I sabotage my own self.......

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LessofPenny
LessofPenny Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have gone from 178 and 5 ft 1 to as low as 153 and my goal weight is 135. Now I am back up to 160. This is odd for even me to mention on this forum, but I have come this close to my goal weight 3 times since I started this mfp which was over 4 months ago. Each time that I get that close, I sabotage my own self with binge eating and skipping work outs and I get lazy with my measurements and logs. I feel like such a fake. I don't know why I act this way. I almost need to post a note on my refrigerator and cabinets that says "don't eat" so that MAYBE I will be conscious enough to stop myself from the "don't care" attitude when it gets late. That is when it is at it's worst. And once I mess up.....I REALLY mess up. It don't even matter that there is very little bought in my house that is "junk". If I get in this "state", I will over indulge in a so called healthy carb to the point that it is ridiculous. What helps you get through these times or do you have them?????

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  • strong_curves
    strong_curves Posts: 2,229 Member
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    Maybe you're being too restrictive with how much you're eating and doing too much exercise. Basically what I'm asking is are you going about your weight loss journey in a long term sustainable way or are you cutting too low and working out too much that you can't sustain it long term? Kwim?
  • SaffronSunrise
    SaffronSunrise Posts: 182 Member
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    Do you stop logging when you "binge"? I log everything, including the times I over eat. Taking that extra step makes me think a little more about what I do and if it's really worth it to me to waste my calories on "x". If it's good pizza, usually the answer is "yes".

    If you need notes around the house, then leave notes around the house. You have to stop beating yourself up whenever you slip up and get right back on that horse. One binge does not set you back all that much, a lot of them takes you right back to where you started. If I feel like I want to over-indulge, I try to plan eating less earlier in the day so I don't lose too much of my deficit. If I haven't planned and over-indulge, I get back on the plan the next meal. I hope this helps.
  • rainalove77
    rainalove77 Posts: 11 Member
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    I have them all the time. It's really frustrating! For me, a certain junk food will pop into my head and it seems like no matter how hard I try not to eat or how long I wait, the craving will not go away until I give in. And once I do, I binge for days. I have to find a way to get past it.
  • LessofPenny
    LessofPenny Posts: 53 Member
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    SaffronSunrise wrote: »
    Do you stop logging when you "binge"? I log everything, including the times I over eat. Taking that extra step makes me think a little more about what I do and if it's really worth it to me to waste my calories on "x". If it's good pizza, usually the answer is "yes".

    Remember when I said I feel fake? Yeah.....when I binge....if I get an unhealthy snack in the daytime, yes, I count it, but once I log out and should stop eating for the night....if I get upset or whatever and feed my nerves late...no, I do not put that in my journal. I am so sorry to have to admit that, but I can't get help if I am not honest, right? I just don't want you to think that my whole journal experience is a joke. But when I binge....and it is right after a significant weight loss that I find myself doing this, I just don't log it. It is so much that no one would believe that I ate all that anyway. My daughter will get up the next morning and see a whole pizza box in the trash and be like mom you don't even like that pizza. She is right....I don't really, but I don't keep junk here so it is that whole self destructive feeling that I get, but I don't feel self destructive until after I finish eating everything.
  • as5811
    as5811 Posts: 62 Member
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    Do you know what sets off your binges? You mentioned that it happens when you have a significant loss. Is it a reward for losing? My binges are usually triggered if I'm upset or nervous about something. It is hard & why I don't keep certain foods in the house. Maybe think of your journey as a life change rather than a diet. No one is perfect and it is a journey.
  • mommyvudu
    mommyvudu Posts: 99 Member
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    I have to allow myself a cheat meal every week. Not a cheat day, just a meal. For instance last week I was craving a baked potato with butter and sour cream every day...so yesterday I had one with my salad for dinner. Loaded with fat, but I've been super happy since then. I haven't binges by doing this favor for myself. I restrict to 1200 calories daily so if I don't treat myself once in a while I know I will binge! And once I start binging it's hard for me to stop.
  • LessofPenny
    LessofPenny Posts: 53 Member
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    one of my friends shared something with me in a private message and I am going to use it to "soul search" because I really don't think I am celebrating a loss. I just recently noticed that it was not merely coincidence that it happens after a loss.
    So here is what she says:
    triggers are like nouns for me
    People=friends who are over weight and want to go for coffee, drinks, lunch, people who dissapoint me or make me feel alone
    Places=movie theatres, sporting events, parties
    Things=forced overtime, not getting enough sleep to get to the gym, not being prepared
    Knowing my triggers really helps, because I can avoid them or mentally prepare on how I am going to react to them.
  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
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    Logging is key. Even when you have eaten a buffet full of food, you still need to log it, just to see how much you have gone over and realize that you need to stop before it goes too far.

    I have been there right along with you and every time I have felt worse than the last. I don't want to keep putting my body or mind through that, so I have decided no matter what, I just have to keep logging. Even on days I don't exercise or on my PMS days, I still need to log to hold myself accountable.

    Logging is key. Every time I've strayed away from logging, I've gained a ton. But every time I log whether I exercise or not, I don't gain a whole lot back. if at all.

  • LessofPenny
    LessofPenny Posts: 53 Member
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    Logging is key. Even when you have eaten a buffet full of food, you still need to log it, just to see how much you have gone over and realize that you need to stop before it goes too far.

    I have been there right along with you and every time I have felt worse than the last. I don't want to keep putting my body or mind through that, so I have decided no matter what, I just have to keep logging. Even on days I don't exercise or on my PMS days, I still need to log to hold myself accountable.

    Logging is key. Every time I've strayed away from logging, I've gained a ton. But every time I log whether I exercise or not, I don't gain a whole lot back. if at all.

    I have said that before too...... but when I go over to the binge area.....it is so shameful for me. I hide it from everyone. When I am most successful with this, I take pictures of the scales every morning and send it to my one accountability partner here in town. It sounds like I need to go back to square one and just get some honesty with my logging. The strange part is that I don't judge any of mfp friends for binges so I don't know why I am so critical of my own self. My accountability partner did not get pictures of the scales this week. I don't send them when I am being bad, but I don't really want to tell this person that I am cheating.
  • LessofPenny
    LessofPenny Posts: 53 Member
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    update is that it has been a few weeks and I have lost back down to 155. I have been doing good, but the closer I get to that 153, the more I start to think about how I always sabotage myself. It has happened so often. I have been logging everything....no matter what it is. I know that even at 153, I will still be a bit away from my 135 goal weight so I do not understand the psychology behind this. Maybe there is none and I am just over analyzing this.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Bingeing is a cover for something. Why are you overeating? You aren't doing it because of the food (unless you are eating an overly restrictive diet - if that's the case, we need to talk about moderation!)
    You know about your triggers, but your overeating is masking something, and you need to figure out what that is, and work that problem out.

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