Dating after significant weight loss

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  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    I'm p[retty upfront about it. I even have some of my old fat pics on FB. I think it's easier that way. There are enough things in my life that make dating difficult, if that's gonna drive someone off, it's better to get it out of the way early on.

    Me too. I also wanted him to know so that when I made remarks about worrying about gaining weight etc he'd have more of an understanding about it being a real concern rather than just a throw away remark. Now I've been with the same wonderful guy for 18 months I'm really glad he knew from the start rather than me having to worry about how he'd react down the track.
  • kallemann67
    kallemann67 Posts: 92 Member
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    vadimknobel wrote: »
    Talking as a guy, I would not care much if you lost 50 pounds before. There's nothing negative in that. it shows you are health conscious and motivated.

    Completely agree.
  • kellellie
    kellellie Posts: 109 Member
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    1. Own your story
    2. Don't mind read other people, it's usually your own insecurities reflected back
    3. Trust the person you're with to honor your life story
    4. You didn't go from "unworthy" to "worthy" by losing weight. You made a change. Tell that feeling of embarrassment to eff off and be proud of yourself. Others will be proud of you too.
  • danidanibobani
    danidanibobani Posts: 125 Member
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    AbsoluteTara79 wrote: »
    If something like that matters, he shouldn't matter! It would be a good test of character - tell him!

    This!
  • rjivory
    rjivory Posts: 51 Member
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    I would embrace your weight loss with pride! Bring it up! Tell him about how great you feel! It's just like telling him about any huge accomplishment in your life!!!
  • LilannB
    LilannB Posts: 99 Member
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    I checked your profile to see if you are a young person. Because I honestly can't imagine that a man would care that you once weighed more then you do now. What you've accomplished is something to be proud of not something you need to hide.
  • ericGold15
    ericGold15 Posts: 318 Member
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    Just starting from the little stats we know of how often overweight people who lose weight end up gaining it back, I can certainly understand the hesitancy to bring the topic up. Is it so different than e.g. having a past that includes divorce, or drinking too much alcohol ?

    In any case, those are group stats. You are an individual. An honest self-appraisal of the past and present informs the future, and that is what should be shared at a good time.

    (update): Funny. Sounds like he is not going to tempt you with junk food :smile:
  • Sinnister78
    Sinnister78 Posts: 134 Member
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    As a guy...I agree with the other guys point of view here. Its actually another check in the "pro's" column.

    Also, you look great so it wouldn't matter to him anyway.
  • pdwhitlock
    pdwhitlock Posts: 83 Member
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    Haven't read all the replies, but the fact that you had such great weight loss is something to be proud of! Every time I see someone over weight running or in the gym or eating healthy I want to run up and cheer them on! You are not your weight. You are beautiful in your before and after pics. Anyone worth dating should understand that. Best of luck in the dating and congrats on taking care of yourself and loving yourself!
  • woznube7
    woznube7 Posts: 550 Member
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    Thank you for sharing your story. I am having a hard time w/being single and also losing weight.. and not focusing on the losing weight to not be single anymore. It really does show that what is on the inside matters more than what is on the outside. Great work! Very inspiring, motivating, and a great reminder that I can do it! @steeheart
  • paulelliott7
    paulelliott7 Posts: 7 Member
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    I date a woman that I have a great relationship with that told me almost right away that they had lost a lot of weight. I've never worried about it at all. We work out together every morning now and enjoy being active together. Go for it, if he won't react favorably better to find out now than in the future! He won't mind, most people wouldn't, heck he'll probably be thinking more along the lines of how determined and strong you are!
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
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    First of all, you look amazing!

    Second, I started dating someone when I was around 6 months into my weight loss journey. I was happy within myself and it showed. He loved me as I was and when I carried on losing my weight, at a certain point he would have liked me to stop. Sadly that relationship ended but i've since found someone else who has only ever known me at this weight and loves me as i am now, even tells me to gain a little lol.

    I am proud of my weight loss and honestly, i pretty much tell anyone who will listen i've lost around 90lbs lol. I'll shove my older picures in their face as proof even when they don't ask for it haha.
  • Shunitam
    Shunitam Posts: 9 Member
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    :) U look awesome! How did u lose the weight?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    kathymay1013 wrote: »
    You were beautiful and worthy at 205 and you still are at 148. Believe that...

    *Z SNAP!* You got that right.

    YOU are AMAZING.

  • Palmeralex
    Palmeralex Posts: 40 Member
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    Tedebearduff wrote: »
    Try losing 172lbs and having lose skin .... give me a call when that happens.

    Honestly, not 1 girl I dated after my weight loss cared at all, my fiance doesn't care either. It's not an issue when you love someone and I guess when you're dating also...

    Funny thing is almost everyone I dated had lost weight also, (1 girl over 100lbs lost) I met them through friends, online etc... it was as if people who have lost weight are drawn to each other in some weird way.

    Just tell him, if he cares he can *kitten* off then.
    Your photos are well impressive. That is a lot of weight loss.
  • pipwilliams101
    pipwilliams101 Posts: 1 Member
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    You are my hero!!!!!

    Just to add you are beautiful before and after. You are the same wonderful person, men that judge anyone differently with or without extra weight are not worth talking about. There loss!!!

    I am starting out on my journey .... With similar goals and u are my inspiration. Thank you
  • ericGold15
    ericGold15 Posts: 318 Member
    edited September 2015
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    pipwilliams101 wrote: »
    Just to add you are beautiful before and after. You are the same wonderful person, men that judge anyone differently with or without extra weight are not worth talking about. [Their] loss!!!
    Your post made we wonder how the previously obese people who frequent this forum now in relationships handle the situation of a partner who gets obese (either first time or again.)

  • jeremyblaylock
    jeremyblaylock Posts: 17 Member
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    I think the biggest thing to remember is that EVERYBODY thinks about their body and weight, even though most people don't talk about it. I'm sure the guy will fully understand your journey and has often thought about his own body in similar ways. Share your experiences and maybe you'll gain a supportive partner who will help you progress even further in your goals.

    BTW awesome progress!

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