is called your TDEE.

    **Keep it simple. Put your stats into MFP, choose 1lb a week and whatever your activity level is before exercise. Then eat the number of calories it tells you to. If you do intentional exercise add that in and eat those calories back. Your deficit to lose 1lb a week is already calculated. If you net what MFP tells you to, you should lose steadily.**

    30 lbs is a lot to lose in 3 months, especially if you only have 30 lbs to lose. Please set more realistic expectations. If you only have 30lbs to lose, you will probably only lose 0.5 to 1lb a week.
  • kat_princess12
    kat_princess12 Posts: 110 Member
    Have you talked to a doctor about what rate of weight loss would be healthy for you? You will look better if you're healthy and only lost 15-20 pounds than if you lose 30 pounds and look cranky and lethargic.

    And take courage! On your wedding day, everyone will think you are gorgeous! Love, not weight, is what makes a bride beautiful.
  • zebrablueyes
    zebrablueyes Posts: 22 Member
    No I haven't talked to my doctor but I'm really logging everything now 1200 cals carb less than 100 and fiber high and fat low...hopefully I see some small changes soon!
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    No I haven't talked to my doctor but I'm really logging everything now 1200 cals carb less than 100 and fiber high and fat low...hopefully I see some small changes soon!

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,040 Member
    Thanks everyone! But what I think confuses me the most is calorie on should be less than calories out as Orphia was explaining. When I do water therapy on average I burn 200 calories wearing my polar. If I did that ip to 5 days a week that's only 1000 calories. Are you including calories burned as in TOTAL calories burned per day without excersises? My fit but says I burn 1500 on average without exercising and I don't believe that. If if was true 1500+ 200 is 1700 minus the 200 for workout is 1500 calories burned per day? How is this possible? So then I'd be burning around 7500 calories a week averaging to 2 lbs a week? I'm so confused

    How long have you had your Fitbit? If you've had it a while, it's your TDEE and yes, it's fairly accurate, but that's not what you should be eating to lose weight. Remember that your body burns calories just keeping you alive, so YES! believe it.

    As for what the polar is recording for your burn... maybe it's accurate, depending on how steady your exercise is. Are there are lot of stops and starts?

    Would it be possible to add more water exercising at all, or are you limited to just the two aqua therapy sessions? There are other ways of exercising in the water, if you are able to access the pool, that have no impact on the joints. I water jog and love it. It's a great calorie burner, with zero impact on the joints. Talk to your doctor about it.

    Back to what your burning.... your fitbit calculates your TDEE at 1500. That means eating at 1200 creates a 300 calorie deficit. Over a week, that will be 2100 calories or .6 pounds a week, without exercise.

    If you'd like to ask me more involved questions, feel free to PM me.

  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    No I haven't talked to my doctor but I'm really logging everything now 1200 cals carb less than 100 and fiber high and fat low...hopefully I see some small changes soon!

    Can you open your diary?
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,063 Member
    edited July 2015
    My fit but says I burn 1500 on average without exercising and I don't believe that

    Your Fitbit burn is TDEE (total daily energy expenditure), the calories necessary to maintain your current weight. If you eat less than that, you will lose weight. But you must log everything you eat & drink accurately and honestly. Logging works.

    Connect your accounts at http://www.myfitnesspal.com/fitbit

    Set your goal to .5 lb. for every 25 lbs. you're overweight: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided

    Enable negative calorie adjustments: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings

    Ignore your Fitbit calorie goal and follow MFP's, eating back your adjustments.

    You can learn more in the Fitbit Users group: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/1290-fitbit-users
    Because I want to lose 30 pounds in three months, I have been limited to a 1200 calorie intake because I am short and the weight I currently am (would rather not say). I also cannot workout due to my condition.

    A healthy, sustainable loss is .5 lb. per week for every 25 lbs. you're overweight. You will not lose 30 lbs. in 12 weeks.

    To understand how weight loss works, please read the Sexypants post: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • CaitlinW19
    CaitlinW19 Posts: 431 Member
    I'm sorry hon. You have a tough challenge. Do you weigh your food? If you do not, I would start there to make sure you aren't eating more calories than you think. As the poster above notes, that 1,500 is what you should eat to maintain, so eating 1,200 is a 300 calories under a day, which should result in weight loss. 1,500 is probably pretty close...it's a very typical number for someone who only has 30 or so pounds to lose. Your body uses a surprising amount of calories to keep everything just running...breathing, heart beat, digestion, thinking, fighting off germies...all of that takes energry which comes from food and it's all going on constantly. Infact, things like reading or doing crossword puzzles burn more calories than watching tv...it's not a huge difference...but you could try to make more choices to engage your mind more actively and it may help.
  • zebrablueyes
    zebrablueyes Posts: 22 Member
    Thank you I really appreciate the advice. In addition, I realize I have gained some weight due to my injury but I thought this forum was supposed to be about positivity. I don't need anyone calling me overweight repeatedly, it's immature. Why do you think I am trying to lose weight? So please don't comment on here because I don't need any more negativity from anyone on here.

    Also, I am mainly trying to lose inches in my arms. I have heard and read that you shouldn't really do major lifting because it will just keep your fat and build it into muscle/ I have read that it is better to lose weight first before trying to tone your arms? Thoughts? Also I have heard that you can burn fat without gaining muscle if you use ight 2-3 dumbbells and do arms?

    Thanks
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,063 Member
    I am mainly trying to lose inches in my arms. I have heard and read that you shouldn't really do major lifting because it will just keep your fat and build it into muscle/ I have read that it is better to lose weight first before trying to tone your arms? Thoughts? Also I have heard that you can burn fat without gaining muscle if you use ight 2-3 dumbbells and do arms?

    You cannot spot reduce. If you learn to log everything you eat & drink accurately and eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose weight. But where that weight comes off is entirely determined by genetics.
  • zebrablueyes
    zebrablueyes Posts: 22 Member
    I asked you to not post on this thread specifically.
  • healthylili2015
    healthylili2015 Posts: 24 Member
    I don't think editorgrrl was calling you overweight. I think she was saying a goal of 0.5lbs/week for every 25 lbs you want to lose is very sensible. Therefore, because I want to lose 100 pounds 2lbs/week would be a good goal. The wording in her post was a little off but I really don't think it was meant to insult. Just my thoughts :smiley:

    You look fantastic already! Thirty pounds might be a hard to reach goal. Do you think you might still feel good with a 10lb weight loss?
  • SunnyPacheco
    SunnyPacheco Posts: 142 Member
    edited July 2015
    Also, I am mainly trying to lose inches in my arms. I have heard and read that you shouldn't really do major lifting because it will just keep your fat and build it into muscle/ I have read that it is better to lose weight first before trying to tone your arms? Thoughts? Also I have heard that you can burn fat without gaining muscle if you use ight 2-3 dumbbells and do arms?

    Thanks

    Your body doesn't turn fat into muscle. Losing inches in your arms will require losing fat, but your body chooses where that fat comes off. You also really can't build muscle while you're eating in a deficit. If you're interested in a "toned" look you absolutely should lift more than 2-3 lbs if you are physically able to and make sure you eat enough protein to maintain as much lean muscle as possible while trying to lose weight (i.e. so that most of your weight loss comes from fat and not muscle).