Martial Arts: Sparring with opposite sex

My instructor is a man, and not only does he not treat me with kid gloves, he pushes me further than I think I can go. He's strong, and it shows, but he knows how much power to use to make me work for it, but not overwhelm me. A lot of the guys in class have solid hits, and they don't treat me like a women, but a sparing partner. Only half the women actually put power behind their hits, which is frustrating when you're their to learn to not just hit, but block.

So sparing with guys tends to be better all around where I train.

As my Sensei often tells me, "There is no gender in karate." I'm one of only a few females. I'm often the only higher-ranking female. I spar men. No big deal. I don't even think about it. If you're thinking about the gender of your opponent and adjusting your style to fit a perceived stereotype, your mind is in the wrong place.

When I was doing martial arts, there were very few girls/women, so I got used to sparring with the boys/men. I can take a hit with the best of them; during black belt tests, I would often volunteer to spar the candidates because I knew I wouldn't get hurt. I also grew up with most of the boys/men in the classes, so by the time puberty hit, I had always been "one of the guys." More like a sister than a female opponent!

I'll never forget at one test, I opted for not a chest protector because I hate them and one woman looked at me and said, "Oh. You're one of those." I wanted to be like: One of what? A woman who enjoys her sport? Come on now.

My only martial arts experience going against somebody was aikido, which is all about flowing movement and timing, not strength, so we had guys and gals matched up all the time. The only concern then was height difference could make a big impact.

I was the second most senior student and most senior female student in our dojo. At 5-4" and 115lbs I had to spar against male students who were one foot taller and 100lbs heavier than me. We had a female sensei and she made it perfectly clear tbat there was no room for egos in the dojo. She trained me to spar in a style appropriate for my size and build and I could hold my own with the guys and had to hold back with more junior students. The only person I ever had a problem with was another female student who had a chip on her shoulder and wanted to prove that she was as tough as the guys. During one training session working on sets of blocks and strikes she hit me so hard in the "chest" that I was bleeding under the muscle and ended up with scar tissue there. I prefered to spar with the guys as they generally had more self control and more awareness of their own strength. Worrying about hitting a woman in karate because she is a woman is not treating her as an equal.

edited to add that when I achieved black belt, with the ratio of men to women at black belt level, we had to spar with the opposite sex. Training with someone at a higher level whatever their sex is the only way to advance.

It depends on the art to be honest. If its more of a striking one then awesome. If its a more grapple based art... well it can lead to some awkward situations, especially if you miss a grab annnnnnd your hand lands on a awkward chest area.

if they are up for it, then I say gender doesn't matter.

My first sensei (Shorin Ryu) was a petite 5' 2" blond woman who loved empowering the smaller stature students by using me as a sparring partner and "volunteer". I never had an issue with this in most styles, especially external styles, but judo and hapkido I was much easier on women in the throws, simply due to physiology.

I am involved in fencing and there is enough protective gear that it doesn't matter whether you spar with a male or female. Chest protectors have come a long way, and most women choose the one piece plasticized version as opposed to the two metal Madonna metal cones they used back in the day. I don't think I have ever seen a guy "holding back" during a bout because he was fencing a woman.