Eating too much?

jenniator wrote: »

aggelikik wrote: »

OP, please understand what you are saying:
You are living with a family where people are thin. But you refuse to eat what they are eating, because it will hinder your progress, yet choose to eat junk food because you think it is ok since you exercise.
It does not work this way. Your relatives are not thinner because they have magical abilities. They are thinner because they eat less calories than you, or burn more calories, or both. So, actually following their example, and leading a similar lifestyle, would help you lose weight, not stop your weight loss.
Stop with the junk food, you will never outrun a bad diet. Stop thinking of carbs as evil, and focus on portion control. Stop blaming the people who are giving you a place to stay. Stop blaming your genes for not being as good as your relatives, there is no such thing.
Count calories, be honest, do not expect to burn enough calories to make up for high calorie treats, stop avoiding entire food groups, and start working on portion control. And if you feel like eating junk, track it.

Sorry but you are joking right? I said in my post and other posts that I changed my lifestyle and eating habits to fit their preference. I never use to eat so much bread, but it's the only thing they buy and it's the only thing they eat for breakfast/lunch. So I eat it in smaller quantities. I only eat 1 slice with 2 slices of turkey instead of 2 slices of bread. Then for dinner they eat meals that come around 900 calories. So I choose to eat less during the day so I can fit that large amount in my calorie goal. Then it's not really a problem. The only issue I have is that they leave junk food everywhere around the house. I would appreciate it if they could clean it up a little so it's not in plain sight. Take it to their room or put it in the cabinet when there done would be really nice. Eating a bit too much junk food has been one obstacle I've been having trouble over coming, so I would appreciate a little understanding on their part. Also I don't think carbs are evil, just that they are high in calories. I'm also not blaming them or blaming my genes. I don't know where you got the blaming my genes from lol. I never said anything about that. But I'm not blaming my family in law for the way they eat. Especially since they've been eating that way for their whole life. I have adjusted my lifestyle to their preference. All I said is I would appreciate if they were a little more sympathetic/understanding and put the junk food away when they were finished instead of leaving it laying around the whole house.

Your in-laws are thin. So what they are doing is keeping them thin. You are heavier than them. If you did what they are doing, you would be as thin as they are. Of course scaling things down to your height, if e.g. your father in law is double your size because he is extremely tall, you do not get to eat the same portion size. Their food is not "bad" for maintaining a healthy weight as you seem to think, proof being that they are at a healthy weight.
As for junk food or whatever else, who is the house owner? If you are a guest, you do not get to tell people what they can or cannot buy. And come to think about it, overindulging by eating the treats they bought, is not nice manners either. I bought e.g. a bag of chocolates, which in my home will last throughout the week. If I had a house guest who decided to just eat half the bag and then was upset because I was responsible for hidign it in my own home, I would have considered this exceptionally rude. Unless the guest is 5 years old.

Also what do you mean when you say they leave it laying around everywhere. Is the food not in the kitchen? Or maybe the dining room? Is it literally laying out on every surface in the house? You want them to take it to their room so you don't have to be around it, why don't you go to your room if you don't want to be near it? What does your husband say about all this? I'm sure he's proud of you for the weight you've lost, do you talk to him about the frustrations you are feeling?

Personally I think living with that many people would be stressful and you are choosing to focus on the food situation because that's probably the most benign of the challenges of living with so many adults and a new baby under one roof...

You are the one changing your lifestyle, not them. If they don't want to change you can't force them, and it's somewhat unreasonable for you to expect them to hide junk food because otherwise you will eat it. Just because it's there, doesn't mean you need to eat it.

Can you ask to have your dinner on a smaller plate? I imagine the dinner is only 900 calories if you have the same size portion. Ask for half and have it on a smaller plate. Half a portion on a bit plate looks sad, but on a small plate it looks fine.

jenniator wrote: »

WinoGelato wrote: »

Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...

I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.

Is your mother in law force feeding you the starches? I know you said that's what there is the most of, but maybe try just taking a smaller serving.

OP sounds like you are not religiously logging your calorie intake. I understand it is difficult when other people cook for you, but if you can get a recipe for the meals you can log them on MFP using the recipe builder and calculate calories for portion sizes. If you can't weigh your food and figure out the exact calories, consciously overestimate what you are are eating.
Also you can make little changes like having a little less pasta or rice than everyone else is having. You can still sit with them and eat the same thing, but ask for a smaller portion size and I am sure they will be happy to do that for you. More for them!
Also, you can always replace the rice/pasta on your plate with some beans if you like? (There is nothing wrong with rice/pasta though, as long as you have moderate portions).
If you have a handful of crisps a cookie (the junk food), do you log these. Do you estimate how many crisps you are having or do you weigh it? I weigh the packet before and after to calculate the weight of the crisps I am eating.

With exercise calories, do you use the calorie burn given on the elliptical machine? These are estimations and can be hugely overestimated. I would use the 600kcals like you do, but don't subconsciously believe you have an extra 360kcals for emergency because you logged less than what the machine told you. Take the 600kcals as your definite, final number.
Also, if possible use a heart rate monitor as that gives you a better approximation.
If you have been doing the same exercise for over a year, the number of calories you burn now will be a lot less than when you started, not only because you weigh less, but also because your body gets more efficient at doing that activity, so do keep this in mind. Try changing your exercise routine. Try the treadmill or the cycle. Maybe try some swimming or rowing. Give you body a different challenge to work it harder and burn a few more calories hopefully.

The bottom line is, if you have stalled or you are gaining weight, you are simply eating more than you are burning. And your BMR may have been higher when you weighed more, so now your BMR will have reduced as well. Therefore, inconsistency and errors in your calorie counting, which probably didn't matter too much before, will start to become more important now which is probably why you are not losing although (you think) you are eating the same.
You will simply have to keep better records of your calories, try and overestimate calories in when you are not sure and underestimate the exercise calories.

Good luck!!! You got this!

@FunSizedKJ
Them leaving junk food laying around is not the reason you're gaining weight. You're gaining weight because you eat the junk food that's in the house

This ^^^

aggelikik wrote: »

jenniator wrote: »

aggelikik wrote: »

ndj1979 wrote: »

jenniator wrote: »

WinoGelato wrote: »

Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...

I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.

Then cook your own dinner and don't eat what she cooks...or eat less of what she cooks...

Life is about decisions

Hmm, come to think about it, with OP complaining the others do not like what she buys, OP please tell me you are paying rent and paying for your own groceries?

Yes of course, Me and my husband do pay for rent, groceries, electricity, ect. That would be extremely rude if we stayed there without paying for anything. Especially since his parents really could use the extra money. They work really hard and it's expensive if another person is living in the house. But it would be nice if my opinion mattered a little. I don't mind the way they eat and I don't want them to change it. Just it would be nice if they were a little mindful and put away their treats.

Then why do you all eat the same food??? Go shopping and get whatever YOU like. You already said they do not like the same things, so most probably you will not even have to bother telling them it is just for you. Your in laws can cook and eat whatever they like, you get your own food. So, when they have e.g. their rice as a side dish, cook a bowl of your own brown rice instead, or steam some vegetables or whatever you think would help you to stay within your goals. And buy your own lower calorie snacks. Either they will hate them and leave them all for you, or you can convert them and introduce them to new tastes too, so they become part of the family groceries list.

This. I had the same problem when living with my family. At first they were really funny with me about it, from snide remarks to outright guilt trips (you don't like my cooking do you?!) and hassling me non-stop because I was buying and making my own meals, even after explaining to them it was nothing to do with the cooking or whatever, but I wanted to lose weight.

I stuck with it despite their behaviour. And eventually, they just stopped. They accepted the fact that there was nothing they could do or say to change my mind, and just let me carry on. Stop making excuses as to why you can't lose weight and start taking some responsibility, or you will just fail. Grit your teeth, and if you want it badly enough you will find a way. Good luck!