People Problem

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Replies

  • owensy12
    owensy12 Posts: 88 Member
    In relation to the 'You shouldn't be eating those' comment that a manager made, people do this to me all the time. One day I was eating a small bar of chocolate at work, and someone said the exact same thing. I was like I can eat what I want... 'I am NOT dieting'. People don't seem to understand that you can lose weight successfully without giving up everything you enjoy eating. It's all about moderation/portion control. I've lost over 2 stone.
  • Jztime
    Jztime Posts: 138 Member
    owensy12 wrote: »
    In relation to the 'You shouldn't be eating those' comment that a manager made, people do this to me all the time. One day I was eating a small bar of chocolate at work, and someone said the exact same thing. I was like I can eat what I want... 'I am NOT dieting'. People don't seem to understand that you can lose weight successfully without giving up everything you enjoy eating. It's all about moderation/portion control. I've lost over 2 stone.

    Well done Ownsy! Yeah I didn't call mine a diet either. Just calorie control.
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    Jztime wrote: »
    People will do this! I'd lost 10 stone when sat at my desk eating crisps (low fat ones) and a manager about 3 or 4 stone heavier than me said "you shouldn't be eating those". I think looking at you my friend it is I that should be dishing out the advice about who can eat what! Conversely people will say "oh go on you can have one", I'm sorry I wasn't aware that the NHS outsourced my dietician to being you? Is this now like Alcoholics Anonymous? Have I got you as my mentor? Do I ring you at 3am crying about the Jaffa cakes calling me from the kitchen cupboard? Will we be found the two of us in a cardboard box down an alleyway with empty multipacks of crisps strewn across the floor if we fall off the wagon and have one too many biscuits?

    So, I laughed way to hard at this visualization. :lol:
  • msharrington315
    msharrington315 Posts: 199 Member
    edited September 2015
    Some people have internal focus and others have external focus...
    From Wikipedia:

    Locus of Control: In personality psychology, locus of control refers to the extent to which individuals believe they can control events affecting them.

    A person's "locus" (Latin for "place" or "location") is conceptualized as either internal (the person believes they can control their life) or external (meaning they believe their decisions and life are controlled by environmental factors which they cannot influence, or by chance or fate).

    Individuals with a strong internal locus of control believe events in their life derive primarily from their own actions: for example, when receiving exam results, people with an internal locus of control tend to praise or blame themselves and their abilities. People with a strong external locus of control tend to praise or blame external factors such as the teacher or the exam.

    The development of locus of control is associated with family style and resources, cultural stability and experiences with effort leading to reward. Many internals have grown up with families modeling typical internal beliefs; these families emphasized effort, education, responsibility and thinking, and parents typically gave their children rewards they had promised them. In contrast, externals are typically associated with lower socioeconomic status. Societies experiencing social unrest increase the expectancy of being out-of-control; therefore, people in such societies become more external.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I find that a nice strident "I do what I want!" gets others to give up on their advice pretty fast. XD That said, you have to not care if they think you're crazy. Which I don't. lmao
  • foreverslim1111
    foreverslim1111 Posts: 2,632 Member
    This may sound weird but I actually enjoy logging. I'm guessing the reason is that my brain has linked it to seeing the scale move down. So when I see it move down, I get excited about posting my new lower weight on MFP and then showing my weight chart to my DH. And I enjoy a sort of secret euphoria all the rest of the day. It seems that I have become a bit obsessive about loosing weight. But I don't talk to anyone about my weight loss unless they ask and then I keep it off hand and very low key. And when I go two or three weeks with no weight loss I don't worry about it because I know the next small loss is coming. Has anyone else had these type of feelings? I'm hoping the answer is yes so I can feel sort of normal.

    The only problem with this is that when I get to maintenance, and don't see a loss on the scale - will I be able to get that little thrill anymore? And, I know that I will have to log forever cause I can't seem to eyeball things. And I am determined to not ever gain again.
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
    I had to take care of many issues, via therapy, before I even had a desire to be healthy. Was it all in my head? Yes. How did it get there? Because of my experiences in the world of people, media messages, and people contributing to those thoughts in words and actions. Once I stopped looking forward to dying, it made it much easier to want to be healthy. I blame others, I also credit others. Many of my family, friends, health care providers and MFP have helped me turn this around. No man is an island but I am the captain of my own ship. If others didn't have these struggles, I am happy for them. Don't judge me or OP because we have different struggles then you.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    I'm responsible for myself and my daughter and others are responsible for themselves. It's that simple.
  • This may sound weird but I actually enjoy logging. I'm guessing the reason is that my brain has linked it to seeing the scale move down. So when I see it move down, I get excited about posting my new lower weight on MFP and then showing my weight chart to my DH. And I enjoy a sort of secret euphoria all the rest of the day. It seems that I have become a bit obsessive about loosing weight. But I don't talk to anyone about my weight loss unless they ask and then I keep it off hand and very low key. And when I go two or three weeks with no weight loss I don't worry about it because I know the next small loss is coming. Has anyone else had these type of feelings? I'm hoping the answer is yes so I can feel sort of normal.

    The only problem with this is that when I get to maintenance, and don't see a loss on the scale - will I be able to get that little thrill anymore? And, I know that I will have to log forever cause I can't seem to eyeball things. And I am determined to not ever gain again.

    I am sort of the same way, I've been here before, logged & enjoyed it but it wasn't sustainable because of time management, I tried to change my entire lifestyle; in a day & I got frustrated & left. This time I am just changing 1 thing at a time & it's working because today is my 72nd day here, my longest time here & I've lost 11 Pounds & 2" off of my waist. I do want to log again but I know that I am not ready because that's my 3rd priority & I am still on my 1st of creating/tweaking recipes & then my 2nd is to finish assembling my home gym.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    edited September 2015
    Jztime wrote: »
    I may fail, I have accepted that but I need to try.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCPgvTRftZg

    (watch from around the 5 minute mark..)
  • Kexessa
    Kexessa Posts: 346 Member
    Jztime wrote: »
    If it's someone's birthday then I'll join in but I'll not be eating your cake because you came in via a supermarket and they have massive boxes of cakes on offer and you wanted one but didn't want to indulge alone so now you are fattening the whole office up to make you feel better.

    Most people find their birthday to be a celebration and the tradition of a birthday cake is like what, 600 years old?

    Too assume a person waits for 1 day a year where they can "fatten up the whole office" is really presumptuous. If you don't want to partake, don't. But don't spoil it for others or pass such harsh judgment upon them for celebrating the day of their birth and the fact they are still alive.
  • foreverslim1111
    foreverslim1111 Posts: 2,632 Member
    This may sound weird but I actually enjoy logging. I'm guessing the reason is that my brain has linked it to seeing the scale move down. So when I see it move down, I get excited about posting my new lower weight on MFP and then showing my weight chart to my DH. And I enjoy a sort of secret euphoria all the rest of the day. It seems that I have become a bit obsessive about loosing weight. But I don't talk to anyone about my weight loss unless they ask and then I keep it off hand and very low key. And when I go two or three weeks with no weight loss I don't worry about it because I know the next small loss is coming. Has anyone else had these type of feelings? I'm hoping the answer is yes so I can feel sort of normal.

    The only problem with this is that when I get to maintenance, and don't see a loss on the scale - will I be able to get that little thrill anymore? And, I know that I will have to log forever cause I can't seem to eyeball things. And I am determined to not ever gain again.

    I am sort of the same way, I've been here before, logged & enjoyed it but it wasn't sustainable because of time management, I tried to change my entire lifestyle; in a day & I got frustrated & left. This time I am just changing 1 thing at a time & it's working because today is my 72nd day here, my longest time here & I've lost 11 Pounds & 2" off of my waist. I do want to log again but I know that I am not ready because that's my 3rd priority & I am still on my 1st of creating/tweaking recipes & then my 2nd is to finish assembling my home gym.

    I know what you mean about doing too much too soon. And I remember at first logging took me forever until I established a diary list. Now it's maybe 3 minutes per day. And now I'm even logging recipes in advance and tweaking them to fit in to my cal count. Love it!! It sounds like you are doing great. Congrats on your weight loss AND the inches off your waist. Cyber high5.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Jztime wrote: »

    All of this leads me nearly to the point of this post. The biggest problem in your life and success at weight loss is other people.
    No, it isn't. I'm an adult. I'm responsible for my choices. I don't get to blame my poor choices on other people.

    I'm kind of with you on this one.

    Sometimes people suck. Some will criticize, some will encourage behavior counter to your goals. Everyone has an opinion.

    But as an adult, it is my choice as to what I put in my mouth and whether I pick myself up off the couch and get active.

    My biggest problem is my OWN self sabotage.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    That said, OP, congratulations on both the large weight loss, and on being able to maintain without counting obsessively.

    I tend to go for about 6 months at a time (still weighing, but less frequently) without logging. When I start to see myself slide, then I resume logging. I don't wait for ten pounds to appear, I usually course correct when I'm trending (on average) 5 lbs higher than norm.

    Here's to continued success! :drinker:
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    So so so true!!! People seriously need to mind their own business. I stopped in at a local convenience store one day. I had been working since the morning and had skipped breakfast and lunch (unintentionally but it happened that way ) it was 2 pm and I was shaking I was so hungry and finally had a break. So I picked up a ready made pizza (about 400 caloroes)

    One of my friends happened to be in the store and scolded me "Now Karen you know you shouldn't be eating that!" And she saw the Hangry Side Of Me....lol...I was a wee bit too defensive but seriously. ...WTH gives people the idea that they have the right to police what others eat???

    Great job on your loss and learning to overcome people. You are 100% right. They *ARE* our biggest obstacle!
  • Jztime
    Jztime Posts: 138 Member
    Kexessa wrote: »
    Jztime wrote: »
    If it's someone's birthday then I'll join in but I'll not be eating your cake because you came in via a supermarket and they have massive boxes of cakes on offer and you wanted one but didn't want to indulge alone so now you are fattening the whole office up to make you feel better.

    Most people find their birthday to be a celebration and the tradition of a birthday cake is like what, 600 years old?

    Too assume a person waits for 1 day a year where they can "fatten up the whole office" is really presumptuous. If you don't want to partake, don't. But don't spoil it for others or pass such harsh judgment upon them for celebrating the day of their birth and the fact they are still alive.

    I think you missed the point here. He said he will partake of birthday celebrations. But, A lot of people decide they want a treat at work and they bring enough for everybody (I won't guess at motives). He's just saying he doesn't eat that.

    Yes Camper this is correct :)