Eating too much?
Replies
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WinoGelato wrote: »Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...
I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.
Then cook your own dinner and don't eat what she cooks...or eat less of what she cooks...
Life is about decisions
Hmm, come to think about it, with OP complaining the others do not like what she buys, OP please tell me you are paying rent and paying for your own groceries?0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Also what do you mean when you say they leave it laying around everywhere. Is the food not in the kitchen? Or maybe the dining room? Is it literally laying out on every surface in the house? You want them to take it to their room so you don't have to be around it, why don't you go to your room if you don't want to be near it? What does your husband say about all this? I'm sure he's proud of you for the weight you've lost, do you talk to him about the frustrations you are feeling?
Personally I think living with that many people would be stressful and you are choosing to focus on the food situation because that's probably the most benign of the challenges of living with so many adults and a new baby under one roof...
By laying around everywhere I mean it's in the kitchen, on all the tables, in the living room, by the T.V., ect. It is in practically every room besides in the bathroom. I mean besides cleaning up the junk food from everywhere, the house would look a lot nicer. Believe it or not, I am in my room a lot of times which helps a lot with the temptation since I don't see it. But even that doesn't always help since his family is really close, so they always want me to be around them and not just in the room. My husband is really proud of me and he is the most supportive/understanding. Of course I always talk to him about any issue I have. When he buys junk food, he keeps it around his area (Mostly by his computer.) and keeps it places he knows I don't really go. He also said he wishes his family would be a bit more considerate and put the junk food away. He has tried to talk to them, but yeah. I don't have problem with the amount of junk food they have, it would just be nice if they put it away and cleaned it up a bit. I mean why do 12 bags of junk food have to be all around the house, why not put some in the closet and leave out 2-3 bags/containers. I just mean say my sister and her fiance buy their own chips/cookies/ect. Their room is downstairs, but they leave everything upstairs. They get mad if people eat to much of their junk food. Not saying I eat too much, but everyone does since it's just there. Why not bring it down with them or put it in the cabinet? That would be a great help to me, make the area a lot nicer, and they wouldn't be upset about anyone eating their stuff.0 -
Also- and I mean this with absolutely no disrespect because my husband eats whatever he wants and never gains an ounce while it seems like I look at food and gain weight- you can't keep blaming your in-laws for your struggle. If they don't gain weight from the food they eat, good for them. But you do. If they want to be mad at you for making your health a priority, then that is on them. That may be a conversation you have to have with them.
But you have to take ownership of your own struggle. Them leaving junk food laying around is not the reason you're gaining weight. You're gaining weight because you eat the junk food that's in the house. You have to define your priorities. What is more important: eating the junk food that is in the house or hitting your goal weight? Until the former is significantly more important than the latter, things won't change for you.
And I say that with the most empathy possible because I have been in a similar place for a very long time. My love of eating did not outweigh my desire to be thinner/healthier. You have to find your "why" and that "why" has to be stronger than your appetite. My "why" is my daughter. I HAVE to do this for her and my love for her and the fact that she needs her mom healthy and alive for as long as possible is stronger than my love of food.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...
I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.
Then cook your own dinner and don't eat what she cooks...or eat less of what she cooks...
Life is about decisions
Hmm, come to think about it, with OP complaining the others do not like what she buys, OP please tell me you are paying rent and paying for your own groceries?
Yes of course, Me and my husband do pay for rent, groceries, electricity, ect. That would be extremely rude if we stayed there without paying for anything. Especially since his parents really could use the extra money. They work really hard and it's expensive if another person is living in the house. But it would be nice if my opinion mattered a little. I don't mind the way they eat and I don't want them to change it. Just it would be nice if they were a little mindful and put away their treats.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...
I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.
Then cook your own dinner and don't eat what she cooks...or eat less of what she cooks...
Life is about decisions
Hmm, come to think about it, with OP complaining the others do not like what she buys, OP please tell me you are paying rent and paying for your own groceries?
Yes of course, Me and my husband do pay for rent, groceries, electricity, ect. That would be extremely rude if we stayed there without paying for anything. Especially since his parents really could use the extra money. They work really hard and it's expensive if another person is living in the house. But it would be nice if my opinion mattered a little. I don't mind the way they eat and I don't want them to change it. Just it would be nice if they were a little mindful and put away their treats.
Then why do you all eat the same food??? Go shopping and get whatever YOU like. You already said they do not like the same things, so most probably you will not even have to bother telling them it is just for you. Your in laws can cook and eat whatever they like, you get your own food. So, when they have e.g. their rice as a side dish, cook a bowl of your own brown rice instead, or steam some vegetables or whatever you think would help you to stay within your goals. And buy your own lower calorie snacks. Either they will hate them and leave them all for you, or you can convert them and introduce them to new tastes too, so they become part of the family groceries list.0 -
OP sounds like you are not religiously logging your calorie intake. I understand it is difficult when other people cook for you, but if you can get a recipe for the meals you can log them on MFP using the recipe builder and calculate calories for portion sizes. If you can't weigh your food and figure out the exact calories, consciously overestimate what you are are eating.
Also you can make little changes like having a little less pasta or rice than everyone else is having. You can still sit with them and eat the same thing, but ask for a smaller portion size and I am sure they will be happy to do that for you. More for them!
Also, you can always replace the rice/pasta on your plate with some beans if you like? (There is nothing wrong with rice/pasta though, as long as you have moderate portions).
If you have a handful of crisps a cookie (the junk food), do you log these. Do you estimate how many crisps you are having or do you weigh it? I weigh the packet before and after to calculate the weight of the crisps I am eating.
With exercise calories, do you use the calorie burn given on the elliptical machine? These are estimations and can be hugely overestimated. I would use the 600kcals like you do, but don't subconsciously believe you have an extra 360kcals for emergency because you logged less than what the machine told you. Take the 600kcals as your definite, final number.
Also, if possible use a heart rate monitor as that gives you a better approximation.
If you have been doing the same exercise for over a year, the number of calories you burn now will be a lot less than when you started, not only because you weigh less, but also because your body gets more efficient at doing that activity, so do keep this in mind. Try changing your exercise routine. Try the treadmill or the cycle. Maybe try some swimming or rowing. Give you body a different challenge to work it harder and burn a few more calories hopefully.
The bottom line is, if you have stalled or you are gaining weight, you are simply eating more than you are burning. And your BMR may have been higher when you weighed more, so now your BMR will have reduced as well. Therefore, inconsistency and errors in your calorie counting, which probably didn't matter too much before, will start to become more important now which is probably why you are not losing although (you think) you are eating the same.
You will simply have to keep better records of your calories, try and overestimate calories in when you are not sure and underestimate the exercise calories.
Good luck!!! You got this!0 -
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@FunSizedKJ
Them leaving junk food laying around is not the reason you're gaining weight. You're gaining weight because you eat the junk food that's in the house
This ^^^0 -
I think after a while, when you are trying to lose a large amount of weight, it becomes more about the mental changes than the physical ones. Clearly something isn't as it seems. The science just doesn't support what you are saying. The calories don't lie. So maybe its the logging, maybe you are eating more than you think, maybe you aren't exercising as much as you think. Regardless, in my opinion, that's not the problem. It sounds like you are trying to place blame for a "slow down" in weight loss on your housemates, and that's unfair. It's unfair to them, and it's unfair to you, and all the effort you have put in so far. You have lost 64 lbs!! Picture 64 blocks of butter strapped to your body!! That's an amazing accomplishment. You did that with your own motivation, your own willpower and your own determination. It's hard to do. And it's even harder to maintain those levels of mental strength. Don't feel depressed because you are finding it harder.....try to turn it around to a stronger determination to eat properly, more motivation to exercise harder, and a steel willpower to ignore those treats and "junky" foods that are laying all over the place. Life is all about temptation and choices. Time to up the mental game in this weight loss struggle. The physical is the easy part, but the mental is the rewarding part!0
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WinoGelato wrote: »Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...
I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.
Then cook your own dinner and don't eat what she cooks...or eat less of what she cooks...
Life is about decisions
Hmm, come to think about it, with OP complaining the others do not like what she buys, OP please tell me you are paying rent and paying for your own groceries?
Yes of course, Me and my husband do pay for rent, groceries, electricity, ect. That would be extremely rude if we stayed there without paying for anything. Especially since his parents really could use the extra money. They work really hard and it's expensive if another person is living in the house. But it would be nice if my opinion mattered a little. I don't mind the way they eat and I don't want them to change it. Just it would be nice if they were a little mindful and put away their treats.
Then why do you all eat the same food??? Go shopping and get whatever YOU like. You already said they do not like the same things, so most probably you will not even have to bother telling them it is just for you. Your in laws can cook and eat whatever they like, you get your own food. So, when they have e.g. their rice as a side dish, cook a bowl of your own brown rice instead, or steam some vegetables or whatever you think would help you to stay within your goals. And buy your own lower calorie snacks. Either they will hate them and leave them all for you, or you can convert them and introduce them to new tastes too, so they become part of the family groceries list.
This. I had the same problem when living with my family. At first they were really funny with me about it, from snide remarks to outright guilt trips (you don't like my cooking do you?!) and hassling me non-stop because I was buying and making my own meals, even after explaining to them it was nothing to do with the cooking or whatever, but I wanted to lose weight.
I stuck with it despite their behaviour. And eventually, they just stopped. They accepted the fact that there was nothing they could do or say to change my mind, and just let me carry on. Stop making excuses as to why you can't lose weight and start taking some responsibility, or you will just fail. Grit your teeth, and if you want it badly enough you will find a way. Good luck!0 -
On a side note, living with in laws is never easy. As an adult, living with your own family can be extremely hard. Maybe you are just looking for something to blame them? Are there any plans of moving out? They might be awesome people, and you too might be the easiest person to live with, but still it must be hard. You could just be getting at this stage where if so much as one sneezes the wrong way, it ends up annoying everyone else.0
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Do they serve you a plate during dinner?Maybe serve it yourself or just ask for less? Also,you don't have to finish all the food given to you.0
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I see a lot of deflection and blaming rather than accepting responsibility for one's decisions and discipline. That is what is hindering your weight loss.0
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OP, you've lost a lot of weight. I think you have it in you to overcome the obstacles you've put in your way. No one is forcing you to eat. They are adults and they're allowed to have the food they want, and it's their house. You have free will, you don't have to go into the kitchen until meal time. Buy the foods you want, make them, eat them. Is it a requirement for the family unity that you eat meals with them? (I know every family has different dynamics, I'm just asking if you making and eating your own meals would cause too much tension.)
The convenience and budgetary sense it makes to live with them comes with a cost. This is one of those costs. It's up to you to decide if the convenience and cost savings is worth this cost. Accept it and adjust your behavior (either by ignoring their food or negotiating with them like adults), or move out and control your own environment more.0 -
brianpperkins wrote: »I see a lot of deflection and blaming rather than accepting responsibility for one's decisions and discipline. That is what is hindering your weight loss.
This.
Sometimes you have to really step back and take a look at what you are doing. It seems you are quick to defend what you do but find it harder to accept responsibility. Do what makes you happy - if you aren't losing weight and it's not making you happy, something needs to give. I hope this has helped in some way 0
This discussion has been closed.
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