The (Person) Scale Argument
Replies
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I weigh myself once a week on the same scale right after I wake up and use the bathroom and before I eat or drink anything. It is enough information for me. I store the scale behind a cabinet in my dining room. I'm not hiding it but it doesn't need to be on display either.
You can certainly measure progress with a monthly weigh in.
You can use a measuring tape and take body measurements.
You can take a progress photo.
You can have a test piece of clothing that you notice if it starts to fit looser.
I lived with my parents when I was 21. I would not have consulted them about buying a scale to weigh myself. I would have put it in my room and they would not have gone in there.
Maybe a friend or neighbor of yours has a scale you could use if you want to weigh more often.0 -
I'm British (which I'm assuming the OP is), this is not cultural. Granted my being thrust into living on my own at 15 is unusual but most people with a more "normal" upbringing never had these restrictions on them at 16, let alone 21. There's being respectful then there's being suffocated and overprotected.
But if the OP is happy with the situation then it's not really our business. If you want to push for a scale do, it does sound like your mum is the one with issues and she's projecting majorly onto you. I have seen scales in malls here but in some time, I can't actually think of seeing one for public use anywhere in some time though.0 -
*sigh* I'm sorry, I find it odd that no one thinks a 21 year old living at home would need permission from parents to do things without some sort of conspiracy. The fact is I live in their house so I need to work with them rather than just doing whatever I want. When I go out, they need to know where I am and who I'm with, when I'll be home, and what I'm doing. If I'm making a life change, I need to run the pieces by them. Is this not normal? Are you not considerate with the people you live with? I've gotten this IRL too sometimes and it's just not something I understand. I'm giving my parents respect because I live with them.
As the mother of an eighteen-year-old boy, I can say most definitely not everyone is so considerate
You sound like a lovely person.
Scales are reasonably small, and I think if you want one, you should tell your parents (or maybe only your father) you have decided you feel it will benefit you from a motivational standpoint, and go ahead and get one. Since it is a tool for better health, it's not the same as keeping a stash of cookies or drugs in their house. I would think you should be allowed to purchase a scale just as you should be permitted to purchase a blender, a phone, a razor, or any other common household/personal appliance you wish.
I bought a cheap digital one what must be a century ago and it still works perfectly - haven't even had to change the battery. You will want to get one that works on the flooring in your room - so if you have carpet it needs to have feet that are raised quite high. You can put it in an inconspicuous spot if it bothers your mother, or perhaps it is best she not even know about it if it could derail her.
I prefer to weigh daily, but I'm a data geek, so fluctuations don't bother me (usually). I think a scale is most useful when used in the same location, at the same time of day, in the same way: after you wake up, clothed vs naked, etc. I log daily with a free app called "My weight tracker" and am in a couple of groups on here where we weigh in weekly (one is on Friday and one is on Monday; my Monday weight is always higher than my Friday weight, but it is consistently so). I generally only log my weight once per week using MFP's check-in feature. The app shows me the general trend and also gives me a history of each month's total loss, which I like. Good luck with your decision!0 -
OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
I wish I had changed the wording of my questions now, because so much of this thread is questioning the situation without actually discussing the pros/cons of owning a scale *facepalm* 0 -
Also, I thought on this some more. Could you buy a measuring tape? You could get an idea of your weight at the gym, but inches lost will also give you something to work with. (And maybe it wouldn't be a trigger for your mom)
If you did buy one, I don't think you need to specifically hide the purchase from them, but maybe let your mom know you are trying to get healthy and for you that involves keeping track of your weight, but that you are willing to keep the scale in your own space so as not to tempt her to use it.0 -
Do you pay for the gym membership, or is it more of a community/ free thing? As a paying member, I'd be irritated if they didn't have a decent scale. Maybe you put in a suggestion for a new scale in the locker room.
It's a paying gym, but it's also partially a charity because it has facilities and programs for physically and mentally handicapped people. Some of the equipment is donated, and they work to employ people with down syndrome, etc. The scale is by the water fountain off the running track. None in the locker rooms. I don't really feel like I can request it, but it is possible they will replace it eventually. 0 -
supersocks117 wrote: »Also, I thought on this some more. Could you buy a measuring tape? You could get an idea of your weight at the gym, but inches lost will also give you something to work with. (And maybe it wouldn't be a trigger for your mom)
If you did buy one, I don't think you need to specifically hide the purchase from them, but maybe let your mom know you are trying to get healthy and for you that involves keeping track of your weight, but that you are willing to keep the scale in your own space so as not to tempt her to use it.
This is a great point. I also use a measuring tape, and some months the inches drop while the pounds don't. Some months the scale moves and the inches stay the same. Both are great tools.0 -
slinke2014 wrote: »
I don't work because I'm in school and my resume and availability are terrible. I'm working on keeping a 4.0 gpa (90% average) which takes a lot of time for me. I do not have an eating disorder, unless you count obesity as an eating disorder which could be fair.
fair enough....it must be a cultural thing then. Because I don't understand the situation at all. If you want a scale just go buy one.0 -
RunRachelleRun wrote: »*sigh* I'm sorry, I find it odd that no one thinks a 21 year old living at home would need permission from parents to do things without some sort of conspiracy. The fact is I live in their house so I need to work with them rather than just doing whatever I want. When I go out, they need to know where I am and who I'm with, when I'll be home, and what I'm doing. If I'm making a life change, I need to run the pieces by them. Is this not normal? Are you not considerate with the people you live with? I've gotten this IRL too sometimes and it's just not something I understand. I'm giving my parents respect because I live with them.
As the mother of an eighteen-year-old boy, I can say most definitely not everyone is so considerate You sound like a lovely person.
Scales are reasonably small, and I think if you want one, you should tell your parents (or maybe only your father) you have decided you feel it will benefit you from a motivational standpoint, and go ahead and get one. Since it is a tool for better health, it's not the same as keeping a stash of cookies or drugs in their house. I would think you should be allowed to purchase a scale just as you should be permitted to purchase a blender, a phone, a razor, or any other common household/personal appliance you wish.
I bought a cheap digital one what must be a century ago and it still works perfectly - haven't even had to change the battery. You will want to get one that works on the flooring in your room - so if you have carpet it needs to have feet that are raised quite high. You can put it in an inconspicuous spot if it bothers your mother, or perhaps it is best she not even know about it if it could derail her.
I prefer to weigh daily, but I'm a data geek, so fluctuations don't bother me (usually). I think a scale is most useful when used in the same location, at the same time of day, in the same way: after you wake up, clothed vs naked, etc. I log daily with a free app called "My weight tracker" and am in a couple of groups on here where we weigh in weekly (one is on Friday and one is on Monday; my Monday weight is always higher than my Friday weight, but it is consistently so). I generally only log my weight once per week using MFP's check-in feature. The app shows me the general trend and also gives me a history of each month's total loss, which I like. Good luck with your decision!
Thanks! I like data too, though I'm thinking now that I'm going to wait until after the food scale has been implemented and just becomes part of the household to press for it again. If I can find one that will work well on carpet, then I'll do that for sure! Then I could just keep it in my room, which would be great. 0 -
RunRachelleRun wrote: »supersocks117 wrote: »Also, I thought on this some more. Could you buy a measuring tape? You could get an idea of your weight at the gym, but inches lost will also give you something to work with. (And maybe it wouldn't be a trigger for your mom)
If you did buy one, I don't think you need to specifically hide the purchase from them, but maybe let your mom know you are trying to get healthy and for you that involves keeping track of your weight, but that you are willing to keep the scale in your own space so as not to tempt her to use it.
This is a great point. I also use a measuring tape, and some months the inches drop while the pounds don't. Some months the scale moves and the inches stay the same. Both are great tools.
Okay, that sounds good. I think I will track that first, then broach the topic of a scale later if I still feel like I need one.
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I weigh as frequently as I like, but only "record" my weight once a month, after my period is over, in the morning, before food, after using the bathroom, naked.0
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Okay, that sounds good. I think I will track that first, then broach the topic of a scale later if I still feel like I need one.
Sounds like a good decision for you. And I'd also suggest you use the scale at your gym regularly if you want to weigh more often. As long as you are using the same scale week to week (or day to day) at a similar time of day you should get a good gauge of the direction things are going. Always weigh before you work out though, as how much you sweat/drink during the workout will affect the number.0 -
OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
I wish I had changed the wording of my questions now, because so much of this thread is questioning the situation without actually discussing the pros/cons of owning a scale *facepalm*
Kudos to you. I don't want to derail the thread so will let it go. But for the record, we are definitely not atheist/secular people.
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OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
I wish I had changed the wording of my questions now, because so much of this thread is questioning the situation without actually discussing the pros/cons of owning a scale *facepalm*
Kudos to you. I don't want to derail the thread so will let it go. But for the record, we are definitely not atheist/secular people.
Huh? I assume you are talking about yourself?0 -
*sigh* I'm sorry, I find it odd that no one thinks a 21 year old living at home would need permission from parents to do things without some sort of conspiracy. The fact is I live in their house so I need to work with them rather than just doing whatever I want. When I go out, they need to know where I am and who I'm with, when I'll be home, and what I'm doing. If I'm making a life change, I need to run the pieces by them. Is this not normal? Are you not considerate with the people you live with? I've gotten this IRL too sometimes and it's just not something I understand. I'm giving my parents respect because I live with them.
I totally respect that. When I was 21 I told my parents where I was going and was always home by midnight. But, that didn't stop me from buying things and putting them in my room when I wanted to (within reason, and a scale qualifies as reasonable to me). If your mom has a diet problem that is made worse by a scale being in the house I can totally respect that. If the family just thinks a scale isn't useful, then I have to disagree. You shouldn't have to run that by your parents.
As for the scales in pharmacies/grocery stores, that probably is an US thing if you can't find any nearby. Around me they are everywhere.
Awesome job on the 4.0. I managed to keep a 4.0 for over 2 years until I took a Engineering Business Management class... I do better at the hard sciences 0 -
Do you pay for the gym membership, or is it more of a community/ free thing? As a paying member, I'd be irritated if they didn't have a decent scale. Maybe you put in a suggestion for a new scale in the locker room.
It's a paying gym, but it's also partially a charity because it has facilities and programs for physically and mentally handicapped people. Some of the equipment is donated, and they work to employ people with down syndrome, etc. The scale is by the water fountain off the running track. None in the locker rooms. I don't really feel like I can request it, but it is possible they will replace it eventually.
Personally I think the scale is a very good way to keep accountable and also, I love graphs and data. Weighing daily has taught me a lot about how much my body fluctuates through TOM, salt intake, hydration and new strength training. Once a month would still give you a trend picture but I feel that knowing what I have learned will help me a lot when I hit my goal and switch to maintain.
Perhaps a solution would be to buy a 20-30$ digital scale and donate it to your gym. I am sure others would also appreciate a more accurate reading and then it is not an issue of it being in the house.0 -
OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
My parents would have expected me to let them know if I was going out, comply with house rules re not staying out all night/let them know generally when I'd be back, and not doing something they would disapprove of (like taking drugs, getting drunk, sleeping with a guy I was not married to) in the house when I was living with them, which I did summers during college, so after being an adult. They wouldn't have expected me to tell them about something I bought for myself, such as a scale. But a scale wouldn't have been a sensitive topic in my house anyway. (And this was 25 years ago, heh.)
Anyway, just interesting and I do expect cultural in some way.
On the topic, I do think scales can be motivating if you are someone who can avoid getting upset by the fluctuations. But if it's not possible there are other options--the tape measure is a good one, although it will be less immediate feedback. One thing I did this time was buy jeans in a brand I know one and two sizes down and use those as a benchmark. It's a waste of money--definitely choose an inexpensive brand if doing something like this--as you won't be in them long, and as brands vary you'd want to stick to the same one, but it worked great for me and served as a nice reward to myself for losing the weight too.0 -
You're 21.
Buy a farking scale fercripessake.0 -
slinke2014 wrote: »
OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
I wish I had changed the wording of my questions now, because so much of this thread is questioning the situation without actually discussing the pros/cons of owning a scale *facepalm*
Kudos to you. I don't want to derail the thread so will let it go. But for the record, we are definitely not atheist/secular people.
Huh? I assume you are talking about yourself?
Yes. The antecedent for "we" was Mrs Jruzer and myself, along with the Jruzerlets. I thought that was clear from my previous post. I wouldn't presume to speak for any others.
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Buying a scale is not a "life change."
It's $25 at the corner store.
You are putting WAY too much thought into this.0 -
For me, daily weighing keeps me from obsessing. It's a number that goes up and down, but in time will (and always has gone) the direction I make it go by my dietary choices.
I wonder if your mother's past with yo-yo dieting gave her an unhealthy relationship with a scale and either she's afraid you'll have the same experience or afraid that if there's a scale in the house, she'll start obsessing/being unhealthy again. If it's the former, I think a scale in the provacy of your bedroom would be okay. If it's the latter, then I think it would be considerate to keep on using the scales outside the home, however infrquently. The only way to find out if one of these serious reasons is the cause of your parents' trepidation would be to talk to them openly.
You can still make great gains without daily weighing. I'd say the weighing of your food is more important than the weighing of your person so long as you update your weight on MFP each time you weigh in with your dietician so you can adjust your calorie goal accordingly.0 -
slinke2014 wrote: »
OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
I wish I had changed the wording of my questions now, because so much of this thread is questioning the situation without actually discussing the pros/cons of owning a scale *facepalm*
Kudos to you. I don't want to derail the thread so will let it go. But for the record, we are definitely not atheist/secular people.
Huh? I assume you are talking about yourself?
Yes. The antecedent for "we" was Mrs Jruzer and myself, along with the Jruzerlets. I thought that was clear from my previous post. I wouldn't presume to speak for any others.
You can speak for me
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DeguelloTex wrote: »Also, your avatar makes me think of a bolt of mageweave cloth every time I see it.
Nice! Kicked that addiction (and job) years ago, now my son is asking about it.0 -
slinke2014 wrote: »
OP, since you brought it up:
The relationship you have with your family is your own business, of course. And if your mom has a history with this sort of thing this is more understandable.
But as the father of two teenagers this does sound a bit unusual and restrictive to me. I can see discussing major changes in life with them, and being considerate is commendable, but asking for *permission* strikes me as odd. It's not like you're hosting a keg party. Maybe this is just cultural.
I was honestly surprised at how many people felt like it was strange, so I wanted to address that. It may be cultural, I have found it's mostly atheist/secular people who don't understand. I do have friends who can go out at all hours and say "hey mom I'm going out don't wait up" but that's not who my parents are. *shrugs*
I wish I had changed the wording of my questions now, because so much of this thread is questioning the situation without actually discussing the pros/cons of owning a scale *facepalm*
Kudos to you. I don't want to derail the thread so will let it go. But for the record, we are definitely not atheist/secular people.
Huh? I assume you are talking about yourself?
Yes. The antecedent for "we" was Mrs Jruzer and myself, along with the Jruzerlets. I thought that was clear from my previous post. I wouldn't presume to speak for any others.
I just couldn't tell why you were clarifying that point. That's all.
Edited to add
Nevermind. I see it now. dork alert here0 -
There are ways to measure your progress without a scale. For fat loss progress, a scale can even be unhelpful at times when water weight masks the actual fat loss you have experienced. I would suggest taking pictures, measurements of at least your chest, waist, and hips every few weeks. Once a month weighing is fine as long as you stick with measuring your food and meeting your calorie goal.0
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This is weird....is "scale" code for "gun"? I mean...I guess bringing a gun into the home would warrant a family discussion....I just don't get it.
If you want to know how much you weigh, buy a scale. If you don't want to smuggle illegal contraband into your home, take measurements. If measuring tape is also a weird thing for your family, then just count your calories and hope for the best.
If your family is already going to the gym, seeing a dietician AND just purchased a food scale, I seriously do not understand this.0 -
OP, I go strictly by inches, no scale unless I'm very, very curious.
To add to everything else everyone is saying...I lived with my parents until I was 23 and I can see why you want to be respectful! I didn't have to tell my parents where I was going or when I was going to be home, but I told them out of respect. Didn't want them to have a heart attack if I came stumbling in at 2am, stayed over at a boyfriend's house without telling them and thought I was in a ditch somewhere. Good for you to be respectful since you are living under their roof. I honestly wish my family was that close and made decisions together. Usually, no one knows you better than your parents. Whether or not you're adult, most parents know who their kids are and can help them make the right choices. 0 -
mz_getskinny wrote: »This is weird....is "scale" code for "gun"? I mean...I guess bringing a gun into the home would warrant a family discussion....I just don't get it.
If you want to know how much you weigh, buy a scale. If you don't want to smuggle illegal contraband into your home, take measurements. If measuring tape is also a weird thing for your family, then just count your calories and hope for the best.
If your family is already going to the gym, seeing a dietician AND just purchased a food scale, I seriously do not understand this.
And now I have the vision of meeting some unsavory individual in a back alley:
"Rico told me you sold scales, man. How much? He told me I can get a digital from you. No, man, I ain't no food police!"
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@glassyo Love it. 0
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This is one of the weirder threads I have ever read.0
This discussion has been closed.
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