just re-found the motivation I lost!

In 2009 I lost 44 pounds!! Yay me!!! I was so motivated. In 2010 my son started showing signs of autism. Or I should say that I could not deny the signs any longer. I spent a lot of 2010 trying to figure out how to help my child. He started kindergarten and whoaaaa the signs were screaming at me. I finally took him to be diagnosed in Dec. 2010. Finally, some answers but I woke up and realized I gained back 24 of those 44. I know that is not an excuse but I just could not even focus on me. Finally this year in April my son is in a class that is more suitable for him and life is getting better. I keep trying to get back on the wagon and fall off. My eldest child graduated from high school on Friday and I am so proud. She has done fantastic and been excepted into college. We took pictures together and I am hardly smiling. I made her promise not to put the picture on her facebook because of how fat I am . Really?!?!?!? I know I look like a jerk. I am so ashamed of the pictures of me. I don't ever want to do this to my kids again. I am posting this today to remind myself that I am worth the effort. That my precious children are worth having me present in their lives. Any how this is me making a commitment to myself and the mfp community. I am NEVER going to be this big again!!! I start today!