Anyone else struggle with not liking their body after weight loss?
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Lift weights,
Stop worrying about it. Sounds like it's all in your head honestly I didn't like the way I looked during the process... kind of still don't like the way I look now but it's not an issue... and I met my fiance after my weight loss and she still loves me. I lost 172lbs so I know what it's like, however I would say my skin issues isn't horrible.0 -
You're not alone. I lost 80 pounds. I was so motivated because I wanted to see what I would like if I was fit. I had no idea that was just not going to happen. Still got bat wings and flappy stomach (which looks like a sharpei too, but yeah, less than a year ago) that makes a massive roll when I sit down. And some wrinkly mess in the inside of my thighs... It's not pretty. Also realized that I just don't like my body shape (genetics) and that I have a large frame with thin limbs and basically all the fat I have left in my belly (seems fat LOVES sticking to stretch marks, and I have a lot of those) and hips. And forget doing planks or push ups in public with that pocket hanging there. Just ugh.
So yes it's been a pretty big letdown. The positives though... I look good in clothes (just got to find the right type of dress so the hips don't show too much), and the skin has improved in my year of maintaining. So, there's that.
About relationships, well, I'm married, but yeah I guess that if I had to date it would be tough not to be self-conscious. Truth is though, if there was someone I liked, I just wouldn't care if they had some loose skin... so if you think about it, it's not really such a huge deal.
But yeah, again... I look good in clothes, lol. And I keep being told that my legs look great (I'd personally put some of my hips and belly fat in them, but what can I do). Bottom line, it's still better than being obese. But I'm 37 and don't really care about having that perfect body anymore. Just happy to go with healthy at this point.0 -
I think most of us, especially with a lot of weight lost (or left to lose) feel the same. I'm a little over halfway to my ideal goal (that may change but for now im keeping it) and have lost 70 some pounds to date. for me, the biggest issue seems to be my lower abdomen where most of my pregnancy stretch marks are. They are old and faded (17 years old) but the weight loss seems to make them stand out more and seem more.. wrinkly? i dunno. i dont like it but cant do much about it LOL
I'm hoping that my relative young age (37) and the use of coconut oil (and increased weight training when I get to that point) will help its appearance over time.
Also, I have heard that skin can take up to 2 years to get to the shape it will 'end' in - so don't discount that, too.
All that said, I can tell you that guys, especially ones that arent 'kids' - really dont seem to care. And you wouldnt want to be with one that did, anyways....0 -
you are not even close to alone
ive lost 150 pounds and I feel like my body is a mess and I ruined it. It is so hard being young and single having all this loose excess skin.......ahhh. My entire body is a mess no matter what i do and it is so hard to accept that I might not ever look how i want to look. I am trying to figure out a way to get surgery but wow it costs a lot of money
Dating is really hard I have a lot of people interested in me but trying to explain to them what my body looks like so it doesnt shock them * if we end up getting to an intimate level* and save me the pain of them being like 'oh wtf' you know? its just hard to really explain it
i really dont have any comforting words because damn it sucks and i totally get it im sorry you are in this position too
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What about saving for the surgery or surgeries that would make the most difference? Maybe that could be part of a weekly reward for adherence or fitness goals or something along those lines. I know it's not easy for many to save in this environment, but maybe some combination of saving, making some choices about spending, and taking pro financial planning advice on investment could get you there. I think comfort with your body is at least worth a couple of trips to Mexico.0
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No, but I've never liked my body.0
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I've come to terms with my stretch marks. I have had them since I was in elementary school, and they aren't going anywhere. It's the lose skin that I know will be there, because it's been there when I was thinner. I know I will love the smaller me again, but I know I will still be just as self conscious. I have a very poor outlook of my body, and probably always will. Maybe when my S.O. becomes rich and successful, I can chop it all off, heh heh0
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google says the average price of a tummy tuck in the US is $5500. breast augmentation cost = more varied, $4000-10000 (and likely to need to be repeated, unless it's just a lift).
i understand doing the thighs is not usually worth the tradeoff in scarring unless there is really a significant amount of skin to be taken off. but i think in that case it is probably worth looking into temporary cosmetic treatments that might make a difference in how you feel about things. i couldn't cope with dealing with self tanner or daily massage with oils or creams, but if it helps people who can stick with that stuff, more power to them. (also, last time i looked into it, endermologie was a temporary treatment that seemed to help some feel better about "cellulite". it is supposedly *really* deep massage; am sure it does something for blood flow, could have a temporary effect, maybe worth paying for if you can).
but anything that helps you see your body as something to care for and have positive feelings about, vs despise, is worth looking into.
personally, i think governments and insurance companies should be doing *everything possible* to reward people who've made the significant changes to their lifestyles that reduce more expensive long-term burdens to taxpayers and payers of insurance premiums. if they'll sometimes pay for WLS, why not for this? in the absence of that kind of support, i don't know... i wish there were an accessible way to help people afford this kind of surgery (vs. ripoff financing deals). (maybe there's some kind of business idea in that... )0 -
personally, i think governments and insurance companies should be doing *everything possible* to reward people who've made the significant changes to their lifestyles that reduce more expensive long-term burdens to taxpayers and payers of insurance premiums. if they'll sometimes pay for WLS, why not for this? in the absence of that kind of support, i don't know... i wish there were an accessible way to help people afford this kind of surgery (vs. ripoff financing deals). (maybe there's some kind of business idea in that... )
Because it's our own fault we got so fat in the first place.0 -
Also, weight loss reduces health risks and hospital visits. Having loose skin doesn't really impede someones physical health.
personally, i think governments and insurance companies should be doing *everything possible* to reward people who've made the significant changes to their lifestyles that reduce more expensive long-term burdens to taxpayers and payers of insurance premiums. if they'll sometimes pay for WLS, why not for this? in the absence of that kind of support, i don't know... i wish there were an accessible way to help people afford this kind of surgery (vs. ripoff financing deals). (maybe there's some kind of business idea in that... )
Because it's our own fault we got so fat in the first place.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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personally, i think governments and insurance companies should be doing *everything possible* to reward people who've made the significant changes to their lifestyles that reduce more expensive long-term burdens to taxpayers and payers of insurance premiums. if they'll sometimes pay for WLS, why not for this? in the absence of that kind of support, i don't know... i wish there were an accessible way to help people afford this kind of surgery (vs. ripoff financing deals). (maybe there's some kind of business idea in that... )
Because it's our own fault we got so fat in the first place.
Ok, well, a), I don't think assigning blame matters in terms of reducing future costs. Whatever happened before the gain, I bet reshaping surgeries are likely to encourage maintenance and reduce costs for not only diabetes etc but for psychological issues and loss of productivity, as well.
b) Just because one solution fixes a problem, doesn't mean that method is the reason the problem occurred. Stick with me on this: somebody might need a knee surgery because their ligament got torn. Why did their ligament get torn, maybe part of it is bc of an immediate trauma, or overuse, or a genetic inclination to have crappy ligaments, or they got hit by a truck. Doesn't matter, the way to fix it is still surgery.
In the same way, even though taking responsibility for weight loss is in the hands of the individual (weight loss is the knee surgery in my example, the thing that fixes it no matter what the cause was) I don't accept that it's the individual's fault they gained in the first place.
The immediate cause of being overweight is eating too much, CICO, yadda yadda. And CICO is the way out of it (like the knee surgery). But there are 1000 other completely real factors that go into it -huge portion sizes, misleading information, cities not made for walking, long-term injuries or illnesses, pregnancy, psychological issues, etc etc etc etc etc. All those things are outside of the individual.
Calorie restriction - which is taking control of things at the level of the individual - works, but it's not like it's a natural way for people to eat, it takes learning.
It is really simplistic to just say "it's your fault you were fat". And I think it's a harmful way to look at it when you connect it to the body you see every day.0 -
I mean most insurances won't even pay for a gym membership...0
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I mean most insurances won't even pay for a gym membership...
I know, I think they're totally wrong. I once had a plan that gave out those kinds of incentives, I thought it was great.
I think some numbers person here on MFP should come up with like a skin surgery coop or something.0 -
when I read some of these posts I think of one of my favorite sayings.
THERE IS PERFECTION IN IMPERFECTION.....
What goes thru my mind is that loose skin is the result of losing weight for a lot of us. Yes you can turn to heavy weight-training but for many of us its just a matter of health reasons ie: we wish to lower our Cholestrol, or lower our blood pressure. I want to go thru this world easier, less pain, less strenously etc. There has to come a time when you say to yourself, "I love myself for what I have accomplished and what I have done". There was a poster on this thread that said she didn't like her body. I am kind of sad for her, because loving yourself is one of the major steps in total acceptance. Your self esteem thrives on self love, it flurishes! Ok everyone put their arms around each other and give yourself a hug....really...right now... :-)0 -
I had a BMI of 52 at the start of the year, so I was pretty gigantic. My stomach and inner thighs looks revolting...but I love them. I love the wrinkled, ugly skin. It means I am getting smaller. I wouldn't like to flash it in public, but I smile when I see it in the mirror. Any sign that I am shrinking is welcome! I will just wear some shapewear under my clothes to smooth it all out.
I've almost lost 90lbs so far, and have about 30-40 to go before I'm planning to maintain.
We all have parts of our body that we hate, big or small, wrinkled skin or not. I detest my upper arms, they hang down over my elbows like a boob on each side. Never will I ever wear short sleeves.0 -
After weight loss I was also left with loose skin. I hated my upper arms and would only wear longer sleeved shirts. My midsection so loose I would tuck it into my jeans like a shirt. My upper thighs were only for me to see. My double chin that left loose skin was the worst of it. I started to research what could be done. This is what I found to help loose skin.
After weight loss the skin is loose and jiggly which is not just skin but excess body fat attached under the skin. This stubborn fat clings to the areas most often associated with loose or excess skin problems: the lower abdomen, lower back (love handles), hips, thighs, and butt.
Dieting as well as large amounts of cardio to lose fat causes significant muscle loss, further expanding the void between the skin and the underlying tissue.
A big part of tightening loose skin is building muscle. The reason for this is simple. There are two layers of tissue underneath your skin: fat and muscle, both of which press up against your skin and keep it from sagging loosely. The skin will stick to the muscle instead of sagging.
Building muscle is the solution to all these woes because it literally fills in the looseness in the skin, creating a visibly tighter, healthier look.
Adopt a high-protein diet. Eat several servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Gelatin supplements and fish oil have many health benefits in the improvement of skin elasticity, Also, don’t smoke.
If you do all these things and remain patient, there’s a very good chance you can dramatically reduce or even eliminate your loose skin problem without going under the knife.
I started to build my muscle a couple of months ago. I am already seeing some changes to my skin. I know it does not happen overnight but I am really excited to see more results. I also use body oils after I shower to keep it from being dry.
I will keep you all posted as I progress.0 -
After weight loss I was also left with loose skin. I hated my upper arms and would only wear longer sleeved shirts. My midsection so loose I would tuck it into my jeans like a shirt. My upper thighs were only for me to see. My double chin that left loose skin was the worst of it. I started to research what could be done. This is what I found to help loose skin.
After weight loss the skin is loose and jiggly which is not just skin but excess body fat attached under the skin. This stubborn fat clings to the areas most often associated with loose or excess skin problems: the lower abdomen, lower back (love handles), hips, thighs, and butt.
Dieting as well as large amounts of cardio to lose fat causes significant muscle loss, further expanding the void between the skin and the underlying tissue.
A big part of tightening loose skin is building muscle. The reason for this is simple. There are two layers of tissue underneath your skin: fat and muscle, both of which press up against your skin and keep it from sagging loosely. The skin will stick to the muscle instead of sagging.
Building muscle is the solution to all these woes because it literally fills in the looseness in the skin, creating a visibly tighter, healthier look.
Adopt a high-protein diet. Eat several servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Gelatin supplements and fish oil have many health benefits in the improvement of skin elasticity, Also, don’t smoke.
If you do all these things and remain patient, there’s a very good chance you can dramatically reduce or even eliminate your loose skin problem without going under the knife.
I started to build my muscle a couple of months ago. I am already seeing some changes to my skin. I know it does not happen overnight but I am really excited to see more results. I also use body oils after I shower to keep it from being dry.
I will keep you all posted as I progress.
No, it doesn't. It will fill some of the space BELOW the skin, so it's a bit less stretched out, but it's not a miracle solution at all because it doesn't affect the skin itself at all. And muscle being denser than fat, you'd have to build a LOT of it to fill up all the space the fat used to occupy, and it's pretty much impossible for women to build that much muscle.
Then of course there's the question about whether we like the muscular look or not.0 -
I was struggling with this a lot a few months back. My stomach was getting what I call "ditches" on either side where it seemed like fat under the skin was melting away but I still had the spare tire around my waist. I also have stretch marks on my arms and sides.
I have learned to live with it. I'm now 20 lbs. away from my goal, and my spare tire is shrinking. The belly is going away too. The stretch marks and weird "ditches" in the side of my stomach are still there, and they might always be there. But there are a million other things to be happy about that cancel out my somewhat weird looking belly:
1. I just got rid of 5 boxes of fat clothes. My shirts are now all L instead of XXL and my pants are all 34 instead of 38 or 40.
2. I'm 53 lbs. lighter.
3. My blood pressure is now fantastic.
4. My fatty liver problem is completely gone.
5. My resting heart rate is normal.
6. My knees feel better.
7. My wife is always checking me out.
So whatever. I'll take the stretch marks and the lumpiness as a tradeoff. And I'm not done losing weight yet, so I'm sure I will continue to see the little improvements here and there as time goes on. I do think at some point I'm going to have to accept a certain amount of mushy-ness--bulging discs in my back have been keeping me from doing much weight work.0 -
I'm 'flabby', sure - but a hell of a lot happier with myself than I was 30lbs heavier.
I understand it can be stressful to go from being overweight, to healthy with 'saggy skin' and stretch marks - but we aren't photoshopped victoria's secret models, we are human beings. Our bodies change, expand, shrink, age. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not losing weight for vanity reasons (of course that plays a part) but I'm also losing weight because I respect my body. If being lighter and a little saggier means being healthier and happier in the long run - I'll take lighter and saggier.
Since losing weight, I've noticed stretch marks all over my inner thighs.
But I can also sprint 2 miles and squeat heavy weights and fit in to size 8 (UK) clothes. I'm incorporating different exercises into my routine to reduce the 'wobble' but I'm just delighted with my progress and if I've gained a few battle scars in the process, then so be it.
You're healthy. This is the important thing. Congratulations
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I don't worry about it because 1st after I became sick with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome at 14, I stopped going through puberty; for 2 years & then when it started again, I went up 4 bra sizes in 2 months. Bras weren't an affordable expense, every time I outgrew them; so they've always been saggy & I also have stretch marks, at the top of them. 2nd due to a genetic disorder, I became severely bloated when I was 2 1/2; which left stretch marks across my torso as if I had been pregnant & had a baby, which I've never had. 3rd I had to have 2 biopsy's done to determine, that I had a genetic condition & what it was, when I was 6 months; so I have 2 dimpled scars from that as well. 1 across the right side of my torso, next to my belly button & 1 on the front of my right thigh, in the middle.0
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