I am getting so discouraged. Please help me not give up
clearlydivinesounique
Posts: 43 Member
As a teenager, I was so active and fit. I danced, did karate, gymnastics, track, and basic lifting...and then I went to college and the weight started to pile on. I am now 34, 5'11' 344 lbs (down from 398 since November) and struggling. I broke my ankle 2 years ago so I have a difficult time with maintaining form with my deadlifts, and squats. I can leg press about 850, hack press about 350 and my trainer refuses to let me push and try deadlifting and squats fully because of my ankle. My core is very weak so we are working on strengthening that but I have hit this brick wall. My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous. On top of that, when I exercise at the gym, I get hit with these massive cramps either in my traps, hamstrings, or lower back. Cardio isn't a problem thank goodness. I'm reaching out for any advice at all. I have this vision in my head of getting SOME of my former glory back. I want to lift!!!! I don't know if it's a fools dream but I want to compete. I know that I have a long road ahead and I am putting the work in...will continue to put the work in, but right now I am so discouraged. I feel like my body is fighting me. Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing.
I HAVE to reverse this. I dropped 54 lbs. I've shrunk 27 inches. I've dropped 2 dress sizes!!!!!! I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING!!! I want this.
Any help at all would be so deeply appreciated
I HAVE to reverse this. I dropped 54 lbs. I've shrunk 27 inches. I've dropped 2 dress sizes!!!!!! I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING!!! I want this.
Any help at all would be so deeply appreciated
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Replies
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You've lost 54lbs, 27 inches and 2 dress sizes... What you're doing is working.
Starvation mode doesn't keep you from losing. It doesn't work the way many people like to use it. Metabolism can slow down if not eating enough, but you will absolutely still lose weight. It's just not the best way... And even if it did work the way you meant, you've lost a lot of weight... So I don't understand...
Anyway, if you are getting enough calories and nutrients from those 2 meals, then I wouldn't worry about missing lunch. I almost never have 3 meals a day. I'm just not hungry enough for it. Maybe take a supplement for some insufficient nutrients, just in case.
If you're not getting enough calories, maybe consider more calorie rich foods since your appetite isn't playing along with the 3 meals a day idea.0 -
You can lose weight without exercise. You are still exercising and you have lost 54 pounds in about 9 months. I'm not sure what you are asking since you are still exercising and losing weight. I make myself eat three times a day even if one meal is just a piece of fruit or a cup of yogurt.0
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You sound like you're doing good to me . I'm in my late 40's and all I want to lose is 35 lbs. I need to do what you're doing !! Maybe I would suggest changing up your routines . That's what I was told or maybe make your dinner your lightest meal . Some people switch and eat that way . Yes they say it doesn't help to skip meals . I need more help . I'm going to read your post again !! Good luck . Give me some more advice on how you lost them lbs ! Thanks !0
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Just remember - if it was easy, everyone would do it. You're special because you're toughing it out. Weaker people quit when they get to where you are. So, just don't quit! People here will help you with your appetite issues, or maybe you need to see a nutritionist or your doctor. But don't stop now! It's supposed to be hard. It sounds like you're doing great. Keep going.0
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Reclaim your former glory! It's yours for the taking! I didn't quite pick up on where the discouragement is coming from. It sounds like you're doing great. Has your weight stalled? Have you read about whooshes? http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/of-whooshes-and-squishy-fat.html/
A lot of people keep the faith but see no scale movement for 3 weeks then --whoosh--they drop 3 weeks worth in 1-2 days. So in the end it averages out, but it's vexing along the way. There is no starvation mode. Eating at a big deficit for a prolonged period can cause a metabolic adaptation, I.e. Lower BMR, but if you are at a caloric deficit, you will lose weight. Just not on a straight, predictable line. It's sad you feel your body is fighting you. Can you say more about that? Is it appetite loss?0 -
clearlydivinesounique wrote: »As a teenager, I was so active and fit. I danced, did karate, gymnastics, track, and basic lifting...and then I went to college and the weight started to pile on. I am now 34, 5'11' 344 lbs (down from 398 since November) and struggling. I broke my ankle 2 years ago so I have a difficult time with maintaining form with my deadlifts, and squats. I can leg press about 850, hack press about 350 and my trainer refuses to let me push and try deadlifting and squats fully because of my ankle. My core is very weak so we are working on strengthening that but I have hit this brick wall. My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous. On top of that, when I exercise at the gym, I get hit with these massive cramps either in my traps, hamstrings, or lower back. Cardio isn't a problem thank goodness. I'm reaching out for any advice at all. I have this vision in my head of getting SOME of my former glory back. I want to lift!!!! I don't know if it's a fools dream but I want to compete. I know that I have a long road ahead and I am putting the work in...will continue to put the work in, but right now I am so discouraged. I feel like my body is fighting me. Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing.
I HAVE to reverse this. I dropped 54 lbs. I've shrunk 27 inches. I've dropped 2 dress sizes!!!!!! I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING!!! I want this.
Any help at all would be so deeply appreciated
It doesn't matter if you only eat twice a day, once a day, or six times a day. All that matters is that you eat above 1200 calories and below your MFP calorie limit to lose weight. Here's a list of calorie-dense food in case you need help increasing your calories:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10142490/a-list-of-calorie-dense-foods
Starvation mode is a myth. If it was real, noone would ever die of famine.
You're doing amazingly! Yay you! Congrats on all the exercise, and the weight lost so far! You're awesome.
I can only suggest continuing what you're doing, and talking to your doctor about your cramps. You may need some blood tests to see if you're lacking in anything.
Good luck, you can do it!0 -
clearlydivinesounique wrote: »As a teenager, I was so active and fit. I danced, did karate, gymnastics, track, and basic lifting...and then I went to college and the weight started to pile on. I am now 34, 5'11' 344 lbs (down from 398 since November) and struggling. I broke my ankle 2 years ago so I have a difficult time with maintaining form with my deadlifts, and squats. I can leg press about 850, hack press about 350 and my trainer refuses to let me push and try deadlifting and squats fully because of my ankle. My core is very weak so we are working on strengthening that but I have hit this brick wall. My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous. On top of that, when I exercise at the gym, I get hit with these massive cramps either in my traps, hamstrings, or lower back. Cardio isn't a problem thank goodness. I'm reaching out for any advice at all. I have this vision in my head of getting SOME of my former glory back. I want to lift!!!! I don't know if it's a fools dream but I want to compete. I know that I have a long road ahead and I am putting the work in...will continue to put the work in, but right now I am so discouraged. I feel like my body is fighting me. Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing.
I HAVE to reverse this. I dropped 54 lbs. I've shrunk 27 inches. I've dropped 2 dress sizes!!!!!! I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING!!! I want this.
Any help at all would be so deeply appreciated
It doesn't matter if you only eat twice a day, once a day, or six times a day. All that matters is that you eat above 1200 calories and below your MFP calorie limit to lose weight. Here's a list of calorie-dense food in case you need help increasing your calories:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10142490/a-list-of-calorie-dense-foods
Starvation mode is a myth. If it was real, noone would ever die of famine.
You're doing amazingly! Yay you! Congrats on all the exercise, and the weight lost so far! You're awesome.
I can only suggest continuing what you're doing, and talking to your doctor about your cramps. You may need some blood tests to see if you're lacking in anything.
Good luck, you can do it!
Nailed it @orphia0 -
clearlydivines you are doing great! I think you should just focus on keeping within your calorie goal. I used to worry myself with starvation mode and all that but it kept me from just putting my head down and getting on with the plan which is keeping to your calorie deficit. If you have had this appetite problem for more than a couple weeks then consider seeing a doctor. Remember the weight didn't "pile on" as you put it by having a calorie deficit. It "piled on" from the opposite of a calorie deficit.0
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Re cramps...try a mineral drink like emergen-c ...just sip it as you go
Re water intake...are you dehydrated? Check your urine colour against the urine dehydration chart
Re food intake ...it doesn't matter when you are eating but you do need to eat sufficient calories and nutrients across the day / week...make sure you are hitting protein and fat minimums
The suggestion is generally 0.64g protein per lb bodyweight and 0.35g fat per lb bodyweight at a minimum ..at your current size that will be difficult based on your current intake
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Actually ...how long has the nausea over eating been going on
Eggs, oatmeal, coffee and a sandwich is not really sufficient
Can you plan out grazing ...you should be eating at least 1500 calories ...probably a whole lot more?
What's your current rate of loss...and how long has that been going on? (Eg average per week over 6-8 weeks)
Are you under direct medical supervision?0 -
clearlydivinesounique wrote: »As a teenager, I was so active and fit. I danced, did karate, gymnastics, track, and basic lifting...and then I went to college and the weight started to pile on. I am now 34, 5'11' 344 lbs (down from 398 since November) and struggling. I broke my ankle 2 years ago so I have a difficult time with maintaining form with my deadlifts, and squats. I can leg press about 850, hack press about 350 and my trainer refuses to let me push and try deadlifting and squats fully because of my ankle. My core is very weak so we are working on strengthening that but I have hit this brick wall. My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous. On top of that, when I exercise at the gym, I get hit with these massive cramps either in my traps, hamstrings, or lower back. Cardio isn't a problem thank goodness. I'm reaching out for any advice at all. I have this vision in my head of getting SOME of my former glory back. I want to lift!!!! I don't know if it's a fools dream but I want to compete. I know that I have a long road ahead and I am putting the work in...will continue to put the work in, but right now I am so discouraged. I feel like my body is fighting me. Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing.
I HAVE to reverse this. I dropped 54 lbs. I've shrunk 27 inches. I've dropped 2 dress sizes!!!!!! I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING!!! I want this.
Any help at all would be so deeply appreciated
Are you sure you are not mixing up your goals here? Focus on losing the weight, which seems you are doing a great job there, and on recovering. Do not focus on competing at the same time. You will be able to focus on performance, when you are closer to a healthy weight and once your body is healed. You cannot just resume from where you were as a teenager. Be patient.0 -
If you feel like your body is fighting you, it probably is. If you're cramping, your diet is likely not nutricious enough. Just to be on the safe side, I would see a doctor and get a blood test and take supplements. Hang in there - this sounds like a big bump on the road to future (not former) glory! Good luck :-)0
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Actually ...how long has the nausea over eating been going on
Eggs, oatmeal, coffee and a sandwich is not really sufficient
Can you plan out grazing ...you should be eating at least 1500 calories ...probably a whole lot more?
What's your current rate of loss...and how long has that been going on? (Eg average per week over 6-8 weeks)
Are you under direct medical supervision?
usually my days end up at around 1400-1500 calories. I was losing like 5-6 lbs a week at one point and that just stopped. I am being seen by a nutritionist.0 -
clearlydivinesounique wrote: »...My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous.... Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing...
It sounds like you think you're not eating enough and also not losing weight as fast as you think you should, which is somewhat contradictory.
How accurate is your food logging? Do you log every gram of food that you eat? Do you weigh your food?
Would you make your diary public?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings0 -
clearlydivinesounique wrote: »As a teenager, I was so active and fit. I danced, did karate, gymnastics, track, and basic lifting...and then I went to college and the weight started to pile on. I am now 34, 5'11' 344 lbs (down from 398 since November) and struggling. I broke my ankle 2 years ago so I have a difficult time with maintaining form with my deadlifts, and squats. I can leg press about 850, hack press about 350 and my trainer refuses to let me push and try deadlifting and squats fully because of my ankle. My core is very weak so we are working on strengthening that but I have hit this brick wall. My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous. On top of that, when I exercise at the gym, I get hit with these massive cramps either in my traps, hamstrings, or lower back. Cardio isn't a problem thank goodness. I'm reaching out for any advice at all. I have this vision in my head of getting SOME of my former glory back. I want to lift!!!! I don't know if it's a fools dream but I want to compete. I know that I have a long road ahead and I am putting the work in...will continue to put the work in, but right now I am so discouraged. I feel like my body is fighting me. Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing.
I HAVE to reverse this. I dropped 54 lbs. I've shrunk 27 inches. I've dropped 2 dress sizes!!!!!! I KNOW I CAN KEEP GOING!!! I want this.
Any help at all would be so deeply appreciated
Are you sure you are not mixing up your goals here? Focus on losing the weight, which seems you are doing a great job there, and on recovering. Do not focus on competing at the same time. You will be able to focus on performance, when you are closer to a healthy weight and once your body is healed. You cannot just resume from where you were as a teenager. Be patient.
This, so much this!
Look, when you broke your ankle, and probably when you were recovering, new compensations and imbalances were introduced to your body. You probably walked differently, had a different posture, and all that is habit now, probably at least somewhat out of whack. I think it's a mistake to load your body with too much weight until you address whatever those imbalances are - with a PT who knows about these things.
What about focusing on improving alignment and form under less load, for now?
*******
I know that after chronic tendinopathy in my left ankle, it left my left glute weak as a baby and eventually contributed to f*ing up my knees (both, but left is worse). I know I limped some for a while and after that changed my stride, for sure. Everything's connected, can't pretend it isn't, a problem in one place has an effect elsewhere somehow or other at some point, unless you deal with it.0 -
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The goals you have achieved so far are fantastic. You are an inspiration to the rest of us who are just starting on this journey and see what is possible with motivation and dedication. Keep up the good work!
Also, it sounds like you're not eating enough. I hear what you're saying about not being hungry. Try to eat small meals every 3 hours or so. That will help with the metabolism. The cramping might be from low potassium. Eat a banana (or at least a half of one) every day which will help.
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There are physical therapists and personal trainers who specialize in injury... Maybe you should look into that?0
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I'm confused. You're saying you can't eat more... so how is 'giving up' going to work anyway? You must have gained the weight somehow.
But if by giving up you mean stop exercising, with what you're eating you will probably still lose weight anyway.0 -
See the doctor about the tiredness and lack of appetite.0
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kshama2001 wrote: »clearlydivinesounique wrote: »...My diet is difficult to maintain. I have no appetite. I can have some eggs and oatmeal for breakfast with coffee around 8 am but then I have absolutely no appetite until dinner around 8 pm and for dinner I can have some basic protein and veggies, or a sandwich...something simple. I drink at minimum 80 oz of water which I know isn't enough but when I try to drink more it kills my appetite even more. When I try to force food, I get nauseous.... Why can't I eat?? I understand the whole "starvation mode" thing is keeping me from losing...
It sounds like you think you're not eating enough and also not losing weight as fast as you think you should, which is somewhat contradictory.
How accurate is your food logging? Do you log every gram of food that you eat? Do you weigh your food?
Would you make your diary public?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings
I've opened my diary to public. I tracked religiously this week starting sunday. Thank you everyone for your help and support. It means more than you know.0 -
I read your profile... you really need to see a good doctor. It's not ok to be tired and in pain all the time. If your current doctor isn't figuring it out, find another one. I understand (definitely) that it's hard to advocate for yourself when you already feel terrible, but you have to. No one else can do it for you. It sucks that that's how it is, but you've got to find it in you to fight for yourself if it comes to it.
As far as your diet, it looks like you've got a small deficit, maybe? And are eating 1800-2000 ish per day, which is ok for most, but is substantially under your target intake. I don't have experience of that situation and given how bad you say you feel, don't feel like I can give any useful comment, other than suggesting talking to a doctor (again).
One thing - I don't have knowledge about pre-diabetes, but I understand a lower carb approach is usually recommended. Many of your choices seem to be on the sweet side. Just noticing that, hopefully someone else will have more to say about this.
Back to your OP -clearlydivinesounique wrote: »I have this vision in my head of getting SOME of my former glory back. I want to lift!!!! I don't know if it's a fools dream but I want to compete. I know that I have a long road ahead and I am putting the work in...will continue to put the work in, but right now I am so discouraged. I feel like my body is fighting me.
It's hard to let go of the knowledge of how strong you felt in the past, and to accept where you are right now. It's hard to accept limitations; really hard to motivate yourself to do boring things like core work when what you want to do is lift the heaviest weight you can.
All I can say is, this is your body telling you things. You can't afford to not listen to it. You have to accept the reality of the limits you're experiencing.
Nothing in life is guaranteed, but you can do your absolute best to get your health looked at, your core and hams and back in order. It'll be slow, and probably frustrating for a while. But that will be you facing reality and taking charge of it.
So, when you're doing core work, or sitting in a waiting room or waiting for test results, think about how all of these actions are supporting your ultimate goal of strength and health.
(Also - switch your perspective and change your goals a little. Break them down from "I want to lift the heaviest thing in the gym right now" to the smaller steps that have to come before that.)0 -
You know how people look to others to give them motivation? You have given ME MOTIVATION!! That's an incredible amount of success, and it's only the the beginning of your journey! Stick with it, put in the effort, and the changes will continue! I have been on and off track of weight loss for so many years, and often wonder where I would be if I had just stuck to my progress and not the discouragement. You can do this, because you HAVE been doing this!:)0
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