Dating after weight loss

FrenchCanuck wrote: »

Darton,
" I expect dating for a women is similar to the way a man dates, first is a physical attraction which is what any species is driven towards (reproduction)"

May I remind you that, in the Victorian age, women that were "chunky" were more in demand by men and were seen as more attractive than skinny girls? Every era has it's "fad". This era, it's about skinny women. That kind of attraction is not about reproduction, it's influenced by media; we see skinny women everywhere, movies, banners, ads, magazines, all photoshopped, models are obligated to be thin as twigs... women are pressured into being thin and being regarded shamefully for being normal or just a little overweight. Men have no pressure to be at a fake photoshopped high social standard. I hear the "dad bod" was a fad now... see, men are allowed to be fat, not women. Fat women are regarded as shameful. However, if you want to talk about reproduction, it's women that has a bigger pelvis that sollicits a sense of reproduction, like science stated, because it promotes childbearing.

Where do you live that women are "regarded shamefully for being normal or just a little overweight?" Because I just do not see that happening in the majority of situations. I can go to the store or a restaurant and see couples of varying shapes and sizes and I guarantee that the women are not all "skinny," which I'm taking to mean underweight.

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Ouch, there have been some rough experiences from some of you.
Of course not every guy is going to be into every big girl, but I have dated quite a bit when I was very heavy, and had no problem getting really attractive (and fit) men. The type I was often attracted to actually landed more on the chubby side of guys, which I found took LESS interest in me than the fit guys.

Has anyone seen that episode of Louie where the fat girl asked him out and he turns her down? She states that the really hot dudes actually flirt back with her, because they're comfortable with who they are. The fat guys feel they have something to prove, so they have to have the supermodel type chicks. Something along those lines.

Anyway, I also do believe part of it is how you carry yourself as well. I feel more confident and sexy after a good workout, so sometimes it gets that attention from men. But I actually get cat-called much less often... If a guy is interested, he talks to me like a human being, rather than yelling something obscene about my booty.

Being 64 and having a son and daughter about to turn 18 I know there can be jerks everywhere. A lot of guys are insecure and will only date girls that they think will impress their friends.

I can not image dating again and hope I have no reason to date again but I can tell you even today it is what is behind the eyes and between the ears that is most important to me in any friend. Like most guys beauty is nice but it is the brain, heart and attitude 24/7 that makes a relationship last.

Girls clearly are judged in a physical way initially by most guys. I can see how much rejection can hurt a young girl.

While it does not help the pain at the time please trust me you do not need or want the attention of crude guys. I had to deal with this personally and realize how it much rejection must hurt. The worse is the guy who will date a girl just so he can verbally abuse her. Fathers are very protective.

We as fathers can set up our daughters for failure. If we are abusive to our wives if only in an emotional way it sets the daughter up to think it is "normal" for guys to act that way so they will naturally get into and stay in bad relationships sometimes because they do not know anything different.

The father figure in a young girl's life can be a make or break factor and I see this over and over as an employer.

The past is the past but please if the past was bad we do not need to let it make the future bad. A guy that is a jerky most likely learned that behavior from the father figure in his life.

As a rule guys do NOT change so keep that in mind when dating or wanting to date someone.

While it meant I dated less than most guys I had a three date rule. If I could not see the girl that I was dating as the mother of my future daughter for any reason I did not go on the fourth date. I know some girls who would have been served well if they had used the three date rule. Folks wrong relationships seldom turn out right. Guys that will not date you are not guys you want as the father of future children if you are thinking of starting a family some day.

Remember there are guys out there that will prey on women with low self esteem because they are control freaks. These you must avoid at all cost because getting free of them can be very hard for many reasons.

In America its the preferred look to be on the thinner side and I honestly get a whole lot more attention when I am in very good shape but that doesn't mean that there is nobody out there that finds beauty in a bigger woman or man. I know that after I lost weight I had a couple of my guy friends tell me that they always thought I was gorgeous even at my biggest which to me was shocking because I felt that nobody in the world thought I was attractive at my biggest.