Gave up and now I am sooo depressed!

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kellicruz1978
kellicruz1978 Posts: 170 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone, I don't know who to turn to for support so I am turning to the MFP community! I have been struggling with my weight for YEARS now, I have been a member of MFP since 2012? 2011? Not sure, but I had success and then I quit. Since then I have been on one program after another. Most recently I hired a very expensive trainer and nutritionist...had some success, then QUIT. AGAIN. I completely wasted my money. And now I am in such a deep dark funk I don't know how to get out! I have gained all the weight back that I lost plus some. I am close to 300 pounds and I just want to cry. What do I do? How do I get motivated and get this done???? I don't want to be 300 pounds. I don't want to be 200 pounds! I need help.

Replies

  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
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    Well, first you need to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. You can't change them now, all you can do is change how you act now and in the future.

    Then you need to identify why those past attempts failed. After that, you can formulate a plan that can accentuate the parts you like, and find solutions for the ones that didn't.
  • jrevis001
    jrevis001 Posts: 505 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Hey, I know where you're coming from. Since this is MFP and the community here is supportive I'll let the cat out of the bag. I started this journey (for like the 50th time) at 326 (I'm 297 now). It's the heaviest I've ever been. It took me months of just thinking about losing weight before I finally tried. I'm confident in myself this is my time to loose the weight. Here is what I do that keeps me going:

    Stop focusing on the weight and get into a fitness routine that works for you. Focus on challenging yourself without overdoing it. I started with 10 minutes on the elliptical and have gradually build myself into 30 minutes. You MUST read the ques your body gives you. If it's too much don't tell yourself your a wimp. Try taking it down a level on the machine and give it a few minutes to see if you can keep going. If not, so. If so, great!

    Realize that this is a long and complicated journey. It's a mental process. You've got to be stronger than your will to quit. I found inspiration because I work in a funeral home. It made me realize how short our time here is on earth. Yes, I can die any day from any number of things but I refuse to let my cause of death be obesity. Screw that! I'm worth more! And so are you.

    The food. Here it is. I LOVE food. If this is your biggest problem as it is mine then here is what you do. Take joy in making your dishes look beautiful. I really like the colorful plate rule. Look for your plate to be filled with greens and Reds, and oranges! Also, I can't stand bland food. I had to tell myself if I'm going to do this then my food will taste good while being healthy. So, it is. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

    Body ques and food. Sometimes halfway through your meal you may have to get up. Wash some dishes and return to your meal so your brain had time to process that you've feed your body and yes your beginning to feel SATISFIED. I like satisfied over full. Full implies overstuffed.

    You're going to cheat. It's ok. It's part of living. Don't beat yourself up. Don't make it a habit. Say I've had an off day (not bad day because you need to stay positive) I'm going to get some sleep and try again tomorrow.

    Celebrate small goals. Create several small goals such as I want to be able to use this machine for 20 minutes and not feel like I'm dying. When you reach it give yourself a party on the back! Do not reward yourself with food. Like today, I rewarded myself with lipstick and perfume. Rewards should be something that makes you feel special or happy. Food is not that. It's that friend that smiles to your face but talks about you behind your back.

    Most importantly, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER STOP TRYING! We'll get there. Surround yourself with positive people who support you and leave the rest in your dust.

    Hope this helps and inspires!
  • jrevis001
    jrevis001 Posts: 505 Member
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    Also, not everday will be a ray of sunshine. That'sok. Sleep will help. Remember this is for you and you alone. That's what I have to keep telling myself. It's not for my kids, not for my fiancé, or my parents. It's because I want this. I want to ride a roller coaster and actually fit. I want to feel good about myself for one in my life. Be selfish right now. This is your journey. Only you know what you want and need. :)
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Don't think of it as losing over 100 pounds. Just take it one day at a time. This is a marathon, which you run one step at a time. You need to set a goal (0.5 pounds a week?) so that you stop gaining. But aren't too hungry.

    As you get back in the habit of logging you will start figuring out your pitfalls and weaknesses. You won't do it all today, but you have already taken the first step by posting. Welcome back and take advantage of the many generous people on here who will help. And read some of the success stories on here.
  • madhousenmich
    madhousenmich Posts: 45 Member
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    I'm in the same boat, I just feel so down and I just can't find a way out
  • deescrafty
    deescrafty Posts: 174 Member
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    Talk with your physician. There are things that can help with depression. If you don't address your emotional state its really hard to get on track. I ate myself into prediabetes this year after a really hard year, one of the most stressful Ive ever had. My doctor helped me with the underlying depression, and now I strong enough to work twice as hard to get my health on track. Sometimes we need help, whether from the people around us, our physician, or people like those on MFP. Most of us have dieted on and off for years and had a big fail or two. Once we realize it's not a diet but change to a healthier lifestyle we are lots more successful. Remember it took years to put on, and give yourself time to take it off with a slip backwards occasionally. YOU CAN DO THIS! One day at a time. One step at a time. Read the success stories and start logging, even if everything you ate was junk. The changes will come.
  • chey282
    chey282 Posts: 96 Member
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    I think for myself, if I look at the big picture, I get overwhelmed. But if I look at one item, work on that, it's a LOT easier. In 2013, I started out at 260, I'm 5 ft tall, was size 26, now, I'm down to 202, and a size 18! But every pound was a struggle. I started out with phentermine, lost 40 lbs, had to take a break, gained 10 back, second round of phentermine, lost that 10, (it didn't help me as much as I'd hoped and I spent the whole time dealing with stomache issues, nausea, throwing up if I didn't eat, etc.) this time, I got a trainer, tracker, and gym membership. Ive lost 27 pounds since January. I set small goals like, I want to hit 199 by Labor Day. Or I want to be able to spend an hour on the cyber arc, which I was up to before knee surgery. Hopefully coming off a plateau, if I don't make it to 199 by Labor Day, I'll set a new goal. I'm fighting hypothyroid, menopause, fibromyalgia, arthritis in both knees, ankles, back, neck with degenerative disc disease in my low back and neck. Dr tried to talk me into gastric bypass and I refused. I didn't want the life long restrictions, and my abdomen is full of scar tissue. I'm also battling 5 past hernia surgeries, so have to be super careful of what and how I lift. But, I'm doing it! And if I can, I know you guys can! I spent my teens being told I was fat, when in reality I just have an athletic build. Now, I have learned I have to push myself to eat enough, so many years of food is bad, potatoes are bad, white carbs are bad, etc, trying to undo all that. But the greatest feeling is when I see someone that I haven't seen in a while and they comment on how great I look. I also have a ten yr old son, if I give up, what example am I setting for him? Not to mention all the people I've inspired to get healthier. I was overwhelmed when I realized how many others I'd effected. Love yourself, tell yourself you ARE WORTH IT!!! Make your self a priority. If you have to pick one thing a week to change, do it, start with the amount of pop or other drinks you drink, maybe change that to instead of you can't have it, you can have it AFTER you've had so much water. Or you want something sweet, you can have it after you've done a workout to give yourself the calories. Are you going to have days where you totally blow your calories out of the water? Yes, but every day is a new day. Today, you binged, tomorrow start over and figure out why you binged and what do you need to do to not binge? Sometimes it's not about motivation, but self discipline, I haven't felt like a full workout lately, I gave myself permission to cut back, but not to just sit and be lazy. We've had a lot of weather changes, and I feel them days in advance, some days I have the strength to push through and others I don't. This is a new lifestyle, not a diet. From Almost totally bedridden to some days a 2-3 hour workout, I have to recognize the changes and keep going, I NEVER want to be up to 260 again!!! I have 7 grandchildren I want to see grow up! I have a ten yr old watching my every move, if I give up now what's that tell him? Start slow and keep moving forward. Throw out the negativity, take care of you! When you are older you will be soooooooo thankful you did! One day at a time, sometimes one meal. One snack at a time!
    Hugs and you got this!!!

  • kallemann67
    kallemann67 Posts: 92 Member
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    jrevis001 wrote: »
    You MUST read the ques your body gives you. If it's too much don't tell yourself your a wimp. Try taking it down a level on the machine and give it a few minutes to see if you can keep going. If not, so. If so, great!

    Realize that this is a long and complicated journey. It's a mental process. You've got to be stronger than your will to quit. I found inspiration because I work in a funeral home. It made me realize how short our time here is on earth. Yes, I can die any day from any number of things but I refuse to let my cause of death be obesity. Screw that! I'm worth more!

    Celebrate small goals. Create several small goals such as I want to be able to use this machine for 20 minutes and not feel like I'm dying. When you reach it give yourself a party on the back! Do not reward yourself with food. Like today, I rewarded myself with lipstick and perfume. Rewards should be something that makes you feel special or happy. Food is not that. It's that friend that smiles to your face but talks about you behind your back.

    Most importantly, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER STOP TRYING! We'll get there. Surround yourself with positive people who support you and leave the rest in your dust.

    Hope this helps and inspires!

    REAL wise advice and precision understanding of the process.
  • hamelle2
    hamelle2 Posts: 297 Member
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    Hey...let's just lose 10#
    After that...we will lose 10 more.
    Wash...rinse...repeat! :D
    OK?
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Im sure theres sme great advice above. My view is that you need to commit and work out a plan that fits you. It sounds like you just havent go soemthing simple that you are willing to apply and you lack self confidence that you cna do it.


    You cna do it ofc, but you need to do it in a way that deals with all the things that threw you off before. You have to address them and take responsibility not for part of the journey but all of it. One day at a time though and easy tragets at first.
  • emmagrace0818
    emmagrace0818 Posts: 211 Member
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    I have gained 100 lbs from. Having depression.. I know how dark of a feeling it is and getting out of it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through .. I recommend seeing someone and talking about it professionally and getting on a medication.. I. Know ppl say try to avoid medication but I couldn't get out of my funk to exercise to beat my depression.. After 3 years I finally found a medication that is bringing me out of it and I'm finally slowly but surely starting to exercise and I can't wait to lose all of this weight and eventually get off of medication .. If you need someone to talk to then add me and message me.. I feel like I have lots of insight about depression to share and help others
  • kellicruz1978
    kellicruz1978 Posts: 170 Member
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    Really great advice everyone!! It helps to know that I am not alone. Thanks so much!

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