Help, i've been slacking for over a year and can't get back on track....

I was there, right near where I wanted to be. Then people were commenting about me being too strict, exercising too much, etc. So, I started cheating a bit. Well cheating a bit has got me to where I am today. About a year and a half later I feel like I failed miserably. I'm too afraid to get on the scale, I have no motivation because i'm so disgusted with myself. I need to get back to where I was!! The worst part is that i'm embarrased to go to the ymca, because I don't want anyone seeing how much i've gained. Plus i'm just embarrased in general about it (with family and friends). Any tips on getting back? I use to run and really I hated it, so I don't want to start that back up. I cancelled the y membership. I am good with just walking, but I don't know if just walking will get me to where I was before. Any tips from those that might have been me and were able to do it again? Thanks!!