Just need to vent....

LittleD311
LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
Ok, so , I started my weightloss journey October 4, 2010, since I had lost my job, and could tell I was ganing weight. I was about 152lbs when I joined the gym...Was going religiously for like 5 months, wasn't noticing a change in anything, so thats when I decided to buy P90X, I kept with it for 90 days, and was still going to the gym when I could, and after my 90 days which was May 9, 2011, I had lost a total of 8 lbs, and 14.5 inches thorughout my body. Well, during the whole time of me doing P90X, i was also going to the gym with my friend, and she wasn't being really supportive of me doing both, like, to me, she was annoyed that I was working out more than she was.....so, then all of a sudden , I told her I was going to get insanity, and she again blew me off, well, all of a sudden , she had it, and is doing it....well, i went to the gym with her the other day, and told her that I was so stoked that my size 4 jeans fit again! and she was like " there is NO WAY your in a size 4" like really? are you saying that out of jealously, or are you really that mean?

do any of you have people like this around you in your life!?
«1

Replies

  • MarkNH
    MarkNH Posts: 65 Member
    It seems as if I am constantly surrounded by people just like your friend.

    *In fact a co-worker this morning decided to let me know what she thought of my weight-loss.


    I have found the support here to be amazing and if you need (or would like) some additional support, please feel free to send me a friend request.


    Mark
  • LeanneBlais
    LeanneBlais Posts: 5 Member
    Sounds like jealousy to me....don't bother going to the gym with her!!!! :( Some people just suck! Good Job!!! :)
  • rfcollins33
    rfcollins33 Posts: 630
    wow. I guess it really all comes down to envy. I tell my friend when I'm jealous. But, I also add that I am very proud of her and tell her how wonderful she is and has done. I certainly would't just hurl insults. I'm sorry you are going through that. But if the size 4's fit, they fit honey!!!! Congrats and know WE are all proud of you :D

    edited to say- I jokingly tell her when I'm jealous. Not to be rude. I try to have as little envy/jealousy in my life/thoughts as possible.
  • sarahlauren2010
    sarahlauren2010 Posts: 20
    That's horrible! I would stop being around someone who puts me down for doing all that hard work, and looking fabulous! She is only jealous of how great you look.
  • jennywrens
    jennywrens Posts: 208
    I hate that! Of all people, friends should be the most supportive.

    My best friend is on MFP and is doing amazingly .... I can't imagine being mean to her about it, or her to me!!

    I'm sorry you're not getting the support and praise you need and deserve!
  • blackfitnessbarbie
    blackfitnessbarbie Posts: 30 Member
    when i started to work out in November of 2009 i was running/working out 5x a day. 5am, 830am, 1030am, 1130am & 3pm. I would run during lunch at 1130 during the school day, everyday. My friends saw that i was losing weight and one of them was like "you're working out too much, you don't even hang out with us at lunch anymore." (which was not true, maybe i didn't hang out with them at lunch, but i did for the rest of the day.) and that made me angry. i was thinking to myself "seriously, let me get skinny/fit first then i will hang out with you all that you want. you don't even understand." and now to this day, that one girl doesn't even compliment me on my 66lbs lost, it's like i'm still fat to her. ugghhh.

    i feel you girl. i feel you.
  • Ashalahn_LMT
    Ashalahn_LMT Posts: 342 Member
    I have several friends who started P90X long before me. They managed to talk me into it. Then they all quit for some reason or another. I ask them if they're coming back and all I hear are excuses. It's frustrating, but I am almost to the end of my first 90 days. And I can't wait to start again. I just shrug off the negative comments. Or log on here to read success stories and post advice and encouragement of my own.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    She is definately just jealous. Don't worry about her, you know you can fit into those size 4 jeans. That should make you feel great. If I were you, I would stop going to the gym with her, her negative attitude will only discourage you. Keep up the great work!
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
    People say stupid things all of the time. Some intentional, some not. "That" I personally think was mean and ould have handed out an elbow to the teeth. (sorry lol)

    I have definately had negative people cross my path, and I have just learned to not wear my emotions on my sleeve.....

    Congrats on your loss! Sounds like you worked really hard and you deserve to be happy about it! :o)

    Oh- and October 4th is my birthday!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
    You are ALL the reason , why I love this site so much! Everyone is always so supportive, nice, helpful, and motivating..... =)

    I haven't gone to the gym with her in months, and then I went on Friday, but hardly spoke to her!
  • nicolerah
    nicolerah Posts: 440 Member
    I dont want to sound judgmental or anything.. but a "friend" would never be upset if you lost weight faster than she does! Actually, a "friend" would be happy for you and realise that everybody's different. Unfortunately a lot of people we consider our friends are not as real as they should be! Maybe you should consider talking to her about her remark and let her know that it made you uncomfortable and probably ask her how she feels about your weight loss so far! If she reacts defensively then you probably might want to look for a new friend! Sorry, but I'm kinda harsh like that!

    BTW.. Good job on your loss!
  • LuluGirl140
    LuluGirl140 Posts: 364 Member
    I am in the same boat. Not cool at all. Why do they have to be like that??? Know you're doing something good for yourself, and even though we can't join you for your workout we are with you in spirit!
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    Its sad that there are people like that, but I would say surround yourself with positive people and she doesnt seem like she fits that mold.
  • bunnyb11
    bunnyb11 Posts: 65 Member
    AMEN!!!! you need to keep your head up an keep working toward your ultimate goal. Yes i agree it sounds like jealously to me. IF that person were a TRUE FRIEND they would be supporting you instead of tryin to bring you down. I have encountered people like that an try to distance myself from them. I had to ask for GOD help though and he has brought me along ways with this weight loss journey. I still have bout 100 more pounds to go before i get to where i wanna be. Good Luck to you on your Journey!!!!!!!
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    In life I have always noticed the small percentage of people who take pleasure in others pain. If you are thinner, wealthier, more liked, have a better family life, etc., etc.; There will always be a few who secretly cheer for any bumps you hit in the road. Not sure if this is your friend or not; but I have known these people that I described.
  • Mios3
    Mios3 Posts: 530 Member
    Sounds to me like you have worked our butt off to get your results. I say congrats on your size 4's and WAY TO GO!
  • swiggy1000
    swiggy1000 Posts: 6
    yes,...yes I do!....I had a friend who is very petite and works out a lot - she did that P90X or whatever it is....I was just trying to do a lot of walking and working with weights at home since I don't usually work out a whole bunch....I showed her an article with some helpful hints I was reading that I was very excited about and there happened to be a picture with it of a very well built woman (who obviously worked out a great deal).....and her first words to me were..."You don't really think you are gonna look like that by following these tips do you?".....I really could have just used some encouragement, but it seemed like she would rather put me down. Maybe she makes herself feel better that way, I don't 'know....I don't ask her opinion or advice anymore! :laugh:
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
    Ok, so , I started my weightloss journey October 4, 2010, since I had lost my job, and could tell I was ganing weight. I was about 152lbs when I joined the gym...Was going religiously for like 5 months, wasn't noticing a change in anything, so thats when I decided to buy P90X, I kept with it for 90 days, and was still going to the gym when I could, and after my 90 days which was May 9, 2011, I had lost a total of 8 lbs, and 14.5 inches thorughout my body. Well, during the whole time of me doing P90X, i was also going to the gym with my friend, and she wasn't being really supportive of me doing both, like, to me, she was annoyed that I was working out more than she was.....so, then all of a sudden , I told her I was going to get insanity, and she again blew me off, well, all of a sudden , she had it, and is doing it....well, i went to the gym with her the other day, and told her that I was so stoked that my size 4 jeans fit again! and she was like " there is NO WAY your in a size 4" like really? are you saying that out of jealously, or are you really that mean?

    do any of you have people like this around you in your life!?

    I recently lost a friend because of it. Its so bizarre how jealous people can be sometimes. Honestly, have a serious and sincere talk with your friend. If nothing changes it is time to move on.

    p.s., a size four is awesome and I bet you look smoking hot, way to go!
  • beatlegirl2011
    beatlegirl2011 Posts: 20 Member
    ahhh the sweet sweet sound of jealousy. Take this for what it is honey, you look so good and worked so hard that someone is JEALOUS of your body. How wonderful is that!?!?! I think you should keep going to the gym with her, a little friendly (on your part) competition to keep you motivated :)
  • luvslibby
    luvslibby Posts: 24
    Sorry your friend is not being supportive. It seems like women especially are not as good to each other as we should be. There is definitely jealousy there. I had a friend that started treating me differently (this was some time ago) when we were both trying to lose weight. I lost a lot of weight, and the friendship was never the same. Maybe she'll come around soon ;)
  • Butterflynma
    Butterflynma Posts: 22 Member
    Dara you're doing a great job. Keep up the good work!!! It's times like this we realize just how small our support system can really be. Keep pushing on and please don't let anyone throw a monkey wrench in your program.
  • Angela_MA
    Angela_MA Posts: 260
    Perhaps you need to overhaul your friendship like you did with your workout routine? Surrounding ourselves with positve people will only help in acheiving our goals!
    However, before you drop kick her, perhaps tell her that it upset you that she would say things like that. Let her know that what you need is support and not negativity. If she is not down with supporting you, then drop kick her! :wink:
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
    Im just going to let you know that I am 5'3" I weight about 140-142 and I am in a size four jeans.

    Weight has NOTHING to do with the size of your body, well not nothing, but what I mean is that 120 pounds isn't a size four, or 110 pounds insn't a size 2....

    someone can weigh more and be in a size 4 pant as someone who weighs substantially less and be in a size 4 pant too.

    I say rock on. Let her hater like attitude fuel your fire!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
    I agree with each and everyone of you! She is a bit older than me, and maybe that adds more fuel to her fire, but good grief, i'm not in any competition with her!

    I just don't understand why people have to act certain ways, or say things, but whatever! I have been doing this for me! =D
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    Some people are just toxic.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Non-supportive comments are just her way of saying she's intimidated by your committment, and feeling guilty about her own lack of commitment. Basically, her nasty comments are (saying) more about her than they are you. She reveals her insecurities in her comments. Don't let it get to you, and try to not be angry at her , she's feeling left behind and resentful that she isn't 'keeping up' with you. Next time she makes a comment, look her in the eye and say , "You know, I am so glad you are supporting me, I couldn't do this without your kind words."
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Shes just hatin! But not to fear my deear I will support you ;)
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
    In life I have always noticed the small percentage of people who take pleasure in others pain. If you are thinner, wealthier, more liked, have a better family life, etc., etc.; There will always be a few who secretly cheer for any bumps you hit in the road. Not sure if this is your friend or not; but I have known these people that I described.

    you hit that right on the head!

    B I N G O!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
    Non-supportive comments are just her way of saying she's intimidated by your committment, and feeling guilty about her own lack of commitment. Basically, her nasty comments are (saying) more about her than they are you. She reveals her insecurities in her comments. Don't let it get to you, and try to not be angry at her , she's feeling left behind and resentful that she isn't 'keeping up' with you. Next time she makes a comment, look her in the eye and say , "You know, I am so glad you are supporting me, I couldn't do this without your kind words."

    soooo true!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
    Shes just hatin! But not to fear my deear I will support you ;)

    ha ha ha! RIGHT!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories