Needing to vent.. disappointed in myself.

I'm horrible for this. I'm the worst for having no appetite or I get to busy at work and I don't eat during day but then just eat everything after 4PM. I'm focusing on little snacks every 2ish hours. It helps. When I get home I make sure to have glass of water to sip on so I'm not munching. If I have to eat because I'm starving my favorite is pickles, olives (low calories)

If and when you wnat it enough you will do it. You dont sound committed enough in that you really want it, understand what it takes and are prepared to follow the required course of action.

• Take responsibility for what you consume. Dont make excuses.
• Find different ways of dealing with stress, both exercise and the feeling you are making progress will give you postives that could be stress reducing.
• If you feel comfort in feeling full then find foods that satiate you but without th calorie hit.
• If you are an emotional eater hen find a strategy to deal with it, which will probably need you to tackle the underlying reasons as as well as develop a strategy to do soemthing other than eat your feelings at times of stress and upset.

Just get smart, break it down into its component parts, understand weight loss by reading up and then put in place a plan thats simple to follow but will give you success. Follow the plan and lose weight by being consistent one day and one lb at a time.

What is your daily calorie goal? Many times people see the 2 pound a week option and choose it automatically because they want to get the weight off ASAP. The problem with that is, especially with women, your daily calorie goal is going to be quite low (often 1200 calories.) This can be very restrictive and lead to you going off plan due to a lot of hunger.

My suggestion to most women with less than 75 pounds to lose is to choose a goal of .5 or 1 pound per week. That will give you a base calorie goal that should be filling enough that you don't end up feeling extremely hungry. Eat within that calorie goal. Aim for a well rounded diet, with plenty of nutritious foods, but also allow yourself treat-type foods. And keep in mind that there are plenty of crossover foods that can be seen as treats but also provide good nutrition. This is one reason why a lot of MFPers urge posters not to look at foods as healthy vs non-healthy and instead to look at your diet as a whole and realize that there is room for ice cream, pizza, etc.

I'll also suggest that you might do better by eating more calories earlier in the day. Eating a larger breakfast or lunch, or fitting in a snack or two before you get home, will help you not to feel as hungry later in the day. Different people like to set up their meals differently but it does sound like fewer calories early in the day is not working for you.

One thing that has helped me become successful has been to forget the idea that I have to be motivated a hundred percent of the time. It's just not going to happen, lol. Motivation will come and go, so in order to be successful and stay on track, it takes determination, self-control and consistency. I obviously don't have all the answers, but my advice to you would be to first: stop blaming and being negative about yourself--it certainly doesn't help you achieve anything, right? Lol. Second: Reevaluate the path to your goal-maybe you're trying to do too much all at once. Third: Make a budget friendly meal plan and stick to it for one week and go from there-Anyone can do anything for 7 days. Fourth: If you mess up and end up eating the whole kitchen, big flippin' deal, do better the next day and get over the guilt. Five: Really work on gaining more confidence--you absolutely need to be more positive. Also, try not to associate being happy in life with your weight--lol I know, harder than it sounds, but it's important that you learn to value yourself regardless of what the scale says. It sounds like you're sweet, smart and wonderful person so you should be happy with yourself for those reasons. I sincerely wish you all the best and hope you accomplish everything you set your mind to!

This was definitely how I gained weight in the first place. I would do the same thing as you: stand there shoveling food into my mouth thinking "what are you doing!?". I also take comfort in feeling full. I lost the weight (slowly but surely) and kept it off for 3.5 years, but every day I have to renew my motivation to succeed. Motivation doesn't just exist. Every day (and throughout the day) I have to make a conscious decision that I am going to eat well today because it makes me feel better mentally and physically, it makes me perform better in my workouts/training, and makes me feel like I am in control of my life. Of course I fall off track every now and then but I make sure to pick it right back up when I start feeling crappy and out of control. Force yourself to stay away from the fridge after work for one day. Tell yourself YOU are in control, not the fridge! The next morning, pat yourself on the back because you are the bomb, and do it again. One day at a time. You got this!

HockeyWifey wrote: »

Oh my.. you guys are amazing! The advice that I am getting from this post is so heartfelt. Thank you for taking the time to help and your kind words of encouragement.

I have my MFP set at losing 1 pound a week. The calories for my height and weight are set at 1630 a day, which is not the issue. The issue is mindless eating. Whether I am hungry or not. I need to take more responsibility for what I am doing and not make excuses, y'all are absolutely right.

I always say I need to stop being so lazy.. and I really just need to. It comes down to that. There is no one else to blame but myself. I think having others talk to me about it helps. My husband God bless him, will tell me every single day I am fine the way I am, he loves me no matter what size. Which (obviously) is a blessing for him to love me for the way I am. But in that case, I never hear stop being lazy, don't make excuses... because I never hear it. And I say to myself well if hes happy then you can just settle.

I am done settling.. I am done! I can do this! Thanks guys

Habit snacking is the worst! What I did was to identify when it happened. For me, it was when I was on the computer or watching tv. So I did a couple of things. One was to not keep any snack foods in those areas. It's in the kitchen put away, so if I want something, I gotta stop what I'm doing and go get it. I've found that if I'm not really hungry, I let myself be lazy and don't get it. XD Another thing is to find something to do with your hands. If I'm sketching, like at game or something, I don't get hungry. My hands and brain are occupied at a task that requires at least some concentration, so the habit doesn't strike then. It's not a perfect system, but I find ways to make my laziness a positive thing, and not wanting to go downstairs for a snack if I'm not actually hungry does work. ^_^

Also, you need to get your husband onboard. Not joining what you do, but if a certain junk food always triggers habit snacking, banish it from the house. Even if it's something he likes too. He can go get it somewhere and eat it however he wants, but if it's not in the house, it'll be easier to tame your habit down. But don't force him to follow what you're doing if he doesn't want to. Just limit your portions, try and cook healthier meals, and let him eat how he wants to. Make sure he knows that you don't expect him to change his eating habits if he doesn't want to! While it's easier to do if your SO joins you, forcing them to can cause friction.

Planning your meals and discipline your self is the key,i go to the gym in the a.m and work mid afternoon till the evening,and my snacks are low calorie with plenty of water,being active is the key that way if you have a solid routine by time it's time to go to bed maybe a light snack 30-1hr before and you should do fine.

It is a good start to know what you are doing. Now you need to get to the why are you doing it.

Why do you feel the urge to eat, when you know you are not hungry or that it is bad for you? What are you getting out of it? Is it comfort? Trying to fill a need for physical comfort? How is your living situation? Do you have a tidy home?How are your relationships? Your life in general? Are you really hungry or are you lonely? Bored? Suffering from depression, anxiety, stress?

Over eating has a psychological component. stop. It could mean that you have to face up to some things that could be difficult to admit to yourself. But until you figure out why you eat, you can't find out how to stop.

This is a very personal and individual thing. No one here is going to be able to tell you what you personally need to work on.

Just realised how long this comment is, so sorry about that!

That used to be me. I feel for you. Not just the stuff that was in the house, either - I'd go to the supermarket with that burning desire to buy all this crap and eat it, and I was definitely fighting myself and losing. I don't have the magic bullet for you that will let you win the fight, because it has to come from inside of you, but things that have worked for me as a general rule include:

- ditch the guilt associated with eating "bad" foods or snacking. Food is not inherently evil, it's just food. The only thing that makes it "bad" is that it doesn't fit in with our goals. A little bit, sometimes, is okay, as long as it fits in with your goals

- redefine your goals, and make sure they are tangible, measurable and realistic. Weight is certainly an indicator of progress but it's not my personal holy grail anymore. My goal is for a long, healthy and happy life, not quick weight loss. Feeling healthier and more energetic is tangible. Making better choices most of the time is realistic. My measurables are success or failure at things like "don't eat deep fried foods when I go out for dinner" (I know I will go out for dinner because I’m not a hermit, and that I will probably eat more than my calorie limit, but I can still make better choices within that space), or "go to the gym three times per week and do something a little bit better than last time" (because just showing up can be a fight, but once you’re there you can make it count). I still weigh in, but I care more about the higher weight I can lift this week or that my clothes look better on me than I do about my weight

- your words - "trying to be healthy" - it's not all or nothing, sink or swim. It sounds like “trying” to be healthy could be stressing you out, which may contribute to you to snacking uncontrollably. Change the way you define success or failure, and be kind to yourself. Healthier choices, most of the time

- stress in your personal life – I speak from a LOT of experience when I say that if your mental health is out of whack (from stress) then it is harder to keep your physical health in check. Either remove yourself from the stressful factors, or change your patterns of responding to them. Ignoring them or repressing them won't make it go away. A counsellor helped for me – I went there to talk about my eating, and I came away learning more about myself and why I behave or respond the way I do within relationships (including those with my family). Having awareness around that has put me in control

- it sounds like it might help if you didn’t keep snack foods in the house. If you feed your binge urges with carrots not lunch meat or ice cream, sooner or later the association with the “reward” (sugar/fat) component will fade, and those foods will become less appealing. Hard to believe but it’s true – we’re so wired in this society to associate fatty or sugary food with reward, but now that I’ve broken that association a big piece of cake makes me feel all weird and buzzy instead of blissed out, and chips make me feel quite ill if I have more than a couple.

Good luck, and go easy on yourself!

There is a book I read a while back called Willpower. It's the science behind it - the chemistry and physiology that makes it last longer for some over others. Obviously if you have the ability to maintain a longer willpower that results in a better discipline which affects emotional motivation and of course successful output. Once one begins to change the chemistry of the energy source - reduce fats and sugars, amend calorie intake and expenditure that tax on your system will challenge your willpower 'fuel'. Don't forget that the other life challenges you face are already chipping away at your willpower reserves.

You sound very hard on yourself OP. Understand that you may be working at full capacity right now. Eating yourself out of house and home by the end of the day is a tell tale sign that your willpower has completely depleted and in order to rebuild it you require the food intake. The science of willpower is extremely interesting and unfortunately overlooked too often by people trying to make a life change and feeling they are missing the mark.

You may have to reduce the demand on your system. Change your caloric reduction to more midest change levels. Exercise not so much in an athletic manner but simply in a movement manner.

Cold turkey actions may be a set up for failure and disappointment. Small goals, even really small goals might save your willpower to succeed another day.

I feel you. That's why I'm in OA (it's kind of a last resort and I'm not religious/spiritual by any means but it's helping. there are people in the groups that know how broken and hopeless I've felt and that helps me not feel so alone in my struggles).

I do the same thing go so well all day and then I go see my bf after work and he keeps wanting to go out for tea of get take away and on top of that junk food.

when I met him I was 60kgs now I'm 67kgs can't blame him he's not forcing food down my throat.

I surprise myself how much I can eat.

In 1 night I had KFC (zinger burger, 2 wicked wings, popcorn chicken, chips and potato and gravy plus a drink) after all that I had ice cream and a 170g packet of salt and vinegar chips and then some chocolate.

I still can't believe I ate all that, I did feel sick by the end of the night but it doesn't turn me off from eating junk food another night which it should. I had stomach pains all the next day and didn't eat until 3pm.

Weighed myself to scare myself back into being healthy

If you're finding yourself grabbing whatever's around (veggies, fruit, chips, ice cream, lunch meat, whatever), it does sound like the planning piece isn't totally there, and I totally agree that that will make a real difference. No judgement, it's all a learning process.

Drop the deficit down to -0.5/lb a week, and consider planning your meals this way: eat more protein (at least 6-8 oz/meal, of meat, if you eat it), fat, and fiber (at least 22 grams a day). If you like beans and legumes, they are a really filling source of fiber (& they have protein, too). Have things you love that don't meet those criteria so you don't feel deprived, but fit them around that kind of plan.

Some people just have good appetites. The only way I can net 1600 is if I burn 300 off 1900 gross, and if I plan my meals so that I'm full. I've still lost over 50 pounds. There's no race you have to win, steady losing is fine.

I totally hear you! Part of my problem, and maybe yours, is eating out of HABIT. It was always my habit to start snacking as soon as I got home. I would meander into the kitchen, get some crackers or chips, and munch munch munch all night long.

It has taken some time for me to develop a new habit of immediately going to exercise. Now when I get home, I immediately change into my work out clothes and grab my iPod. My habit is not to grab food anymore, it is to go to the gym and workout. After working out, I'm gross and need a shower, and after a shower I always have a sit down regular meal, not just snacks out of the cupboards. Now being active is my habit over sitting down and munching right from the box.

Maybe trying a new habit would work for you. If for example you find you always eat popcorn while watching TV, try a different habit. You could sub in gum or a glass of water. Or get physical, and walk in place or do crunches during commercials. If you find you always crave something sweet at 8 pm, try eating some grapes or a piece of dark chocolate instead of ice cream or cookies. These small habit changes can make a big difference!