How to stop obsessing...

skbruewer
skbruewer Posts: 144 Member
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
Okay, every time I've ever gone on a diet, I do this. I obsess, and obsess and obsess over every workout, everything that goes into my mouth, just plain everything. I actually understand why this is driving my husband nuts. We can't go anywhere unless I check the nutritional info first. I only want to go places that I have the info for. I have trouble allowing myself cheats. I had 2 dark chocolate Hershey Kisses today, and I'm already contemplating how to work those 40 calories off. Seriously?!?!?!? I have 1060 calories left for today and the only thing left is dinner. I know that I have to have a minimum 1200 calories per day, but as I creep closer to that mark, I get fidgety. The logical side of my mind tells me I'm being stupid. I know the rules, and I have to do the work, so why can't I just let go a little? Why can't I ever be satisfied? Am I the only one who does this? I know it freaks some of my family and friends out, and they worry that I'm going to end up having an eating disorder. I don't want to end up there. EVER. So, any suggestions on how to let go a little? Can I beat the Type A side of my personality into submission?

Replies

  • jmgj27
    jmgj27 Posts: 531 Member
    I think it takes time. For the first 2 - 3 months of my 'diet' I was really twitchy. Now I've come to see it just as a different way of eating (albeit that I'm eating under maintenance level but the components are all there) and how my life is and I don't worry so much about having the odd treat or a glass of wine (sipping one as I type!). I know where I made mistakes in the past (treats became an everyday occurrence and I thought that since I did a lot of exercise it neutralised everything else I was doing...oops!).

    Don't know if that helps but thought I'd share!
  • cobarlo14
    cobarlo14 Posts: 582 Member
    I think it takes time. For the first 2 - 3 months of my 'diet' I was really twitchy. Now I've come to see it just as a different way of eating (albeit that I'm eating under maintenance level but the components are all there) and how my life is and I don't worry so much about having the odd treat or a glass of wine (sipping one as I type!). I know where I made mistakes in the past (treats became an everyday occurrence and I thought that since I did a lot of exercise it neutralised everything else I was doing...oops!).

    Don't know if that helps but thought I'd share!

    Definitely agree here!!! Well said!!!
    FYI - If I go into a resturant I always ask for Nutritional Info (resturant can hide massive amounts of calorie in a salad...LOL)
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
    Agree with above! The first 2-3 months are hard. I think it's more about accepting where you're at and going from there. I find that when I am ok with where I'm at I tend to make better choices and have less stress. You've already done the hardest thing (getting started). Just know that the fact that you care and are trying is great :)
  • jenjenlv
    jenjenlv Posts: 42
    You are NOT on a diet, this is a life change. I think realizing that will help you see that you can cheat here and there, you can go over calories here and there, but you will also be under some days and some days work outs will be easier, so me harder, some longer and tougher and some not at all!! Once you realize this is a forever change, then you can probably relax and take it easier on yourself and not drive yourself insane...
  • SLaw4215
    SLaw4215 Posts: 596 Member
    I think it takes time. For the first 2 - 3 months of my 'diet' I was really twitchy. Now I've come to see it just as a different way of eating (albeit that I'm eating under maintenance level but the components are all there) and how my life is and I don't worry so much about having the odd treat or a glass of wine (sipping one as I type!). I know where I made mistakes in the past (treats became an everyday occurrence and I thought that since I did a lot of exercise it neutralised everything else I was doing...oops!).

    Don't know if that helps but thought I'd share!
    I agree... I think once your new eating habit has become a real habit you won't feel like you need to. I am not quite as hard core about talking about it (but nobody at my house would listen LOL) but I'm constantaly logging food and exercise because right now this site is keeping me rooted and really enthusiastic about making this a long term permanent change.
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
    Ah, a fellow perfectionist, type A. Yup, btdt. It'll get easier. You need to relax, or you're going to burn yourself out and lose your motivation.
  • krazygloo
    krazygloo Posts: 7 Member
    I think a lot of your obsessing is coming from retraining and rethinking how you deal with food. Once you are very familiar with what you put into your body, it will become second nature to you. Its good that you want to understand how many calories are in what you eat, its surprising to some people!

    Maybe start by retraining what is good to eat as a snack, and what is bad? For example if you like quantity, go for carrots instead of chocolate (buy the organic though, they actually taste like carrots) or do half and half? Allow yourself to have a treat, just don't eat the whole bag, and remember that feeling when you finished the treat, was it satisfying, or as satisfying as you had hoped? How you react also has an impact on how you feel about food. If you are getting a guilty feeling every time you eat chocolate, its giving a bad response to all treats. Don't have the guilt, just know it has consequence!

    It looks like you are well on your way to your goal. Good luck and keep it up!

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    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods
  • thompson000
    thompson000 Posts: 38
    It is a total life style change, after 2 months I dont really have to think about eating anything bad because it is habit to eat good.....if you dont eat all your calories your body will go into starvation mode making it tougher to lose the weight.
  • raychybabe
    raychybabe Posts: 121 Member
    It does get to be a bit obsessive - already im finding i feel edgy if i havent logged something or been to the gym (ive been 4 days out of 5 this week after work). I feel bad allowing myself treats. My mom tells me Im too thin, as do people at work and my friends think im obsessed with food, however eating healthily and doing exercise isnt something you can do half heartedly for a few weeks then go back to how you were, im trying to make a lifestyle style.

    however, im concerned that things will get a bit out of hand. im down this week to 118.25 pounds and Im 5 foot 7. Im trying to tone up my stomach and lose the muffin top, but without looking too skinny everywhere else. it seems there is a fine line!

    i hope ill relax as time goes on. i let myself have treats, and relax more on weekend, but i realise tat if i have it, i have to account for it.
  • bacarter18
    bacarter18 Posts: 48 Member
    I know that I'm currently "obsessing" also... but I think it's because this is finally something that WORKS for me... so I'm excited to log things and see where I'm at throughout the day.. it is also just my first month, so I'd consider it still "training" for my new lifestyle change. My mindset and habits have already changed greatly, and I think I worry about falling back into bad habits, so I obsess over my weight loss NOW. I enjoy being on MFP and encouraging others and reading the forums... and I've recommended it to friends. I'm trying to get my boyfriend to lose weight/eat healthier/exercise with me, but I'm trying not to be too pushy. I find myself talking about it alot thoughout the day with other people, as far as how many calories are in something or "no, i don't have enough calories for that" ... and thats when i feel a bit obsessive! but i enjoy it and i don't think i'm annoying anyone!... yet ;)
  • mcpenni
    mcpenni Posts: 12 Member
    I am almost as bad as you are - no offense meant - but I didn't know I could be so anal about something. My friends are laughing at me but I don't care. I am not normally this anal and so I am sure once I get into the swing of things I will calm down. I am just suprised how much I really get to eat and not feel deprived and still lose weight.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    I was like that from January through April. May I stepped back a little from this site and allowed myself to relax without logging and just trusted myself. I did fairly well. Now that I'm back I'm more relaxed and I'm not really stressing it like I was before. Its a lifestyle and its to be lived realistically healthy. You will get to a point when you just let all of it go and it becomes 2nd nature.
  • bacarter18
    bacarter18 Posts: 48 Member
    ... and yes... I do have trouble allowing myself a treat or a "cheat day"... it just makes me feel bad, like my hard work so far is going to go down the drain with just one chocolate! or one dinner out to eat with my boyfriend. I have to find the balance and know it's okay... that hey, the next day might be different... as long as I'm not sitting at dinner just talking abouthow many calories i'm eating! which now i feel like i'll do!

    And I'm anal about it also... because again, this is finally something that works for me. I've tried SO many times and said to my friends SO many times that "i'm going to start workout out... i'm going to start eating healthier" and it will last a few days or a week and thats all. But this has lasted me a month so far! and i'm still going! (so i agree with mcpenni!)
  • electricnarwhal
    electricnarwhal Posts: 95
    I was like that exactly, the first time around I was on here... I ended up giving up and just going back to my old ways. It drove me crazy SO MUCH. I felt like I couldn't eat a thing, without killing myself burning it back off.

    It takes time to get used to what you're doing. I came back here with a new mindset and to not act like that again. To not worry about a thing. :flowerforyou: Just think that everyone on here has their bad days. It's nothing to be ashamed about, it happens to everyone. Tomorrow's a new day! :smile:
  • mrsvatitagain
    mrsvatitagain Posts: 275 Member
    Yes Penni you are hilarious!!!! Like a crazy woman! But hey it works and is working and you are seeing results, but imma need you to take it down a notch please! Thank yoU!

    I think the obession is just more of being concious and its a good habit as long as you arent going over the edge!
  • suzannekatherine
    suzannekatherine Posts: 22 Member
    I'll let you know when I figure it out. I've been looging my food and eating to loose for almost 3 years. But it does sort of become more of a way of life, after a while. In the sense that you kind of know, intuitively where you can eat and what little things you can cheat with that won't set you off. I think the anxiety about the calorie limit approaching gets less intense too. But I also let myself have cheat days 2-4 times a month. I think it reminds your body that you are not starving, personally. And if you feel like you are about to give up entirely, ever, it really helps to release that steam valve so you can get back on track.
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