Starting over again, dieting to survive! I have lost control of my body!

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  • JackieAC1951
    JackieAC1951 Posts: 94 Member
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    I once read that diet is a way of eating. I have learned that I've been on a diet, good or bad, all my life. I have learned that I can be in control of my "good" eating as long as I limit my "bad" foods to the correct proportions and document ALL foods that I eat through MFP. By staying within the macros established through MFP, this "diet" is now a way of life. I, too, had to recognize that changing way of life started with me. Don't be discouraged, and take it slowly, one day at a time. You WILL be glad that you did.
  • bluebutterfly6
    bluebutterfly6 Posts: 26 Member
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    Thank you all again! Great advice! I have thrown/given away every "bad choice" of food in my house. I have downloaded all the fitness games for my wii, and I am getting a dog for companionship and someone to exercise with me when my husband is at work.
  • shadowconn
    shadowconn Posts: 141 Member
    edited August 2015
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    bluebutterfly6 wrote: »
    Shadowconn , I am very sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing with me. I hope you're story will help me to strive for better! My children also beg me to get healthy. Mainly my oldest who just graduated Upenn. She is now Dr. Fowler, a beautiful veterinarian! She deserves to not worry about me!!

    I hope so too. I never thought it was too late to get healthy, but 30% kidney function. I think it's too late for her. And this was fast. Last year this time, her kidneys were fine. 90% or so. Today . . . 30%... And at this point there is no advice I can give her. No one knows what a diabetic, heart disease, kidney failure diet is..... There just isn't one. SOMETHING has to be working correctly! No child deserves to watch their parent die from overeating.

    I've used her for my own motivation. I stepped on the scale last month after my mother hounded me about my weight. Aparently, I am fat. I did not believe this. I've never been fat. I stepped on the scale and went OMG . . I'm gonna die. Somewhere in the last 3-5 years . . I gained 80 pounds. I'm down 20. I don't want to die like her, and I doubt you want to experience it personally either.
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
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    good for you Shadowconn, for being motivated to do something. good luck along your journey to health :)
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
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    Trav
    Traveler120 wrote: »
    This is what I'd do if I were in your position:

    All great advice! for us all. thank you :)
  • treed7399
    treed7399 Posts: 1 Member
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    I will also encourage you to change your life now. A life transformation....it's time to dig deep and really work on you...inside and out! Know that you are loved and that you are not alone. My mother is extremely obese and now at 69 she is living in a handicapped apartment because her movements have become so restricted due to her weight. She can't even walk to get her mail, make her bed, bend over, she has type 2 diabetes......As her children, we three kids kindly tried to ask her to lose weight but she refused for the last 20 years. And now, well she is reaping the "benefits" of her decision not to even try. There are so many things she misses out on with her grandchildren because of this. So I encourage you, change now...So much to live for in the next 20 years of your life!
  • garydeinert
    garydeinert Posts: 106 Member
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    I'm impressed with your honesty. So glad to hear you have committed yourself to make a change. You're going to get a lot of advice here from a lot of well-meaning folks, which is good. What you need to do is pick small 'wins' for yourself; decide what you want to accomplish today, and reward yourself for those healthy 'wins'. Don't get down on yourself for not following everyone's advice -- you cannot do it all. Decide what is a 'win' for you, and reward yourself when you do it. This is your battle, and we will be alongside you as you fight it, but it's for YOU! You can do this!
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
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    Traveler120 wrote: »
    This is what I'd do if I were in your position:

    1. Right now, if you haven't done so, go through your cupboards, pantry and fridge and throw away everything that is a processed food. Sodas, chips, biscuits, processed meats etc. I don't care who lives with you and if that's their food or snacks. You need to call the shots and put yourself first. If they want to eat these foods, they should go out, buy them, eat them and bring nothing home. If it isn't in the house, you won't eat it.
    2. From now on, eat only real food and focus on whole foods. Eat more plant food than animal food. Eat potatoes, rice, whole grains, fruits and veggies. For now, cut back on nuts and seeds. They're healthy but high in fat and you can be more satisfied with a higher volume of food with the same calories compared to nuts.
    3. Avoid adding fats and oils when cooking and save hundreds of empty calories from cheese, butter and even olive and coconut oil.
    4. Move your body. If you can walk without pain, do it, even if for ten min at a time. Find ways to fidget as much as possible. If watching TV, stand and sit throughout or just pace. If you're talking on the phone, don't sit, just pace back and forth. These simple things can easily accumulate to hundreds of calories a day. Since you're probably better off with low impact exercise, if you go to the gym, use a stationary bike, or elliptical with some resistance. The most important thing is to find an activity you like. If you don't like lifting weights, don't do it no matter if everyone says you must. Do as much cardio as your time allows, even if it's low intensity.
    5. No fad diets. Don't fear sugar. Just eat less and move more. Remember that you can eat less calories without being hungry by eating whole foods, especially plant foods. If you get hungry, try eating a grapefruit or a large bowl of strawberries and tell me if you can eat anything else for at least several hours. I can't.
    6. The above tips will reduce your caloric intake, increase energy expenditure and increase your calorie deficit which is required for fat loss.

    OP, I would advise you, personally, to NOT take some of this advice. Here's why... if you restrict too much, you will get bored, and you'll eat all the 'junk' you can get your hands on. Do you know what 90% of the successful people on this site have in common? We didn't cut out foods we love. We learnt how to work those foods into our diets. There is NOTHING wrong with treats in moderation. If you have the calories for it, then go ahead and have a bit of chocolate, or some crisps (chips to Americans) or a couple of biscuits.
    Plus, throwing out someone else's food is just plain rude. Asking someone to not eat the foods they want in their own home is rude. OP, you are going to see these foods everywhere and you have to learn to deal with it. What's better, eating a little in moderation, staying under your calories and losing weight... or seeing doughnuts at the store and buying and eating 12 at once because you haven't had anything that could be considered a 'treat' in months?
    There's also nothing wrong with fat, so nuts and seeds are a-ok if they fit in your calories. Fat doesn't make you fat, calories do. And if you want to get more meat than plant products, go for it - that's what I do, because otherwise I don't hit my protein goal. Protein is very important because it keeps you full, and helps ensure you lose more fat than muscle.
    Most everything else in the above is solid advice. Don't fear sugar, and don't do more exercise than your body can handle - but get moving, even if slowly!
  • shadowconn
    shadowconn Posts: 141 Member
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    ShashayLee wrote: »
    good for you Shadowconn, for being motivated to do something. good luck along your journey to health :)

    thanks. I'm getting there. 36 pounds before I hit my healthy range and 59 before I hit my ideal body weight. In 2 pounds, I will be out of the obese category. That was the wake-up call. At 5'9" it is very hard to see OBESE. My jeans are a size 14. You wouldn't think that would be obese. But they wrap around my hips and my hips are narrow even at this size. I never would have realized this had I not stepped on the scale.
  • mrsgusto61
    mrsgusto61 Posts: 6 Member
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    Good Morning Ms. Bluebutterfly,
    My name is Kelly. I just needed to reply because in reading your heart-given words, I heard a few things...and some of them we have in common. First was the emotional pain. Yup - this lot in life is hard, but it is changeable. I heard you reaching out...I need help too, so guess what? I am asking you to help me too.
    PLEASE forget the liquid diets...if they worked there wouldn't be all of the others out there. We just keep looking for the "magic" and it takes a long time to realize it's already here with whole natural foods. They're our medicine, our magic and they're so available!! I really likes what Traveler 120 wrote to you. I, too, am going to take this to heart.
    Just by posting your feelings and asking for help, you have already in turn, helped so many others...I'm one of them. I thank you.

    Kelly....aka mrsgusto


  • Traveler120
    Traveler120 Posts: 712 Member
    edited August 2015
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    MarziPanda95 wrote: »
    OP, I would advise you, personally, to NOT take some of this advice. Here's why... if you restrict too much, you will get bored, and you'll eat all the 'junk' you can get your hands on. Do you know what 90% of the successful people on this site have in common? We didn't cut out foods we love. We learnt how to work those foods into our diets. There is NOTHING wrong with treats in moderation. If you have the calories for it, then go ahead and have a bit of chocolate, or some crisps (chips to Americans) or a couple of biscuits.
    In my mind I imagine to become 400 lbs, a person has to eat and LOVE to eat a LOT of junk food and while it may different for you and me, for her, having a bit of junk might be a slippery slope she's unable to get out of. She may need to retrain her taste buds and develop an appreciation for whole foods and that may require a complete abstention from junk, at least at this early stage. However, to be fair, if she has the will power to stop at a handful of chips and put the rest of the bag away, then perhaps yes, she can use moderation. But in her own words, she said she has lost control.
    MarziPanda95 wrote: »
    Plus, throwing out someone else's food is just plain rude. Asking someone to not eat the foods they want in their own home is rude. OP, you are going to see these foods everywhere and you have to learn to deal with it.
    Would you say the same thing about an alcoholic? Deal with it? I don't think so. You'd make sure there was no alcohol in the house and if anyone at home wanted a drink, they'd have to go out. It's called support. She has every right to require it from her family. Anything else is undermining the weight loss efforts of a loved one in your family and putting her HEALTH and well being at risk. Now that's worse than rude.
  • bluebutterfly6
    bluebutterfly6 Posts: 26 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Thank you all again for the great advise!! I feel myself growing stronger inside with everything I read!!!
  • UpcyclerGirl
    UpcyclerGirl Posts: 43 Member
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    Hi Blue Butterfly. Your story touched my heart. What I got most, while reading your story, was sooo much shame. Once you learn to control the shame, your self-esteem will rise, and you will be inspired by your own efforts to control your weight. This dieting thing is not easy, and sometimes, we crash and burn. But every day is a new day to try again. That is how I am choosing to look at it. My story....

    Two years ago, I weighed 60 lbs. less than I do now, thanks to this website. But when I hit a plateau that lasted 6 months with no change, no matter what I tried. So, I gave up - and in one year, I had gained back everything I lost. I admit, it was fun to eat again, but I am paying a terrible price. Two years ago, I could wear clothes off-the-rack. Now, I have to special order or shop at the fat girl stores. Two years ago, I kicked blood pressure meds. Now I am on twice as much medication that I was on before. Two years ago, muscles were toned and my stamina was incredible. Today, I can barely walk a block without wheezing, and my hips and knees burn. My shape has so radically changed, I can't even wear the same fat clothes I wore before I started my amazing journey here two years ago. I'm not looking for pity - in fact, I hope my story will encourage those of you working hard at this to STAY WITH IT! Going back to Fatland is no picnic. At my age (55), it's also bloody dangerous, too.

    I am now committed to getting "back in the saddle again", and hope some of you will befriend me. You too, Butterfly. We're in this thing together. :)
  • bluebutterfly6
    bluebutterfly6 Posts: 26 Member
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    Traveler120, I agree with you completely! For me,I have to rid myself of the junk food. The temptation is to great! If I have it, it will call me out everything! I do best when I am in situations where the food isn't there to "haunt" me, if you will. For others it may be different. For me I have lost control and need to discipline myself by breaking old habits and forming anew! Thank you for all your advice!
  • Chasity6
    Chasity6 Posts: 183 Member
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    Hello Bluebutterfly I am glad to meet you. Your story is so similar to mine. I have less to lose than you but not by much. My self esteem is horrible. I am tired of being tired all the time. I just want to take back the life I had in my early 20's when I was active and able to enjoy all the things I like to do. My oldest is in college and youngest is in middle school. So they aren't as dependent on mom for everything now and I just want them to see me make changes for my health to inspire them to eat healthy and make better choices so they don't struggle with weight like I have. Add me as a friend if you like I would really like to have someone with similar stats to do this journey with.
  • bluebutterfly6
    bluebutterfly6 Posts: 26 Member
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    Hello chasity6 it's nice to hear from. Let's take this journey together!
  • msmossyoak
    msmossyoak Posts: 5 Member
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    I love your post. I can relate to you on food being your drug of choice. I feel the same way. It comforts me when I am sad, happy, mad, worried, or any major mood change. I eat when I am full and binge a lot in the afternoon. It seems to be a never ending struggle. I wish you luck in this journey and we are all here to help you at any time.
  • psalm6932
    psalm6932 Posts: 31 Member
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    Baby steps to a totally new lifestyle! You've taken the biggest most important step and that's admitting you need to shed some pounds and take back control of your life. I'm in this with you! I am slowly learning to eat healthy and tracking my calories has totally opened my eyes! We can do this!!
  • ortiz0714
    ortiz0714 Posts: 3 Member
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    I am on your boat I feel the same way
  • meowcat4u
    meowcat4u Posts: 3 Member
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    You've got this! Focus on small goals. Eat whole foods. Learn to love fresh veggies. Cook for flavor with lean proteins and lots of colorful veg. Coconut oil is great to use. I had been focused on everything and everyone but me for 10 years. I managed to gain 100 pounds. Without pills or fad diets, I have lost 30 pounds in 3 months. I exercise daily, eat healthy, drink lots of water and if I want a cookie, I eat one. One. But I track every single thing that I eat. Everything. Even that quick handful of almonds (roughly 14 in a handful) I stay focused on today. Once you get in the habit of food tracking, you will see where your calories are concentrated. Exercise is vital. Just walk. You don't need a gym for that. I walk 30-35 miles a week. If you can walk 2 miles on a treadmill, you can easily take the time to walk that in your neighborhood. Download an app "MapMyWalk". That will give you exact distance. Good luck and stay positive! You can do this! Just keep going.

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