Counting calories around family
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Tell them that you will eat them. IDK, I think that would shut them up for a second while you run away, hahahaahaha0
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typically, i
1. get whatever i want to eat (veg or lean protein or whatever)
2. focus on conversation and usually no one notices or cares
3. if they do, i say with a smile, 'oh, no thanks. i'm good' and ask them a question about themselves to change the subject.
4. repeat 3 as much as needed0 -
In your situation, I think the easiest way out of it is to lie - tell them you had a monster burger a couple of hours before arriving and there is physically no room in your gullet for more stuff. Lie and lie and lie.0
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Key with it though is to do it smiling and say things like "I really would love to but I honestly can't! I know! I'm disappointed, too. You go ahead and enjoy it, it looks amazing! Bon appetit!" (that is over the top and to be reserved for the 4th/5th invitation to chow down but you get the point.)
It helps if you don't in any way suggest criticism of how they're eating. Also change the topic as fast as you can. I think you'll still have to have a few bites here and there.0 -
tincanonastring wrote: »I look at them like they're crazy for not counting their calories, whip out my food scale, and weigh my **** right there in the buffet line. My dad tried that the other day, so I weighed my food, then his food, and showed him how he was eating 1200 calories more than me. Then I asked him how he felt about that and walked away before he had a chance to answer.
Alternatively, tell them that rice and meat give you the runs. That'll shut 'em up.
Or, tell them your fork will have a little extra on it once you shove it up there *** for not minding their own business.
All jokes aside, you should never feel embarassed for taking control of your health.
Yep, this right here.
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How do you eat healthier and less when you're at some kind of family function and there is food? My family is the type that will press you to eat and then get all over you when you have only vegetables on your plate. I really don't want to have people focusing on me and asking me why I'm only eating xyz and and getting on my case about trying to lose weight. I don't want them knowing I'm trying to lose weight and I don't want to be the center of attention and have people all over me for what I'm eating and/or not eating. I'm not overweight but I am at the higher end of the "healthy" weight range and I'm just trying to lose like ten pounds. I have a family function coming up soon and I just want to get through it without having to tell anyone im dieting. My family is the type that a lot of them are overweight and will press you to eat food.
Help please!
You control what goes in your body.
I would leave enough calories free for the meal so I wouldn't stress about it much.
I would take more than just vegetables so it looks like I have a balanced meal.
I would not take seconds.
I would eat slowly and drink water.
I would not tell people I am dieting or make remarks about the calorie, fat, nutritional content of the food.
Change the subject.
"Oh, thanks for offering but I'm happy with what I have. I love this corn."
"No thanks, that looks tasty but I am just not that hungry right now."
"No."
"You are being weirdly pushy about this. Is the food more important than my comfort or happiness? If it is then I am out of here."0 -
Do what you want, but in my opinion thinking that one indulgent meal means you don't care about your health or will materially impact your weight loss is itself unhealthful thinking. And if grandma made her special peach cobbler, it is unkind to refuse to eat it.0
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I must be super stubborn because I would be blunt. "My body, my rules". My family know I'm doing this for the long haul. Not one of them would dare comment on what and how much I eat or I would tell them to mind their own. Families should support and nurture not make you dread seeing them and have to lie.
Own your body. They cannot force you to eat anything and if they give you grief... Give them hell.0 -
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In your situation, I think the easiest way out of it is to lie - tell them you had a monster burger a couple of hours before arriving and there is physically no room in your gullet for more stuff. Lie and lie and lie.
Or yeah, say you've been fighting a stomach bug or something... but obviously you can't use that excuse every time.0 -
I have a large family so there's a good chance someone is dieting or acting weird around food at any get together. The trick in my family is to enjoy your food -- it doesn't matter what you're actually eating -- as long as you're happy and enjoying yourself no one will care.
But if you're standing around with an empty plate, wrinkling your nose up at what's available, or staring longingly at the food but saying you don't want any it's going to draw attention. Be happy and confident in your food choices.0 -
I bring a healthy dish to share (so, for appetizers I might bring a ceviche or lettuce wraps, or for a main dish I will bring a salad or vegetable side dish). That way I know there is something healthy there that I can eat. Then, I will put mostly healthy things on my plate and then a couple of portion-controlled less healthy items that I'd like. When you start, people may make comments, but if you stick with it after the first few times they'll probably make less comments.
Some of my go-to phrases at the beginning:
"I'm trying to be healthy."
In response to a 'but you don't need to watch what you eat' comment: "The reason for that is because I make healthy choices."
"I already said no."
"I'm not judging what you put on your plate, so please don't judge what I'm putting on mine."
"What I'm eating is my business. I happen to like eating this way."
etc.0 -
thatdarncass wrote: »I bring a healthy dish to share (so, for appetizers I might bring a ceviche or lettuce wraps, or for a main dish I will bring a salad or vegetable side dish). That way I know there is something healthy there that I can eat. Then, I will put mostly healthy things on my plate and then a couple of portion-controlled less healthy items that I'd like. When you start, people may make comments, but if you stick with it after the first few times they'll probably make less comments.
Some of my go-to phrases at the beginning:
"I'm trying to be healthy."
In response to a 'but you don't need to watch what you eat' comment: "The reason for that is because I make healthy choices."
"I already said no."
"I'm not judging what you put on your plate, so please don't judge what I'm putting on mine."
"What I'm eating is my business. I happen to like eating this way."
etc.
Ok but "I'm trying to be healthy/make healthy choices" is implicitly saying that their choices are unhealthy and wrong, and people don't like that.0 -
So much good advice. I can't add anything but it does remind me of a thanksgiving with my in-laws in south Texas. Their holiday traditions involve casseroles where cream of mushroom soup is a staple ingredient. Not a fresh vegetable in sight. All canned vegetable casseroles. Many, if not most, families in my area eat this way on holidays, but it's just not my cup of tea. Anyhoo, at one point I'm helping my MIL with the table and she asks her mom to toss the salad. "Salad!" I thought! Yay! Later when we're half way through the meal, I'm looking around for that salad and realize that "salad" referred to the marshmallow jello canned fruit concoction.
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There are people who LOVE to knock others down, especially if the other person is succeeding at something they can't do. Forget them. Let them stew in their misery. You do your thing and be happy.
You do realize, of course, that not all "food pushers" are doing it out of jealousy because they can't do what you're doing. Not everyone is trying to knock you down, or to be nasty. (And by "you" I mean a general "you", not you, personally).
Sometimes--and for me this is especially true with older relatives--people equate food with love. They prepared something JUST FOR YOU to show you that they love you. And of course to them you are PERFECT and don't need to lose any weight! It's hard to have a "screw you" or "eff off" attitude with someone like that, LOL. That's when subterfuge is necessary: "Oh, yes! I'll have another cannoli!" and then you put it back on the platter when no one is looking.
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I make no apologies and no compromises when I'm at family events. If I want to eat something a little more indulgent at a party, that's my choice. I certainly won't do it to please someone or keep the peace. If the whole mood of the gathering revolves around what I'm eating or not eating, that's a whole other set of problems for another kind of message board.
I also don't care if someone thinks it's rude that I won't eat what they made. I am polite about it and I remember my pleases and thank yous (as we always remind our kids). If you choose to be offended anyway, again, there are some other message boards I can refer you to.
This is my mission and I'm doing all the hard work. If I don't feel like it's necessary to "relax" by pigging out on cake, maybe it's because over the last few months I've gotten very good at redirecting my mind to not want to medicate with food.
Thankfully, a good deal of my family understands all this, but it's usually the non-healthy people that put on most of the pressure.0 -
Honestly, for those types of events, I just guess, and guess on the higher range. Try to figure out which are the lower calorie items, eat a few of those. Say you're not very hungry.
If it's a potluck, bring something healthy yourself so you know exactly what's in it.
Estimate on the higher end and then just go from there. One day is not the end of the world
For me, since I'm vegan, I can't eat most things at family events anyway. People don't care if I bring my own food and just snack on their fruit and veggie platters. lol0 -
There are people who LOVE to knock others down, especially if the other person is succeeding at something they can't do. Forget them. Let them stew in their misery. You do your thing and be happy.
I've had a lot of teasing, some actual nastiness and one person who says, "Well, it's easy for you."
If they tease, I tease back. If here actually being nasty, I leave them to their unhappiness.
Living well really IS the best revenge.
Why is the assumption that they are doing it purposely for revenge?0 -
There are people who LOVE to knock others down, especially if the other person is succeeding at something they can't do. Forget them. Let them stew in their misery. You do your thing and be happy.
I've had a lot of teasing, some actual nastiness and one person who says, "Well, it's easy for you."
If they tease, I tease back. If here actually being nasty, I leave them to their unhappiness.
Living well really IS the best revenge.
Why is the assumption that they are doing it purposely for revenge?
I don't think it's revenge per se--it's just that when people start seeing a difference, they are reminded that it's something they should probably do too. Then they realize how much work it would take. Then they decide it's easier to just bring you back to what you were before so they don't have to be reminded of this every time they see you.
I think this is why people are always pulling me aside and telling me what a great job I'm doing, and then proceeding to me why they can't do what I'm doing and listing all the excuses. If I won't bend to their pressure, then they feel they need to tell me why they can't lose weight.0 -
I think part of it is that people put effort into cooking and want to see that you like it.
I take small portions of everything and then go back for the low-calorie ones. If anyone notices or asks, I'll tell them I'm struggling with weight and health and have to pick only low-calorie items regardless of how good everything is. I can't risk "falling off the wagon". That way people feel I've had a chance to taste their cooking efforts and don't feel slighted if I pass on seconds--it's not a critique of their cooking skill to count calories.0
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