Stopping Junk Food From Coming in my House
Caligirl4soccer
Posts: 40 Member
Even though I tell my husband to stop buying junk food, etc. Pop tarts, chips, sugary cereal he still does. If it is in the house I eventually cave and give in and eat it. I have had this conversation with him many times and he says he does support me and that I should be able to resist the foods. I don't know how to make it so clear to him it has to stop. Please give me some suggestions to stop my husband from bringing junk food in the housr.
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I agree with your husband. It's your eating plan and your problem, therefore it's you who has to adapt in the world around you, not the other way around.0
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Perhaps you could do the shopping. Or collect the problem foods and send it to work with him the next day. You could also donate it.
I also get my husband to hide things from me. At Halloween I buy the candy and order my husband to hide it so I'm not tempted. He automatically stashes his chocolate in his work room now because in the past I might have eaten it.
That's a tough one...0 -
This discussion seems to come up quite a bit on these discussion boards (I'm new so I've been doing a lot of reading of the old posts). The responses seem to fall into two camps: 1) He should do everything he can to support you, including keeping junk food out of sight and even eating the same food as you, and 2) He should not have to give up the things he loves just because you are on a diet.
I think I fall somewhere in between. I don't mind that my husband has food that I have to avoid, but there are things he can do to help me resist. For instance, I need to have enough room in the fridge and freezer for all my lean meats and veggies. No problem there. Where we don't quite have agreement is when he suggests eating out way more than I can afford to (in terms of calories). I hate to have to always be in the position of saying no, but there it is. We are trying to compromise by eating out together once a week.
Could you clean out a cupboard for your husband and ask him to put ALL of his indulgent, calorie-laden food in there? That way, you don't have to see it, and if you open that door it's on you. As opposed to having bags of chips and cookies and things strewn all over the kitchen.0 -
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Just because you have decided to make a change, doesn't mean you can inflict it on someone else. It's hard, but it's part of the whole course. It's his house too. Ask him to hide it, if that helps. But yeah, it's not fair of you to expect him to just stop having the things he loves because you can't resist.0
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I do alot of the grocery shopping. I have told him that's fine you can buy that stuff but just put it somewhere I don't know you have it. I have never denied him from eating it. I see both sides of it. So here is the other question. Please give me strong suggestions to have the willpower not to eat junkfood if it is in my face. Some days I'm great but a few days a week I crave junk food and I want to eat more clean
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Lourdesong wrote: »I agree with your husband. It's your eating plan and your problem, therefore it's you who has to adapt in the world around you, not the other way around.
Very good point of view
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You're making this very tough for me, OP. I like to side with the women, always...
...but I just can't. It isn't fair to him for you to say, "I want to lose weight, so you can't eat Pop Tarts." It just so isn't.
What would be fair would be some kind of compromise. Maybe he could keep the stuff in a different room, so it's not right there in plain sight when you go into the pantry. Something like that.
I know the pain of watching others indulge all the time while you sit there and wish you could. But it gets easier, once you learn to resist. The first time you don't cave in is the hardest one. After that, you have the confidence that comes with knowing you can resist. Each time, it gets easier until it becomes no big deal. Practice resisting, even when you don't have to do it. You'll get good at it!!
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Is it possible for him to purchase single-serve sizes of some of those things just for himself? E.g. a small bag of chips vs econo-size, at least. Honestly, there are times, usually when I'm vulnerable (i.e. I waited to eat and let myself get hungry or hangry, or it's that time of the month, or both) that I still can't handle myself around a big bag of chips.
The cereal and pop tarts probably aren't available in single servings; in that case I'd suggest making your own breakfast MUCH more appetizing and filling. Try to plan ahead, so that you're full on stuff that *isn't* a trigger and *is* tasty. If you're still finding your feet diet-wise, experiment with a few different recipes. Lots of people find focusing on protein and fats helps keep them full, but you will have to try different things and see what ratios work for you.
You could also, if you're feeling very deprived, go to 0.5 or 1 lb loss a week instead of 2 lbs, if that's what you've got right now. Again, much easier to be moderate when you're not full-on hangry.0 -
I do alot of the grocery shopping. I have told him that's fine you can buy that stuff but just put it somewhere I don't know you have it. I have never denied him from eating it. I see both sides of it. So here is the other question. Please give me strong suggestions to have the willpower not to eat junkfood if it is in my face. Some days I'm great but a few days a week I crave junk food and I want to eat more clean
My answer isn't popular. I walked away from most carbs so I could get a handle on my sugar cravings. I can't have it or I have cravings. A diet with no added sugars and no grains, and reduced fruit is what I now eat. It was tough for about two weeks but it worked and my cravings for sugar are basically gone. I think I could eat low carb and high fat long term. Not everyone enjoys it though.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
ps. I still think you should get him to hide his treats, at least until you have better control over your cravings.
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I will also say that banning triggers from my place, while making goal-serving stuff more available, absolutely worked for me when I started. So I obviously think it can help. But I live alone, and this isn't an option for everyone.
In terms of negotiating it, I don't know, maybe ask him to try to support you with some small changes that might be easier for him to actually do (e.g. the small bag of chips), but appreciate that he's not on this diet, you are
To elaborate. My experience was that a short period of sticking to a lower carb diet, with meat, more veggies, whole grains, dairy, nuts, and some fruits, helped me sort of "reset". I found I wanted less of the foods I'd previously tended to eat too much of. (Except for a very few things, under particular conditions). I later got back to a more varied diet and found it very easy to moderate. All of a sudden, I had "willpower".0 -
... Just don't eat any food he buys on his own for himself. Think of it in roommate-standards; don't eat someone else's personal stash of goodies. If it 'makes you' buy your own, that's premeditated and not spur-of-the-moment snacking-because-it-is-there, and would then be your own fault.0
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I do alot of the grocery shopping. I have told him that's fine you can buy that stuff but just put it somewhere I don't know you have it. I have never denied him from eating it. I see both sides of it. So here is the other question. Please give me strong suggestions to have the willpower not to eat junkfood if it is in my face. Some days I'm great but a few days a week I crave junk food and I want to eat more clean
If he can have sugary cereal and pop tarts, but he can't bring cereal and pop tarts in the house, where can he keep these items? And is there a fridge for milk and a toaster in that designated junk food area?
I have the willpower to control my portions and work calorie-dense, nutritionally light foods that I like into my day and make it fit into my goals.
OTOH, if I can't enjoy a reasonable amount of something, like Ranch dressing, I won't eat any. The amount I want is not worth the calories nor the load of effort required of me to make an unreasonable amount of Ranch dressing "work." But this is the exception rather than the rule, most things are just fine and satisfying in reasonable quantities.
I would fail if I didn't give myself permission to have a bowl of Lucky Charms should I want a bowl of Lucky Charms, and especially if I restricted myself to eating only that which comes from the produce section or whatever.
But that's me, if anyone else can manage being happy by such a diet that I would be miserable on, then more power to them. Given what you've said about how you lose control around junk food, I have my doubts that your clean eating plan is sustainable.
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You're never going to completely get away from junk food, especially if your husband likes to eat it. Why should he suffer because you're losing weight? This is about YOU, not your husband. You're going to have to put it away, (out of site out of mind) and learn to deal with it being in the house, and frankly, all over the world.0
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Yea I tell my mother that too but honestly its ourselves we must change. We got to learn to resist temptation and so far its working for me. Work with yours so it can work for a lifetime!0
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... Just don't eat any food he buys on his own for himself. Think of it in roommate-standards; don't eat someone else's personal stash of goodies. If it 'makes you' buy your own, that's premeditated and not spur-of-the-moment snacking-because-it-is-there, and would then be your own fault.
I agree with PixelPuff, I currently reside with my Mother & Sister & they bring into the house & consume, whatever they want & I never ask them, to not or even to hide it. Since it's their's it'd be stealing if I ate and/or drank something of theirs. So I treat their beverages & foods, the way I'd treat it, in the grocery store. Just because it's on the shelf, doesn't mean; I can steal it. It's forbidden to me, if I don't have enough money & Calories; for it. However since because you generally do share things with a spouse, treat it as something that you wouldn't share with each other; like each other's used toilet paper.0 -
Nvm...too mean.0
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This discussion seems to come up quite a bit on these discussion boards (I'm new so I've been doing a lot of reading of the old posts). The responses seem to fall into two camps: 1) He should do everything he can to support you, including keeping junk food out of sight and even eating the same food as you, and 2) He should not have to give up the things he loves just because you are on a diet.
I think I fall somewhere in between. I don't mind that my husband has food that I have to avoid, but there are things he can do to help me resist. For instance, I need to have enough room in the fridge and freezer for all my lean meats and veggies. No problem there. Where we don't quite have agreement is when he suggests eating out way more than I can afford to (in terms of calories). I hate to have to always be in the position of saying no, but there it is. We are trying to compromise by eating out together once a week.
Could you clean out a cupboard for your husband and ask him to put ALL of his indulgent, calorie-laden food in there? That way, you don't have to see it, and if you open that door it's on you. As opposed to having bags of chips and cookies and things strewn all over the kitchen.
Awesome idea!
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You're making this very tough for me, OP. I like to side with the women, always...
...but I just can't. It isn't fair to him for you to say, "I want to lose weight, so you can't eat Pop Tarts." It just so isn't.
What would be fair would be some kind of compromise. Maybe he could keep the stuff in a different room, so it's not right there in plain sight when you go into the pantry. Something like that.
I know the pain of watching others indulge all the time while you sit there and wish you could. But it gets easier, once you learn to resist. The first time you don't cave in is the hardest one. After that, you have the confidence that comes with knowing you can resist. Each time, it gets easier until it becomes no big deal. Practice resisting, even when you don't have to do it. You'll get good at it!!
Thank you0 -
He has the right to keep foods that he enjoys eating in his home. He does live there. The burden is on you to stick to your eating plan. You are responsible for what you eat, not him.
Personally I think the easiest way to resist that type of stuff is to not eat it all all. Then the cravings go away. I just never buy it. However, if if someone else brought it home constantly, I admit that could be a problem for me.
In this case, perhaps ask your husband to hide it, or give him his own cabinet for his things that you don't want to eat. Then you won't constantly see it when you are looking for something else. If all else fails, maybe a padlock only he has the key or combination for would work. Perhaps on one of those mini fridges. LOL! I'm joking, but not really. If that keeps you both happy, keeps you eating the way you want to, and prevents fights, why not?0 -
I have three male roommates... I know the annoyance of having people steal your food. Roommate stole over a pound of hard candies I had in my food cabinet. OVERNIGHT. I go through them slow, but there are times I need the sugar. Just because it was in view [two of the cabinets don't have doors, it was designed that way], does not mean it is free to take.MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »... Just don't eat any food he buys on his own for himself. Think of it in roommate-standards; don't eat someone else's personal stash of goodies. If it 'makes you' buy your own, that's premeditated and not spur-of-the-moment snacking-because-it-is-there, and would then be your own fault.
I agree with PixelPuff, I currently reside with my Mother & Sister & they bring into the house & consume, whatever they want & I never ask them, to not or even to hide it. Since it's their's it'd be stealing if I ate and/or drank something of theirs. So I treat their beverages & foods, the way I'd treat it, in the grocery store. Just because it's on the shelf, doesn't mean; I can steal it. It's forbidden to me, if I don't have enough money & Calories; for it. However since because you generally do share things with a spouse, treat it as something that you wouldn't share with each other; like each other's used toilet paper.
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I have three male roommates... I know the annoyance of having people steal your food. Roommate stole over a pound of hard candies I had in my food cabinet. OVERNIGHT. I go through them slow, but there are times I need the sugar. Just because it was in view [two of the cabinets don't have doors, it was designed that way], does not mean it is free to take.MondayJune22nd2015 wrote: »... Just don't eat any food he buys on his own for himself. Think of it in roommate-standards; don't eat someone else's personal stash of goodies. If it 'makes you' buy your own, that's premeditated and not spur-of-the-moment snacking-because-it-is-there, and would then be your own fault.
I agree with PixelPuff, I currently reside with my Mother & Sister & they bring into the house & consume, whatever they want & I never ask them, to not or even to hide it. Since it's their's it'd be stealing if I ate and/or drank something of theirs. So I treat their beverages & foods, the way I'd treat it, in the grocery store. Just because it's on the shelf, doesn't mean; I can steal it. It's forbidden to me, if I don't have enough money & Calories; for it. However since because you generally do share things with a spouse, treat it as something that you wouldn't share with each other; like each other's used toilet paper.
I had that problem with 1 of my brother's, before my Mother had to eventually make him leave; for an unrelated reason but yeah I had to turn my bedroom closet, into a partial pantry; when he was here.0 -
Probably mentioned before, but you can't expect him to give up his munchies. Dedicate a drawer/cupboard to them and train yourself not to look/eat. There will always be munchies around--a party, some lonely night in the house, going to the movies, etc. You will have to train yourself to withstand temptation. Lock up the cupboard if you have to until you feel you have a handle on your cravings, but they are YOUR cravings and YOU, unfortunately, are the one who has to manage them. Good luck!0
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Faithful_Chosen wrote: »Probably mentioned before, but you can't expect him to give up his munchies. Dedicate a drawer/cupboard to them and train yourself not to look/eat. There will always be munchies around--a party, some lonely night in the house, going to the movies, etc. You will have to train yourself to withstand temptation. Lock up the cupboard if you have to until you feel you have a handle on your cravings, but they are YOUR cravings and YOU, unfortunately, are the one who has to manage them. Good luck!
Yep, he's allowed to have his stuff. My DH still has pop tarts and so forth around the house. Every so often I cave and regret it, but that's on me not him. He generally keeps it out of my sight and I just pretend I don't see it. It's not realistic to be in a 100% temptation free environment - there's always going to be something somewhere!
It would be different if he was taunting you with it or egging you on to eat it, because that's just unkind. But if he's buying stuff he likes and keeping it where he lives, well...yeah. That's allowed.0 -
Could you clean out a cupboard for your husband and ask him to put ALL of his indulgent, calorie-laden food in there? That way, you don't have to see it, and if you open that door it's on you. As opposed to having bags of chips and cookies and things strewn all over the kitchen.
This is a great idea. Out of sight out of mind generally.
Good compromise I think.
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What's next? Stopping all social activities or going out at all just so you can avoid temptation?
You have to learn to view food as just that.... food. Avoiding any food that you determine detrimental to your goals isn't healthy. Learning to be in control as opposed to the food being in control takes time but you can't do that if you're constantly trying to control your environment.
Members of your family should be able to enjoy the foods that they like without it sending you into a tail spin. You need to stop labeling foods as good or bad, it's just fuel for your body.
I eat completely differently to my husband but I cook him all the foods he loves and he brings whatever he wants into the house. Does it get tough for me when I'm in certain phases of dieting... Yes of course it does but he shouldn't have to suffer just because of my choices. When we first met it was hard for me being surrounded by foods that were not going to help me achieve my goals but its actually helped in how I view food and helps me maintain a healthy attitude to it.
If your diet is so restrictive that you can't bear any food in the house that you see as a temptation then you need to rework your eating plan. Balance is the key to long term success.0 -
This discussion seems to come up quite a bit on these discussion boards (I'm new so I've been doing a lot of reading of the old posts). The responses seem to fall into two camps: 1) He should do everything he can to support you, including keeping junk food out of sight and even eating the same food as you, and 2) He should not have to give up the things he loves just because you are on a diet.
I think I fall somewhere in between. I don't mind that my husband has food that I have to avoid, but there are things he can do to help me resist. For instance, I need to have enough room in the fridge and freezer for all my lean meats and veggies. No problem there. Where we don't quite have agreement is when he suggests eating out way more than I can afford to (in terms of calories). I hate to have to always be in the position of saying no, but there it is. We are trying to compromise by eating out together once a week.
Could you clean out a cupboard for your husband and ask him to put ALL of his indulgent, calorie-laden food in there? That way, you don't have to see it, and if you open that door it's on you. As opposed to having bags of chips and cookies and things strewn all over the kitchen.
Or you could do the "reasonable" thing and get a divorce.
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This discussion seems to come up quite a bit on these discussion boards (I'm new so I've been doing a lot of reading of the old posts). The responses seem to fall into two camps: 1) He should do everything he can to support you, including keeping junk food out of sight and even eating the same food as you, and 2) He should not have to give up the things he loves just because you are on a diet.
I think I fall somewhere in between. I don't mind that my husband has food that I have to avoid, but there are things he can do to help me resist. For instance, I need to have enough room in the fridge and freezer for all my lean meats and veggies. No problem there. Where we don't quite have agreement is when he suggests eating out way more than I can afford to (in terms of calories). I hate to have to always be in the position of saying no, but there it is. We are trying to compromise by eating out together once a week.
Could you clean out a cupboard for your husband and ask him to put ALL of his indulgent, calorie-laden food in there? That way, you don't have to see it, and if you open that door it's on you. As opposed to having bags of chips and cookies and things strewn all over the kitchen.
I just wanted to say how refreshing it is that someone new to the forums would spend time using the search feature and reading up on the topics/questions that are posted ad nauseum! If more people took time to do this we would probably have far fewer posts/arguments about inane topics!
OP I agree with others that have said that ultimately this is your responsibility to identify ways to deal with the temptations of the foods your husband still enjoys eating. I am a firm believer in fitting in all foods you like in moderation, and that for many people, completely avoiding them can lead to overdoing it and feeling despondent about their actions when they do indulge. However I know many others have success in completely eliminating certain trigger foods temporarily, until they learn how to work it in without going overboard. I'm not sure what the right answer is for you.
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There will always be temptations. You're responsible for what you put in your mouth. Your whole family shouldn't have to diet because of you.
Also, just think of it as his snacks. I'd be annoyed if my husband ate my stuff. Just leave his stuff alone.0 -
OP... you need to change the way you think about food rather than make your husband change. If you know you will "cave" and eat some of your husband's "junk food" why not just plan to enjoy some once in a while within your calorie budget?
Others have pretty much said the same thing I would. You can't and should not force your husband to give up what he enjoys because of your lack of self control. Life seldom makes things exactly convenient for us to achieve our goals. Achieve them anyway. You have to learn how to function in the real world some time.0
This discussion has been closed.
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